2023-03-08: Punch It Out
- Log: Punch It Out
- Cast: Liam 7-020, Banagher Links, Judau Ashta
- Where: The Old Lab, PPL
- OOC - IC Date: U.C. 0097-03-08
- Summary: While visiting Banagher, Liam is introduced to Judau Ashta -- and their shared history involving Dublin is explored and addressed in the best way Judau knows how. ALSO FEATURING: Super Mario Spacekart!
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
The Old Lab's lobby is dark and silent, just like most of the building. It's a necessary fiction--it's technically slated for demolition the moment Japan's need to reuse space outweighs its admiration for one of its homegrown heroes. The doors are locked. There shouldn't be a soul inside.
SSS-rank clearance can get you places, including a lab that's technically no longer functional. Liam stands in the shadows behind a pillar, having gotten past the locks with his PPL ID. There's just one problem: He doesn't know where Banagher is, nor does he want to attract additional attention--as if subtlety were an option after what the Vist Foundation did.
But the least he can do is check in on him.
Liam sets off down the hallway leading deeper into the building. He's dressed in civilian clothes, and not a vacuum-ready hardsuit, but he still remembers when he scared Banagher on that ghost ship. After peering into a few rooms, Liam finally speaks up.
"Banagher?" His voice echoes a little.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
One part of the Old Lab, at least, is well-lit. Though it's only been lived in for a short time, it feels homey. A video game console has been connected to a television, both objects haphazardly balanced on a table in a central living area. Two of the adjacent bedrooms have their doors open -- though only one looks used, really.
"--Koji said it's important to do fun things and act like a kid still." Banagher's voice floats to Liam. "I don't know... It makes sense. If Vist grinds us down, I won't be able to pilot well. But I haven't really -- done stuff like that since my mother died. There hasn't been time."
A familiar presence brushes against Banagher's awareness. Distracted, he looks away from Judau, toward Liam's approaching footsteps. By now, Banagher is capable of recognizing his friend by the feeling of his soul alone.
"Liam?" Banagher calls. "We're over here!"
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
There's something to be said for familiar places in an unfamiliar land.
Not that Earth is especially unfamiliar for Judau Ashta -- especially with circumstances now seeing him actually living planetside for the time being. But it's in space where the young man feels the most comfortable; that's probably never going to change. But here...
He might have only known the people of PPL during some of the worst of times, but it still doesn't stop the old labs from striking a certain, familiar chord of nostalgia. It helps him relax.
"It makes sense 'cause he's right. Listen, 'cause this is important: now's when you gotta make the time, because if you keep sayin' you don't have any, eventually you're gonna wait where the hell did that planet come from?! Bullshit!!"
You know. Relatively.
This is the sound of Judau Ashta, heard from the halls; when Liam makes his way to the only part of the Old Lab still in use, he'll find the former space junker sitting at the edge of his seat, furiously jamming controls as he makes use of that console like there's no tomorrow playing SUPER MARIO SPACEKART, because some legends never die.
When Liam arrives, Judau blinks, looks up, and upnods in simple, casual greeting.
"Oh. Yo. ... Guy."
He is still playing the game even with his attention off it. Is this the power of a Newtype...?!
--why's he crashing into so many planets though--
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
A second voice, one Liam recognizes from the Banshee fight. The one who seemed to know the presence inside it. He follows Banagher's voice, walking further down the hall and into the living portion of the lab. He turns a corner, steps through a doorframe, and looks down.
"Banagher," the big man says, with a gentle--almost brotherly--smile. Bright blue eyes glance over towards the older man as he greets him. "...Hello," he says. "I'm Liam. Banagher's friend. You're...?" Crashing into so many planets. Liam... is still not into video games, but even he gets a little entranced by the frantic action onscreen. After a moment, though, he turns back to Banagher.
"Wanted to check in," he says. "I hope I'm not intruding."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Banagher laughs as Judau goes careening into a planet, his own spacekart managing to make the turn in one piece. "You've got to drift on the curves like that, just hold down the trigger on the back..."
Mirroring Judau, Banagher turns his gaze to Liam with a smile, while his hands keep playing SPACEKARTS. Though his skill takes a noticeable hit -- Banagher's little kart careening off the track.
Since the last time Liam saw Banagher, the young pilot seems to have deteriorated. Dark circles hang under his eyes, and he seems to have lost some weight -- his ever-present hoodie hanging from his shoulders just a bit.
"It's great to see you Liam. Not at all! You want to play?" Banagher pauses the game, finally, as a floating Haro pulls his spacekart back onto the track. A little grin comes to his face. "Coach's orders, I'm supposed to do dumb teenage stuff."
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
You've got to drift on the curves like that, just--
"Wait, I gotta stay on the track?? What the hell!"
