2024-06-14: Emotional Heavy Lifting
- Log: Emotional Heavy Lifting
- Cast: Shinji Ikari, Naoko Suzuki
- Where: Cargo Bay, Ra Mari II
- OOC - IC Date: 0099-06-14
- Summary: Shinji, saddled with grocery duty on his own, receives assistance from Naoko, sent his way in response to her request for something to help with. When Shinji notices something is bothering Naoko, the two bond over a thing neither realized they had in common: bad parents.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Being an assistant cook doesn't mean just chopping up vegetables and doing other prep work. It sometimes also means receiving deliveries of groceries for the ship--something that's pretty considerable, given how many people there are aboard--and taking them to the kitchens aboard. This isn't always Shinji's task, but this time around it's his turn.
As such, after inspecting the delivery to make sure everything's in order, he signs off on a clipboard and hands it back to the delivery person. Once they've taken off, he brings out several delivery carts and starts loading them up.
This is, frankly, a lot of work, especially for one person. Shinji doesn't try to ask for help, though. It's his job, and he's got to carry his weight. And also the groceries' weight. These crates--some of them refrigerated, for meats and dairies and such--are pretty heavy...
Once he's loaded up the first, he takes a break to lean his hands on his knees and pant for a moment. Shinji is eighteen now, as of last week, but he's still a skinny little thing.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Perhaps Naoko should have been more specific when she asked if there was anything she could help out with. 'Help load up groceries' indeed... haven't they seen how she struggled to move the parts she needed around between hangars? ...They probably wouldn't have, not being noticed was kind of the point. But look at her lack of muscle! ...Were they not able to tell, given that she always wears baggy, fully covering clothes?
So her thoughts go as she tries to figure out how she got stuck doing this, making her way over to the designated cargo hold. She just couldn't get herself to refuse - if this is what they're short-handed on, then she supposes she'll just have to do her best, see what she can manage.
And so, quiet footsteps herald the arrival of Naoko, in her usual casual wear of denim and sneakers. Her hands are in her pocket and her head slightly tilted down, lost in thought... that is, until she sees Shinji there, looking very tuckered out indeed. She looks aside at all that stuff still remaining to be moved and starts to feel a bit tuckered out herself already, letting out a sigh. Still, she manages a slight smile when addressing the one who's actually already done some work.
"Hey there, Shinji. They've got you doing this all by yourself? That's a bit much. Lucky for you, I'm here to help! ...So I say, not sure how much help I can really be with heavy lifting. I'll give it a shot, though."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Getting any help is a pleasant surprise--this is a lot of work for one little guy. Maybe that's why, when Naoko asked if there was anything she could help with, she was pointed Shinji's way. It might be work ill-suited to both of them, but sometimes the right people for the job just aren't available.
He hears the footsteps approach and looks up; his blue-gray eyes widen in recognition. "Oh! Hi there, Naoko." He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slow before he stands up straight. "Yeah. Bud'll help out with processing it all once it's in the kitchen, but until then..." He shrugs haplessly. "It's my turn to do it. It's only fair."
He looks over at the cart. "Well, that's one down... If we lift stuff together, it should be easier? We can just take this over for now and come back, if that works for you..."
It's easier to deal with Naoko now that they've come to a mutual understanding, he reflects. It's nice. His Tokyo-3 friends came to visit him just last weekend for his birthday, but with them living so far apart, it had to be a special occasion. It's nice to be able to just... have someone around his own age to talk to from time to time.
"Anyway," he says aloud, breaking himself from his own thoughts, "how about we start with this one and go from there? We'll have to make a bunch of trips anyway. Unless you've got some kind of... go-kart kind of thing we could load everything onto?"
That might well have been the assumption when Naoko was set on this task, really. But then again, maybe not.
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It's only fair, huh. Naoko gives Shinji a dubious look. "Doesn't look very fair to me, this doesn't seem like a one-person job at all." Certainly not when the one person in Shinji. She can't really say he should have objected though, that would be pretty hypocritical after letting herself get talked into this.
But she does feel a little better about it, now that she can view this as being something she's doing to help Shinji out. She's figured out that she can't overdo it on attempts to help him, as much as she might want to. But in this situation it's easy, nothing to complain out when it's due to a coincidence they were both assigned the same task.
