2024-11-17: More
- Log: More
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: A Romantic Cabin in the Kingdom of Scandinavia
- Date: 2024-011-22
- Summary: Yuliana and Elisa go on a log cabin retreat for their anniversary, and share a delicious (if slightly burnt) meal which Yuliana cooked herself. After a few days spending time with each other, they find themselves ready to really talk about what happened... and how it's affecting them. Yuliana learns the truth about her own wife's brainwashing, and comes to peace with it, because they were both being controlled by the Empress. Elisa offers to let Yuliana leave -- but Yuliana doesn't want to go. They re-affirm their dedication to each other, and their determination to stop their vengeful Goddess, once and for all... with the help of their friends, too.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: Dance With The Dead - Her Ghost https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7VwdyEFGCc
When their anniversary came around, so soon after those revelations, Yuliana's demands were relatively modest:
"Let's go find a nice, cosy cottage in the woods... just the two of us, Elya."
And here they've been, vacationing in the most romantic cottage Elisa could secure, deep in the Scandinavian wilderness. The first few days of their trip -- for of course it only begun on their anniversary -- were consumed by their intimacy, with long walks through the woods and treks to a secluded hot spring nearby. She insisted they not begin their anniversary worrying over 'everything'... though she did mention, once, that she could tell the Empress was angry. Since it's really just the two of them, they have no servants to take care of things -- but Yuliana has made an admirable attempt at home-making, even if she's better at critiquing food than cooking it.
The queen-sized bed is in a loft above the cabin; most everything else is in a single room below. The fireplace is fed by wood, which of course they've had to cut themselves -- though no tree is mightier than Elisa. (Yuliana had such stories, for her, about the wanzers they'd use to fell trees and clear fire-trails in her youth.) A couch is positioned in front of the fire, perfectly designed for curling up. A generator outside fuels the freshly-stocked refrigerator and a few other essentials, with a water tank beside it; the dining table is small, carved from hardwood. There are two plates on it, now, with sliced beef and vegetables in a stir-fry. The edges are a little too crispy, but it isn't bad.
Particularly not, perhaps, when Yuliana is feeding a forkful of that dish to her wife personally. "Do you like it?" She asks, because of course she made it for her.
Outside their window, a bird sings a ferocious tune to ward others from her territory; the snow crunches as a herd of deer move through the woods nearby, stripping bark from barren trees. It's cold, out there, though not as cold as home. That just makes the crackle of the fireplace and the scent of burning pine all the cosier, inside.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
A modest demand that Elisa is quite willing to meet, the cottage in the woods. Elisa has grown somewhat fond of the natural beauty of the Earth in her time wandering it, preparing to anchor herself to this planet as she did under the sea and many other places now, in preparation for facing the Empress.
But she would have come anyway, for Yuliana.
Chopping wood was meditative; using her body always is. The logs are cut neatly, precisely as she intended. ...Well, mostly. She got into it eventually.
Elisa has been dressed in ordinary clothes rather than dark robes--well, ordinary for a wealthy woman in a secret cabin in the woods. But not the dark robes, is the point.
"Aaah...!" She is fed! And Elisa smiles after she chews. "Yes," she answers. "It is delicious, my darling."
And it is! Elisa focuses on each aspect of the taste, each bit of texture. And there is a secret, hidden ingredient when one is made food specifically for that one...
"You have truly made this place... ah, the word? Home-y."
"...I think I recall going out to places like this, long ago. It is better with you."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana's something of a rural girl herself, so of course she's right at home, out here. She even saw a running flaw in the generator and fixed it right there, with the parts they had on hand. It's completely normal, as she explains to Elisa, and it might illustrate how she's able to get by so well in their own isolated home.
(And yes, Elisa chopping wood is quite meditative.)
Yuliana, shock and horror, is wearing flannel. It's the best indoor clothing for temperatures like this -- and quite comfy, too. Light and dark green cross each other in fine patterns.
