View source for 2023-01-06: I cannot comprehend your attempts to assist me, but I am too shaken to deny you

*'''Log: I cannot comprehend your attempts to assist me, but I am too shaken to deny you'''
*'''Cast:''' [[Character :: Yuliana Kafim]], [[Character :: Leina Ashta]], [[Character :: Elisa Kafim]]
*'''Where: Barcelona, Spain''' 
*'''Date: 2023-01-06''' 
*'''Summary''': ''Yuliana chances on Leina after a wetworking mission and asks to speak with her. Leina, in turn, pleads for Alma's release -- and slowly, painfully drags Yuliana to the idea of giving her anything at all, going through her own trauma over being a mistreated Cyber-Newtype in the process. Yuliana asks for help. She has to ask Elisa about the Alma issue, and, impressed with Leina's ruthlessness and willingness to help Yuliana, Elisa agrees to treat with Leina further. Unfortunately, Yuliana's work partner, Parminder Chaudhri, is a spy of some excellence... so he hears everything, through an earpiece she left on.''
----

[[Category:Logs]]
[[Category:Phase 1, Turn 2]]

 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        It's a lovely little house in Spain -- Barcelona. Studying abroad in a city like this would take a nice salary, but luckily, the CEO's daughter doesn't have to worry about anything as frivolous as that.

        Didn't. She didn't have to worry about that.

        "Dirty business, huh?" Parminder jokes, looking over the bottles of pills they laid out for her. Her own medications. Her nervous breakdowns are a known quantity, so it's not so unbelievable she'd take a few too many, and then a whole bottle more. "Sure, sure, control of the economy through a central authority and all, but you'd reckon we'd have some other bargaining chip than knocking off his brat."

        "He grew too arrogant," Yuliana replies, behind her mask; they're wearing gloves as well, of course. It's important to be exact, with things like this. "The stain of capitalism is such that even our own people may decide they know better than the whole, exposed to the world as he was. This is a kindness. He will prosper far more when he accepts the proper guidance."

        Parminder inserts a data stick into her computer, and clones the machine, easily. He's as used to this as any of them are. "'A kindness'? Man, you're pretty cold, Captain," he grins, sharp. "Just who are you trying to convince, huh?"

        "It's just a fact of our existence," Yuliana scowls, looking to him.

        "Oh, yeah, you're definitely riled up," Parminder confirms, as he swaps one data stick for another. This is an upload, not a download; searches for melancholy music, support groups, the pharmacological properties of the girl's pills, their LD-50 values. Deniability. "I'd rate this at about an 'eight' on your personal propaganda scale. I'm just waiting for you to big up Jie Bo Liao, here."

        "Our leader is a strong man," Yuliana insists, tense, "but I hope it isn't necessary to convince you of that."

        "Man, no one has to convince ''me'' of shit," Parminder shrugs a shoulder, as he pulls his stick. He doesn't touch the machine as he works. They're careful operatives. "I just do whatever!"

        "You're insufferable," Yuliana snaps, because for once she's not the biggest troll in the room.

        And Parminder knows it. "Yup!"

        They leave no evidence they were here.

        ...---...

        They could be any two friends, walking down the streets of Barcelona. Parminder Chaudhri is a tall Indian man with an absolute ''mane'' of orange hair, dressed in a sardonic t-shirt ('Oh, That's Your Standard PEBKAC Error') and slacks, hands all buried in those pockets. The teal-haired woman beside him has relatively-lighter skin, a shorter stature, and a good deal more ''scars,'' including a prominent one down the left side of her face. Yuliana Kafim is dressed in a business suit which is much more professional than her fellow, though the purple and yellow scarf looped around her neck adds a dash of fun to her appearance.

        They talk about a recent television show the REA has produced, like normal people. Like they haven't just killed someone, and made it look like her own decision. Parminder is difficult to read, in a normal sort of way -- just particularly closed-off from emotional possibility -- but beside Yuliana as he is, he benefits from the horrific void which surrounds her, too. It means all the world has to go off of is their easy expressions, smiling as they walk.

        "Letda," Yuliana chides her second lieutenant with her typical Indonesian slang, grinning, "you ''can't'' tell me you didn't see Gao Jiahao and Fan Na Nuan getting together. They've been building up to it this ''whole'' time."

        "I'm just sayin'," Parminder shrugs, "Jiahao would've worked ''way'' better with Shui Kai. Like, those guys actually had ''chemistry.''"

        "Yeah," Yuliana points out, with her own slice of sardony. "Those ''guys.'' There's your problem. Come, now, you can't miss how they're trying to encourage birth rates with this season."

        "This is homophobia," Parminder pouts.

        "I mean, basically, yeah," Yuliana agrees.

        It's a very normal conversation from two people who definitely aren't assassins.



</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

"The bank is asking questions.  They really want that money."

"Tell them they can ''wait''.  If they can't understand my security concerns that it's coming from Doctor Wilhelm Von Hell then they can ''piss right off''."

Leina is in a Burgundy Pantsuit with only a black turtleneck underneath it for the weather.  A pair of smart flats are on her feet.

"We're investigating it thoroughly to make certain the money isn't dirty.  I won't fall into his trap of being another good PR headline for him.  'Yumi Foundation Accepts Donation from Reformed Citizen Hell.'"

"You know that 'Yumi Foundation Rejects Donation from Reformed Citizen Hell.' plays into his hands as well."

Leina glowers, a phone still pressed to her ear. "It at least stalls things while we're investigating it."

And that's the moment that Leina gets a small Newtype Flash of aggressive intentionality.  What that intentionality is though causes her to roll her eyes.

"I've gotta go Vel - apparently there's something I've gotta deal w-" That intentionality abruptly vanishes, as a young man in his early 20's pushes by a woman in a business suit and scarves with a purposeful gait.

Leina puzzles in that moment, as she hits end on her phone, just as that feeling returns, and a swarthy tall and broad shouldered young man in an expensive coat blocks her view, "Muneca, de que juguetera te escapaste?"

He asks her with a cocksure smile, and Leina tries to lean past him, as he instead moves to try and block her view to keep the attention of her green eyes.  Seeing just how aggressive he is, Leina levels her eyes on him, annoyed, "No tengo tiempo para ninos pequenos que quieren tratar a las ninas como juguetes."

Seeming unperturbed by her response, he tries again, "Estas bien. Mereces ser tratada como una mujer. Te muestro como es eso?"

Leina makes a frustrated sound, the much smaller young woman putting a finger up to his breastbone, "Toma una pista y sal de mi camino." As her hand abruptly becomes a palm, and tries to press there to push him aside...

...  because she has no idea what she'll see on the other side.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "To be honest," Parminder says, "I really think the show started going downhill after --"

        Yuliana glances aside, listening to a conversation. "One sec," she says, holding up a finger as she turns away.

        And Parminder just puts on his best 'I don't have a bag of popcorn, but you know I would' grin as he watches her listen to a Spanish conversation. Behind that large man, she steps up --

        And a South-Eastern hand with a rich wedding ring appears up on his shoulder, with a tight grasp, as Yuliana gently but ''very'' firmly spins him about. "Los hombres deben perseguir a las ''mujeres,'' no a las ninas," she issues him -- and her Spanish is clearly not her first or even ''fifth'' language, but it's still intelligible enough. "Tienes un problema...?"

        Surprise crosses her face, though, when her gaze flicks from that pushy man to -- "Leina?" Yuliana asks, and sounds honestly ''confused.'' Whether she is or not is a mystery unto herself, of course; there's no way to read her.

        "Pierdase," she snaps, to the man, pushing him aside without another thought. She's evidently much more engaged with who he was trying to harass.

        As if Yuliana doing it is any better.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Leina ''doesn't'' recognize that voice at first, not with the man being tall enough to block most of the view, not with Spanish being not even her fifth language, not with her being ''just.'' out of range of that Void.

She's on edge from that weird experience of intentionality ping ponging in and out and back into existence but hasn't quite put it together.

She just figures someone else has seen someone being too aggressive with a teen and is relieved for it.  Then, her name is sounded in a way wholly familiar, and Leina startles, and takes a step back, a hand moving down to her pocket almost in reflex.

It eases away from that pocket a moment later though, even if she couldn't sense her that surprise doesn't look feigned, an act.

And she doesn't sense an ambush from elsewhere?

Still she doesn't step back her way, even if she looks and sounds a touch ruffled from the sudden unexpected coincidence, "Yuliana." As she switches to English, the street harasser no longer a factor.  If he gets aggressive again...

... the pocket she was reaching for was a stungun, her firearm is elsewhere on her person.

He doesn't try again, deciding it isn't worth the trouble now with her defender, he felt the strength in that arm.  Instead he just walks away muttering, "Perra extranjera."

Leina keeps her eyes on her, he's a non factor, "Since your wife isn't with you - I'm assuming you're in town on business?"