Judau absolutely, one hundred percent felt like he should be able to do sweet banks off of planets and not just crash and die the second he deviated from the track.
And thus is a crucial component of the eldest Ashta's piloting approach and also general philosophy in life revealed.
He's grumbling a little bit at the game's lack of willingness to let him completely ignore its rules by the time Liam enters. He looks sidelong at the slightly-emaciated Banagher. Then back at Liam. Friends, huh.
"Heh heh. You're right on time!"
And so, Judau stands up off his seat with a stretch, jabbing a thumb at his chest as he does. "Judaaauuhh--" he says, mostly intelligibly, through a stretch-inspired yawn. "Judau Ashta. Currently crashing here" because Boss' ramen is king "to make sure Banagher doesn't do some stupid non-teenage stuff."
Well. ... it's mostly the spoken thing. People should never do stupid things without a stupid degree of support.
It's at this point Judau approaches Liam, shoving his controls into the taller man's hands, gesturing. "Here. Help him be dumb. He keeps kickin' my ass."
Making you -stay on track-.
Is -ridiculous-.
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
A frown settles onto Liam's face as he looks Banagher over. "...Are you all right?" he asks. It's one thing to be anxious about being hunted--that's something Liam knows all too well--but Banagher looks like he hasn't gotten decent sleep in days, if not longer.
Judau clarifies why he's here. "I'm glad," Liam says.
Does he want to play? "Never played this before," Liam says. He's played puzzle games before--these days, as well as the misty past of his life before Dublin--but this is different. But he takes the controller, and sits down beside Banagher. He's not sure what to do until he pushes the joystick forwards and the little kart begins to move. "Racing game?" he asks. A bit of forbidden nostalgia creeps into Liam's eyes. It echoes in his heart. He asked his parents for games like this, but the windfalls had to go to other things.
And then his parents died, and his childhood died with them.
Liam takes a breath, caught off-guard by the unexpected emotion. The little kart starts to slow.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"Of course you do! How else are you going to cross the finish line?" Banagher chides, playfully. "Leina told me you were a cool motorcycle-riding guy back on Shangri-La, were you always going off the road then, too?"
The answer is probably yes.
Is Banagher alright? The young man looks back at the game suddenly. "...uh. I haven't been sleeping great, you know..." He's evasive. "Training a lot."
"Liam and I have been friends for a while now. We've fought side by side... a dozen times, probably." Banagher's voice is warm. "He's a great person. I trust him."
Judau hands off his controller to Liam, and Banagher leans back in his chair. "You weren't doing that bad! You were just," The young pilot tries to think of a nice spin on Judau's unique decisions. "playing by different rules. It'd be cooler if you could bounce off the planets anyway."
Excitement sparkles in Banagher's eyes as Liam sits down with him. "Yeah! You just follow the track." Only a slight emphasis put on that last part. "Hold down the green button to move forward, red to move back. Control stick to steer -- oh, and you can drift by holding down the trigger at the back!"
Banagher unpauses the game and they begin to drive -- but Liam's sudden swell of emotion reaches Banagher, as well. "Hey, are you okay? We don't have to play this. Leina gave me a bunch of other games -- or we can just hang out. It doesn't have to be video games. There's even a pool, as long as the lab isn't going to use it anytime soon."
"By the way..." Banagher says, casually. "Have you two been sleeping okay? Any weird dreams?"
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
"Who wins a race stayin' on the road?!"
i-is that serious? it sounds serious--
"Wait. She said 'cool,' huh? Heh heh heh."
Judau Ashta swipes the bottom of his nose with his thumb, grinning the most smug grin in all known space.
And so it was this day Judau Ashta retroactively justified every single stupid stunt he's ever pulled on anything he's ever ridden, driven, or piloted...en.
Not that he needed it.
But it's good to have something to lord over your siblings when you get caught doing said stupid stunts. And now, Judau has the most dread of powers: an Ego Buffer...!
This is a grim portent of the future, but fortunately, has no bearing on the here and now save a strange feeling of impending disaster on the horizon. As it stands, the (other) man from Jupiter (sort of) takes a comfortable post off to the side of Banagher and Liam as the latter takes his seat; hands tucked into his back pockets, the hotheaded spacenoid just scoffs both at Banagher's Space Kart Charity (to which he can only mumble "'course it would be" as if it would be only natural to rebound off the surface of a planet for a sick space trick; Judau Dreams Big) and to his advice to Liam to stay on the track. This, in fact, inspires a "pffffft" so mighty it blows thick brown bangs briefly upwards with the force of its guffaw.
"Bet there's a way you can hack it," is his lone claim. ... it might be wise to make sure Judau is not left alone with the video game console, or Super Mario Space Kart, for both of their continued safety.
