2023-11-27: I'll Face Myself
- Log: I'll Face Myself
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2023-11-27
- Summary: Yuliana facilitates a conversation between Elisa and the Empress, thanks to her connection with the Void. The Empress... doesn't quite understand the limits of mortality, but is nonetheless pleased to see Elisa's efforts in keeping Yuliana safe. Even, perhaps, from Her... and when it's clear that Yuliana can't withstand the rest of her core warmth draining away, She blesses Elisa, instead, to demonstrate Yuliana's strengths to her.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIyTpWyeYy0 Nine Inch Nails - Sanctified
The North Wing of the Silent Castle is Elisa's domain, where she may commit all her science and magic with all the tools at her disposal. It is, inarguably, the coldest part of the Castle -- warmed only enough to allow the servants to work safely -- because Elisa has no need of warmth.
The ritual hall is warmer today, though -- because it's not just Elisa, attending the blood and bone-ash of this magic circle. Green candles flicker at each cardinal direction, and Green Fold is arranged at the centre, Northwest Northeast Southwest Southeast. They circle a black scrying orb, all arranged from hexagonal pieces... the very same orb Yuliana offers herself to, providing Elisa with her power.
(This, too, is Voidframe. The prototype of the product, tested against Yuliana to ensure she would be safe.)
It would not be the first time Elisa has used the powers of this scrying orb to commune with the Void -- but neither is it easy, for her. With the second day of the last month fast approaching, Yuliana feared that her wife would be trapped in her trance when their appointed day arrived... and remembering what happened the last time she acted on her own while her wife was communing, she's come up with an alternate suggestion.
It is easier for Yuliana to reach the Void.
And so she places her hands about the orb, kneeling on the ground beside it. She looks up, over the sphere, to find her wife's eyes. "I just say the words...?" She ventures, unsure. She has said the words of Elisa's ritual many times -- but as an offering. Now, she seeks to connect with the realm beyond this world.
Of course, she seeks her wife's guidance.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
The chill of the North Wing is the chill of the grave. Blood and bone-ash, green candles and Green Fold... these things work best in places where the veil is thinned. And the veil is thinned by death.
Elisa is familiar with the tools of her work, though it takes on a different cast, now. No mere witch; she is a piece of divinity, working the divine miracles of her station. And....
Yuliana, as often is the case, had a very good idea.
"Yes," Elisa says to Yuliana when she asks. "The words. You must mean them, of course."
She will seek beyond...
"And then... We shall See."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana smiles, to her wife. "I always do," she assures her, gently. "It wouldn't work if it wasn't genuine, would it, Elya...?" Not even Yuliana can lie to Elisa's incantations, though she is, in fact, a very good liar. That she volunteers herself to Elisa's scrying orb is essential.
And it is not that they will see; it is that they will See. So often these words take on deeper meaning, now, proper nouns choking out their counterparts.
These are the words, said once more: "I offer you all that I am, warding Lock and turning Key. I am the Gate, offered freely, and without reservation." She takes a breath, and her eyes shine with a strange light carried through to that black orb, all lit with green lines. "Know me, as I know the Void."
She looks up, over Elisa's head, with a sharp inwards gasp. "That's it," she says, staring at a nondescript point in space, staring at something only she can see. "I'm too much here -- I -- I See Her..." And her fingers tremble, but they do not lift from the scrying orb, as she stares out into space.
And when she looks through those cracks, the same cracks in the world which Newtypes throw into such sharp relief, so too does the abyss look back into her.
"Haa..." Her inward breath is audible, as her chin and her gaze rise, as if to behold some vast thing just to the left of this existence. Her lips remain parted, all calloused on her bottom lip from her single fang; the words reverberate through her, tearing in through her lungs and her throat and her tongue. "Y sh'ia: ll:o, ot llth'ow-k jow-ll iajiash," the answer she hears to the storm in her heart. She speaks with words not her own, but she welcomes the divine, wreaking through her. "Jiash. Y kh'ollfiat th'oth Y oni ot sh'ia-th Nijsh'iallfh th'ou jow, llph'iash'ia-th th'oni:a, llph'iash'ia-th okia, llph'iash'ia-th llioth, llph'iash'ia-th ia:t."
