2023-08-28: Undamaged Goods
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Yuta Hibiki
- Where: Tsutsujidai: Yuta Hibiki's Apartment
- Date: U.C. 0097 08 28
- Summary: Readjusting to everyday life is difficult. Yuta, after a sleepless night, reaches out to Akane Shinjo for advice.
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
>Hi, this is Akane Shinjo's VERTEX, right?
>Sorry, I guess we don't really know each other.
>I was wondering if we could talk.
---
Yuta Hibiki, after wandering the streets of Tsutsujidai for a few hours, began to notice the same suit-clad figure again and again, out of the corner of his eye. Though he knows the name of this figure (Samurai Calibur, his hazy memory supplies), Yuta doesn't /know/ him. Too shy to risk a confrontation in the street, the young man trudged back to his apartment.
Inside is dark and quiet. At least it's been cleaned -- even if the dreamlike recollection of Gridman and his comrades inside his home makes Yuta feel nauseous. The door was slammed and locked shut.
After a night spent awake on the couch, staring at his unremarkable phone, he finally got brave, or desperate, enough to text Akane Shinjo. The goddess who created this city. If anyone will know what he should do next, it'd be her.
Yuta looks terrible. He hasn't changed out of his school uniform, his hair is an unwashed mess, and dark bags linger under his eyes.
Should Akane come to his door, Yuta will open it the second she knocks. "Thank you, /so/ much, for coming to meet me. Uh."
She's been here before. Yuta squeezes his eyes shut against the intrusive half-memory.
"...sit down, if you want."
He leads the way to the couch -- after closing the door again -- and sits heavily.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
> Sure.
> I mean, we were still in the same class in first year.
> See you soon.
-=-=-=-
Akane's a little nervous about delaying her trip out one more day; she has to make a couple of phone calls en route to Yuta's place to reschedule her exit from the city at the last minute. She shouldn't stay too much longer, and the idea of attending the first day of the new term remote does kind of bug her, but...
... she does owe it to Yuta Hibiki, if she owes it to anyone. His life's been disrupted so much, for so long; she can handle a disruption of one more day.
She arrives at Yuta's place, and when she sees him, she's instantly a little nervous; she pushes a hand through her dark hair, heading in. Taking a seat on the couch, she asks a simple question:
"What do you want to talk about?"
She knows he's going to have a ton of questions, and probably a ton of frustrations, too; heaven knows she would. She doesn't want to push him toward any particular answers, though; the least she can do is afford him agency in this much.
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta looks a little surprised by Akane's question. He... hadn't actually thought about what he wants to talk about. There's so /much/, Yuta has no idea where to start.
"I guess..." It's hard to make eye contact with Akane. There's so much warmth and pride in Gridman's memories toward her. Yuta's never experienced anything like it, and it's unsettling. "I... don't know what to do, and I thought, um."
With a steadying breath, Yuta looks back to Akane's face. "I thought you might have some advice? Or... anything, really, um."
Awkward silence stretches out for a few moments.
"So it turns out my parents aren't real." Yuta blurts out, then laughs nervously. "Kinda crazy, right? I tried to call them, and the phone said their number wasn't in service. No record on the Internet of them, either."
Yuta glances away again. "Two years. Nothing /I/ knew was real, and everything that /was/ real was someone who wasn't me. And, um. Kind of an intense act to follow, I guess, and..."
"Akane." Blue eyes squeeze closed. "Did anyone miss me?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane lets Yuta wind his way around to questions. It's a totally unreal thing, and she gets why it'd be both upsetting and confusing; she had full continuity of perception and her experience with Alexis was still alienating and disorienting. She can't imagine how it'd be for Yuta.
Rubbing at the back of her head, she says, "I'll do my best," with a slightly anxious grin. The first blurted-out topic gets an awkward glance down. "... yeah," she affirms, at first, about Yuta's parents. "That one's... kinda on me. The limits of my imagination, I guess."
The conversation stretches out a little further, though. "I think that's kinda unfair. For the first year and change, people didn't realize you were gone. Even after that a lot of people didn't find out. It did pretty much look like you got memory loss and that was it." She has to think about it for a few moments. 'Did anyone miss me...' The question is complicated.
She looks up to Yuta, thinking harder. "I think it's... easy for people to find excuses. Even my parents didn't miss me. The big rumor after I came here was apparently that I killed myself and everyone was pretty content with that answer." She's winding around to something, bit by bit -- but what?
"I think Utsumi was more worried about you than he might have looked," she pitches, tentatively.
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
"Thank you. " Yuta looks relieved at Akane's smile, not picking up the undercurrent of anxiety it carries. "It's not your fault. It'd be ridiculous to blame you for something like that. We're just... in a really weird situation."