Still -- he looks pretty pleased his plan to get both of these two to just relax and game seems to have paid off -- he doesn't know Liam, but Judau is a creature of gut feelings, and his gut feeling tells him Liam is someone who could use it just as much as Banagher. He considers the taller, younger man for a few quiet seconds as he catches onto that wellspring of emotion; thick brows furrow, and his head cants. It feels... familiar.
"You all good?" he echoes Banagher. Emotions are so often tied to memories, painted as they are by sentiments. And this sentiment strikes a chord that reminds him of...
It's Banagher that stirs him from the cusp of his own unpleasant memories resonating in Liam's; he'd have PLENTY to say about swimming around in a pool used for super science (read: it's totally awesome and you'd probably get super powers), but--
Have you two been sleeping okay? Any weird dreams?
"..." Judau lifts a hand, rubbing the back of his neck, as his expression turns towards the pensive. "... Yeah. You're gettin' 'em too, huh?" He knows exactly what Banagher's talking about. After all, how couldn't he?
It's her.
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
Liam casts a sidelong glance at Banagher, his brow furrowed. He's not buying that, not for a moment. He presses the green button, and is rewarded with a burst of acceleration; he pulls the stick to keep from driving off the track immediately. At least here he doesn't have to worry about seeming skilled and cool in front of his peers--
"...Never got the chance to play like this," he says, his eyes darkening. "My parents didn't have the money for a console like this. Just tablet games. Not something to play with friends." There is a sensation not unlike tiptoeing around the edge of a pit, on the emotional plane.
Then Banagher mentions 'weird dreams' and Liam turns to face him, eyes wide. "What," he says, sudden worry in his voice. "What kind of weird dreams?"
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"W--well." Banagher looks away from Judau. "She didn't exactly use that word. But it sounded awesome to me. In an irresponsible kind of way."
Banagher certainly has no idea what he's unleashed. Sorry, Leina...
Judau's guffaw gets a sideways glance from Banagher, and a grin. "What, he's new! I had to look up all this online!"
"My mom never had money for stuff like this either. It's all really new to me." Banagher says to Liam, hoping to provide a lifeline to his friend through shared experience. "She did her best for me, that's all that matters."
Judau knows what Banagher means immediately. "Yeah. They never stop." Then, for Liam: "Ever since the Banshee was chased off from the PPL, almost every night, I have this dream of a little girl with no face. She reaches out with a thousand hands, and skitters around like a spider. She tells me she can find me anywhere I go."
"It's -- painful, spiritually, and -- scary. Smothering." Banagher's voice gets softer, and his spacekart slows. "I know it's her. The Banshee's pilot. It's coming for me, it's only a matter of time."
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
"Heh. Damn right it was!"
It's too late; the seed is planted. Now begins the age of Irresponsible Captain Ashta...!
As if such a thing or something like it wasn't inevitable -already-.
Arms crossing at the back of his head, Judau considers Banagher and Liam's bonding over similar backgrounds with a cocked head and lifted brows. It's something he can at least identify with in spirit -- the idea of having so little. Still... there's something Liam's -not- saying, and Judau considers him with a critical, seagreen eye for a few seconds.
He lets Banagher provide that emotional support for now, though; it's important for them, even - perhaps especially - Judau knows that. Instead, he mentions: "That's when you start findin' stuff you can do with friends on your own," quite helpfully. "Like mooch." Less helpfully. "Like one time, me an' Beecha an' Elle an' Mondo mooched" stole "some Balls for scrap-gatherin' an' stuff but one day we just went off all demolition derby style an'--"
this is not helpful at all judau
He extrapolates the finer details of the eloquence of Ball Battling (his words) before the topic of dreams come up. Liam has no idea -- maybe Puru isn't targeting him, maybe he's just not receptive. But as Banagher explains, spacekart slowing, Judau's expression becomes unreadable.
"Elpeo was good at findin' people, if she was motivated," he says, after a time. Finding Newtypes. "... s'probably why they're using her." How, though? There was someone in that cockpit. But it couldn't have been Puru, because...
"S'not gonna stop, until we stop it." He knows those dreams. He gets them, every night. The pain, the fear. He knows them acutely.
It just makes him that much more resolved to find -her-.
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
"Mm," Liam says, considering Banagher thoughtfully as the race grinds to a halt. "Mom and Dad tried, too. They tried so hard. It's why I'm still alive." Again, there's the edge of a deep, yawning well of grief. He feels Judau's eyes on him for a moment, and then looks away.