She trembles with the effort of it, sweat beading on her brow despite the chill in the air; she has received Her desires, before, but she spoke her desires then. To hear Her words -- to speak them -- is no easy task. But as her eyes shine with that fell light she turns them to Elisa, staring through her and not, crucially, to her. She sees all, through her eyes. She sees herself, through Her eyes. And still She does not address her directly, as She names her task: "Nilj sh'ollt u-yll: llph'ou-th'iakth jow ot tiallyfiall jow th'ou Nilj."
And Yuliana's brow knits, as the words work through her, troubled to hear her wife described as a mere shard -- but all her focus is on another existence, right now, and she has never once managed to defy Her will.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"It might work in ways we do not wish," Elisa semi-confirms. It is possible to lie to the horror. It is not possible to fool it.
But these proper nouns...
And there--it is time. Elisa communes, in this way, and the abyss looks back. Elisa listens...
Elisa knows the Speech. She listens, of course. Yuliana welcomes it, but so does Elisa, now that she knows, now that she understands. "Yes. I am the part of You that you have sent. Now, I know this. Now, I understand better my mission."
Yuliana trembles, but...
"Empress," Elisa says, carefully. "You are distressing our wife."
"My purpose is not only to bring her. It is to protect her."
"I understand, now... I have eyes upon this world. The world in which our wife lives until we can deliver her forth."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Haha... let's avoid that," Yuliana laughs, a shade nervous, as she considers what might happen if Elisa's magic worked inadvertently.
And when she Sees those thousand eyes, she relates the speech of ten lips, glanced from between those cracks in the world. She is able to allow Elisa to speak to herself, but --
What she doesn't expect, her eyes widening, is Elisa's gentle correction.
Evidently, she's not the only one shocked, as Yuliana relates: "Jou-w tollia?!" And it is difficult to capture the rising pique of Her voice with her mortal vocal chords, but she tries, and has to take a breath when she is done. She blinks, and looks up to that point in space, her eyes taking on a note of pleading.
"Please," she says, with her own words, "be kind to Yourself... Elya... Elya's right, Empress. Don't -- I don't like it when You talk about yourselves that way..." It's a meek admission, and it's one she couldn't have voiced on her own, without Elisa speaking up for her.
And her head jerks, tendrils behind her ears flaring, as she listens. "Ou," a sigh unlike her own, as her strangely shining eyes return to Elisa, "y sh'ia: jou-w ofia fh'wllfh'ylliat jou-wll twth'j. Jiash, jou-w gh'ou-u u-oth ysh ou-wllsh." And she does her best to relate the more acceptant tone she hears, beyond the Veil. A thing which could be called caring: "... wsh, tou outh llkh'iaosh'ia jou-wll llpou-u, llo ysh u-iall."
Yuliana's eyes shut, but briefly, as she dips her head. "All is well," she echoes Her, in just the way she echoes Elisa. If She recognises that Elisa is doing well... surely Yuliana is happy.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Yes, best to avoid such things.
Elisa is Elisa; she does not fear her Self. She knows, now, what binds her--what holds her here, in this mortal frame. And it is Yuliana.
Elisa does not flinch; she does not move. But neither does she immediately say anything else. She stares into Yuliana's eyes, as Yuliana pleads. It's meek, but... it is there. And suddenly--
Those strangely shining eyes look upon her, and Elisa smiles. "Yes. This is my duty; I will fulfill it with all that I am." She notices, vindicated, Her attempt to comfort Yuliana. All is well, she indicates. Yes...
"The mission continues. The Flowers have been planted; in our space-time locale, the time approaches very soon that I shall return with our wife."
"...But her heart is heavy. This world holds tightly to her... It is difficult for her."
"I will comfort her as best I can. But we must bolster her Self. Empress, I ask of You: give to Yuliana a sign. A sign that she is strong already."
"That will bring us across the final threshold. And I will do the rest, until we return unto You."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Very soon...
Yuliana smiles, when Elisa says that she'll return with her, but there's a weight to it -- a weight Elisa explains, moments later. Her frills flag downwards, but still she nods, with a wordless hum of agreement.