Akane's telling the truth. Even Gridman himself didn't realize his identity until, well. Yuta tries very hard not to touch the smooth scar at his side.
"Right, but isn't that... worse, a little?" Yuta fidgets in place. "Nobody noticed I wasn't myself? I get the memory loss, but... Even Utsumi..."
Yuta wanted to be missed. He wanted his absence to be noticed, and remarked on.
When Akane talks about her own experience, Yuta's eyes go wide. They're /so/ blue, in comparison to Gridman's gold. It's almost like seeing Gridman's eyes in photo-negative. Even though Yuta isn't close to Akane, he looks distressed at the example she comes up with.
"W--wait, really? Your own parents were that awful, and... nobody from school..." Yuta can't quite bring himself to speak the reality of Akane's situation out loud. That would make it too real, at least to him. It's a tiny bit of cowardice.
Yuta looks away. "That's, um. That's good, I guess. I've been ignoring Utsumi's messages so far, because of all this. I should reply... Later though."
"Most of all, I guess, I have no idea what to do now. Everyone knows 'me' as someone entirely different. I could never do all that stuff /he/ did!" Yuta leans forward, letting his bangs overshadow his eyes. "I just want to disappear. There's no way to recover from something like this. I don't even feel like I'm in my own body anymore."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
She scoots a little closer to Yuta; she finds it difficult to get close to boys, but... he needs that, and she's been improving lately. She has to think really hard about his questions, though; they're difficult questions, and she gets the complex situation.
She was so much 'bigger' than Yuta for so long. She needs to watch where she's stepping.
"I don't know if they were awful," Akane admits. "They just... made choices that mostly didn't involve me." She doesn't want to make this about her own trauma -- not right now -- and besides... was her own upbringing really /that/ bad?
"You should probably text him back before things get too weird," she says, before moving on to the last part. Her lips push together a bit, and her expression turns serious.
"... again, kinda soft same. Like, everyone knew the ex-class rep with the cool hair, not..." She gestures at herself as she is now -- all dark hair and scars and unassuming normal human. "... this. But even after I left, people were still, like, rooting for me. I think they'll come together for you, too."
The hand further away from Yuta clenches slightly. "You know there's a Yumi Foundation branch in town, right? They do aid stuff for," here she trails off, eventually mumbling her way through, "people who get hurt in wars and stuff. People with no parents."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta looks up as Akane scoots closer, giving her a grateful smile. He doesn't attempt to touch her, but the gesture is more than warm enough to soothe Yuta's frayed nerves. He's surprised that Akane can take such a measured, even kind, perspective toward her parents. Yuta isn't sure how to remark on it, and so simply nods to her with a nervous smile.
"Yeah, I will." Another nod. It feels awkward to repeat the gesture so quickly. "...I think your hair is still pretty cool. Not saying that my opinion really, like, matters or anything, just..."
Yuta trails off.
"I kinda know what the Yumi Foundation is. I'm not a war orphan or anything, though, it seems like I'd be taking a spot from someone who needs it more." Yuta mumbles. "Do you think it'd be better if... You left Tsutsujidai after everything, right? And that's been a good decision for you. Do you think I should do the same thing?"
Another fidget. "Not that I really have anywhere else to go. I guess that's me wanting to run away, really. Would people even believe me if I told them what happened..? I'm afraid."
Yuta hesitates.
Yuta clears his throat.
"I'm afraid they'll just want /him/ back. I'm pretty lame in comparison. I'm going to have to quit the dance club..."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
(In truth, Akane has to force that feeling a bit. She's still bitter toward her parents. ... but that's not what Yuta needs right now, probably -- he doesn't even have parents to be mad at, and that's kind of on her. She'll figure it out.)
The compliment does strike true, and Akane says, "Thanks -- it's kinda a work in progress. I think I want it a teeny bit longer after all," with a nod.
She doesn't linger in that easy spot, though. "Hibiki-kun," Akane starts. She levels her gaze at him, at some strain. "I'm pretty sure Sayla started that whole branch to help people who got caught up in my stupid mess. And I don't think there's anyone who got more caught up in my stupid mess than you."
"I get why you'd think that, but it's probably not gonna help." She sighs, saying, "It didn't work for me either."
The self-effacement as a defense mechanism, the lack of interest in getting help he clearly, desperately needs... where on Earth would Yuta have gotten this stuff?
(Oh, right.)