But the dreams. "Sorry. Last time this happened--something like it--people started vanishing. A kaiju was helping brainwash them." He was one of them. "But... it's this girl? Elpeo Puru?" A pause. "Leina told me a little about her. Told me she was someone like me."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"Koji says he used to ride motorcycles like that too. Did you guys ever ride around together?" Banagher asks, envisioning a really cool scene. Maybe he should get a motorcycle too... No, Leina would hate that.
Golden eyes sparkle with an exhausted kind of mirth. "Leina hasn't told me these stories. The closest I ever got to something like that was stealing a petite mobile suit to save Audrey."
Banagher seems to enjoy the Ball Battling discussion, that tired smile staying on his face. "How did you guys never get arrested?"
Cheerful spacekart music plays, echoing through the room even as Banagher's and Liam's karts both come to a slow halt. "...I know. I can't do this alone. But I can't get her out of my head, even when I'm awake. Knowing she's suffering." Banagher closes his eyes, his hands shaking on the controller.
"...Judau and Leina knew her best of anyone." Banagher says, of Elpeo. "I only know what Leina's told me. But we have to save her. Bringing a dead child back and twisting her into piloting that thing... it's monstrous."
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
"Nah. By the time we met up with Koji, things were all..."
Judau's right hand abandons its spot at the back of his head to swivel one finger up in the air.
"... y'know. All fucked."
He really can't describe it better than that.
"Plus people were keepin' a pretty close eye on me an' I didn't even know what country you're supposed to go to to find the best motorcycle to swipe."
...
This, of course, pairs well with: "Ehhhh. There was a couple close calls, I guess? We had t'bail out Mondo a couple of times, got whupped pretty good once or twice. But mostly the authorities are, y'know," finger swivel again, "pretty sucky. Not too hard to outrun 'em! I got a couple of good tricks for avoiding the cops, I'll teach 'em to you sometime."
JUDAU ASHTA - POSITIVE LIFE INFLUENCE
Outside of that, though -- that familiar note around Liam's buried anguish deepens as he talks -- as he and Banagher speak about Elpeo. Judau's hands fall back to his sides as he considers. His parents were never a part of his life, not really. But...
"Then they did good," Judau says, slowly, for Liam's sake, "right? I dunno. If it were me in their shoes... I'd feel pretty happy just knowin' you got here, safe."
He knows. After all... it's the same way he feels about Leina.
And it's the way he felt about Puru, in the end. Which makes the loss of her at Dublin sting all the harder, even now... which makes -whatever- is happening to her now spark anger in him for the people responsible.
"Elpeo has problems, just like the rest of us," he says, after a time, a frown at his lips. "But she just wanted people who'd accept her. Who wouldn't make her fight. She gave her life back in Dublin, tryin' to--" protect me
"--protect the people important to her. An' even then, she stayed with us, helping us when we needed it most. She deserves to know a little peace."
His hands clench into fists.
"An' I'm gonna kick the crap outta all those bastards who took that away from her."
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
Liam looks away from Judau as he talks about the cops, fidgeting with the controller. He manages to find the pause button, and presses it; the Kart racer stops, then starts, then stops again as Liam frets over whether or not they should keep playing.
"Yeah," Liam says. "They're monsters. She deserves to rest--" And then he trails off, mid-sentence, as the grief starts to boil out of the pit he keeps it in. His throat tightens as Judau talks, and he fidgets with the controller, his thumb flicking the joystick.
'She gave her life back in Dublin, tryin' to--'
--And Liam's heart tightens as the outline of a memory floods his brain. A transport window. A blinding flash of light, and the shuddering rumble of an explosion. Liam isn't looking at Judau, but through him. He breathes. He's dealt with this memory so many times since Bujack. It still hurts. It comes back with the slightest provocation and it still hurts.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"Makes sense. I really don't know anything about Earth countries either." Banagher watches that finger swirl again. "Yeah, I'm happy to hear your tips. Leina's told me about Manhunters. I've never met any, but I sure can't get caught right now." A shudder.
As Banagher feels Judau's anger and grief, he looks down at his game controller. He doesn't feel guilty, not after he's talked to Koji. Banagher isn't responsible for the actions of his family, even if it still hurts.
"I'll be with you." Banagher promises Judau. "Vist is going to pay. The next time--"
Liam radiates grief, and Banagher drops his controller as if it burned him, startled. "Liam--?" He asks, softly. At the look on his friend's face, Banagher glances nervously back to Judau.
"I don't think he's okay."
Softly, Banagher reaches out, placing a hand on Liam's shoulder. "Liam, can you hear me?"
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
It's familiar. Familiar in a way that's just out of Judau's grasp. Familiar in a way that recalls some of the worst feelings of his life.
Familiar--
Oh.
That's why.