"Yeah, okay, lifting and pushing stuff together makes sense. I'm... seeing a bunch of things here that I doubt I'd ever get off the ground by myself."
Walking up to the already loaded-up cart, she examines the contents, and lets out a breath. "No idea how you managed this much by yourself. You're stronger than you look." A pause, then she looks to Shinji and slightly bows her head. "Sorry, bad compliment, should've phrased that better."
Naoko, too, is more comfortable around Shinji than she used to be. Which is why he can probably tell that something's off about her. She's more quiet than she usually is. This has everything to do with recent events, between Whispered knowledge becoming public and the falling out with her parents. While there's no chance of knowing anything about the latter, perhaps Shinji might know enough to put something together about the former.
Even if not, there is something else that Shinji must be aware of: Naoko's delivery schedule has been all over the place as of late. It used to be pretty consistent: same time, same door deep in the hangar bays where no one ever goes. More recently, she's often requested delivery to her quarters instead, or cancelling on occasion. Then for the past two weeks, she's cancelled every day.
Whatever the case may be, she remains quiet and calm as she looks back to the cart, and rubs her chin. "Hmmm. Well I didn't bring anything, but if you give me a bit. Maybe I could slap some thrusters on this thing, that'll get things done in no time."
Well, not everything is different about her. Some things are still just 'same old Naoko'.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
"Well, the kitchen's understaffed right now, so..." But Shinji doesn't complete his excuse. He wonders if maybe he should've asked for help. This usually is a task for two or three people; it's not his first time doing it... But then, Naoko is here. That's two people. Right?
Either way, thankfully, he doesn't complain. THIS TIME, NAOKO.
He laughs weakly at the unintentionally backhanded compliment. "No, it's fine. I don't think I look strong either." He sure doesn't feel strong. Not like Asuka or even Naoko herself would be. They'd just say what they want. Though Naoko's eased off on that some...
Actually, she seems particularly eased-up right now. He knows that they're both awkward people, but she at least has a vivaciousness to her. Or an intensity? She has more energy than he does, at least. But she's kind of subdued right now. He hasn't heard much about the Whispered stuff--he missed that posting on the internet, but he has heard people gossiping about it--but that delivery schedule has definitely been off. Especially lately.
Then she talks about thrusters and he smiles a bit. That's more like the Naoko he knows.
"Sure. It'll be easier if we make it faster from the start. The stuff that needs to be kept cold is in chilled boxes, so they'll keep. If you need me to help out any, I can carry stuff, if you want." He pauses. "By the way, um... Maybe it's none of my business, but is everything okay with you lately...? You never get delivery anymore."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It's fine not to look strong, in fact it's best when feats of strength are managed without actually looking strong. That's more along the lines of what Naoko meant to say, but she's self-aware enough to know that this could only get more embarrassing from here. And she knows enough to realize that it would be an awful idea to go into Shinji's past feats of strength, standing against Angels and whatnot. No, absolutely letting that matter go before it snowballs and ruins the friendly atmosphere.
As always, the best policy is to focus on what she knows. The more commonly sighted grin starts to return when Shinji appears to like her idea. "Oh, really? You think I should go for it? I'm used to people trying to talk me out of this sorta thing. Because my ideas are 'too speculative', or 'irresponsible'. Or 'will probably get someone killed'." You can just hear the quotation marks in her voice. With a shrug, she adds, "People worry too much. It's just science, gosh. Nothing bad's gonna happen if I improvise a few thrusters. It'll only smell a little like mustard gas."
She says that with such a straight face. It is so hard to tell whether she's serious.
Maybe it's for the best to get her off that topic. The mention of the deliveries... it's telling that she looks away for a moment, having to think about how she's going to respond to that. When she does, it's casual enough. "...Actually, do you know how I can get myself removed from the delivery list? I don't want to have to keep cancelling. It's fine, I have a mini-kitchen in my quarters, I can make my own food. Or, you know, just go grab food myself. I don't need delivery anymore now, my project is done, so... I'll be fine now. Yeah. I'll be just fine."
Saying it twice helps when you need to convince yourself.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Naoko has gained much wisdom.