Well, she hasn't walked or ran away yet, that's something.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Yuliana's lip curls, as she watches that awful man walk away. She knows enough Spanish to recognise ''that'' insult. As a Federation officer, she ''could'' make life very difficult for him...

        ... but Leina's right here, so she has bigger fish to fry. Yuliana smiles, and tells Leina, because the truth is far too impolite for an open street: "I'm just visiting. Barcelona is a lovely city." (English, again. Yuliana has an agonisingly standard OCU strain of the language.)

        The lion of a man who was with Yuliana, hearing that, turns and inconspicuously disappears into the crowd. He's a transfer from Intelligence; he's not about to blow Yuliana's story wide open for no reason.

        Also, Parminder thinks, it's funnier this way.

        "I didn't expect to see you here," she assures Leina, and this, at least, is true. "I'm not here to cause you any trouble. Though... let me at least congratulate you for your performance the other week. I'm pleased ''someone'' thought to pull a gun on the bastard as soon as they saw him."

        Yuliana sighs, smoothing her fingers back through her hair. "... not that it would do much more than distract someone like him..." Really, that's ''much'' more annoying when the immunity to bullets isn't being displayed by her wife.

        She glances aside, as her fingers come to rest at her cheek. "Anyway..." Yuliana starts, delicately, a touch evasively, and it's not difficult to imagine the next sentence being disengagement. (That would, certainly, be kinder.)

        "...", she elides, lips parted. (One of her canines is sharp, and pointed, and the normal canine beside it is tilted sideways to accomodate.) She shakes her head, and looks to Leina, again. "No, I... I want to talk to you," she changes her mind, brow knit with the struggle of the sentence.

        Beat,

        "But -- you don't have to. I can just as easily keep walking!" Well, much like pulling teeth, she made an effort.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>


The man doesn't know how easily he's getting off.  Fortunately for Yuliana, Leina is thoroughly used to that strain of the language from her time in the OCU.  Koji refined his mastery in Britannia, but Shiro was never the academic abroad.

"Right." There's a neutrality to that tone, like she doesn't quite believe her but she's not going to press it.

After all, during their first meeting it was made quite clear there are things that should not be pressed in public.

Despite the number of coincidences as of late, and the ways Yuliana has hurt the people she cares about, Leina does believe her when she says she's not here to cause any trouble.

"Unfortunately, the moment he made it clear he wasn't going to attack the gala like the last time he made an appearance, was the moment when shooting him would have just played into his PR campaign of reformation."

She knows very well that Dr. Hell wasn't going to be killed by small arms fire, too but...

"The last time he appeared at the gala he threatened to murder everyone on the spot with his Mycenean magic.  Sayla shooting him made him change his mind, it became a Kikaiju attack with almost no casualties."

...  she still explains herself.  As it says a lot about Dr. Hell's mindset. "His campaign?  It's unfortunately likely to work, I'm rather certain he's wagering that everyone will be cowards and accept his reformation as the path of least resistance, with the most benefits."

Why is she explaining what she was doing?  Why is she explaining how she thinks Dr. Hell will act going forward?  ...  Perhaps she wants to be understood as well.

The subject changes, and Yuliana looks like she's going to disengage, for more 'tourism' and Leina doesn't speak up in these moments.  However, her lips part, and she says she wants to talk to her.

She offers her an alternative.  Leina's own lips part, then close.  Like she's considering it.  She takes a breath, as her eyes drop.  It would be easy to say no, but it would have been just as easy for Yuliana to keep her chained when the NT-D went out of control.  Eventually...

"...  Alright."

It's a simple acquiescence at first, "Someplace relatively public, where we can speak freely then." Conversation would be useless if they simply danced around everything.

"I know a spot."

-=-=-

Assuming Yuliana agrees, she takes a circuitous route towards a Tapas bar a few blocks away.  Inside she chooses a table in the back, where it's easy enough for both of them to see the exit, but have space between them.

It's early in the day, so there's almost noone here but employees and a few scattered folks at tables near the front.

For now she orders a few of the spicier options, given the winter months, and drinks...  then... she starts talking...

"I already told you I was a prisoner of war in Axis eight years ago.  While there I met a girl, who was created to be a weapon.  ...  Her name was Elpeo."

Leina is looking mostly away from Yuliana, keeping her eyes on the door.  She too is being cautious here.

"She hated me.  Because our captor played favorites.  He wanted me, a girl from the slums to become a Lady, while she would stay his weapon.  A mobile suit pilot.  ...  She was ten.  It was easy enough for her to blame me, even if it was treatment I never wanted - a life I never wanted, instead of him."

There's this soft exhale of breath, and she seems, abstracted?  Thoughtful?

"In the end she tried to murder me.  My brother stopped her, convinced her that we could be a family together.  From that moment on, I suppose I always thought of her as a little sister - but it was the last time I ever saw her alive."

She finally seems to look at Yuliana out of her periphery, "I was in a hospital bed when she died in Dublin, fighting the forces of the man who had controlled both of our lives."

For a time, it's just silence, and it's unclear what point she's making telling her all of this.  Until she breaks her silence again.

"Her...  'last wish' so to speak was to find and reunite her family.  Something I've spent the last eight years of my life trying to do."

Now her seagreen eyes look at Yuliana with a certain intensity, "I found out recently before her transfer to the REA, that Alma was her genetic mother.  A mother she never got the chance to meet.  So I'm asking you...  as someone who knows the importance of family.  Please..."

There's a small crack in her voice, one of sadness, like she's on the verge of tears but forcing it back, quieter now, "...please let her go."



</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "He's an awful man," Yuliana scowls, on the topic of Dr. Hell. "I don't believe his story for a second... but the world has always been vulnerable to approaches like that." She's thinking of Haman Karn, of course. She supposes Leina might be, too.

        And when Leina acquieses, Yuliana is agreeable enough, too: "All right."

        She'll follow her. Even if she 'disappears', her man is on the ground, so she won't be in trouble for long.

        ...---...

        Yuliana doesn't order anything alcoholic, but she handles spice just fine. She sits on the opposite side of the table as Leina, scooches into the corner. She can't really avoid keeping her in the twilight of her abyss, but she can at least try to keep her out of arm's reach, and the absolute silence which comes from being in her melee range.

        You know. Making an effort.

        (Why is she making an effort?)

        Yuliana frowns, glancing aside to the wall, as Leina talks about the weapon she knew. Her left hand twitches. The healing gel stitched her cuts up quickly... but she remembers it just fine.

        Under the table, her legs fold over each other; the way her arms fold is more visible, fingers burying in the crooks of her elbows. "Of ''course'' she's important," Yuliana starts, defensively, and a shade too honestly. (That's why it's so effective to hurt her. Because she's important to Lilith.) "But -- I mean --"

        She sighs, all writ in tension, and settles on a different half-truth instead. "Even if I cared to," Yuliana frowns, "it's not as simple as that." A lie, though her explanation is the truth: "I'm not the one who fashioned her leash. Were I to cut her loose, at present, it would only break her heart." That's one way to describe the agony she can put Alma through, anyway.

        Of course, it ''is'' that simple -- because even if Yuliana doesn't command that magic herself, she needs only say a word of request to Elisa, and her darling wife would get her a new toy instead.

        But Leina doesn't have to know that.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

It's tough enough for Leina to even TALK about this with Yuliana, it's vulnerability in a sense of handing her a weapon, and she knows it.  Because it's a chart to why she feels so drawn to Yuliana herself...

...  so long as Yuliana can acknowledge that.

She listens to Yuliana start, and draws back in her seat, watching her.  Picking up her drink, and taking a sip. (It too is non-alcoholic) She listens to the half truth...

...  and...  leans back in her seat, thinking upon it.

"I know you're not, it was your wife." It doesn't sound accusing per se, not like a 'gotcha', but it's just - matter of fact, 'I know it is her.' when in reality it's just 'It must be her.'

The problem though sounds plausible enough.  She knows very well how much it harmed Mineva to even be exposed to it.  She knows what it felt like when those eyes looked at her.

"At present." She echoes before she then asks, "Then how would you start the process of releasing her more gently?"

She appears to be buying that much.  After all, with Lilith in prison...  well, she can believe that doing the same thing would suck a lot.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Her tone is important. Yuliana wouldn't forgive the wrong one, when it comes to her dearest wife.

        That Leina knows things is fine, though, and Yuliana expects that much.

        Yuliana is wordless, for a moment, humming discontent through her lips. Under the table, her ankle taps. For a long moment, it might seem as if she'll give her no answer at all.

        "... I'd need to speak with Elisa," she settles on, finally. "Tell her I've changed my mind... and ask her to release her hold in a gentler fashion. Since it's unlikely she'd survive careless discarding." One jealous green eye opens, a crack, glaring back in Leina's direction. "Which would mean I'd have to ''care.'' You're presuming an awful lot, if you think that."