Judau blinks. Liam's grief finds a resonance in the spacenoid's heart as he looks the young man's way. Memories echo in his mind more like a rippling feeling of deja vu, impressions of a familiar moment taken from a vantage point that wasn't his. The former junker's eyes widen in realization.
I don't think he's okay.
"... He's not."
There's a great gulf that separates people's hearts--
"You were there. At Dublin."
... but in this moment, Judau and Liam's overlap.
At some point, Judau has moved in front of that television screen, the game forgotten for now as he crouches down beside Banagher and Liam. His brows furrow. God. How young must Liam have been, then? He barely knows Liam; and he's never been great at these moments by his estimate -- least of all when they involve painful memories for him, too.
"Hey. Hey, it's okay. You don't gotta talk about it if you don't wanna. But if you ever do--"
All he can really do --
"--you're not alone. Okay?"
--is speak from the heart.
"I was there. ... An' I'll be here."
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
Liam's eyes snap back into focus. He holds still as Banagher touches him; the younger man can likely feel the tension knotting in Liam's body, from the memory--and, to a lesser extent--from the touch itself. "Yeah," Liam says, "I--"
'You were there. At Dublin.'
Liam nods. Tears well up in his eyes. Who has he told? Lucine. Tetsuya. He... can't remember who else, right now. He curls inward, and Judau tells him he doesn't have to talk, but...
"--you were there?" The grief starts to roil, gaining notes of fear, and awe, and irrational anger. "Lost everything. Mom and Dad died to save me. BioNet took me from the camp. And I--" He stops to take a breath. "How did you get out?"
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
This is a moment between Liam and Judau. Banagher wasn't at Dublin, doesn't even really know anything about it. All he can do, really, is keep his hand on Liam's shoulder, and stay quiet.
Liam's emotions intensify again, and tears come to Banagher's eyes. He blinks quickly, not wanting to take any attention from his friend in this moment.
"...you can trust Judau. With everything." He murmurs.
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed.
BioNet took him.
The Federation. Neo Zeon. And now this. All these people, causing or taking advantage of a calamity.
Vultures. Judau is going to remember that.
"... Assholes."
He's going to remember BioNet.
Formless anger won't do him any good right now, though; and he's come far enough to recognize, at least in moments like this, when someone needs his words more than his rage. Arms resting on his knees, he looks up at Liam as he speaks; he glances back Banagher's way when the young man vouches for him, and, despite the guilt, despite the pain -- Judau offers Banagher a smile of gratitude.
"We were. All of us. The Argama, an' Karaba. We tried to get people out, the Feds -- they were just gonna leave 'em there." It might be a painful thing to hear, but -- Judau can't not say it. It still burns him. 'Population control.' "We got who we could, but..."
There were so, so many they couldn't save.
"Neo Zeon, that bastard Glemy, they tried to make sure we couldn't get out."
So how DID he get out? How did any of them? Judau's brows furrow. He looks aside.
"... It was because of Elpeo. She died savin' me. Savin' all of us she could save. ... So that's why we gotta do the same for her."
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
Touch is still a tricky thing for Liam to navigate. If he trusted Banagher any less than he does, he'd tell him to pull his hand back. He doesn't. Instead, Liam reaches up, placing a scarred, weathered hand atop his.
Recognition flickers in Liam's eyes. He remembers Neo Zeon's suits most of all. They still scare him. But... they weren't the only ones. "You were there," he breathes. His hands clench. His body trembles. "They told us to stay. Blocked the roads. THEY ran. We were--"
The rage boils out of him. Liam glances between Banagher and Judau before something else comes spilling out, too.
THEY DIED BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH
Horror dawns in Liam's gaze a moment later. Who was that 'you'? Was that Judau, or...? The anger hasn't gone anywhere, of course. "I--I'm sorry--"
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Banagher gives Liam a shaky little smile as he puts his scarred hand atop Banagher's.
Through his bond with Leina, and his own studies, Banagher knows bits and pieces of Dublin, but this amount of detail... Knowing what happened to Liam and Judau personally is overwhelming. Shoulders trembling, tears begin to fall down his cheeks. Banagher lowers his head, hiding behind his messy bangs in an effort not to draw attention to himself.
Liam's emotions hit Banagher like a wave, and the young man breathes in sharply, trying to cope. He looks up, staring at Liam in shock and confusion -- only to see that horror in his eyes.
"I--it's okay, Liam, we all have thoughts like that. I've felt that way about things before." A breath, more like a sob. "It didn't make me a bad person, and it doesn't make you one."
Even softer, Banagher speaks up again. "I'm -- so sorry, I'm..." His voice breaks, and he lowers his head again.
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed..
THEY DIED BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH
Generally speaking, a Newtype isn't a mind reader; the way it expresses itself is different for everyone, of course, but in the broadest sense, it's best described as a form of greatly enhanced awareness -- of empathy.
