2023-01-26: The Sacrifices We Made
- Cast: Leina Ashta, Alouette Pommier
- Where: GGG Orbit Base
- Date: U.C. 0097 01 26
- Summary: Having run into each other on Orbit Base, Alouette and Leina catch up. They have a heartfelt conversation and Alouette finds Leina is quite good at seeing through others' disquietude.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Thanks to the Gutsy Global Guard's efforts, Tsutsujidai has returned to reality... but there's still been no shortage of work for this group of heroes, with a staggering amount of reports to write, and Orbit Base busier than ever.
A rather weary-looking Alouette makes her way from the Main Order Room in the direction of Orbit Cafe (Chief Akamatsu made her take a break). And truthfully, she's tired from more than just work... there's still some residual effects from Hell and Heaven, even if any pain was fortunately not long-lasting.
All this to say Alouette could seriously go for some of her favourite blend of apple tea. And honestly, it's very much refreshing to work with some fresh tea rather than the bagged tea available in Tsutsujidai.
And once it's brewed, she goes to take a seat... there's a lot of people on Orbit Base today, a lot she doesn't actually recognize as part of the staff, but she does catch a familiar face.
"Miss Leina!" She enthuses, approaching the young woman. "It's... really been a while. Is this seat taken?" She motions. She wouldn't terribly mind catching up a little.
It's not hard to guess why Leina might be on Orbit Base. "I'm assuming you came with Doctor Mass to check on Akane?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina is on a mandated break handed down by Sayla Mass herself. For one week, she is to do nothing but relax.
N O T H I N G
While she could point out the hypocrisy of Sayla Mass handing down such an order, she has decided that, she in fact... actually needs a break.
Thus she's not writing reports, reviewing reports, analyzing reports - making calls to her contacts, fielding the ongoing Dr. Hell crisis in the Yumi Foundation.
It's kind of surreal, the idea of just, relaxing. Right now she's cradling a cup of coffee in her hands, and has a book open in front of her.
'Weaponized Femininity: A History of Magical Girl Anime.'
A small plate with fork haphazardly laid upon it beside her is just all crumbs and a touch of cream hinting at its former contents. She's wearing an old faded shirt, lke one's favorite that they can't bear to throw out despite the passage of years, 'Magical Girl Wonderful Persimmon', a pair of shorts, and some worn trainers.
Leina looks up from her book about a half second before Alouette calls out to her, smiling, "Mademoiselle Pommier! Please, by all means - I'm glad we ran across each other." She closes her book, "I'm a guest, so I don't exactly have free reign to seek someone out around here." She adds a wink of a single seagreen eye.
"Mmm, it's more that the two of us want to make up for lost time." She puts on a broad smile, "But she has her responsibilities as Akane's physician, so she's mandated I make my time with her a vacation for myself. Ordinarily I would have waited until later to visit Akane as I know there's quite the line!"
There's a twinkle of mischief in her eyes, "Butttt... since I was here, I took the opportunity to skip ahead in the line. We had a good conversation I feel... and after everything we spoke upon I have every confidence in her recovery."
Laying her elbow on the table, seeming heedless of table manners, she lays her chin upon her palm, "But I ought to ask how you're doing? And how you feel about everything that happened... coming out on the other side?"
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
When she's given the okay, Alouette gently sets down her apple tea and takes the seat across from Leina. She's... actually not in uniform right now! Being on break, she took the time to try on the new gift from her mother after she came back from Tsutsujidai - a chic-looking fluffy coat overtop her blouse and skirt. 'So you don't get too cold in space, mon chouchou.' Oh, mama...
She takes a moment to study the book cover Leina's reading, and nods approvingly. "Magical girls... I've always thought their moves were really cool. I even modelled some of my own after them, haha..." she admits, hoping she doesn't sound too childish. It's not like she's seen a ton of magical girl anime, but she's always been a fan of seeing the girl win the day with passion and grace.
Leina then explains the reasons she's here, as a guest on vacation time with Sayla. "That makes sense. Orbit Base isn't exactly the most common vacation destination, but I hope you feel welcome regardless." Alouette smiles. "And that's very wise of her. I just hope she takes her own advice more often..." She adds, to the point of mandated vacation time.
Alouette takes a sip of her tea, looking relieved that Leina's conversation with Akane went well. "We spoke too. We had a lot of baggage to talk through... and I could even tell she slipped into old habits a few times." She doesn't dare mention the "favour" or what it entails. "But.. I have hope too. We came out of that conversation as friends, after all." She grins.
And finally, Leina asks about her. "Ah, me? I'm, admittedly pretty tired..." Another long sip of that tea. "I took on a lot of the more menial work because of how my brain processes it... I can do that kind of work a lot faster than most people." And then she shakes her head. "The Chief ordered me to take a break, and I'll probably be home all weekend again. So don't worry too much."
"I'm afraid the actual 'coming back' part is somewhat of a blur, though." Her tone drops slightly. "When we were fighting to save Akane... I did something very dangerous. Hell and Heaven." A term synonymous for the key to victory in the Primeval War, a tool so dangerous it was replaced with the Goldion Hammer. "It took such a strain that I don't remember a lot immediately after the fight." She frowns. "I'm okay now, but I hope I never have to use such power ever again..."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina has always liked Alouette's style in her clothing, if she knew it came from her mother, she'd have feelings about that, but for now, "I love that whole ensemble, you have a great sense of style."