        Just in case Leina forgot who she was talking to.

        "Well," Yuliana sighs, gaze tracking up to the ceiling lights, "that's not to say she hasn't been useful to me... and I suppose I have another reason entirely to resent her, now she's been fashioned to our service." She pauses, her expression tightening, for a moment. "Never mind that," she adds, a shade hurried. It was too honest.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Under the table Leina crosses her legs, taking a piece of spicy calamari, and chewing it thoughtfully.

She gives Yuliana a surprised look at first, but it quickly becomes more shrewd when she tells her she's presuming an awful lot.

She then allows that she's been useful, and Leina thinks on it more thoroughly, before she then tells her she has another reason to resent her.  An eyebrow raises, before she hurriedly adds, 'Never mind that,'

There's a slow blink of Leina's eyes, before she picks up her drink, raising it, taking a sip, lowering it.

It leaves the faintest trace of lipstick residue on the edge.

"...  Well, if you're sure you don't want to talk about it, but I don't mind listening."

She doesn't wait though, as if to presume she does, since she closed off the subject. "Maybe I'm presuming an awful lot that you'd care but...  you're the one who just told me she was important."

Leina's fingertip traces the edge of her glass, "There's not many people in your life you'd say that about.  ...  Which sounds as if you're actually rather hesitant to let her go, for reasons other than her health."

The fingertip slides in the opposite direction, "From all she said during our last encounter, she does think the world of you.  I doubt she'd entertain a single negative word about you from anyone."

Leina then allows a thin smile, "You wouldn't happen to be the type to lead a girl on, would you, Yuliana?"



</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Yuliana's not about to tell Leina how she feels about the hollow dolls helping her.

        Not for free, anyway.

        "Tch," Yuliana clicks her tongue to too many teeth, when Leina finishes speaking. "I don't like your tone." She unfolds her arms to grasp her sparkling water, and takes a sip. Because she's thirsty, not because she's stalling.

        She's in a dangerous situation, emotionally speaking.

        And, like so many other things, she did it to herself.

        "I..." Fine, settle on that reading; it's uncomfortable, but if she wants Leina onside, it's the only route through. "I don't... have any friends, Leina. Just the people I work with... and the people I work on. Even if I screamed out for help, no one would come... because my neighbours expect me to make a racket."

        Oh. That would explain a few things.

        "But my Elisa made sure someone would be on my side," Yuliana says, voice tightening, as her hand slips from her glass to the table. Forethought to avoid crushing it, perhaps, with the way her fingers curl. "And, you know, it's not like she couldn't still live a normal life... it's Lilith who forced the issue! If not for that flagrant assault, then...! Everything would have been just fine!"

        Yuliana looks back to the wall she's tucked herself against, and really, as much as it's the approach she's chosen, she still hates feeling this pathetic. It takes her a moment to speak up again, but her tone at least relaxes back down a little from its previous tension. "But now she's with me... she makes sure I remember my medicines, and reminds me to call Elisa often enough... she even notices when I'm about to have a seizure, or when I need to be distracted, or... she's very helpful, you know. Even if she's tiresomely spineless..."

        Well, she wasn't ''planning'' on giving it to her for free.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Yuliana doesn't like her tone?  Leina replies to that one in short order, "You might understand why I'm a ''little'' upset and a ''little'' skeptical after what happened in Khanka and at Boss Ramen."

She holds up a hand, and offers something conciliatory to take the edge off of it, "I know you kept it to no casualties, and I appreciate that.  And I know you didn't order Alma to come after me.  ...  I still don't have the luxury of trusting that the people higher up than you will have the best interests of my boyfriend in mind if he were in your custody.  And I'm sure they'd find out ''pretty quickly'' that you had him, given how many people in the Federation are looking for him."

Another pause.

"''And'' Audrey was still very hurt by what happened, and I also don't have the luxury of believing you wouldn't have been okay with Alma bringing her home to you in a similar state as to the one she's in."

She does settle back down to listen to her explain, when she starts with having no friends, there's a tilt of her head.  It's makes sense that she'd be lonely, feel isolated, she can even sympathize with it.  It's just-

-weird for her to think that about someone she considers fake.  It's something Leina still hasn't totally lined up in her head.  There's a flicker of horror in her eyes when she realizes that Lilith was right, that this definitely did happen before the Wedding.

And that things escalated after, in retaliation.

Then there's the moment of relating all of that, all that vulnerability, all that Alma does for her.  And Leina's eyes just can't leave her, her mouth a touch slack.

The paradoxical mix of emotions in this moment as her gut ''twists''.  The faint thread of connection to Alma that she tries to focus on right now.

For a time Leina's eyes are distant, far away.  As she wonders...  it makes her sick, because these are all things she'd do for Yuliana willingly - if she left her current situation.  It makes her sick because these are all things she knows she'd have done for Elpeo to try and help her recover.

The chair moves back, and Leina slowly brings herself to stand up, but Yuliana might notice she hasn't grabbed her bag, she hasn't made to leave, "I can't approve of punishing her to get back at Lilith.  ...  I can't approve of taking away her free will to choose to do these things for you."

It may be a surprise, or it might be a moment of twisted satisfaction when Leina willingly moves into the biting silence of the void, her hand having to stay on the table as if to steady her from the sudden dizzying effect as her sense of being grounded in the world is closed off.

She then sits against the edge of the table, and puts a hand to her cheek, just like before, "You realize she'd have done these things for you anyway, if you left?  If you put in the effort to change.  It's the kind of person Alma is."

Leina then tells her quietly, "I would too.  I'd like to be your friend - I would, but at every turn you're doing things I can't allow to the people in my life."

She gives her an reassuring look, "Rita wants you out too.  She wants to see you out of this situation.  Even now.  ...  There are people you don't even realize that have gotten out, that know you, that you and your people think...  didn't."

It's risky, and she knows it to say these things, but, she says Rita.  Rita is someone who got out, but in a...  way that feels like she didn't.  She knows Athrusa did, but she won't betray that.

"They're living their lives even now.  I know they'd want to see you again, to help you." Her seagreen eyes try to give her a look of understanding, "You just have to take the first step.  Then every other one after that."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        OST: Icon for Hire - Fix Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtAbTub3rYQ

        "I didn't ''ask'' her to do that," Yuliana scowls, correcting Leina, sharply, when she brings up her girlfriend. "I said she could ''talk'' to Mineva." And that might even sound sympathetic -- Yuliana declining to totally isolate Alma from the people who knew her.

        That Yuliana is leaving out quite a lot of key context is for her to know and Leina to never find out, ideally speaking.

        (She doesn't argue about the rest, which is its own comment, really.)

        The chair shifts, and Yuliana's scowl deepens -- she knows what she expects Leina to do. She glances over to snap off some closing remark, only to blink, surprised, as she sees Leina move around to her side of the table.

        "You..."

        Elisa assured her it was fine to let her help, so this much is fine, isn't it? Even if there's all that gouged-out space around her...

        Yuliana's eyes close, even as she tilts her cheek into Leina's hand. "None but Elisa would possibly help me," she murmurs, dismal, and she has nothing to do with the tears leaking down from her eyes. "This whole world hates me... even my own country..!"

        It's a little blurry, looking up to Leina, and the green of her own eyes is an avarice more hostile to both sea and sky. "Ritechka," she breathes, made vulnerable by the memory. "She's still alive..? Please, there's... still things I have to say to her." Just don't ask her what they are. Don't ask what she could say, in the face of all that's come. That the words must exist is only one part of it.

        "But I can't leave," she insists, jaw clenching in tension. "I really... really can't leave. I.. the situation's complicated, I'm... they, they made..." Her voice dies in her throat.

        It would be better, if she could just say she was a weapon, given what Leina told her.

        But there's no safe way to hold a shard of glass like that.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

"I didn't say you asked her." Leina notes, gently, not raising her voice, "I said that you would have been okay with the outcome where she brings her back under your control."

Yuliana's grudge against Zeon is something she knows quite well, from Operation British - to how she was censured at Torrington.

She knows better than to poke that wound though.

A finger thumbs at one of her tears, as they fall.  "The world is messed up." She agrees, "The fact you're made to suffer like this is only more evidence of that.  Do you think I hate you?  That Rita hates you?"

There's a thin smile, "You frustrate me a lot.  I get angry a lot at the things you do.  I understand why you do them, why you feel the way you do about a lot of things, but I can't be ''okay'' with them.  ...  If you think noone but Elisa can help you, then ask her to come with you.  Who could possibly threaten her?"

Elisa is a whole can of worms, and one she knows that will one day have to be addressed, but...  for now, she doesn't know enough.  Save that she cares about Yuliana.

Leina's face is a blurry watercolor right now in Yuliana's vision, and there's, a sigh...  then - "She's the Phenex Yuliana.  The experiments they...  they led there.  ...  In the state she's in, she'd have trouble talking to you directly."