The ability to break down boundaries and understand each other.
So even though Judau Ashta can't -literally- read Liam's mind in these moments, the impressions of rage, of frustration, of sadness all congeal until they form a sentiment that translates that horror-inducing thought in Liam more clearly as crystal. After all, Banagher is right:
They've all had thoughts like that. Even Judau. Especially Judau. So... how could he not recognize it?
Sea green eyes flutter in a blink, and then widen, like someone struck. It's not really anger that paints the former junk trader's features -- not anger for Liam, in any case. Brown brows furrowing, teeth gritting, Judau looks to the side. That much frustration, that much anger, against something that simply can't be changed or helped -- he knows it well. His eyes shut. He takes a deep breath. And slowly, he rises on to his feet once more, takes a step back, and gestures at Liam.
"You're still mad, right?" he says simply.
"If you're angry, don't apologize. You're right. An' you got a right to let it out." And here, Judau tilts his chin up pointedly, invitingly.
"So if you need to get it out, just give me one good punch. I won't stop you."
Does he know how strong Liam is? No, but that wouldn't stop him in the slightest. It's what Bright did for him. In the moment, it didn't feel any better... but it was what he needed.
And right now, it's the least he can do for Liam.
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
The controller sits in Liam's lap. The hand holding Banagher's grips it, tightly, while the other one starts to shake. "Hate it." His voice is low, and tight. "Couldn't do anything."
'You're still mad, right?'
He turns to Judau, and blinks away the haze of tears as it forms in his eyes. "Never stopped," Liam says. "I hate it. I--" Eyes the bright blue of gas-flame widen, again, as Judau makes his offer. "Can't." Liam pulls away from Banagher. "I--they--" The offer remains. Liam has to try to keep from processing it as directions, in this vulnerable state. Part of him wants to do it anyway. His emotions turn into a tug-of-war--horror at the idea of hurting someone, of being a monster that might kill him, on accident, fighting with the rage. The rage is, for once, winning.
Liam's hands shake as he rises, and steps towards Judau. His right hand curls into a fist. His face twists into a horrible rictus as he swings without thinking--before he can think, and change his mind. Liam is terribly strong, but there's a mercy in him acting on impulse like this: it takes a degree of focus and control to fully engage the musculoskeletal augmentation. The right adrenal cues simply aren't there, either. And perhaps, most importantly, he is greatly underestimating the hardness of Judau Ashta's skull.
This doesn't stop him from fully switching over to the horror, as if he just killed a man, after he finishes the strike.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Struggling to get himself under control, Banagher doesn't raise his head again until Liam is offered to punch Judau in the face. Golden eyes blink in surprise and alarm -- surely Liam won't do it, right? Liam is a calm, gentle sort of man.
But Liam pulls away. "Wait--" Is all the Unicorn's pilot manages, before Liam takes the swing. Banagher sits back in his chair, shocked. There's a moment of genuine fear for Judau's well-being -- Banagher knows how strong Liam is, when he wants to be.
Struck silent once again, he can only look between the two older men. Judau offered, so it's okay, right? But Liam doesn't look like he's feeling any better...
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed..
It is true:
Judau Ashta's density is far vaster than any could ever know.
On the other hand, in a more figurative sense: Judau sees a lot more than what people might normally give him credit for. He's impulsive, he acts on his personal interests more often than not -- but he can see when someone's hurting.
And he's not afraid to take a little pain for the sake of them having a moment to express a much greater hurt.
Part of it is guilt, of course. He did everything he could in Dublin, but -- there's always that feeling. He lost so much. Everyone lost so much. He could have done -more-. And someone like Liam is just proof of that to him. So -- the smaller young man doesn't try to get out of the way as Liam stands, shaking. He doesn't so much as budge as Liam's right hand begins the telltale clench.
And he doesn't even flinch when he sees that fist coming for him.
CRACK
Banagher's call to reason is shut down by the sound of that fist striking Judau's jaw. He stumbles backward, and almost falls -- but the back of his legs hit the table bearing the TV before he can. The TV rocks backwards, forwards, back--
A groping hand grips and seizes it, seconds before it can topple over.
For a second, Judau just stands there, leaning against the TV, head hanging; for a second, little flashes of light dance across his vision like seeing stars as he tastes iron on his tongue. His free hand lifts, wiping blood from his lip.
He can take this much. He needs to be able to.
The second passes. And Judau pushes himself into a stand again; he offers Banagher a little look with a bloodied, brief smile. It says 'okay,' it not in so many words, even if the sentiment might be undercut by the fact that his jaw's already bruising a bit. But --
It doesn't stop him from reaching out, and putting a hand on Liam's shoulder. He's still there.
