2024-06-11: Consideration
- Log: Consideration
- Cast: Lucine Azul, Elisa Kafim
- Where: Lucine's Apartment
- OOC - IC Date: June 11, 2024 (IC 0099)
- Summary: While Lucine is coming in from the rain, Elisa Kafim appears in her mirror. She has questions, and in return: a boon.
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
With the Nadesico between missions, this has left Lucine some free time to go back to her apartment, in order to extend some care over the healthy (but not overwhelming) amount of house plants there. Thankfully, the ones here aren't particularly needy, outside of some maintenance here and there. The occasions that Lucine has had to be away for extended amounts of time, an elderly widow has been more than happy to come in and water when asked, once Lucine and Liam figured out a proper security system to allow for it.
Still, Lucine knows her thumb always seems to be the best. The outside balcony now has a few potted vegetables, even, despite there being a rooftop garden area. These now benefit from the rainstorm that begins pattering down, making a speckled mess of dots across the cement. It's to be expected, in this climate, and Lucine is willing to wheel some thirstier plants outside to take advantage of the free water.
However, the increasing rainshower makes no distinction between the plants and Lucine.
A slightly soaked Lucine walks in, walking over to the kitchen to nab a handtowel. Pacing to the long narrow mirror, she wipes her face and lifts up a limp portion of wet hair.
Just a quiet afternoon, in a quiet apartment.
As much as Lucine appreciates the alone time, it still feels lonely when she sees one of Liam's jackets on the hook behind her.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa Kafim is troubled. Her wife is staying an extra week away from her; the Photon Power League have influenced her specifically. But she also still must work on what she decided, the matter of family, and her own ties to this world. So she has thought of one girl to whom she is connected:
The girl whose mobile suit she had stolen, all that time ago. The girl who refused her a position on her ship. A girl who met Yuliana...
And who is now in Orb. Yes. Perhaps it is 'fate'.
Regardless, when Lucine looks into the mirror, at first it is her own reflection. Then it darkens, and swirls with green light, before suddenly Elisa Kafim is there, standing in the mirror in her usual black robes.
"Lucine Azul," she says. "...That is your proper name, is it not? I asked my intelligence master to confirm it, that I might speak with you appropriately."
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
It's about the time that Lucine's eyes settle on that familiar jacket reflected behind her that it darkens and swirls with that green light. It's entirely unexpected in Lucine's world, in spite of her brushes with Elisa and Yuliana, that it takes a several moments for her to process.
A dream?
Lucine's not going to test that theory.
As Elisa talks, Lucine is already rushing to the kitchen, her hands gripping for a knife from the wooden knife storage block. Whipping around, she holds the butcher in front of her, wishing she had sprung for a slightly costlier, and possibly sharper, knife set.
"...." After a moment of tense stillness, as Lucine realizes Elisa is in the mirror, and not *outside* it, she finally answers. ".... Yes. That's my name. What do you want?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Lucine rushes. Elisa waits. She looks down at the knife, and up at Lucine. "I approve of yor impulse. The desire to protect yourself is strong. But there is no need; I have only appeared in this vessel, not in my full might."
"I have questions," she says. "I would have answers. In return, i shall answer questions of yours. If this is acceptable to you, then you shall be safe today; this is all I wish."
"For instance," she begins, "Why is your man not with you? I am given to understand that you are in love, committed to one another."
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
Yellow eyes stare back at Elisa like that of a startled hawk, bewildered and unsure.
Unlike a hawk, Lucine can decide whether or not to trust.
"... Alright." The knife is lowered, but not put away; Lucine holds it firmly instead in her right hand, remembering what Liam told her about Elisa and Yuliana.
"Liam is..." ... someplace, or anyplace, which is Lucine shouldn't directly volunteer. Elisa may use that information. "He's currently away." Not exactly a lie, but it doesn't volunteer how long it'll be before he comes back.
"My turn." Lucine moves ahead in the conversation, quick, paranoid, and-- "What do you want with Liam?" --assuming the wrong thing.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa watches Lucine like a snake might watch someone--as warmly. But sh shakes her head, after a mmoment. "I am aware that he is not with you," she says. "I am wondering why you woul allow yourselves to be parted when you need not be."
"But, that is fair; I will answer yours as well."
"I wish... to understand," she says. "My wife has persuaded me that I must understand this world, in order to achieve my goal. I have decided that in order to overthrow the Empress, I must draw on the powers of this realm."
"He insulted my wife, once. That is a grave sin. But I will forego further punishment, if I can glean this 'understanding' from him. For now, at least."
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
'I am aware that he is not with you.'
'Then why did you ask', is what Lucine wants to say, before she holds herself back.
'I am wondering why you would allow yourselves to be parted when you need not be.'
Lucine relaxes, just a hair, as she realizes why Elisa asked in the first place. She again thinks back to what Liam said, and how it opened up a question in their own relationship of codependence.