When Elisa smiles, Yuliana all but sparkles, her frills curling in delight as she beams just the same. "That's great!" She chirps, because she'd worried she'd burned the edges, but if Elisa likes it it's surely perfect.
She takes a bite herself -- and she pushes aside what she notices about the flaws, because that doesn't matter if Elisa likes her cooking -- still quite aglow from all her praise. "I've been making quite an effort," she boasts, before scooping up another mouthful. "Here..."
Of course she just keeps feeding her wife. Elisa always seems the most restored when she receives food from her. And once she's given her that, with some moments to eat, she asks: "It's something you did before, too? Oh, Elya, I'm glad you've been remembering. But you're right... it's much better being here with you." She reaches out, with her free hand, to slip her fingers into Elisa's. "I really wanted to take some time to connect with you again... just the two of us."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa was a city girl, she thinks. Reasonably sure.
Elisa was pleased with Yuliana's efforts with the generator. And she likes the flannel, she thinks. It is soft, and keeps Yuliana warm. Elisa is not dressed so warmly, but then, she doesn't especially need to be. Her boots are sturdy, though.
"You have," Elisa has noticed. "It is appreciated. You are appreciated. Aah..." She takes another mouthful. She does indeed feel more restored for it. Perhaps there's something to the method of old sacrifices, lavishly given to the gods...
But, "I believe so. ...Largely with people who no longer matter outside of family," she admits, "But since I can come with you instead, it is all the better."
She curls her fingers about Yuliana's. "...I believe that we are... 'connecting', yes. It is..."
She looks up to the ceiling. "...It is different, than it was. This is not bad. But it is so."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And it's a sacrifice Yuliana gladly makes -- perhaps all the more powerful for the fact that she's made it, out here. She isn't only giving up food she could eat herself, but food she made herself.
"You had those connections," Yuliana says, "before She severed them from you. It's really quite unfair... but we are here, now." She squeezes her wife's hand, as she continues with dinner. A mouthful for herself, too. She's also hungry after a long day in the woods, and Elisa will surely be happy to see her eat, too.
"It... really is a lot," she sighs, finally. "But the most important thing to me is that I love you, zhenushka. That's why I wanted to focus on you, for a few days... oh, you were stunning carving that wood down."
She keeps feeding the both of them; of course they have enough, because she knows how to make enough food to sustain people with the sorts of things they have to do, out here.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Some I would not have kept," she says. "...Old entanglements that are unimportant now. But some... Well, we have restored contact with my parents. Many others are lost to me, for our own actions, but they are important. And you of course are most important."
Elisa is happy to see Yuliana also eat. She is also thoughtful.
"I am gratified to hear this," Elisa says. "I know that... it could be difficult, knowing now more of my origins. Of what I am, and what I have been."
"But I love you, as well. And I could chop more wood, later. It was..."
She reflects on the word. "Fun. I enjoy to work with my hands, as you do."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"As you are foremost in my heart," Yuliana smiles, to her wife. "But I am glad your parents are with us, Elya."
Yuliana takes another bite, herself. "And I love to see you work," she says, with a broad smile. "And to see you enjoy yourself... it's beautiful, Elya. You are so much more than what She demanded of you." It's Elisa, after all, who's her wife.
She offers Elisa another bite, just the same. Aaahhh...
"I've had those same thoughts, though," she admits, with a little droop of her frills. "That the things I did back then... might have changed things. Or how... how none of this would have happened to you if not for how She felt about me. Your whole life changed, Elya, just so She could send you to me... haa, I feel responsible."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Much more than She demanded... Elisa is thoughtful at that. It is easy and true to say that she loves Yuliana. But to see her enjoy herself? "Hmm. To see the rest..."
Elisa takes another bite, and chews thoughtfully. She does not, precisely, require food anymore. But there are things one does for other reasons than requirements.