"S'ok," he offers, simply. "... I'm sorry." Not for the punch.
For everything else that led to it.
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
'Wait--'
It's too late. Liam's shoulders bunch. He watches through a haze of fresh tears as Judau stumbles back--not the sudden collapse that would indicate something horrible, but it... it hurts, all the same. Liam's fingers twitch as he slowly, deliberately unclenches that fist. He stares at it, remembering when it was just too tiny to hurt anyone. Too tiny to properly handle controls built for an adult.
"Are you--?" His voice is tiny, and agonized. "Are you all right?" Liam sucks in a breath, and turns to Banagher. "Anger's been there," he says. "It's only gotten worse. Keep it locked up because I'm--I'm so scared of people seeing it. Thinking I'm a monster. Being a monster."
His hands have started fidgeting. His eyes dart about the room, looking for something to manage the bleeding.
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Banagher can't help but wince, seeing the blood, the bruising. "I'll -- go grab some tissues!" He offers, standing and hurrying away.
Heart beating fast, the young man rushes to the bathroom. Banagher's reflection greets him in the mirror. His eyes still glimmer with tears, and he looks... frightened. Growing up in a poor part of Industrial-7, Banagher has seen (and been in) enough fights to be desensitized to this kind of violence, but somehow it's different now.
Why is he so freaked out?
Banagher shakes his head. Get it together. Judau knows what he's doing. Maybe this is the best way to help Liam right now, something the Unicorn's pilot would've never thought of. Just... He leans forward, trying to slow his breathing.
It'll take a moment for Banagher to calm down enough to return with the box of tissues. If Liam and Judau want to talk privately, now is the moment.
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed..
Judau watches as Banagher beats a retreat for the bathroom, brows furrowing faintly.
"But I'm not congested, dude-- shit he's gone."
Judau frowns for a moment, bright gaze lingering in the direction of the door. And then --
Are you--? Are you all right?
"Huh?" Judau blinks as Liam turns that concern on him, of all people. His head tilts; his cheek stings, but really -- it's nothing he's not used to. "I mean -- yeah. I've been in worse scraps than this. I'm gonna be fine." He's been shot, hit, stabbed, beaten - one time he tried to swipe some of Elle's fries and he's still got a little scar at the base of his skull as testament to the fact that You Don't Fuck With Elle's Fries - but this...
I'm--I'm so scared of people seeing it.
On some level, Judau understands. And he can make educated guesses as to what Liam's been through, considering what he's said. But...
"Fuck that."
He declares this firmly, his free hand waving through the air as he does. "Tryin' to hide it doesn't help anyone. It sure doesn't help you, right? If you're mad, get mad. If you're happy, be happy. There's nothin' monstrous about bein' angry. An' you're just gonna get madder and madder if you keep tryin' to pretend you're not. Like... ... when you bottle up some soda an' shake it real good til it bursts, an' it's pretty funny, except the cop who got covered in the soda is -pissed-, an' then you gotta run from the police for a while an' that just eats up your whole day, an'..."
And this is Judau's private conversation skills.
"Look. The point is -- you keep actin' like you can hold it in, eventually you're gonna do somethin' worse." Judau tilts his head, peering at Liam. "How're you feelin' now?"
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
Banagher rushes off, and Liam's stomach starts to knot. "I scared him," he whispers. "Is--is it really going to--" He can't finish the sentence.
Liam looks down at Judau, and despite his build and stature there is something terribly child-like in his demeanor, right now. His shoulders stay hunched, and he's stepped away from Judau, as if trying not to loom over him. He listens very, very closely.
And what Judau is telling him is... the exact opposite of what he's doing. "Guilty," Liam says, and it's truth. "It still hurts. But... I didn't kill you. Didn't... hit you as hard as I could've."
"Shouldn't have hit you. Didn't lose control."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
Now much calmer, Banagher takes one last deep breath and returns to the room, box of tissues in hand.
"Here," he offers them to Judau, "You're bleeding a little."
Standing just next to the two older men, he looks from Judau, then to Liam. Banagher isn't entirely sure what to do. "...are you both alright?" He asks, softly.
Perhaps in spite of Liam's fears, Banagher doesn't seem afraid of him. Rattled and overwhelmed, yes, but not afraid.
"That was a good catch." Banagher murmurs. "...with the television. I thought it was going to fall for sure..."
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed..
Judau Ashta is significantly shorter than Liam. Shorter than Banagher, even. Enough so for the former that he has to tilt his head up a bit to meet the younger man's gaze.
But he still carries himself with such a natural sort of self-assurance in who he is that he comes off that much more the taller in a figurative sense compared to the way Liam hunches and keeps his distance.