"Sure, you like building things. Maybe not thrusters, but something like that?" Shinji says at first. But then she goes on about people trying to talk her out of such things for various reasons. He sees her straight face and he absolutely thinks she's serious. A kernel of panic blooms on his face. "Uhhhhh--"
Right! Other topics! Like the deliveries, which puts Naoko off her grin. It doesn't improve the mood any, though. "Oh. Uh." He blinks twice. "Um, I think you can just tell someone...? I probably can't do it for you, but if you go to the kitchen and ask the head chef to take you off... or send them an email or something..."
He trails off. He's familiar enough with his own emotional damage to see it in someone else. She's pushing him away. He's not sure why. But it doesn't seem to be about him, just about the delivery. So... "Did someone mess up your order?" he hazards. "Or was someone rude to you about it?"
Or maybe someone saw something she didn't want them to see in her lab. Like that robot he caught a glimpse of that one time. Shinji thinks of bringing it up, but then decides--if it is about that, it's probably better not to point it out so directly.
But then he thinks that's just his cowardice talking, so he manages to add, "There isn't a problem with that project you were working on, is there...?"
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
Naoko certainly does like building some unusual things, but she was absolutely messing with Shinji, for the record. Just a little truth-embellishment to get a funny expression to happen. Couldn't help herself, he reminds her of someone else she used to mess with a lot.
She doesn't set the record straight, partially due to the subject change. "Oh," is her simple initial reaction. Makes sense, she probably could have thought of that. In her defense, "I didn't have any contact info for it, since the Captain arranged it for me." There is a pause, before she corrects, "The Admiral, back when she was still a Captain. That was a while ago, huh..." Time doesn't feel real sometimes. This leads to a thought that she ends up speaking aloud, "That wouldn't count as going against orders or something, would it?"
No. This isn't pushing people away. It's keeping people safe. No one should be involved who isn't already, it'll just be putting them in danger. Like it did the friend who Shinji reminds her of.
"...Huh? Oh, no. It's just, like I said. Project's done. It's fine and ready to go, you could go see it in the common hangar now, if you want. It kept me distracted, but now I don't need to be a bother anymore, I can take care of myself just fine."
Her eyes narrow slightly. She hasn't noticed that she's acting a little off, but now she's noticing that Shinji is. He doesn't usually ask that many questions. Not something she should be calling attention to if she wants to avoid the subject, but it just kind of happens automatically. "I'm not gonna complain about the deliveries or anything. It's got nothing to do with you. Why are you so interested, anyway?"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Sadly (?), Shinji doesn't realize. And he won't realize for a while yet, it seems!
"Oh, I see," Shinji says. "I guess that would be tough, then. ...You mean Eight-san, right?" But she confirms that herself when she corrects from 'Captain' to 'Admiral.' Shinji nods once. He gets it. "I... don't think so. She doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd be offended if you decided not to do it anymore," he adds. He pauses, then adds, "Oh, but why'd she set it up for you in the first place?"
He is asking more questions than usual, isn't he? It's like he's recovered a little emotionally--gotten back a little piece of who he is. Or who he used to be, when he felt at least marginally secure in his place in the world. He absolutely notices the way she describes herself as a 'bother,' though. For someone like Shinji, that stands out. He didn't ask because he wanted to see that robot, so he hesitates--and that gives time for Naoko to start to question him.
"Oh... Sorry," he murmurs, averting his eyes. "I was just worried you might be feeling bad..."
He thinks about saying more, but he manages to bite his tongue. Over-explaining it would only make it worse. If she doesn't want to talk about it, she doesn't want to talk about it. Right?
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
As the conversation turns, Naoko already ends up clarifying all she feels she needs to regarding why Eight set things up this way for her, namely, she was distracted by her project. She may not say it in so many words, but the implication is there: she was so distracted that she just plain forgot to eat properly, and so Eight made sure that she would. It would never have been her own idea, because... well, she also said that already. It makes her feel like that much more of a bother.
In her own mind, she was a lot more clear about all this than she actually put into words. A bad habit that she never managed to quite shake. Before she full well realized it, she was starting to lose her patience, not seeing why Shinji didn't get it. But then, in those very few words he does speak, he makes it clear that she, too, still has a lot of work to do in getting other people.
"...Ah, geez." Naoko rubs the back of her head, instantly feeling really bad about the misunderstanding. "Am I that bad at hiding the way I feel? What gave it away?" She shakes her head. "No, I'm the one who's sorry, I didn't mean to, y'know... tell you to mind your own business. It's... nice, of you, to worry."