"Think not of how She manipulated me for your sake," Elisa says. "Think instead how you drew me out of that abyss. If not for you, I would not have rediscovered my 'self'... or forged a 'self' anew."
"I would only have done what was required of me. ...Perhaps, in time, my philosophy would have caused me to desire the Empress's power for myself. Perhaps not. But I would not have been prepared to take it, if not for ties to you, to this world."
"We cannot change the past. She could not, for all Her power. She only created a new future. ...One that will belong to us."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I love you," Yuliana says. "I wished to see you embrace your whole self, not only those parts which were required. I didn't wish for you to be so restricted... as people under control. You know, I heard you saying the same thing Dr. Petrov said, once, about how you must care for me, and... it really frightened me, Elya." She looks down, at their dwindling plate. (Of course they'd share one.) "I didn't want that for you... that's why I started pushing you to find things you liked for yourself."
Munch, munch. She chews, and thinks, and then scoops up another forkful and makes another offering to her wife.
"It... took me a while, too," she admits, after that moment. "When you told me the truth about that... I talked to Shifu about it. He just wanted me to talk about who I really was inside... well, that was hard to answer, too. It's all... very complicated, isn't it? In that time which wasn't, I was manipulating the Empress... then the Empress controlled us, and... you to me. I felt... quite hurt, but... but you told me the truth, Elya." Yuliana squeezes her hand, as she insists: "That matters."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I see..." Elisa thinks back to then. "Yes. It was an impulse as clearly ingrained as any that I have ever implanted. At the time, I did not think on the significance of that. But looking back, I see your difficulty."
It still doesn't make her particularly sorry about Dr. Petrov, of course.
"Once, I might have said that understanding the 'self' is easy. ...But I do not think so any longer."
Very complicated.
"Yes," she says. "It was what was required of me before--to ensure that in all we did, we would make ready to return to the Empress. And so we shall. But not as She wished."
"...Regardless, I understand your difficulty. It has made me think... That perhaps there is more than only 'strength', after all. We have something that makes us stronger, but is not only that."
Elisa curls her fingers under Yuliana's. "...I am... displeased, that I acted with an agenda that was not my own. That I exerted control only because of control exerted on me in turn." A pause. "Regardless, my word I will keep. Even should you leave, I will not force the issue... though I would prefer that you not, of course."
"Similarly..."
"If I should fall in our battle, my request is that you not continue the Empress's dealings as regards another pair of our 'selves'. ...Her hope was vain and foolish; you are not the woman She loved. You are someone She barely came to know."
"Instead, take what power I leave you and make yourself happy. ...Destroy your enemies, if you wish; comfort your 'friends', if you prefer. If it were me... I would destroy those who took you from me, for certain."
"But do not involve another 'Elisa' and 'Yuliana' who are not us. We are above such delusions."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Strength... isn't an island unto itself," Yuliana supposes, slowly. "There's no courage in moving forward when you're not afraid... it's acting despite that fear which makes it what it is. Without those things surrounding it... those things we'd call 'weaknesses'..." She sighs, shaking her head. "And not only those. There are plenty of things -- which are neither weak nor strong -- but without whom that strength is shallow. Like those connections, to the world. To other people."
She squeezes Elisa's hand a little tighter, shaking her head again. "No," she says. "I -- I did think about it. I couldn't not, with how worried people have been. But... just like you said you'd take responsibility for wanting to stop the Empress... I feel I should take responsibility, too. Our lives were shaped by the Empress because of me... I can't simply run away from that. It did... you did hurt me. But we were living under Her will... and She must have made it seem so easy."
She gazes at her wife, as she makes her request. She frowns, more in thought than in disagreement -- and of course the idea of her wife dying is terrible to face. (She doesn't look away, regardless.) "I understand," she says, at length. "And you're right, Elya... She knew me so little, She didn't even care how much She was hurting me. She didn't really know you, either... oh, She treated you terribly, Elya." As nothing more than a shard of Herself!