She tells her honestly, because she values that honesty - she doesn't withhold it as a bargaining chip, "She's free, in a way that she wants to be." She gives her a sympathetic look, "She hasn't forgotten you, we've spoken about you.  She showed me things about your time together at the Institute.  I can talk to her.  If there's something you need to say to her, it can be delivered."

The insistence that she can't leave, Leina looks at her, then she says quietly, "Your situation may not be the same, but I've known lots of people that thought they couldn't leave similar circumstances." She tells her quietly, "They twist you up, they make you believe it's impossible."

Her hand remains against that cheek, "Things don't have to hurt like that.  I know there will still be some pain no matter what - you told me as much - but things can get better.  Be better." A soft whisper, "For you."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Yuliana just scowls, with a dismissive sort of noise, when Leina supposes she would have been okay with Mineva's fate. It's not ''not'' a denial. It can be a lot of things, really.

        She can't twist it around, though, when she gets this twisted up.

        "You must," she insists, when Leina asks if she thinks they hate her.

        She shakes her head, fractionally. "It's not Elisa I'm worried for," Yuliana says, dismal. "I can't... do that to my country." What 'that' is, she leaves unstated.

        Her teary eyes widen, though, when Leina finally tells her what happened to Rita. It takes her a moment to ''process'' it. "What? But... that Gundam... there was nothing in there! Nothing!" She might have called Leina a liar, except --

        That Gundam elected to save her from a missile volley, even though there was no one inside.

        To save... her.

        "No... no way," she whispers, instead. "You're telling me... the last thing I said to her is... I can't ever... oh, never mind!" Her eyes squeeze shut, teeth grit. "As if it even matters..!! If she wants something as awful as that, that just proves she's always been ''hopeless..!''" But if it doesn't matter, why is her breathing still so ragged?

        She stays that way, obviously ''sulking,'' for long moments. (Sniffling.) Eventually, her eyes blink open, and she looks up to Leina again.

        "I ''know'' it is," she insists, miserable. "I know what happens... to people who try and escape with state secrets. A-and -- ''I'm'' a state secret, Leyasha." Another Russian diminutive, but this one's applied to ''her'' name. "You wouldn't even believe --"

        She would, but Yuliana doesn't ''know'' that, as her gut twists and she ends up pouring it out anyway. "They were trying to make a ''Cyber-Newtype'' of me!" Yuliana exclaims, with all the horror of realising one is a rat. "They even thought they did! That's what they called me, where I couldn't see it! Just a defective Cyber-Newtype...! Even though the Doctor said I ought to hate them!" Her arms curl about herself, clutching at her elbows. She does not go so far as to reach for Leina.

        "They were wrong, of course," Yuliana mutters, acrid. "I'm nothing short of a miracle... but if Elisa hadn't been there... I think I might have gone mad, knowing that. Being associated with ''that...''"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

"Why?"

Leina asks, to 'You must,'

"...  I consider someone who tried to murder me my little sister now.  Why must I hate you?"

Leina tilts her head, to the idea of her not being able to do that to her country, "...  I know you feel like you owe them much, but what they offer you back is pain, and hatred.  You said it yourself, they hate you.  Why endure for people who despise you?"

It's a question, but Leina's hand stays where it is, only subtly shifting, perhaps each time to catch a tear with a thumb.  Her head is already throbbing from how much her perception of the world is altered in this space, but she endures.

Her reaction to Rita, causes a wince, before Leina tells her, "It matters.  And she's not hopeless.  She cares about you Yuliana...  if that makes her hopeless, then what does that say about everyone else who does?"

There's an owlish blink as she says she knows what happens to people, 'Leyasha.' She's not certain how to parse that, other than it sounds affectionate.  Her breath catches for a moment, then...

She mentions that they were trying to make a Cyber Newtype of her!

Horror of horrors.  Leina's sea green eyes soften in this moment.  She was certain before, from how Yuliana described her worldview, but now even Yuliana can't seem to deny that was the intention.

Bending over in this moment, she wraps one arm around her shoulders, meeting her eyes. "Even if you were, it wouldn't change a thing for me."

In part because she's known for some time, but she's not being insincere here, not trying to rules lawyer how she considers her,  "You are who you are - who you want to be.  You're Yuliana Kafim.  They don't get to decide what you are.  ...  Only you do."

She says with a certain sweetness.  Leina may not like miracles, for what they represent - for how people cede over their agency out of the belief that only a miracle can change things.

"...  If you're a miracle, then it means you want things to change, doesn't it?  That you want to change things.  Well - you can make them better, for yourself, for others - today."

She doesn't outright state Alma in this moment, but it's clear perhaps she absolutely means her, "Please Yuliana.  ...  It would make Rita so proud of you."



</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Because... I don't want to die!" Yuliana chokes out, miserable. "Of course I'm angry... it's not like I'm not punishing them at all, but... even I can only get away with so much!"

        What Yuliana is doing to the REA, though, she doesn't immediately clarify.

        "If she wants to... be something I can't even hear, then..!" There's bitter rejection, in Yuliana's voice, that Rita has gone somewhere she can't follow. She is angry here, just the same.

        Even though she's angry, Leina still wraps an arm around her. Yuliana stiffens -- and doesn't pull away. There's something which feels a little off, about Leina's encouragement, but...

        ... maybe she's just not accounting for how well Elisa knows her.

        She nods, painfully earnest, as Leina wonders whether she wants to change things. She does. She's always wanted to change the world.

        But the way Leina wants it to change -- Yuliana looks away, scowling, even as a hand comes up to grasp the other girl's arm. Mixed signals. These ones aren't even on purpose. "Ritechka... how could she ever be?!" It's not that Yuliana can't imagine a world where Rita is proud of her. It's just...

        ... too painful to think about.

        "I'm your enemy! There's no way I can spare you! I thought... I had this horrible thought, that if I was one of those aberrations I hate, everything I've done must be unforgivable... but I'm ''not!'' I'm the answer to all this ''hubris''...!"

        Her breath hitches in a sob, as she bites out: "Even Medical saw ''something'' of it... since they called me the next generation of warfare. But even if they're three steps ahead, they don't appreciate what I can do at all..."

        And what, exactly, can Yuliana do?

        Her fingers tighten, and so do the muscles in her shoulders. "I... I'd have to explain to Elisa, I'd have to ask Elisa... and why should anything have changed? Why should I care? There's no reason for me to care about some violator who -- who doesn't know anything! So what if she had to eat those awful meal replacements too? So what if EXAM fucked with her too?! That doesn't mean anything!"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Leina hears her say that miserable, and posits something to her, "If you're living in enough fear of that right now under their thumb, is the fear of death while living a life you want really that much worse?"

Punishing them?  What's she doing?  Leina decides not to probe there.

"I know.  I know they seek people out who defect and murder them." As she meets her eyes, "But there are people who got out.  Got out and were never found."

Yuliana stiffens, then grasps her arm, and for a time there's only a small amount of tension.  Yuliana is very unpredictable, she's much stronger than her, and in this range she's lost almost all of her advantages in this moment.

"She would - you just have to make an effort to become someone she'd be proud of.  That's not something impossible..."

It's painful...  but then she remarks on how she's their enemy.  How if she were a Cyber Newtype, then everything she's done must be unforgivable, "Why do we have to be enemies?  I told you I want to be your friend - it's just, you keep doing things that prevent it."

There's a lengthy pause, as she processes even how to DEAL with this, "No matter what you are Yuliana...  even if you are 'the answer' - it's still harm.  It's still wrong.  If some part of you is worried that these things are unforgivable, then that means some part of you wants to change.  To be someone not causing this harm to others."

Leina doesn't raise her voice, its far too gentle in these moments, "Unforgivable is a lie we tell ourselves - because we think it's always something that must come from others.  Forgiveness is the gift we can give ourselves, once we've moved on from being who we were before."

Leina doesn't even dwell upon her hypocrisy in this moment, in not forgiving herself, but then again she doesn't think she's someone who's changed...

...  from the girl who accused Elpeo of being a weapon only meant to kill, as a Cyber Newtype.  From the girl who was willing to let so many old horrible old fossils die to save her life, and the life of her brother.

Leina again takes her time to think about it because, "...  It sounds like that what they're doing, what they're saying, all of it is dishonest because they're trying to manipulate you towards an outcome they want."

Leina finally offers, "You may be unique, but these places like the one that made you what you are aren't.  They all work in two ways.  Conditioning by machines - or by manipulation."

When she says she'd start to talk with Elisa, and Leina stiffens herself for a time, because...  because she feels herself dizzying with the implications of their relationship, rendered topsy turvy by the contradictions in Yuliana's thought process.

The EXAM system.  Horrible.  Good lord, what did Flanagan do to Alma?

