2023-12-13: Sounds of the Future
- Log: 2023-12-13 Sounds of the Future
- Cast: Kaworu Nagisa, Renais Cardiff
- Where: Division Train
- OOC - IC Date: December 13, 0097 (2023)
- Summary: Renais and Kaworu take a quiet moment aboard the Division Train to reconnect over future music.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
The inky space around where Jupiter once was is quiet. The back-to-back battles that took place only the other day are over, and there has been some time for everyone to rest and recuperate--and for those who once fought as Ruin Apostles to recover from being cleansed of that orange sickness.
Kaworu has, for some time now, been working on creating music. The melody of the first song is complete; the lyrics, close to it; it will need to be arranged, but that's something he won't be able to finish until they return to Earth. For right now, he's taking a break from it, standing in one of the windowed cars of the Division Train. He's in his plug suit with a white windbreaker, hands in his pockets, Shinji's SDAT clipped to a breast pocket, earbuds tucked in his ears.
He hums quietly along to Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring as he gazes out at the various moons that still orbit the place where their planet once was. Despite seeming occupied, he's still well aware of the lifeforms around him. He isn't at all hidden, either. The view would be better from outside the Division Train, but... he's opted not to cause any unnecessary alarm. Morale is finally on the rise, after all.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
The infirmary is busy. Too busy, right now, for the Mobile Division captain. Too much noise, too many... people.
It doesn't help that she's not sure how she's going to talk to her father when he wakes up, assuming she does at all. She's at least entertaining the possibility of avoidance.
Unfortunately for her, performing Hell & Heaven twice in such quick succession has left her in less-than-stellar shape; and so it is that her arrival is heralded not only by melancholy thoughts, but by the quiet clatter of wheels from her IV stand, bearing two bags, each with a tube tucked under the hospital gown she's wearing over her bodysuit, presumably hooked into ports on her shoulder.
She looks Kaworu's way, approaching. "Bonjour," she says quietly, her voice a little hoarse. "... it's quite a view, isn't it? Moreso considering what should be there."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu doesn't react to Renais' approach until she speaks up to greet him. Then, despite the earbuds in his ears, he turns to look at her. He's smiling from the start, but his red eyes shift with sympathy when he takes in her appearance.
"It is," he agrees, apparently able to hear her just fine too despite her hoarseness. "It's a rare opportunity for anyone from Earth to see this view personally. I thought I should bask in it while I can."
He pauses, gaze shifting to the tubes looping into her body from the IVs. "You worked hard, Renais Cardiff." He meets her eyes. "The climactic battle has not yet come, but for now, are you satisfied with what you've done?"
He doesn't address the matter of her father just yet. It's best to let her bring that up on her own, if she so chooses.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"... Maybe," Renais replies after a long moment. "It's hard. I keep thinking I should have done more... I was the first to come back, but..." She didn't--couldn't, more realistically--do much to counter the threat.
She shakes her head, pulling a chair over and taking a seat. "Like maybe we could have stopped it from getting to this point. It's stupid."
"... but we've done a lot. Everyone's been accounted for, now. All that's left is Genesic." She looks out the window. "You should have seen the looks on Guy and Mikoto's faces when they cleared it out of her."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
There are reasons why someone wouldn't be satisfied at this point. Even so, Kaworu is a little surprised when it takes Renais so long to respond. "Mikoto Utsugi was retrieved safely. You aren't satisfied with that?" he wonders.
Perhaps it's a combination of factors... Regardless, when Renais seats herself, Kaworu follows suit, sitting next to her and crossing his legs. "I was caught up with the battle against Takeshi Todo, but I did see your part in the fight against Soldato J-002. And as you say, much has been done. You shouldn't denegrate your role in things. You've done well up until now."
The look on Guy and Mikoto's faces, though... "Oh? Were they happy?" he prompts. That's what he would assume, but... with Renais seeming a little dour, it's hard to know for sure. But then, that's why he's asking.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"It's been more than a year, now, since they pulled me out. Closer to two. I just... wonder if I should have done more. Acted sooner. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten this bad."
Renais nods, a smile forming. "They were. I'm sure it was hurting Mikoto as much as it was Guy...I suppose that's part of why it's troubling me. J," she gestures vaguely forward, "He'll fight for any cause he believes in, no problem. But Mikoto. It never sat right with her, having to do what we were doing. She even *let* him purify her in the end."
"I don't know. I just can't shake the feeling that I didn't do enough for them. For any of them, really."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It has been a long while since Renais was purified. She was the first to be recovered, even. It's understandable that it would feel like a long time to her. But if she feels like she didn't do enough, even now...
"I see. Her long trial has come to an end," Kaworu muses of Mikoto. If it was difficult for her to carry out that 'mission' even while under the thrall of the Dawn, then there's no telling how heavily it will weigh on her going forward.
"You're a truly kind person, Renais," he says. "You take on the blame for the suffering they've endured as one who's suffered the same. If you wish to do more for those who've recovered from the same... You have walked the road of recovery from the Dawn for some time now. Perhaps it would ease their hearts if you were to help guide them. To recall the days and months after your own purification, and share that experience with them."
Mikoto alone's sure to have a lot of guilt over it. It might well be easier to come to terms with what they did while under the influence of the Dawn if Renais is there to commiserate.
"It's only a suggestion, of course," Kaworu adds. "But if you truly feel as though you could have done more in the past, then that stands out to me as something you can do going forward."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
The statement about her kindness flatters Renais. She doubts that it's true, but... seems to appreciate it anyway, as she looks away. Her hands are folded in her lap. Eventually, she looks back to him.