She smiles, putting her fork down on their empty plate and covering Elisa's hand with both of hers, instead. "I promise," she says, quite serious, "I won't repeat it any more. I won't hurt another pair as She did. They... they really aren't us, are they? That awful woman with my face... who used her wife to escape anything unpleasant. I hate that I resemble her. I don't -- I don't want to be like that," Yuliana insists, her fingers tightening. "I never wanted to end the world."
It's been a conviction of hers which Elisa has had to navigate around... since the start.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Not an island... "Hmm. I do not require 'courage'," she admits, "For I do not often feel fear. But these other things... Weaknesses, and 'neutral' qualities--Kaworu helped me to see them. That they are as surely a part of each of us as our strengths. And thus, something to value, for you."
A pause. She thought about it. Yes... "Hmmm... I see. Yes. She did. It was indeed quite easy--the difficulty was not in the control, but in retaining a light enough touch to not harm you in the doing. Whether or not it makes you feel better, I did not do so often for that reason; when I told you I was not, it was true. ...It is simply also true that I have, at points."
But that request of hers--Yuliana doesn't look away. "...Good," she says. "Of course, I have no intention of falling."
She did treat her terribly. But Elisa hears Yuliana's promise, and smiles. "Good," she says. "...It is not that I object to hurting those who stand in our way. But we should be greater than that form of harm." She stops, and then nods. "...Yes. You never did. It was inconvenient to me for a time..."
"But the need to destroy this world to claim our own was always a false truth."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Kaworu has been a fine friend," Yuliana smiles, to her wife. "And I am glad you would value them."
Her frill wilts, a little, hearing Elisa's methodology; she listens, anyway. "I'm... glad you took such care with it," she says, though her words are downcast. "I saw what happened -- when you weren't so careful. I don't really know if it did anything to me... mm, maybe I changed, a little." How much of her shift, after meeting Elisa, was...
She pauses, going quiet, for a moment. "I believe you when you say you weren't doing it when I asked you," she says, and her words are exact, too. "But... when did you? And... why?"
Yuliana is relieved, though, to hear Elisa assure her she'll try to survive. "I don't mean to fall, either," she says, from her position in far more precarious mortality. "Though the Empress rages so loudly, I can hear Her through the deafening barrier of the Liminal Lattice. Her desire to end it all... is only Her own black rage, forced upon us."
She squeezes Elisa's hand, again. "You're right," she agrees. "It's a false truth."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I do. And he has."
A pause. Downcast words; Elisa can even understand why, and lowers her attention to focus more fully on Yuliana. "...I do not think I altered your nature," she suggests. "But behavior, yes." A thought. Hmmm.
"To convince you we must end the world," she says. "To spare Shari, when the Empress's rage would have had you destroy her, despite our need for her technology. Once, to force you to sleep so that I could heal you. And once, when you seemed so despondent over reality... that I found the only solution was to show you something eternal."
"Yes... She is angry. And She should be. After all, She has failed twice over."
Elisa doesn't have much sympathy for her, it would seem.
"But it is not necessary. It will be... less convenient, opening the Gate in a way that does not harm the Earth. But it is possible, I am certain. The reason in that prior timeline that the Earth was destroyed is that the Gate was never closed, and the Empress's rage could spill through."
She squeezes Yuliana's hand, too. "As for the rest... as I said. I believed it was necessary, at the time. But I no longer do. Say the word, and I shall find another way. But..."
"I do not think that I can find one that keeps you safe past the veil of mortality, until we deal with Her."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Her behaviour...
Elisa shortly explains, and Yuliana clutches her hand a little tighter. "Ah... no wonder she was afraid of me," Yuliana says, quietly. "It was always... something which didn't make much sense, how Sharochka was so very Awakened, but I did not feel the same rage for her that I felt for that Nova girl, or young Tessa..." And her anger towards the world was... not hers. She takes a breath, and lets it out. "You can't have convinced me of that first thing too directly," she says, "or else I wouldn't say I didn't want to end it, would I?" She doesn't remember -- all the conversations she had and forgot, where Elisa failed to convince her to join her cause.