Even if this makes things feel incredibly awkward. She just kind of stands there for a moment, at a loss on how to respond to this. If only she could think of anything better than to tell him the truth. ...Maybe it's okay if she just tells him a little bit of the truth. Yeah. A little bit should be fine.
"The truth is... I met with my parents a while back. They... we've never really gotten along. We never got the chance to, because they weren't around much. I think... they tried to make it right, in their own way. But it was in the most backhanded, selfish way that showed they still don't understand me at all."
She can't even speak of it without getting upset all over again. Her tone of voice grows louder to match, with clearly noticeable agitation. It takes self-control to not yell out the final part, but she manages to simply state it plainly.
"So I made it clear that I didn't want to see them again."
It sounds straightforward enough, as if she's simply made up her mind and made a decision. But if it really was that simple, she wouldn't be saying it while looking down at the ground, with a miserable expression.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji gets wrapped up in his head a lot, but never in the way Naoko does. He can't even imagine building a robot all by himself. He wouldn't even know where to start. Even piloting the Evangelion was mostly by instinct and following the computerized guidelines that the bridge crew supplied him. He supposes that experience and knowledge do make you better somehow--Asuka was proof enough of that all by herself--but for all the tests he did, all the experience he accumulated... he never really got better in a way that mattered.
But that's not the subject at the moment. It's good Naoko doesn't snap at Shinji--that she understands him a bit better when he apologizes. He rubs the back of his head too, mirroring Naoko. She's apologizing back, which makes him feel better--like he wasn't sticking his nose where it didn't belong. At least, not as much. "Oh... Were you trying to hide it? You just seemed... quieter than usual. And you stopped ordering delivery, of course, but... I guess you could've just gotten tired of it. Did I jump to conclusions?"
Which could have given Naoko an out, but--then she decides to share a little bit. Shinji's eyes widen, but he drops his hand and nods a little as he listens. His jaw clenches and his eyes narrow as she tells her story. It sounds awfully familiar. As she gets upset, he starts getting upset with her, for her.
"You did the right thing," he says in a low voice. He knows how she must feel--painfully well. "My father was like that too. For a while, I fooled myself into thinking he was just bad at showing how he felt and he cared after all. But he proved me wrong. The only one he ever cared about was himself!"
He catches the rise in his voice and catches himself, a line flexing in his neck. "...So I did the same thing you did. I told him I never wanted to see him again, and I left." He left, his father fired him; six of one, half-dozen of the other. "I'm better off this way. And I'm sure you are too. You don't need selfish parents who only use you for what they want. You have--" His voice catches for a second. Then, trembling, he concludes, "You have people who actually care about you."
don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
'Were you trying to hide it,' Shinji asks, as he gives examples of all the signs that pointed towards it. Naoko reacts with a physical wince. "Wow. I knew I wasn't great at that sort of thing, but when you lay it all out like that... I seriously suck at this." She knows her own failings, so clearly it must be all because of those. Much easier conclusion to reach than trying to determine whether or not Shinji's assumptions were reasonable, she can only assume so.
Whatever the case may be... there sure is a lot more to get wrapped up in in Naoko's head than is typical. It would be fair to say that it feels more natural to her to be wrapped up in her own head than to interact with others outside of it. It can be a struggle, especially when there's nothing she can say to others to explain what it's like. And it's better if they don't know about it, anyway.
She's not looking to try and explain that to Shinji, either, so instead she figured it would be a good angle to keep it grounded, focusing only on family troubles that should be easier to understand. She had no idea how well Shinji would understand this one, however. She looks genuinely shocked at the thought of someone having a parent just like hers. She met plenty of classmates' parents and none even remotely resembled what she had to deal with. It's simultaneously a relief and very much not, knowing she's not the only one going through it. Much like what it means to be a Whispered, it's something she wishes more people understood, yet wouldn't wish anyone else to go through it - a requirement for understanding it.
"You... went through the same thing...?"
She can only express her bafflement through those few words, at first. But the distress soon follows. "I-I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to bring back painful memories. I wasn't... trying to get sympathy in that way, or anything."