Eventually she settles on a response, "But you also said she does good things for you.  A lot of good things.  And I think you know she's the kind of person who would do these things for other people - when not under this kind of control."

There's a pleading look in her eyes as she asks her, as she makes her appeal, "...  Please.  After I'm gone - I wouldn't be able to look my little sister in the eye, if I didn't do something to help her mother."

Before she then adds more quietly, "And to help you."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        People got out -- and Yuliana never found them? "There... are cold cases..." She concedes, and cedes too much, all falling apart in her grief.

        She just isn't being as careful as she should be, with her Republic's secrets, since the new year.

        Maybe that's why she doesn't notice the faintest echo, at the back of her ear.

        It's not impossible, Leina goes on, but Yuliana's reflexive response to shake her head. "It's not ''my'' fault!" She says, sharp on her lips, and -- it's difficult to tell just what Yuliana is ever thinking, if she's ''ever'' sincere, but as they fall from her lips it seems to all the world like she believes them.

        She doesn't do much to fill the empty space, though neither, strictly speaking, does she let ''go'' of Leina in the silence. It would be easy to push her away. It isn't easy to push her away at all.

        And when Leina does find the words, Yuliana just shakes her head, lips pulled over one too many teeth. "No... no, no..!" High to whining, her denials are undercut by the unsteadiness of her breath, the way her words hitch and slice on tears. "How can someone like me move on?! I've done too much to double back, now!" This damnable Newtype..!

        Her voice is a whisper, all choked out: "... I let them do it because I wanted to change the world. I wanted to make it better... I don't expect someone like you to believe me, but, I really..!" She gulps, and gulps down her explanation, lips twisting from the bitterness.

        Is it dishonest? No, it is deceitful. Elisa sees it, too. Yuliana processes that, and so she can't offer any denials to her offering.

        Her teary eyes do crack open, though, with all the weariness of someone who more than enough experience. "Only two?" She asides, in brief. The methods they use... Yuliana employs so much of what was employed on her. The REA does what it does because it ''works.'' ... even knowing it works, she can't escape so easily.

        It at least means she's still ''looking'' at Leina, as she tries to appeal to her. Yuliana frowns, lips pressing firmly together, and for a moment she looks like she might just dismiss her out of hand --

        But her eyes widen, at that last missive, and she looks away. "You..." Her voice trembles, and she is angry, but she is not just angry. "I don't... understand you, at all..! I..." Her hand releases Leina's arm, finally, so she can bury her head in it instead. She leans forward; she chokes out a sob.

        "I," a single sound, hitting a brick wall, as her fingers tighten painfully into her skin. "I," and the word halts to nothing, choked out by bile and the tightness of her throat.

        Leina is a Newtype. Leina saw the emptiness in the hearts of men. Leina is her enemy. Leina doesn't ''want'' to be her enemy. Her thoughts protest, clashing together, until she remembers another voice:

        'If she wishes to aid you, then why not let her? Her reasons do not much matter.'

        "i need, help," she chokes through all her blockades, all lowercase, scarcely able to lift her head. "h...help. help..."

        She sobs, openly, and if anyone ''is'' in this establishment, they surely know not to approach this particular booth by now. "I didn't!" She yelps, with more volume, doubled over into herself. "I wouldn't..!" And who is she trying to convince?

        Give her a moment. Even if there are more types of conditioning in the world, she's clearly been through a few of them.

        Eventually her sobbing slows to the point that she remembers what to do -- grabbing a bottle of pills from her pocket, shaking them into her palm, swallowing them dry. Gulp. The trembling in her hands does slow a little, once she's put it back. It's psychological as much as pharmaceutical, at this stage.

        She catches a glimpse of her watch as she's handling that bottle, though, and there's sharp recognition in her eyes.

        "Listen... listen, I..." Yuliana starts, rubbing at her arm. "I have to check in with Elisa, anyway... so, I'll... ask about it. I'll ask about it right now, all right? Will that ''satisfy'' you?" She issues the question with some venom, though it's complicated by the way she clutches her opposite arm, averting her gaze again. "Is that... okay?"

        As if Leina's approval matters.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Leina doesn't say anything to drive the point home that there are cold cases, Yuliana admitting it is enough on its own.  It may be a secret of the Republic, to her it's simply fact.  After all...  Athrusa is still out there.

For now though as she tells her sharply it's not her fault, Leina startles, then her green eyes soften somewhat, as if seeing an outburst from a child.  She doesn't tread on this dangerous ground, as she's been subject to tantrums.

Yuliana becomes high to whining in her denial of the idea that she can change. "...  I don't know the answer to that." She says with a soft touch of her thumb, a soft pressure, the feel of her warm breath passing beside it.

"Some days I still see the little girl that belongs to him in the mirror.  Others I find that the things he taught me to be far too easy, even if they're not right.  It's a struggle, to wake up every morning and choose to try to be different - to be better...  but I think it's worth it."

And in that moment perhaps she spells it out, the gift of forgiveness is one she hasn't even given to herself.  She doesn't think of herself as a good person, she just tries to be.

"Yuliana..." Leina leans forward, and touches her forehead lightly against hers, just a soft touch, given the scarf. "...  I do, I do believe you.  And it's not your fault that they twisted that desire around.  That they did these things to you."

A beat.

"That they hurt you.  The things you suffered when you were young, they hurt you so deeply..." A pause, and then more softly, "...  and they took advantage of that hurt, and that hope for the world to be better."

It's easy enough to make her all a victim in her mind, simplicity itself.  It's a struggle to remind herself the culpability, of someone who tried to hurt her loved ones, of someone who chooses actively to do wrong - despite the pain.

For now, she is the victim.

The forehead raises, and Yuliana looks away, releasing her arm, so she can bury herself in it instead, and in this moment, Leina lightly rubs her back. It's so cruel.  Cruel that they took away Yuliana's ability to understand her - to know anyone and everyone in her life.

"...  It's okay if you don't, even if I wish you could." She promises. "Just know that I think you deserve...  better than a life of being in the hands of people who think of you only as their weapon, who mix you up like this and hurt you."

She continues that slow motion of comforting her as she says 'I need, help.' "Please.  Tell me how I can." She looses her just long enough for her to grab the bottle of pills and Leina remembers the last time she was in this state, needing to do the same thing.

"This pocket right?" Leina asks in the aftermath, with just a small gesture towards it, "If this happens again while I'm able to, I'll help."

Still though, in the aftermath, Yuliana tells her to listen, and she's quiet.  Tells her she has to check in, and Leina blinks her eyes.  So much is implied in this, but...  asking if that will satisfy you.

Is that...  okay?

"It will for now, for today, the attempt." Leina cautiously sets limits, wary of committing to something she might be called upon for as a liar later, "Please."

She knows that tonight it might be different.  Sometimes in dreams, she comes to her.  And she has no idea what she'll say to her if Alma is still in her custody.

She has no idea, and it hurts.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Choosing... to be different? Yuliana looks at Leina, for a long, pained moment, and the struggle in her eyes is silent.

        She tilts her forehead against Leina's, for that moment, and hungrily takes in the recognition of that pain. As existentially horrifying as it is to be seen as someone ''used,'' that someone recognises how hard it is for her is difficult for her to deny. (How hard it is for ''her.'')

        She deserves... better... they're words which help Yuliana find hers, but when she asks ''how'' she can help, Yuliana just looks up at her with wide and wounded eyes. Her breath comes shallow over her lips, all choked out and spluttering, and she should tell her, she should --

        "Mm," Yuliana chokes out something like assent, when she puts the pill botle back. It is that pocket. "Mm-hmm." She said she'll help. She'll help...

        She's at least more collected when she decides, "... fine." She could have argued with Leina about asking too much; she doesn't. Perhaps she's still rattled.

        Yuliana pulls a handkerchief from another pocket. "A word of warning... your ceaseless moralising will not sway my ''wife.''" Yuliana scrubs at her face with that cloth, in some vain effort to make herself presentable. "You will not protest the arguments I make, though you'll surely loathe them, if you wish to gain anything at all."

        OST - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEx_6bmhVow Veruca Salt - Number One Blind

        Slipping her phone from her pocket, Yuliana holds it in front of her; Elisa's number, listed under 'Elya', is foremost in her recent contacts list. (Below it are contacts listed as 'Lettu', 'Letda', 'Rusalka,' and 'Kadet'.)

        It's a video call, naturally; Elisa was subtle about her preferences, but Yuliana picked them up, anyway. Yuliana, in frame, has clearly been crying recently, though she's cleaned herself up -- seated in a Tapas bar which looks rather empty, though there's a young woman beside her.

        "''Sputnica zhizni,''" Yuliana greets her lifelong companion, and instantly she is comforted, speaking to her. A smile blooms over her face, softly, and her tone is so much softer just the same. "It's me."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Perhaps it is inevitable that all this talk of 'choice' for Yuliana would summon Elisa.  The Kafims, after all, are extremely close.  Perhaps not.  After all, they did call her.  Yuliana did call her.