Only the one where she found commonality with it, through her own hatred of Newtypes. Only the one where Elisa finally figured out what she wanted to hear.
"But... it was only four times. It was only four times," she repeats, again, shutting her eyes and taking another breath. "It's strange, Elya... I think I know when that last one must have been. When -- when I woke up raving about it, right? It wasn't so long ago. But I don't remember... I had no sense something was done at all. I mean, I remember that I was sorely convinced of that oblivion... I suppose the Empress still remembered when that woman saw the world that way, and in some way, She related it to me. Since... if I couldn't feel Her... I would truly be alone." And that's horrifying, too. Yuliana could have been that woman, if not for the Empress's presence in nonexistence. "But then -- then I realised you were still real, and -- it was then, I suppose. But I thought I'd realised it. I thought it was me."
Elisa once said that Yuliana wasn't like the people she controlled in the slightest.
Yuliana didn't know, back then, that it meant she was uniquely vulnerable to her Power.
She takes another breath, and focuses on the feeling of Elisa's cool skin, against her hands. "I am the Key which Locks the Gate," she says, looking down to their hands. "If I go through, what of existence...? Haa... but this world is not theirs. Reka is here, and Sharochka, too. Reka has her own link to the Void, now... and Sharochka has long been immersed in it. Perhaps... they could do it. Though I know not if they'll look at me," she adds, sadly, "after what they have learned."
Do they believe that Yuliana isn't her?
She shakes her head, looking up to her wife again. "No," she says, softly. "We cannot leave the Empress to Her empty palace. She is angrier than She has ever been, Elya. She says I have forsaken myself, that I am a traitor in my betrayal. She promises to fix me... and She promises retribution. It has been frightening..." She pauses, and perhaps there's a reason she described the anatomy of courage to Elisa, back there. "... but my heart is set. We will never be safe while Her shadow falls over us, Elya. No... not only us, but this world I love as well. We must be free."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Yes," Elisa says simply. "...Back then, it was a matter of course. Now... Well. Now we know that rage was never yours in the first place." A pause, then. And an inclination of Elisa's head. "That's correct. Instead, I convinced you to forget that I had said it. Until you were more receptive."
She stops. It's strange, but she thinks she knows... Hmm. "Yes. Even an ordinary person would forget that anything had happened, but you, so steeped in the Void, would have little chance to remember. ...No. It was me. I told you that I was real, and I told you with the Voice of Power."
A pause. "...You are," she says. "Hm. Perhaps they could. I will contact Shari. I have no such rapport with Rena... but the girl, Shari. I gave her gifts, protected her. Perhaps she will recognize our common enemy."
"If they have any sense, they will not blame you for the actions of a woman who wore your face. Certainly not when they know what they stand to gain."
But...
"Hm. Then... I shall tell you one more thing, about the Power," Elisa says.
"...Steeped in the Void, but unable to control it; you are weak to her strength. However, I believe... that within the Void... You would gain the ability to control it much as I do. Perhaps even more powerfully than my natural ability."
"So fear not. You will not be a liability, at that time. You, too, may have your vengeance."
"...Yes. I will contact Shari, and your Photon Power League, to discuss... matters. When we are done here."
She reaches up to touch Yuliana's face. "...Even the world can wait for you."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"You wouldn't take no for an answer, huh...? Oh, Elya," Yuliana sighs, with a lopsided smile. "That style of dating really doesn't work most of the time, you know? If I knew you were being so pushy trying over and over, I'd have given you quite the earful!" She has to laugh about it, because... "There's no way we wouldn't be together," she concludes, more serious. "I came to love you regardless, but the Empress really didn't understand how people worked at all. We're lucky, Elya... this might have gone much worse than it did. Well, as it is," she shrugs a shoulder, tilting her head. "We could call it an 'arranged marriage'... and I've known plenty of people who found love there despite it being decided for them. But... I'm glad I know. I'm glad I know... and is it easier for you, too?" She asks, looking to her wife. "Not carrying it alone."