She wishes she had taken notes about what she had said, back then. "I see. Give me a moment."
Lucine sets the knife down, and disappears from the mirror's view, from Elisa's perspective. There's a sound of chairlegs moving around the smooth kitchen tiles. ".... Because we're different people." And then, Lucine is back, positioning a chair in front of the mirror and sitting on it. "We have different things we can, and need, to protect, as well as varying ways we can."
Her hair is still damp as it settles across her shoulders, but it's already beginning to dry back out. "I love him for the things he does and cares about, and that love doesn't decline just because I can't feel or sense him by me. It's scary, sometimes, not knowing... but he likely is feeling the same way. Or, if he isn't... I need to uphold my end of that, and ensure I don't give him reasons to worry." She manages to grin, slightly. "I would hope... that he will have the same consideration for me. But sometimes...." She gestures towards Elisa. "... some circumstances mean... taking risks we might otherwise... not take at all."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Lucine seems to understand the question this time. She retursn, and answers. Elisa listens. "Hmmm..."
"So you have different goals," she says. "Strange. To rely on this 'consideration' instead of choosing goals together."
"...To risk yourselves is one thing. But such disunity is strange to me. Perhaps it is the way of mortals to love less intensely in this way."
She considers. "Or perhaps it is a matter of 'divide and conquer'. You each focus on different goals for the whole..."
"Well, regardless. It is not my way to be separated so long from the one I love. This you know. I suggest that you reconsider it for yourself--or you may find that you lose what which you hold most dear, and that is not a threat."
"...Very well. You may ask another question. But mine is: What do you value, then? That thing you wish to protect. If it is not the one you love, then what?"
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
"It may seem that way, to someone who's not used to it. I'm not even sure my answer will be the best; this is our first real relationship." Lucine grows more comfortable, knowing that mirror is something she could hook a foot out and somehow flip over, or manipulate if things get too dangerous.
How Elisa's magic could really be deterred by that is not something she wants to test, all the same.
Do they love less intensely? ... in this way. Lucine's lips frown slightly, but she reminds herself who is speaking. "It's also... trust. My trust may be broken, it's true... but if I never gave it out at all, it means I never trusted anyone at all, much less the person I love."
'Divide and conquer'? Lucine isn't sure of that description, either. ".... I suppose... in a small way. Me answering your questions... may mean you are less likely to ask Liam the same ones. But I don't depend on it." A part of her wonders what Liam might say.
Another part realizes this is _Elisa_.
-I suggest that you reconsider it for yourself--or you may find that you lose what which you hold most dear, and that is not a threat.'
And statements like those are liable to make a person smash a mirror if they're in a worse mood.
".... To tie yourself emotionally in another person," Lucine begins, "means that person... has to be tied to your emotions. Like a vine, choking a twig that has allowed it to enter the light. Supporting each other is good, but... everything has a limit. It's better to be stronger side by side... than lose the ability to walk at all. Are the parts of Yuliana you love... something that would survive that, if you leaned too hard?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Hmmm. I see. Young and inexperienced, you still do your best."
It might be deterred. Or she might show up bodily. It's hard to say.
"Trust..." She considers that. "Is that a bad thing?" she wonders. "I am not without trust, but it is a risk. It risks his safety, to keep him out of your sight."
A nod. "True. I am unlikely to approach him for these things, at least. Particularly if I have answers from you."
Lucine begins an explanation. Elisa continues to watch her as a snake might, thoughtfully, but without blinking. Without pity.
"Hmm. I do value her desires. Her initiative. As inconvenient as it is--as much as she puts herself at risk--this remains true."
"But is it not better to ensure she lives, then to risk otherwise?" she asks. "Your man could be in battle right now, fighting for his life, and you would neither know nor be able to assist him."
"How can you be stronger side by side if he is not at your side?"
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
"Yes, in a sense." Their relationship is a few years old; by some standards, that may make them 'experienced', but Lucine... doesn't feel that way. She still doesn't quite feel like she's even grown that much beyond her nervous 16 year old self, in some ways, despite looking it in the mirror. Liam barely resembles the flat-voiced teenage soldier, but he's still settling into his skin in many ways.
Lucine considers, closing her eyes for a moment. Her chin tilts. The rain patters gently against the floor length windows in the back, the rainstorm merrily enclosing the space in a joyful cocoon.
What are the best words for this?
She opens her eyes, and considers the knife, on the counter.
".... If I were to turn the question around..." Her eyes travel back to Elisa's. "... what if, Liam felt I always needed to be by his side, and that, if I was out of it, I could die at any moment. My needs, my wishes, my wants... it wouldn't really matter, after a while. Talking to you, for example... this version of Liam... would be afraid I'd die. And, I very well still can, here."
She folds her hands over her lap. "... And what if the first thing I did, when I saw your reflection, was to cry and whimper, because Liam wasn't by my side to protect me? He isn't like you, after all... there will always be a time when I'll be out of his sight."