Part of her is afraid of asking anything of the Empress at the End of All Things, but -- Elisa doesn't share Yuliana's trepidation. (She's fearless, Yuliana reflects with admiration, smiling to her wife again.)
And when she hears the Empress, echoing through one reality to the next, she echoes the words. "Th'ou-w Y ofia sh'ia-th Nijsh'iallfh th'ou jou-w, sth'yll jou-w fh'ia:ll gh'y-sh'yph u-yth th'oth u'ou-llt?" And the way Yuliana feels when she heard the question is its own answer -- but for Elisa's sake, she nods, too. "Y sh'ia:," she repeats. "Jou-w niwsth sh'ia: th'oth jou-w piallou th'ou Ni:a, u-yth Ni:a."
Yuliana lifts her hands to clasp them to her heart, the glow from the scrying orb remaining as her fingers leave. Her smile grows warmer, feeling the approval washing over her from Elsewhere. "Mm," she hums, happily, only for that warmth to be challenged at once by the way she starts to shiver. Her hands slip from her chest to clutch at her arms, and her fingertips are pale, as she trembles from the cold. "I-I--" she starts, teeth chattering as all the warmth bleeds from her core, and her endless eyes squeeze shut.
The Void is a cold, cold place -- but right now, she still lives in this world, and she is still mortal enough to need a certain core temperature. Perhaps She has forgotten that -- or perhaps She thought she had made the change gradual enough.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
A weight... Yes, that's true. But indeed--Elisa does not share that fear. Not that one. So she listens, when Yuliana speaks and hears and Speaks, and inclines her head. "It is hard, not to grow attached to what one sees, what one feels," Elisa says comfortingly. "But we are here."
Then, Yuliana feels approval, and... ah. She shivers. Elisa realizes what is happening a moment later--
"Empress," she says warningly, "Yuliana will die of this gift, should you give it. She requires more warmth to sustain her mortal body."
This is the only thing that shows fear from Elisa here--the worry for Yuliana, not for seeing Herself.
"I entreat You, consider a different sort of gift."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Nnn," Yuliana hums through her lips, and she will tremble right out of her skin. "E--El-y-y--" It's the Elisa across from her she pleads for help from, gripped by a chill deeper than she's ever known. She can't quite get the words out, but Elisa realises, anyway --
-- and her meagre warmth returns to her, as the Empress loosens her grip. She lifts her head, her tentacles rising behind her, but it takes her a few moments of ragged breath before she's able to relate the words. "J," she starts, and pants, and takes another breath. "Jou-w ollia kh'owsh'iat tyfh'fh'ykh'wllth'j? T-that's what She said, Elya... yes," she adds, with a long blink. "I--I'm not ready... please, I'm still mortal. I'm not like you..."
She takes another breath, and reports: "Jiash... Y ofia ia-okh'th'iat nio-j kh'o-iash, llph'iash'ia-th th'yniia. Fiallj u-iall. Y u-yll sh'ou-u jou-w u-ia ollia outh tyfh:iallia-th." Yuliana looks up at that point in empty space, eyes widening, and she can but report: "Th'ysh y-sh'th'o-kh'ia, Y u-yll tianiou'sh'th'lloth'ia jou-wll piallou'y ou Nijsh'iallfh."
Her attention comes back to Elisa, and she reaches, for her. "Elya --" She starts, though Elisa hears the Speech just as well as she does. (No -- she knew what She said before even Yuliana.)
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It is the Elisa across from Yuliana who understands mortality. She understands the needs of a physical body in ways her greater Self seems unable. It makes sense, to her. But she watches, as Yuliana is able to relate what is said...
She smiles, when Yuliana is returned to herself, and then is thoughtful, when Yuliana reports what is said next. The empty space; the eyes widening... yes, Elisa hears that Speech as well as Yuliana. Perhaps better, in this moment, as she feels Her settle upon her.
"In this way, we will show Yuliana our love," Elisa says, without hesitation.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Elisa doesn't hesitate, and Yuliana is soothed by her acceptance, hand lowering to grasp the scrying orb once more. (The green lines on that black surface flare, with her touch.) She knows what's about to happen; she's felt it herself, when it happened to her. But if Elisa is happy with it...