"Darling," Elisa reports immediately as she appears on the video.  She is in black, at the moment, though only her face and some of her neck and shoulders are visible here for the moment.  She smiles, and it is almost like something that is warm, because it is Yuliana.  However, her eyes trail to Leina for a moment, and then back to Yuliana again.

"Hmmm," she says.  "You seem in distress..."

"Do tell me if something is wrong," she says first, and eyes Leina suspiciously.  But her smile returns after a moment, as she instead says, "But there is that wonderful smile.  Won't you tell me what brings your friend to talk to me?"

This could be dangerous!  But it's probably fine.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Leina marks that pocket.

"Alright." Leina says of how her ceaseless moralising won't sway her wife. "I understand."

Yuliana then pulls out her phone for a video call, as Leina shifts to get a look in view.  Her eyes checking for green jewelry.

Leina only greets her politely, "It's good to see you again Doctor Kafim, I hope you enjoyed the films we sent you for your wedding."

And after that?  She falls quiet.  It wasn't a question directed her way after all, if Yuliana asks her to take over in explanation though, she will.

However, she understands quite well that Elisa Kafim is dangerous and that she needs to tread VERY lightly here.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Yuliana's head tilts, expression gentling a little further, as she hears Elisa's concern. (Surely she is concerned.) Her smile spreads a little wider, just the same, to hear Elisa praise it. "I'm all right," she assures her, gentled. "I just got a little emotional earlier... but I'm in no danger. I'm just here with Leina Ashta -- do you remember her, from the wedding? Little Leyasha?" It's a Russian diminutive; surely Elisa is used to comprehending them, by now.

        The films were wonderful. Or, at least, they were an excuse to curl up with Elisa for several straight hours. So, wonderful!

        "I took care of that girl I was talking about earlier," wasn't she on a vacation? Well, Yuliana isn't going to lie to her ''wife.'' "But I happened to run into Leina here, so I haven't yet left Barcelona. She wished to offer me help. Isn't that nice?" Yuliana glances to Leina, in brief acknowledgement, before she returns her attention to her darkened wife. "I'll be going back soon... I have nothing more to handle today, so once the paperwork's done I'll take that woman you gave me and go home, I suppose." She reports on herself so ''naturally,'' as if this were something she does all the time.

        Well, because it is. Particularly recently. Poor Elisa was so worried! (Surely, she was worried.)

        "Though..." Yuliana starts, trailing off, for a delicate moment. "Speaking of that creature, ''zhenushka...'' I think I was a little rough with her! Even this quickly, she's already breaking. It's getting rather tiresome," Yuliana sighs, with no sympathy at all. "But Leina here still ''wants'' my broken things, so I thought it would cost us little to grant her such a thing. Since I can use her to speak to Ritechka again... and it's an insignificant offering, all told. We have already learned what we need from that doll's subjugation, haven't we?"

        Anxiety threads through her voice and her eyes, subtly, as she presses: "... what do you think?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

"Ah!" Elisa looks to Leina.  "Yes, we rather did.  Thank you for that."  It seems that it took her a moment to recognize Leina, but now she appears to, from the way her eyes focus.  Then they focus on Yuliana, and the tension in her frame visibly relaxes as Yuliana clarifies that she is in no danger, merely emotional.  It is not ''gone'', but it is certainly reduced.  "Yes," Elisa reacts.  "I remember her."

Hmm, that girl.. Unimportant, but a touchstone of the moment.  But Leina... Yes.  "Yes," Elisa says, "That is nice."

Elisa nods to the report.  She was very worried!  But that creature... Elisa is thoughtful, at Yuliana's explanations.  Her expression does not immediately change otherwise.  Already...

"To speak to your friend," she considers.  "I see..."

"I see that you are worried about it," Elisa says.  "It would be difficult to lose your caretaker, would it not?"  A smile to Leina.  "You could help us find a new one, if you wanted her, of course.  Though... There is one difficulty," she admits.

"In order to release her with all she knows... Well, she'd have to cease knowing a great deal, for me to allow her out from your service.  The process might not be... pleasant, for her."

"Wouldn't it be easier to continue as you are?  I'm not sure Miss Ashta realizes the difficulty of what she asks."

"On the other hand, if she breaks so soon..."  Hmmm.  Elisa at least seems to give it some thought.  "Miss Ashta," Elisa addresses, looking to Leina.  "You have someone else in mind for the position?  Good help is terribly hard to find.  And it ''is'' rather an inconvenience.  But if it would make my Yuliana happy, I will of course consider it.  Provided that we can make suitable arrangements for her care."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

"You're very welcome." She answers her politely, with a smile, even as Leina is introduced in the diminutive, as Elisa's tension is reduced upon being reassured - upon being introduced.

'I took care of that girl I was talking about earlier,'

Leina tries hard not to flinch, it's especially hard right now, the headache of her withdrawal from the wider world is pounding so hard...

Still, she lets Yuliana speak.   To make her argument.  She hates that argument.  She hates all the implications of it.

''It's so horrible''.

But it grants her greater insight into who Doctor Kafim is, and what kind of relationship she has with Yuliana.  Even without Newtype senses, she can tell she's ANXIOUS about her response.

It's that kind of power dynamic.

Elisa offers for them to find a new one, and her skin crawls.  She offers the disclaimer that to release her, she'd have to cease knowing a great deal, and that it'd be less than pleasant for her.

Wouldn't it be easy to continue as you are? Leina feels her insides grow cold, as she realizes that she's being asked to make a sacrifice for Alma's sake.

And part of her falls into a side of herself she hates.  A side that Glemy Toto cultivated for becoming a part of Neo-Zeon high society.

She isn't dealing with someone she can make an emotional appeal to now - she realizes that.

Leina looks momentarily thoughtful, "...  Well when you put it that way, I wouldn't want excessive harm to come to Alma.  You'd have to elaborate a touch on how much she'd forget, and how unpleasant it would be?  ...  I do very much want her returned safely but given how damaged Yuliana has told me she is, I'd be worried about her returning to me in any condition at all."

Then there's a pause, and she finds herself hating herself, hating herself at how easy this is...  simplicity itself.

"As for her replacement, I can think of a suitable one." For all the moralizing Leina has done, in this moment it may be surprising...

"I've seen her in Major Vinh Pham's company and it's obvious he neither thinks well of her, nor treats her well.  It's upsetting to be frank.  I think however he's not without redeeming qualities, if he simply became more focused on providing the care a superior officer ought to - to someone under his command, then I think he is in fact, more than qualified."

She notes, as she taps a finger to her chin, eyes wandering to the side, "And I think it would raise fewer questions than the current situation.  A man of his position in the REA visiting a subordinate's home - as compared to a subordinate living with their superior.  Would there be rumors?  Certainly, but it would draw less attention in the long run."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        The girl was Evgenia Feofilovna Vasilev, and she was studying business with an enthusiastic and distinction-ridden minor in modern world history. She was an eager participant in her university's equestrian club, and had even just started dating. Though she was clearly struggling with her burdens, she had a bright future ahead of her; what a pity her health would take a sudden turn for the worst. The newspapers will probably mention mental health resources at the end of the article about her suicide, alongside lobbying groups seeking to restrict the legal amounts of medication one may hold at home in order to prevent this tragedy happening again.

        And she's utterly unimportant. Neither Yuliana nor Elisa dwell on her, or the fact that Leina was talking like this with someone who just killed someone and didn't even think to mention it.

        But Elisa sees Yuliana's worry -- she is worried -- and she supposes it ''is'' difficult, too, what she's asking. "Ah... it would be easier," she agrees, easily, though there's a hint of hesitation on her lips which suggests that she still has reservations.

        It's a horrible argument, but Yuliana ''did'' choose one she thought would work. She'd help Leina that much.

        She looks to Leina, though, as Elisa directs a question to her. Yuliana expects her to make a fool of herself -- what she doesn't expect is what Leina ''actually'' does. "That man?!" Yuliana exclaims, in open shock. "But he's--!!" Awful, she wants to say, but she looks a shade ill and says nothing at all.

        "Gh..." Yuliana frowns, looking away, before she returns all her attention to Elisa. "I don't know... can you fix him? I... I suppose you might have already started, since he's been rather less cruel since I disappeared..." Give her some shred of credit: she isn't dismissing Leina's brutality out of hand. But she doesn't look very happy with the idea, either.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

It would be a good sign, if Elisa showed any care at all besides not even a blink at what Yuliana did.  But she doesn't, and it isn't.  It's just another of her wife's missions at work...

She smiles at Yuliana, when she says it would be easier.  It even looks sincere.  But she has reservations, Elisa notices, and so she looks to Leina again, considering.  What she has to say... Well, first--

"Yes," Elisa says.  "It would be difficult.  I have given her gifts, and removing them is not easy.  She may... miss them.  In addition, to alter the memory of a being is... invasive.  More difficult than other things.  It is possible that I would be ''unable'' to return her to you in a fit state."