Her gaze grows sharp. ".... And what, when you stole the Dianthus, would it have meant if I had shriveled up and never tried to get it back? Being forced to lean on someone else... means you lose the ability to stand on your own."
"Because loving someone doesn't mean he always needs to be by my side, nor does it mean I must always be by his."
There's also the matter of Lucine not wanting to divulge details or gossip about Liam's place of employ, but that's besides the point.
"When he comes back, I will be alive. And if I were to die... it wouldn't be _without a fight_."
.... her therapist may not approve of all of Lucine's answers, but she's never had to deal with Elisa.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"You are not even married," she points out of their inexperience.
But Lucine turns it around. Elisa considers, because she did come in the sirit of discussion. "Is that necessarily so?" Elisa wonders. "That your needs and wwants would cease to matter. He could devote himself to achieving them."
"I do not suggest that you become weak," she says. "My Yuliana is quite strong. ...But her enemies are also strong."
She thiks about that. The sharp gaze doesn't bother her. "Hmm. So you believe that by protecting her, I inherently limit her. I am not so sure this is true, but because I went to the trouble of coming to you for this question, I will consider it."
"I disagree, of course; you would naturally want to spend all your time with the one you love. To do otherwise is only done of necessity."
"...But I suppose that is good. That you would fight, to return to him. Would that comfort him, if you died anyway? Knowing that had fought? You would be just as dead."
She muses on it. "...No, I have assured you of safety. I will not pursue such an experiment."
"Hm. Very well. I comprehend; you mortals value your indepedence, and see protection as anathema to it when taken to sufficient extremes. Did you have another question for me? That was our deal, after all."
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
"... W-well-" The subject flusters Lucine. "There's a lot of questions you have to ask when it gets to that!"
The idea of Liam dedicating himself in such a way to Lucine... flusters her in a completely different, and not pleasant way.
"_No_. He's had to untangle himself from so much. I don't want to be _another cage for him_."
.... Which brings Lucine to a new understanding of the issue. But why did she have to get that understanding while talking to *Elisa*?
"... And I... don't think he wants to be that way for me, either."
Would it comfort him, if she died? Lucine frowns, uncomfortable with the idea of dying. ".... If I did... I'd hope that Liam would be able to find someone."
Lucine seems to deflate slightly, as Elisa successfully calls her out on her unnecessarily bravado.
Another question? 'Why did you take the Dianthus' springs to mind. But wouldn't that be selfish?
".... What's the real purpose behind the Silent Calling?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"True. A wedding is something that requires much planning. But I encourage you to consider it sooner than later, if you are serious about your relationship. To avoid commitment is cowardlly."
Another cage? "Hmmm," Elisa says. She muses. "So you wish to keep him 'free', and that is something you treasure..."
"And he for you, you think. You only think. ...But to wish him to find someone else... Hmmm."
"I cannot relate."
But she will answer the question. "My Yuliana wished to help people. The Silent Calling is a vehicle by which she can do so, and spread our philosophies."
Elisa answers the specific question asked of her, with only a little bit of extra data. Only a little bit.
And a little more, "But what does it mean, to 'help' people? Who decides what is good for them? I have considered this question."
"...Very well. You have done as I asked. In return..."
She considers. "The next time I or my forces fight your man, I will ensure that he lives. That shall be the boon I grant you. Should we fight again, I think it is sufficient."
"Goodbye, Lucine Azul. Treasure what you have."
"...For you do not have the power I do to avenge it, should you lose it."
Unless Gwen can convince her to stay--Elisa's image will blur, swirl, and fade away.
<Pose Tracker> Lucine Azul has posed.
The blush on Lucine's face feels good, but also humiliating. Why is _Elisa_, of all people, giving her decent advance?
To force a marriage on a man who doesn't even feel ready to reveal his surname... it feels like forcing issues before Liam has had a chance to understand who he is.
And Lucine herself... could she claim she's any closer?
'You think'. A tic on Lucine's part, but one she can make serve another purpose.
".... I don't want to speak for him, especially when he'd likely prefer it if I didn't take the risk of talking to you in the first place."
Elisa cannot relate to the last part.
"... It means thinking about a world without yourself in it, so..." Lucine offers, quietly. "It's not as if I'd love it, either. I'm... very happy being the one."
Elisa's answer to Lucine's question almost makes Lucine wish that she had asked her first choice of question, but, would she have gotten a better response to that?
The boon, however, makes up for it in full. ".... Thank you," Lucine says, before she can think better on it, especially after what Elisa says next.
She's felt that helplessness before, knowing someone she loved died, and she could do nothing.
It comes a little too easily for her liking, so she lets Elisa go, instead of pushing it further.
Once Lucine is sure, she gets up from the chair, unhooks the mirror from the wall, and turns it around.
She'd like to be able to guarantee Elisa won't snoop on her when she's walking around half asleep tomorrow morning.