"You're right, I think... thank you." She chuckles, a little awkwardly. "I promise I didn't come here looking for advice. I just... want to talk with a friend."
"So... I suppose I should ask how you're holding up."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu's eyes shut as he smiles at her. "Why would you promise something like that? It's only natural to want to give advice to a friend in distress." His eyes open anew. "That's part of what talking to a friend means. Don't you think so?"
Which of course means that Renais, kind as she is--however much she herself doesn't think so; but certain types of kind-hearted people don't recognize their own kindness, in Kaworu's experience--asks about him in turn.
"I was worried about everyone else," he replies. "That's why I started composing some songs to record when we return to Earth. They're coming along splendidly. I've almost finished the first one."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais smiles back. "... I suppose you're right again. You're right about a lot of things, I've noticed." She thinks, briefly, about how lucky she is to know him.
She perks up at the mention of music, her smile warm and faintly amused. "I didn't know you were a songwriter, Kaworu. I'd love to hear what you've got." She winces a little as she turns to face him in her chair. "I'm worried about them, too," she admits. "Asuka, especially."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Haha, thank you. I only say what seems clear to me. But there are things even I can't see clearly. That's why these talks with friends are important for us both," Kaworu replies.
She shows interest in his songs, too. "Then if you like, I can bring my keyboard around later and play it for you. I don't have a vocalist yet, but I haven't finished the lyrics either, so it will just be the melody."
His smile dims when she winces as she turns. He doesn't ask if she's all right; if she were all right, she wouldn't be carrying an IV pole around with her. There's concern in his eyes all the same--and it remains as she continues.
"...Were you on good terms with her?" he wonders quietly. "I know the two of you were under Bujack's influence for a time..."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"Mmn. I could sing," Renais offers, "At least demoing it. It's been a long time since I did, but... I was in chorus in middle school." Noting Kaworu's concern, she holds up a hand, "I'll be fine. Using Hell & Heaven twice just... puts a lot of strain on my body. I need downtime."
She nods to the question, "Yes. We bonded while I was still under the influence of Triple Zero." Pursing her lips, she continues, "... over our shared belief that we were more weapon than human. I've... grown beyond that, but."
Kaworu knows as well as she does that Asuka has a long way to go there.
"Last I heard, things were... rough, on the home front. Even leaving aside the possibility of Angels taking advantage..." It's left unspoken, but she doesn't trust NERV's top brass.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu chuckes. "Rikka made the same offer. If it pleases you, I could have you both sing at some point." And there's Alouette, too, though she didn't make that same offer--and Mari, who would happily jump at the chance. Kaworu's quite fortunate to have so many vocalists around him.%
That aside, when Renais reassures him about her condition, his gaze softens, and he nods once. "And there are many aboard who'll make sure you get that downtime."
Renais confirms his guess about her relationship with Asuka. He didn't know that, but he's not surprised to hear it, despite it being about... well, Asuka. Given what they bonded over, though... "I see," he says softly. "That does seem like something that would get the Second to let down her guard a little."
Rough. That's certainly one way of putting it. There's lots of people who don't trust NERV's top brass at this point. Kaworu shakes his head slightly. "That's certainly true. But there's no changing the past now."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais nods, "I think I'd like that. And I'm glad to hear I'm in good company," she says with a smile. "And... yeah. Honestly, it's a privilege to work with these people."
She looks out into the dark. "... as long as he gives me the chance, anyway." She nods out the window. "Not that this'll stop me if he does strike," she tips her head toward the IV stand. She's a Shishioh, all right.
To his comment about Asuka, she nods, chuckling a little. "Yeah... I don't know what her deal is, but I feel like she's got a lot of good reasons to be angry at the world. Just... need to show her she's more than a gun that thinks." She smiles a little more again. "I'll work on that when we get home."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Then one day, when we have the chance," Kaworu says. For now, Renais still needs to recover... and of course, they all need to defeat Genesic and return to Earth. But Kaworu is reasonably confident it'll happen.
He chuckles as she nods to the IV stand. "No, I expect it wouldn't." A Shishioh indeed. Hopefully it won't be necessary, but the enemy is rarely so courteous.
"I see... Yes, I think that would be good for both of you." Kaworu half-turns to gaze out the window again. "But until then, some time to relax and recuperate is necessary. Shall we take in the view?"
It's a unique view they won't get to see for much longer, one way or another. They should enjoy it while it lasts.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais nods lightly. "We'll see how my throat recovers over the next few days, I may be able to practice." She winks, before looking out the window. "... Guy always wanted to come here, you know. It's why he wanted to be an astronaut, to follow in his mother's footsteps. It's really a shame..."
"Both times he's done it, it's been fighting for the fate of the universe... and this time, it doesn't even have the courtesy of giving him a planet to look at."
"-oh! Look." She points out the window, toward a scarred, pockmarked, sulphurous-yellow sphere. "Upper-right quadrant. There's a volcano erupting on the edge of the disk... it's weird to think the thing putting all that tidal stress on it is invisible now..."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Did he? That is a shame," Kaworu says--for exactly the reason Renais says. This might be a unique view, but it would be nicer to get to enjoy Jupiter's majesty as it is.
"I hope one day, he'll be able to see the view he wishes on his own terms."
For now, though, he'll smile with Renais and follow the end of her finger to the volcanic eruption she points out. He'll take his own turn pointing out frozen oceans on other moons.
Even if Jupiter itself isn't visible, there's plenty left behind to take in still.