But, she has to calm down, for Shinji's sake too. Following a deep breath, she continues, "You're right, though... it's not okay for anybody to take advantage of your goodwill like that. So, if it's something you needed to hear, then... you, too, made the right decision. You're in charge of your own life, and what happens from here... that should be your decision, not anyone else's."
For her, it becomes easier not to cry, when someone else is present who's on the verge of tears.
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji laughs weakly. "I'm not great at it either... So at least we're in the same boat," he offers. Everyone, everyone can tell there's something wrong with him. Even people he barely knows give him funny looks sometimes, like that one dark-skinned serious lady on the bridge, or the really pale smiley pilot, or that mechanic Ryujo who helped him out during that attack on Orb. Anyone who doesn't say anything about it is just being polite.
That aside, neither of them can understand what they don't explain. But Naoko's explained a little, and so Shinji has come to understand a little--and vice versa, as it turns out. Shinji feels much the way that Naoko does, after all. It's a horrible thing for anyone to have to go it, and his fellow Eva pilots have gone through so much worse. Even if he doesn't know all the details.
He doesn't expect Naoko to apologize, though, even if he did talk about it to let her know she's not alone. He blinks, managing to rein in the tears that were on the verge of spilling, if with a bit of eye-rubbing. "N-no, no, you didn't know--I know you weren't," he reassures her awkwardly. "I-I told you because--I used t always feel alone like that, too. But there's really a lot of lousy parents out in the world, aren't there?"
He smiles a little when she reassures him in turn. "...Thanks." He bows his head. Knowing that Asuka and Rei are alive--in significantly worse condition than before, but alive--lets it stick a little, too. Not necessarily in a good way, but not in a bad way, either. "...It was a long time coming, anyway. I thought things were getting better, but the truth was, I never belonged there in the first place. Being here where I can help without fighting or getting in the way... it suits me a lot better."
He rubs his face again. "...But you like fighting, huh? Just like Asuka. I bet getting out there and beating up--whoever you beat up, feels way better to you." He pauses, his eyes meeting hers. "...What d'you like about fighting, anyway? If it's okay for me to ask."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
It is the same boat, 100 percent. After all, it was Naoko who could tell something was bothering Shinji first, all that time ago. And while her solution to that turned out to be the complete wrong response at the time, interactions such as this one would likely not have happened had it not been for that initial incident. Score one for being bad at hiding things and completely ignoring the conventions of politeness.
They've come a long way since then. Naoko sure feels as if she inadvertently botched this interaction too, right up until Shinji reassures her that it's fine. Awkwardness or no, there is understanding to be found in the common ground they share. Good thing too, because Naoko would have had no idea what to do if Shinji started bawling right there.
As it is, a firm nod can suffice. "You've got that right. I know that there are parents out there who make mine look like saints. They never physically hurt me or anything like that. It's just that... the absence of one form of pain doesn't make another okay." She may have stolen that line from an anime, but that's not important, it's still appropriate.
Naoko still knows very little about Shinji's personal situation. She felt it best not to ask him directly, and it didn't feel okay to ask others behind his back. She's known for a long while that he was an Evangelion pilot - seen him in action even - but never truly understood what him decide to quit. It's only now, through these words, that she's managing to infer he wasn't doing it by choice, but forced to do that by his father. That... certainly puts a lot into perspective. She balls her fists at her sides.
"...Damn it. All this time, I had no idea that was the way you felt. No wonder..." She waves one hand to the side. "Well, don't worry, you're completely right. Nobody here is going to force you to anything that you don't want to do." If it sounds like that's what they're trying to do, they're probably just ignorant, like she was, in hindsight.
Then Shinji posits that she likes fighting. It may not have been expected, but that gets an "Eh?" of surprise. She never really thought of it that way. She has to think a moment about that question, idly fiddling with her right braid as she does.
"...I think it's more that I like the idea of fighting? If there's something you believe in, and you have the ability to fight for it... that's the only thing that makes sense, isn't it? By fighting, I can protect the people who can't fight. Also, if I fight... that means that people who don't want to fight won't have to. That's what I like to think."
She chuckles, and makes a 'what can you do' motion with her arms. "I did build my own Arm Slave, after all, completely tailored to myself. Wouldn't make sense if I didn't use it."
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Bonding through awkwardness! The best kind of bonding...?
Well, it's the kind of bonding you get in Tokyo-3. Looks like Shinji brought it along with him.