And surely it would be painful to a mortal woman, the way those filaments grow along the lower edge of Elisa's ears, a fringe not unlike an axolotl's gill. These tendrils are so much smaller than the thick tentacles behind Yuliana's ears, and much more modest in length, but the common genesis is clear: they are both strange mirrors of the Void's changeability.
"Th'oth jou-w lloia kh'o-iat niogh'iash jou-w llsth'ou," she says, when she hears Her words. "Jou-w ollia niou-llia ph'iallfh'iakth th'o jou-w u-iallia. Osh Y oni..."
And Yuliana smiles, if only because Elisa welcomed it. "As You are," she agrees, hushed, before her attention comes back to the Elisa in front of her again. "You're beautiful," she assures her, smiling. "Yes... we belong somewhere else, don't we...?"
This second attempt, at least, seems much more successful in soothing her heart. No wonder she's so attached to this world, when she only sees what she left behind -- and not where she will go.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
One might wonder why Elisa is so ready to embrace the unknown; is it because she trusts Herself? That would seem unlikely. Is it because she loves Yuliana so? Assuredly. But could it also be...
A scientist's hunger for discovery? Even if she becomes a part of what which she studies?
It may be. Elisa notices 'pain', signals from her body that she should be alarmed, that a Change is occurring, but she is so suffused with the energy of the Void that it is not a difficult change at all, requires far less unmaking to remake. And she feels it, engages with the sensation. It is strange...
But not so strange. It is familiar, in its way--all too familiar.
"Yes," Elisa says. She smiles, at Yuliana. "I am more as you are, now, my darling. We are beautiful, together."
Yes, she seems far more soothed than she did before. It is well.
"You shall see the beauty in what comes. I assure you of it."
"And it comes soon. Empress, I believe all is in readiness. Is there more You would have of us, in our preparations?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana has felt such hunger, from the Void. It would not surprise her, knowing that Elisa was hungry for knowledge, just the same.
And Elisa takes to the Change so admirably; of course Yuliana knows it must hurt, but she can see that Elisa embraces it. (Embraces existing as she does.) She smiles, all but glowing, as she takes in the Change Elisa has undergone.
"I trust you," she says, and she means it. It comes soon...
It's wonderful. Isn't it?
She looks up, up, up to what seems to all sight to be nondescript brick. "Jou-w ofia tou'ia u-iall," she reports, "ot jou-w u-yll kh'ou'th'y-wia th'ou- llph'ou-th'iakth u-oth ysh Niy-ia."
And Yuliana takes a breath, and assures Her: "Elya's always protected me. She's always put my safety first... always."
A brief pause: "Kou:t. Llo ysh u-iall." And Yuliana feels that all is well, as much as She says it, and Her satisfaction is its own balm. But her muscles still tremble, as she grasps the scrying orb, and she looks across it to Elisa.
"I... I'm tired, Elya. I don't, normally... this much, it's still hard for me..." And there's a vague edge to her words, a touch of faintness she can no longer conquer in her voice.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa is already so changed, though it is in ways less obvious to the eye than the newest. This... This, she will consider, and meditate upon. Yes, she will embrace it. And Yuliana? Yuliana gives her trust, once again.
"Thank you," Elisa says, "And I will. I will protect Yuliana from any who would harm her. And more."
Then, Yuliana assures Her... and Elisa smiles. She notices, the way that Yuliana trembles though. And this much...
"If She is satisfied, and you are satisfied, then I am satisfied. Release the spell, my darling." A little faintness she can't conquer...
"I will catch you. It is time to rest."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yes," Yuliana murmurs, as she releases the scrying orb again. In truth, it's not her contact with the Voidframe that sustains the spell -- there remains too much of herself, in this place, just by virtue of her offering -- but when she sinks down, threatening to slump upon the ground by the orb, so too does she turn her gaze from Her.
How fortunate that she knelt on the ground, in this magic circle. It is important she not fall, after such an ordeal. And now, as she tumbles down --
Elisa said she would catch her, and Yuliana trusts her to do just that.