But the Major...

Elisa is surprised by this offer.  It shows, if barely; her eyebrows lift.  Her lips part.  And then she smiles.  "My," she says.  "How very refreshing!"

She looks to Yuliana again, at her 'buts'.  "I don't know that my Yuliana would like that, though."  She pauses.  "I did have a 'talk' with him," she says.  "That he is less cruel is well.  But I did not do as much as I would have liked.  I would have to be rather firmer with him to trust him caring for you at home, my darling.  I am not certain that you want that.  I have so tried to ensure that you can continue your work, since you treasure it so..."

"However," Elisa says, "It is well that you have offered an alternative.  In return for your steadfast care of my Yuliana, I will consider your request.  I can make no promises at this time, but I will consider it."

"I will give you my number, so that we can talk more about this... and perhaps other things.  And what I can promise is that I will concern myself with the woman's safety while I consider."

"I will do so, if that is a deal you are willing to make, Miss Ashta."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

The headline will be upsetting, but it will be one that she will mark down.  And while she won't act upon it immediately...

...  it will give birth to a fledgling idea.

Elisa mentions that her gifts are difficult to remove, that she may miss them.  Leina doesn't mention she's felt them here.  She's - worried, since Yuliana mentioned she didn't tell Alma to do that.

"I see.  Something for me to think about then."

Elisa seems delighted by her answer, however it's obvious Yuliana doesn't like her suggestion, however she does answer, with an air of sympathy to her, "He's horrible to you.  And I'd rather wish him to stop." And as Elisa mentions that he did have a 'talk' with him, she seems to understand implicitly what it means.  She waits for her to finish, and she then notes to Elisa, "There could be other alternatives, Doctors at the Institute.  Whomever performs the most painful procedures."

She somehow retains that smile, "I'm sure you could arrange it so there's a long term study they're conducting, that would require them to live with you in close quarters.  In fact, many painful experiments would have to cease for this particular study, since it would on the long term benefits of a less - stressful, living situation on Yuliana's welfare."

Elisa tells her she will entertain her request, making no promises, and to that Leina doesn't argue or push back, instead telling her, "Thank you very much, I appreciate your consideration.  And I'll happily speak with you." She says, in order to make certain it's understood she's taking the deal, "I'll give you my number as well so that you can inform me when you're able to spare some time for that particular discussion."

There is a time for impudence, indignation, and there is a time for survival, and playing the game.  She despises that she's able to choose the latter so easily...

...  but in the case of Elisa Kafim, it's perhaps all that's keeping her alive and of sound mind.

"In fact, I'm very much looking forward to it."

Out of an abundance of caution though?  The number she gives Elisa is that of a burner phone she keeps with her, but she does note down her contact info in her primary phone - just in case.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Yes," Yuliana agrees, when Elisa talks about the problems with freeing Alma. "I don't recall you ''ever'' altering anyone's memory, darling," of course she wouldn't, "so I suppose it must be challenging, even with your vast power."

        Elisa is impressed by Leina's viciousness, just the same -- they ''are'' married -- but she notices Yuliana's reservations, and Yuliana nods, in silent assent.

        Of course -- Elisa tries so much to respect Yuliana's wishes, so naturally she hasn't been able to subjugate him fully. Yuliana gets so ''upset,'' after all. "Yes. My work..." And there is a strange sort of reluctance to her ''here,'' too, as Leina's words ring in her head. (Alongside Elisa's. Always, they are there.)

        Yuliana looks a little ill, again, as Leina proposes that. "Of course, they'd deserve it... but... seeing them, every day... I doubt they'd last too long. Besides," she adds, smiling to her phone, "my dearest Dr. Kafim has already ensured those procedures were indefinitely postponed. A matter of professional communication." She's talking to Leina, but she's not ''looking'' at Leina, with that doe-eyed affection.

        "She saved me," Yuliana adds, softly, "when no one else would."

        But Leina accepts Elisa's terms, and Yuliana glances to her -- supposes she ''ought'' to give some assurance of her own -- before her attention returns to Elisa. (Her whole face lights up, whenever she looks to her.) "If you're concerned with her safety, should I handle her more gently?" She confirms, seeks confirmation, has always sought confirmation.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Something to think about, indeed.  Elisa smiles at Yuliana, though.  "It is, darling."  She agrees easily, amiably about having vast power, of course.  Because obviousy she does.  That much is clear.

Yuliana's work.  Elisa notices that reluctance.  She looks between Leina and Yuliana, thoughtfully.  Then she moves on.

"...My Yuliana is correct," Elisa says.  "I have already seen to these things... and sown the seeds of that doctor's fate."  Dr. Devi.  The worst of them.  Yes... She will get what is deserved.

"I will always save you, Yuliana.  Always."

Then she smiles at Leina. "Good," she says.  "Then we shall speak soon.  After all, matters of Yuliana's care are my top priority."  A pause.  "Yes, please ensure that her life is in no danger.  She cannot help you if she is dead, and she is dear to our friend."

She doesn't actually answer in detail about the Institute scientists--not yet.  Not for now.  But she does notice.  She appreciates Leina's ruthlessness.

"I love you, my darling," she says to Yuliana.  "I will see you soon.  And good day, Miss Ashta."

The call ends, after a chance for Yuliana to reply.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

Leina learns something about the extent of Elisa's powers.  Altering memory is apparently difficult, however it seems one can alter how one emotionally reacts to memories, given how full of hatred Alma was for Lilith.

Despite the throbbing ebb of the migraine she's suffering, she tries to focus in on Yuliana, and gives her a look of distinct sympathy, "If it'd be too much, then of course I wouldn't want you to suffer them living with you...  but then I'd also just want them out of your life altogether."

Yuliana clarifies then that she has, and- "Ah!" Sown the seeds of that doctor's fate. "I see." While that thought disturbs her a touch, what fate she means but...

"I'm glad that you were there for her."

And there's even sincerity in her voice, because she doesn't quite know yet what the extent of what they're dealing with is yet.  It is better to treat her as an extremely powerful woman, in love with Yuliana...

"Have a pleasant day, Doctor Kafim."

Leina says once it's finished, then once the phone call drops, Leina puts an arm around Yuliana again, and despite the moment, murmurs, "Thank you.  I know that wasn't easy for you.  I appreciate you trying."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Out of my life..." Yuliana echoes Leina, but it's a delicate, gossamer statement, fragile as spun glass.

        Something for Elisa to press on later, perhaps. Leina has evidently assisted in making some progress with her.

        Still, that doctor's fate... Yuliana wonders about it, for a moment, but her inquisitiveness is quickly supplanted by a docile, loving expression. "Oh, Elya," she murmurs, and she is captivated, captive of her love, always and without escape.

        That Leina sees the wonder of Elisa's love is a point in her favour.

        "Anything, for you," she volunteers to Elisa's request, so, so easily. "I will endeavour to moderate my temper and her assignments... you're right, after all." One may get the impression that Elisa is ''always'' right, after all.

        "I love you, my dearest," Yuliana smiles, to her, in turn. "Yes... very soon. I want to see you." Want and will are very different sentences. Anyway. "I'll let you know when I'm back in Sri Lanka," she assures her, and her smile at least isn't just ''like'' warmth. "Until then!"

        The call ends, and Yuliana slips her phone into her pocket, still smiling, still comforted. She's a little surprised when ''Leina'' chooses to hug her with an arm, though, looking up to her with a rapid blink. "I would have thought you'd damn me for the effort," she remarks, as if she's just remembered Leina is still here and they were still talking.

        "But even hearing what you did, you remained polite. I... appreciate your discretion, though I suppose it comes from that wretched Zeon. My wife would not have forgiven you if you grew angry with me. She is ''very'' protective." Yuliana doesn't seem bothered by that, though; indeed, she smiles as if it's a ''good'' thing.

        "We have given you much. My Elisa has been quite generous, allowing you such an audience... and I will honour her request." Here, she frowns, a hand rubbing at her opposite wrist. A shade insistent: "This must be enough, Leina. There is only so much I can give someone like you, even... given the underlying circumstances of my feelings."

        She means the way her hatred of people like Leina was engineered by the REA. That's what she's talking about.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

It's a fascinating experience to watch the two.  It's clear they're in love.  However it's clear that the mere thought of pushing back against Elisa makes her anxious.  It's...  uncomfortable.

There's a lot going on there, and she's seen only a glimpse of it.  How should she even perceive this relationship with the dynamics going on of things beyond this reality?

How far is viewing it with a human lens valid?

Thoroughly wound up and confused, despite holding her ground, Leina waits for the call to end.  Then...