It's gratifying to hear that, now that Naoko knows a bit more about his situation, she's taking his side on it. He's forgiven her by now, but back at that first disastrous interaction, her words had stabbed him over and over. His eyes soften. "...Yeah."
He still misses Tokyo-3 from time to time for some bizarre reason--something underscored to him when he finally went back a couple of times recently--but he doesn't have to worry so much here. He can... finally start to move on. If he goes back, it's because he wanted to. Because he has a bond with his fellow Children. Not because someone forced or manipulated him into it. ...even if Asuka did tell him to his face she never wanted to see him again. At least that's the end result of his feelings and hers, not anything anyone else forced of them. ......he thinks.
"Eh?" he echoes back at Naoko's surprise. Why would she be surprised to hear that?? But she explains herself, and he nods slowly. "I guess... Yeah. I see what you're saying." He criss-crosses his fingers together as he leans on one of the grocery crate stacks. "Actually, even if we have totally different attitudes about it, it was like that for me too. I didn't want to pilot at first. But the only ones who could were me and this other girl. When I refused, they wheeled her out to do it instead, because someone had to or a lot of people would die. But she was really badly hurt herself. When I saw that... I just couldn't let them force her into it. So I decided to do it after all." He stares up at the ceiling. "It feels like a really long time ago... and I guess it is, now. It'll be four years ago come this October..."
He shakes his head a bit and looks back at Naoko. "But I didn't make my own robot. I wouldn't have any idea of how to even start." They just put him in it and it moved when he thought at it. Totally lame, something surely anyone in his position could have done. "You're really incredible like that, Naoko."
<Pose Tracker> Naoko Suzuki has posed.
They say it's opposites that attract, but in Naoko's experience it doesn't really work like that. She really needs that common ground to feel like there's a foundation for such a bond. Awkwardness is... apparently something that works for this! She could've done without the parental issue commonality, but, that too has now been irrevocably added to the list.
At least the mystery behind Shinji's poor response to forceful encouragement is finally cleared up for her. It took over one and a half years, but hey, she's gone far longer without being able to fully understand certain things. That's a pretty good score on average.
She doesn't know all the underlying details of course, but she at least knows better than to try and actively nudge Shinji in one direction or another. It's important that whatever he does from here will be his own choice. She can only relate the way she feels about fighting. How if you can do it, you should do it. That's an opinion, no more or less valid than any other. And even though Shinji says it was like that for him at first too... her expression turns sour the more she hears about the circumstances.
"Ugh. That was basically the same as forcing you to do it. It's either that or feel guilty forever. 'Not cool' is putting it mildly." She shakes her head. "That's also a lot younger than when I got into my first real fight, I'd just turned seventeen." Many would say that's already too early. But, it's never been anything but her own choice. If it had been, one can imagine her feelings on fighting might be quite different.
After all that, she doesn't see the praise coming at all. It visibly blindsides her a moment, but considering it's her work that's being praised, she recovers quickly enough. That sort of praise is more than welcome.
"Ahaha... no big deal, no big deal. I am a Miracle Worker, after all!"
<Pose Tracker> Shinji Ikari has posed.
Shinji smiles a little more at Naoko's validation. Given all the baggage that comes with being an Evangelion pilot, it really does make him feel better to have someone hear that circumstance and affirm to him that it's bullshit. "Piloting was awful in a lot of ways, but I don't regret helping that girl. She ended up becoming a really important friend to me," he thus can say out loud. His smile flickers away as his eyes sink to the floor. "Her name's Ayanami. Rei Ayanami. She was hurt really badly during the mission that made me quit, and she's still recovering from it... but maybe one day, I'll get to introduce you to her."
He pauses, then adds, "All the pilots were the same age as me, at least. So that was something we had in common. So it wasn't all bad, all the time. There were people there that mattered to me." There still are, he doesn't say--but he thinks it, and squeezes his hands together.
Fortunately, his compliment on Naoko is well-received, even if it takes her off-guard for a moment. He smiles back at her, then looks over at the crates. "Speaking of which... we really should figure out a way to get all this stuff moved. The kitchens are waiting on us to get everything delivered." He pauses. "But... maybe we can talk some more sometime. If that's okay."
Talking to Naoko made him feel better. Hopefully her talking to him made her feel better, too. Maybe they can continue to do that for each other.