It's not so much adult-like so much as Judau-like.
woe betide anyone who suggests Judau Ashta has an adult-like demeanor
Still -- the First War's unsung ace respects the distance Liam tries to put between them, listening as the other man confesses that he still hurts. He doesn't say anything at first; instead, he just looks Banagher's way the second the Unicorn's pilot enters, taking that box and pulling free a tissue.
Here. You're-- SNRT goes Judau as he blows his nose. --bleeding a little.
"--Huh? Oh. ... You use these for bloody lips?" Judau holds up the box, scrutinizing it with a squint.
"Earth's weird." this is not an earth thing judau banagher is also from space and even he knows that--
Still; despite Liam's fears, Banagher seems more than fine with the young man; as if sensing that, Judau looks Liam's way, nodding his head towards Banagher even as he very tentatively dabs a fresh tissue against his lip with the slightest wince.
"Sometimes people punch other people," says Judau. "And sometimes they get pissed. Sometimes it's a bad thing, but not always. You didn't kill me; I'm still here. An' you're not gonna scare people away just because you're angry. You got nothing to be guilty about."
Judau considers. This is... not something he's the best at. The most he can do is just... speak from the heart.
"... It's always gonna hurt a little," he murmurs, rubbing the back of his head, brows furrowed. He should know. ... It never stopped, for him. "But if you keep waitin' til you lose control to express all that bad shit goin' on in you... it's gonna hurt more. Trust me."
Judau looks Banagher's way, and with his free hand, he jerks his thumb at the young Newtype. Because despite whatever problems they've had in the past--
"You'd do yourself a real favor if you relied on Banagher more, too. He's a good friend to have."
--he trusts him.
There is a brief detour, of course, in the middle of this serious talk, as Banagher compliments his saving throw; Judau grins, eyes squinting shut. "Heh heh. Well, y'know, that's why I've got these Newtype powers*, y'know--!" he begins, swinging his hands up -- only for one of them to knock into the TV screen. "Ah shit--!"
A few seconds follow in which he scrambles once more to make sure it does not collapse.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: newtypes did not evolve to not knock over tv screens
<Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
'...are you both alright?'
Liam looks down at Banagher, and wipes his tears on the back of his sleeve. "Still hurts," he says. It's true. "But..." It feels like he's pushing against a blockage in his own mind, originally installed by proxies of the Britannian nobility and repurposed and changed by BioNet.
But there is something about Judau's... nature, his Judau-ness, the fact that he can tell Liam to punch him, and then take that punch, and act so unapologetic in everything he does. Liam is not Judau, and could never be Judau. But the thought of living life without constant fear of judgment? That's... something he wants. Something he's starting to feel like he deserves.
"He is," Liam says, managing a little smile at Banagher. "He's a good person. Judau, I'll--I'll try. The things that happened, it's... hard, sometimes, for me to do that." But he did just that when Michele insulted him and Rita's other allies, didn't he? "I'll try."
<Pose Tracker> Banagher Links has posed.
"Yeah, Judau's right. I had this awful fight with Captain Zinnerman once, but we're fine." Banagher says, thinking of a very different kind of situation from this one. "It's better to deal with things."
Liam is also handed a tissue, as the young man leans forward to grab one from the box in Judau's hands. "I'm sorry. I wish none of us had to hurt like this."
Judau's words get a nod, Banagher quietly listening. It hasn't stopped hurting... not for him, either. Golden eyes blink widely as Judau meets his gaze, and--
Judau trusts him? Despite everything? Banagher can't help but break into a smile, echoing a soft feeling of pride at Liam's agreement. "Thanks, Judau. I'll always do my best, for either of you. We've had each other's backs for a long time now."
Having been narrowly saved once before, the television nearly goes down again -- and Banagher laughs, that proud smile turning into a grin.
<Pose Tracker> Judau Ashta has posed..
Banagher talks about a fight with a -very different- context. Judau, not knowing this, jerks his thumb Banagher's way.
"See? He gets it!"
It's important to note he still would have even if he knew because honestly sometimes you just have to beat up an old man to get him to stop being such an old man.
He'd be -proud-.
In the here and now, though, once he's stabilized that tv (and shot a little "shut up! it keeps gettin' in the way!" banagher's way), Judau turns his attention back to the other two with a little grin, rubbing the back of his neck. That bright sea green gaze turns Liam's way.
I'll try.
"That's plenty good enough," he says, firmly. And then he offers out his hand with that same grin.
"Like Banagher said. We got your back, Liam."
...
"By the way your karts are like, super exploded, dudes."
And sure enough, there's SPOWSER (short for SPACE BOWSER) pointing and laughing at the smoking wreckages that was once their dignities as kart riders on the screen.
Will this agony never end...?