"Ehhh. I don't remember you needing a math tutor," Akane says, quite matter-of-factly. "How much cooler than you can someone who can't pass high school geometry be?" She laughs lightly at her own mean joke, saying, "I mean, incredible friend, one of the most important people in my life, but... Hibiki-kun's probably better at daily life."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Akane says Yuta's name, and he looks up, blinking -- once.
"If you're sure..." Yuta says, his brow furrowing. "I don't want you to think I blame you or anything, okay? That's important to me. I can't remember every detail of what happened, but I've got enough, that, um. I know it wasn't... This wasn't what you wanted. I know you didn't mean for me to wind up like this."
"Or pretty much anything that happened." Yuta adds, more quietly. "But I'm glad you're safe. That's what matters."
Yuta, practically mirroring Akane, sighs as well. "If /you/ couldn't figure it out, there's no way I can. I guess I'm staying put for now. It'd suck to transfer schools with this timing, anyway."
Blue eyes widen, and Yuta cracks a smile. For all his ability as a Giant of Light, Gridman sure couldn't manage school. At least there's /something/ Yuta has the advantage in.
"Ha... haha..!" Yuta laughs quietly. "Haha... I guess I do know how to fold laundry, and pass tests, and handle phone calls... Well, not so much that last one." A little self-effacing smile. "Maybe I have a shot at entrance exams after all. I've been feeling like he took my entire future with him when he left."
Another pause. "...I'm happy for you and Rikka. It was pretty shocking at first, but, um. It's clear how much you mean to each other."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The forgiveness is nice -- compared to how much it feels like Yuta's struggling, it's a heartening sign. Akane wonders if she's worthy of it, but tries not to wonder over-long.
"Yeah, it would. Mid-year transfers are rough... even I finished out second year at Tsutsujidai, even if it was remote." Thinking about that for a few moments, she muses, "Montserrat's not bad, though."
Glancing down, Akane notes teasingly, "You should actually do your laundry, if you know how to fold it. Everything's easier with a clean wardrobe," before moving on. "I definitely wanna do my best for entrance exams -- Rikka and I are studying, and I know she's got a couple other study partners too. I'm game for that, too." The U-FITS looms pretty large in Akane's head -- it's /close/, now, or at least it feels that way...
... they get to the bombshell, though, and Akane smiles. "Thanks. She's... incredible. Every day I find a new reason to think she's incredible. You had a crush on her too, right? And like... big enough for me to spot it through Gridman." A little guilt creeps in, there -- but Akane manages to push it back down, for now. "I think you'll find someone incredible, too. I never thought things would work out like that for me, but here we are."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
"They put off the first day of school until Wednesday here, at least. It still seems pretty fast after everything the city's been through..." Yuta looks nervous. "But I guess that's how it goes with this stuff... It's pretty strange to suddenly be in my final year of high school."
He looks down at his hands. "Maybe I need a new look or something, to make sure people know I'm /me/, and not /him/. I'm not good at that stuff though."
"He and those, um. Other guys." Yuta says, vaguely. "Actually tidied this place up and did all the laundry. So at least that's done for a while. I guess they bought the apartment complex, too, so I won't have to worry about how I'm going to pay rent. I still need to find a job, though..." Food isn't cheap, after all.
Yuta manages a little smile. "You two are going to do great. I'll try to study too, when things are a little more normal."
It's a little difficult to talk about Rikka... But it's important. Yuta knows if he doesn't bring it up now, he'll lose his nerve, and it'll go unspoken for the rest of his life.
"The last thing I can remember as /me/ is confessing to Rikka." Yuta blushes a little, embarrassed. "She turned me down, but she was really nice about it. It's still pretty, um... Pretty fresh feeling, I guess? Even though that was nearly two years ago."
Yuta puffs out a little sigh. "It's a little weird that /he/ inherited those feelings. It must've been hard for Rikka to deal with after already giving me an answer." Blue eyes blink widely as Akane expresses her faith in Yuta's romantic future. "Oh, uh, thanks! I'm not so sure. I feel like... damaged goods, or something. But it's not impossible, I guess."
"Ugh." Yuta taps one finger against his other fist, nervously. "/He/ had two partners. And one was a boy! And they kissed!" The tapping speeds up, his voice agitated. "I don't know what to do with that! Does that count as /my/ first kiss? What do I even say to them now, 'stay away from me'? That's hardly fair to them."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Hmmm... well, you've definitely got time to think about it. Winter uniforms are coming up," Akane points out. "Plus, like, the school rules are still pretty lax about this stuff? You could do some different stuff for sure."
She scootches forward a bit, but still glances back at Yuta. At the mention of /food insecurity/, she looks direly worried. "There's no way the Yumi Foundation doesn't have a food grant program for your kind of situation. You're probably paid up on school lunch for a while, too?" This part's now kind of anxiety-inducing for /her/, too...