The burden of her Voice of Power, which her wife hears so readily.
She tilts her head the other way, when Elisa speaks on Shari and Rena. "Then... I will try to reach Reka," she ventures, a touch cautiously. "And I will hope she has some sense, in that engineered brain of hers. Surely... she will want to see the Empress laid low, too."
Yuliana quiets, though, to listen to her wife speak on the Power. A wellspring, with no control... in this reality.
"... do you truly believe it to be so?" Yuliana asks, and smiles, nuzzling Elisa's fingers with her cheek. "Then... I will be strong, in the realm I inherit. And I will fight beside you, then, boyevaya podruga," she says, promising to be by Elisa's side in any battle she may face.
"When we return," she says, "I will go to the Photon Power League, and speak with Koyan and Yaka. Yes... when we return."
She lifts a hand, to press Elisa's own to her cheek. "But not yet," she adds, smiling to her wife. "I want to spend much more time with you... my wife I love so dearly."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"You would have," Elisa agrees. She does not laugh, though. But her conclusion is more serious, and her conclusion... "Yes," she says. "The Empress made me to find and secure you. Until you gave me more than that... It was all that there was to me."
"Because of her," she says, showing teeth. She still has the correct number. For now.
"...It is," she says. "To control you... It was difficult." Not in terms of the 'how', but, "I wished the partner I had at the beginning. The partner I know you can be. But in order to appease the Voice in my own mind, I had to keep you Safe."
"...Now, we will be free."
Yuliana ventures it... and indeed. "I think all will. The Empress is a grave threat to this world, if Her rage goes unchecked."
But Yuliana smiles, and Elisa smiles. "Good. Together, we shall be unstoppable. She has great experience... But she is one. We are two."
"...And the friends you have made may be of... assistance." She sniffs once. She's still dubious about Yuliana having 'friends'. But perhaps it's fine.
"...Yes. Dinner is complete. What of... dessert?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"You are so much more than She saw you as," Yuliana insists, quiet and fierce despite it. "I may have encouraged you to define your own reality, but it is you who claimed it for yourself. You're like me, Elya," she says, intent. "You're not strong because she made you that way! You're strong because of your own beliefs, your own desires, your own priorities. I couldn't have made you real all on my own," she shakes her head, closing her eyes as she does so, before she looks to her wife again. "You made yourself real, with my help... just as you helped me to escape Dr. Devi. And I'm so proud of you, Elya."
She can communicate the hurt she felt -- but her love is just as real. She is proud of her wife, immeasurably. To throw off the shackles of her maker...
They've been supporting each other for a long time, even under these circumstances.
"I was much more confident, then," Yuliana reflects on their first meetings, smiling to her wife again. "Much less hesitant. That's what you loved so much, right...? I think... I'd like to feel that way again. I've been living in fear for a long time... oh, it's a miserable way to be. It's not as simple as just choosing not to be afraid, but -- but when the Empress is dead, what will I have left to fear? I'll hold onto that."
Besides, if she really could be that powerful... who would stand against her?
"The Empress would end all creation," Yuliana agrees, "but first, she must end us, and She hasn't managed yet. Her wife is dead, and mine is here beside me!" Maybe Elisa isn't the only spiteful woman here. "She cannot hope to defeat us, with our powers joined together. ... and yes," she adds, a beat later, "we will want our friends to aid us. Yours as well, Elya!" That might just be Kaworu, but she still has a friend.
Yuliana leans forward, to kiss her wife, and perhaps this too is an answer.
It is a romantic cottage in the woods.