A soft sigh, "...  Even if I'm loathe to admit it...  I was Glemy Toto's best student." There's a soft sigh, and it's clear she's not proud of that fact, "They were not lessons I ever wanted, but it is a side of me that exists, like it or not."

Leina says as she looks Yuliana's way, "You made it clear your wife would not respond to moral appeals, and - it's similarly just as clear that an emotional appeal from someone she does not know well would fail."

Is it really fine to analyze the situation like this and spell it out to her? "So I chose to discuss terms in a way she would respect...  and would show respect for her position in your life."

Pause.

"I understand." When it comes to her seeing her angry with Yuliana, "I cannot promise I will never be angry with you again, but I can try to show discretion in her presence."

Leina smiles at her for a moment, and tells her, "Thank you for honoring that request.  And I did say it was didn't I?" Leina tells her, "It's enough for today."

However, she decides to just tell her, "Do you remember how I told you that Rita comes to me in dreams, Yuliana?" Leina asks, just confirming that, before indicating, "So too does my little sister."

She shares with her, "Tonight if she comes I'll be able to tell her that her mother is safe for now.  That I'm treating with your wife for her freedom."

A beat.

"But if this doesn't end in her mother's freedom, I can't lie to her.  She will know." Leina tells her with a sense of her green eyes, "And then it wouldn't be enough any longer."

Before Yuliana can respond on that being unreasonable, she preempts it with a simple question, "If it were your family, would it be enough for you?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Yuliana gets confused a lot, but it's okay. Elisa always knows what's going on.

        Elisa is always there for her.

        "It served you well," Yuliana affirms, about her lessons from Zeon. "We were... impressed at your resolution. It was untenable, of course, but still unexpected." This much, it seems, is fine; though Yuliana is clearly devoted to her wife, she evidently doesn't consider the arguments which Elisa wouldn't understand a criticism of her.

        (That would involve thinking Elisa is ''wrong.'' Elisa's position in Yuliana's life is encompassing.)

        "That is enough," Yuliana supposes, of Leina's anger. "I just ask you keep it from her gaze. She cares so ''much'' for my welfare... it would trouble her. And I doubt even I could protect you, then." Her hand clasps at her heart, and she adds, softly: "She cannot stand the way this world hates me. I could not ask for a more faithful defender..."

        There, again, the gentleness Yuliana never shows to the world. But... she sounds so sure the world ''hates'' her, delivers it as a plain and obvious fact.

        She frowns, though, as Leina moves on to Elpeo. "She --" Yuliana begins to snap, before she's pre-empted. Her frown deepens. "There is no one powerful enough to do such a thing to my Elisa," she insists.

        (Yuliana has parents. Leina may have even met them, at the wedding. She doesn't mention them at all.)

        "I do not fear the dead." It would be deeply inconvenient if she ''did,'' given the blacker parts of her operation. "What is or is not enough to ghosts is of no consequence to me." She scowls, looking away. "After all, I know very well they can't come back to haunt me. They ran those experiments, back when they hoped to have me use the EXAM System to make up for my... differences. Even repeating the results, there was no change from grasping a Cyber-Newtype to grasping a corpse." She grows distant, as she relates the details.

        "Nothing I could see."

        And she sees so much of nothing.

        "Now, if it isn't enough for ''you...''" Yuliana pauses, and shakes her head, with a deep sigh. "Personally, I have no strong feelings whether I torment her further or release her now. I wished to destroy everything Lilith loved -- but frankly, I already have. I am being too honest, to say this, but I have always been a supremely impulsive person. I do what I want, and think little of the consequences. But my Elisa cares very much about fulfilling my desires... what comes from them, I leave to her. Ah, I'm so high-maintenance..."

        That Yuliana didn't think through subjugating Alma like this -- that it was such a ''thoughtless'' anger -- may not be any better than meticulously planning the whole thing.

        Given a moment to be dreamy about it, her attention falls back to Leina. "But I've never liked playing with dolls for long," she admits, a hair softer. "I hate people who can't think for themselves. I was fine taking care of myself..." She blinks, a hair surprised at her own petulant complaint, and looks away again. "But -- but Elisa worries so much about me when I'm away, you know. And I can't very well trust someone who might hurt me. So this is the only way, really."

        Yuliana tells herself that an awful lot, doesn't she?


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
<poem>

It does, serve her well.  She hates that it serves her well.

...  but she didn't actually hesitate to call on those lessons whenever they're needed.

For a time she doesn't respond on the anger being kept from her sight, but, "...  I understand why she would.  I think, I hate more that the world did this to you...  is still doing this to you."

It is a difficult distinction to make, however in Leina's eyes she hates the disgusting people who uphold systems that created Yuliana, who use her.  Whereas Elisa hates the way this reality regards her - if she's hearing Yuliana correctly.

"Just know...  I want to change this wretched world, so that places like the one that created you don't exist, and that people who would do these things are punished."

Yuliana near snaps, and - she listens to her about the EXAM system, and again there's a flinch.

The wretched REA actually revived it!?  God-damnit.

Leina wonders sadly, distantly WHO was put in the system for Yuliana.

"You don't have to fear her, nor does Elisa." Leina has trouble keeping her voice calm, "I wasn't suggesting that was the case.  I have made certain promises to her, and I intend to keep them."

Leina however does nod to her evaluation on not having strong enough feelings, that she wanted to destroy everything Lilith loved-

Despite how horrible this conversation is right now, she can't keep a thin smile off her face when Yuliana calls herself high-maintenance.

...  Leina agrees.

"So it sounds like then, that you should find someone who can think for themselves, and would like to be your caretaker." Leina suggests with all due sincerity, "I understand why she would be concerned, but if you found the right person, then wouldn't her worry be kept to a minimum?"

This is perhaps manipulation in a sense, but...  she's trying to keep it low key, for Alma's sake.  Whatever the case, she needs to get her out of this situation.

Leina's phone pings and-

"Oh for the love of-"

The latest headlines from a gossip rag state that the Yumi Foundation has accepted Dr. Hell's apology, and his donation after some late night negotiations.

Leina looks at Yuliana and holds it up as she asks, "My apologies, do you mind if I go deal with this?  We've done ''neither''."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Hmm?" Yuliana wonders, looking over to Leina when she talks about wanting to change the world. "You and me both."

        She said she wanted to make the world better.

        How would Yuliana make the world better?

        She could tell Leina just who she killed, if she asked; she does not. "Weren't you?" She asks, with more suspicion, when Leina denies the dangers of that ghost. "Oh, very well." She's rather agreeable, having taken her medication.

        That's handy.

        Yuliana at least seems to ''consider'' the idea Leina poses. "If I could stay with her..." She supposes, and frowns, lips pursing. "... but the Republic would never --"

        Ping!

        She looks over, to Leina's phone. "Oh -- of course," she waves Leina off, without argument. "Go, see to your messaging." A beat of a pause, and she deigns to add: "I suppose it's unpleasant for you to stand by me too long, just the same."

        (Yuliana has said a lot of unguarded things today, some of which might even be ''sympathetic'' -- but here, at least, she's hit her stride again. Acknowledging Leina's own struggle inside her hellish aura is entirely deliberate. She is 'thinking of her'.)

        "I'll wrap things up here," she assures Leina.

        She means she's going to eat the rest of the calamari. But at least she'll pay for it!

        ...---...

        When she finds her way back to the hotel room the Nega Force hired out to serve as a temporary base, she finds Parminder grinning, from ear to scruffy ear.

        "What are ''you'' so happy about?" Yuliana levels at him, as she looks around to make sure he's packed everything up. (He did.)

        "Heheheheh..."

        "I can and will drop you from this window," Yuliana says, slapping a hand to the wall beside it. (Second storey. Parminder's a Natural, so it would definitely hurt.) "I've had a ''day,'' Letda, so spit it out."

        "Oh, yeah, I know," Parminder grins, all too savage. Yuliana's sceptical glare is met with him tapping the back of his ear. "Your piece was on the whole time. I heard ''ev-er-y-thing.''"

        "It was-- what?!" Yuliana yelps, grabbing behind her ear and unclasping an unobstructive communication device from it. It's small enough to avoid much notice. Parminder has ''lots'' of Intelligence tech on hand. "But I never switched this on!"

        "Yeaaah, see... you never ''do,'' soooo... when we go on missions I just kinda turn yours on before I hand it over," Parminder shrugs. "Got tired of you yelling at us for not bailing you out when you weren't even transmitting your signal."

        "That's a blatant disregard of-- you can't ''do'' that!" Yuliana slams her fist into the wall; it shudders.

        "Can and did," Parminder replies, all too casually, leaning back on the bed. "The way I see it, either we have a lot to talk about, or me and the Major have a lot to talk about. What'll it be?"

        Yuliana glowers at him, before her fist and her shoulders drop, and she stalks back to sit on the other bed again.

        "Fine. Let's talk."

        It's an illuminating conversation.
</poem>