"That sounds like her," Akane agrees, as they wind back around to Rikka. "Still, like -- confessing? As a guy? I think you're a lot braver than you probably feel right now." Akane has a healthy appreciation for the things that are harder for boys than girls in her culture, at least. She can be kind about that much.
When Gridman, Kaworu, and Rei come up, though... "I mean, I think..." She has to think about it. "'I'm not Gridman, respect that' is a good start. See how they take it and figure it out from there? If they can't respect that that's kinda on them at that point."
Her expression gets gravely serious as she hooks on a thing she didn't yet respond to. Leveling with Yuta, she says, "Damaged goods is a fake idea. If I don't think someone can make it after everything that's happened with me, I'd be a pretty big hypocrite."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
"Winter uniforms.." Yuta looks away. "It snowed yesterday, right as I woke up. I didn't know that could happen here."
At Akane's worry over food, Yuta looks a little surprised. Is it really that big a deal? He's going to have to provide for himself at some point, either way. But... It doesn't seem like the kind of thing to argue with her.
"I'll ask the Yumi Foundation about food programs when I talk to them." He reassures her, something in his heart unable to do anything but try and relieve her worry. "I haven't thought about school lunch... Um. I'll figure it out, I promise. There's still a day before school starts, that's enough to come up with something. I can always just bring a lunch from home, I've got enough to manage for a little while."
Gridman's friends did that much for him, as well. In some ways, it's embarrassing and invasive, and in others... Who else can he turn to? If there was ever a moment to swallow his pride, 'making sure you can eat' is a pretty good one.
Yuta rubs the back of his head, smiling a little more as Akane praises him. "Thanks. Confessing to Rikka is definitely the scariest thing I've ever done. She told me she didn't have romantic feelings toward men, so -- at least it wasn't a personal reason for getting turned down. Rikka really couldn't have been kinder about it. Then, or when /he/ confessed, either."
Even to Yuta, it feels like 'long ago'. Gridman, stringing fairy lights in a tree in the park, preparing a picnic... That was a lot more than Yuta had done. Another sour point of comparison.
"Right." Yuta murmurs. "I guess it's likely I won't see them again either. I can't imagine I'll be doing any more fighting. Are -- um. Are you and Rikka going to keep piloting? If you guys are..."
How much of a coward would he be to let his friends go into battle without him? Yuta squeezes his eyes closed.
"I guess that'd be pretty personal to you. Sorry." Yuta offers, sincerely, looking back to Akane. "I wasn't thinking. It's hard to imagine any kind of future right now, especially one where my 'best days' weren't acted out by someone else. But I guess..."
Another little smile. It rests on Yuta's face differently than it did Gridman's -- though both are guileless, Yuta's is far more reserved. All of the inexhaustible energy of the Hyper Agent has been replaced with anxiety, it seems. At least, perhaps, in this moment.
"I guess we're both lucky we're alive. It's a gift I don't want to waste, no matter what." Yuta works very, very hard on keeping eye contact. "If you can move forward after everything, I think I can too."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Hehe... yeah. It's a weird feeling. I kinda like it now." But then, despite summer being Akane's favorite season, she's come to a certain fondness for snowflakes.
"Look, uh -- if nothing else, I bet Marusan will be good for it. If she's weird about it, tell her you're cashing in what she owes me for food." Akane never intended to cash that particular debt in for herself; she likes feeding people. But if by cashing it in, she can help get Yuta out of a bad spot... Marusan can deal.
He took it really well, too, Akane reflects. She hadn't realized that he'd gotten an answer before Gridman dwelled in him; that warms her heart, in a bit of a sideways way. "She's... great," Akane says, earnest and serious. "I think if a boy confessed to me I'd just suck and die about it forever instead."
He brings up the two of them piloting again. "I don't mind the question," Akane says, shaking her head. "It sounds like Rikka's definitely going to do something. Rescue work and piloting often kinda end up the same deal, and she's got her heart set on that for now. For me... I don't know. I don't feel the same kind of way I did when I got into GaoFighGar. I don't know if I could do that anymore. I guess we'll see. I'm doing training with 3G Intelligence, though, so I guess I'll at least be kinda next to this stuff too."
When Yuta says they're both lucky they're alive -- that he doesn't want to waste that gift -- Akane's smile softens a bit. It's definitely the least worried she's been for a while. "... Yeah. We'll both make it. Hey, uh -- don't be afraid to like... call again, okay? I should get going pretty soon, since I've still gotta get back to Earth, but..."
Nodding, she affirms, "I want to be Hibiki-kun's friend, too."