Before Leina's smile just broadens, "Really? So that's where that whole Final Fusion Pirouette came from! Incredible, I should have guessed... I've been a Magical Girl fan for years." Apparently it doesn't seem too childish for her.
(It's definitely not for Sayla, but she doesn't bring her up.)
"I do, I'm a Colony Girl at heart, so it's nice to take a vacation in space." Before Leina laughs lightly, "Never! I very much have to twist her arm! Every! Time!"
She takes a sip of her coffee, listening to her, and... "I can imagine, I told her to her face that I was, furious - about you and Renais, when you were placed under her control by that Kaiju." A short pause, "... I promise, I wasn't harsh, I had no intention of kicking her when she was trying to recover from such a low but I felt I had to be honest about my anger to her."
Pinching her eyes shut, she shakes her head, "Situations like yours and hers are just... quite personal to me, I admit. Especially when you two were... finding your footing in your recovery."
Deciding to shift gears however to something more positive, "Believe it or not, I offered that she might come to live with Sayla, Renais and me. She'll have to talk it over with Renais and Anti but..."
Her smile perhaps speaks for itself, that she feels it could very well happen.
At first she looks concerned about her mental exhaustion, "Having to carry so much weight on your shoulders, and draining yourself dry. I can only imagine what that must be like for you." She certainly knows what it's like for herself, but her brain doesn't work in the same way, "What do you do to unwind after taxing yourself like that? ... Besides 'taking a break' of course."
Her concern turns to low key alarm, as she mentions that it's a blur, and... "God you can do that!? I had no idea!" She blinks as her mind recounts the people that can do it, Guy the once Cyborg, now Evoluder, Mamoru and Ikumi...
"It certainly shows your resolve to save her..." Leina tells her, thinking perhaps of a time she stood in front of Judau, to protect him, "... but I hope you never have to do it again."
There's a lengthy pause though and, "Are you sure you're okay? Have you, talked to anyone how you feel about that?"
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"Aww.. thank you. It was a gift from mama after I came home. She was worried sick you see, but maybe she's a Brave too, because she didn't give up on me coming back." Alouette explains, her tone soft. "That shirt of yours is really cute, too. I can tell it's very much well-loved."
"That.. definitely sounds accurate." Alouette laughs along with Leina. Without Leina, poor Doctor Mass was constantly pushing herself to take care of everything except herself in Tsutsujidai. "I'm glad you have each other though... it sounds like you make a super-powerful duo."
"Mm, it's... I can't blame you for that. One thing we certainly agreed on was that honesty is important." She pauses for a moment. "...She told me that it was because we were so alike that she was so cruel about it." She says, somewhat shaky. "It's hard to hear something like that... but I'm glad she told me. It means I know exactly how strong she's capable of becoming." Alouette adds, a hint of pride in that last statement.
"Ahh... I wasn't aware it was something so personal to you - at least not when I first mentioned it. I won't press you to elaborate, but I'm sorry and... thanks for rooting for me." She replies, rather somber.
Before she perks up at what Leina mentions next. "That's wonderful! When we talked, she wasn't sure about where to go next." Alouette recalls. "That even if she got used to Orbit Base, she would want somewhere to return to. The Mass Villa sounds perfect for that, actually." She can't see Renais having a problem, and Anti... he's seen the best and worst in her. But decided to stand by her side in the end.
Alouette takes a few moments to consider Leina's question - what she does to unwind. "Honestly? I've been trying to do a lot of the things teenagers normally do. Things I've... never gotten to do. Shopping, listening to music, trying new foods, watching new shows... there's so much I want to do." Alouette replies, longingly. "So in other words: if you're ever up to it, why don't we binge some magical girl anime together?"
Alouette laughs nervously at Leina's alarm. "Well.. it's a long story." She answers that initial question. "After the cognitive kaiju, I took the time to put a little project together. Guardienne Aviaire: A fighting mechanoid making use of BioNet's fake GS-Ride technology." Come to think of it, the timeline matches up to where she might've worked on the fake GS-ride herself, ironically.
"Design-wise, the closest relative would be GaoFighGar - so channeling together protective and destructive energies for Hell and Heaven would be theoretically possible." A rueful smile. "Here at 3G, we only ever get to test our theories when our back is to the wall."
"...Yeah. I saw an unexpressed feeling turned into a monster, and fought it the only way I knew. But I don't want to see Akane - or anyone - that way again."
She pauses once again when Leina asks if she's ever talked about those feelings. "...Well, not exactly, before now anyways. I'm talking to you about it now." A little smile. "Maybe Guy would know something... he used it over and over again no matter how much it hurt him back in the Primeval War. I'll have to make sure he knows I won't be that reckless about it."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"That certainly sounds like a Brave." Leina grins at her, before looking down at her shirt, "Oh! Yes, it's actually a very important to me." Her grin shifts into an affectionate smile, "It's... how I bonded with someone special to me, not long after we first met."
Leina gives her a look of wry humor, "Neither of us makes it easy for the other - but I'd be lying if I tried to claim you were wrong."
It becomes something more serious in short order, as she listens to her talk about Akane. She takes a deep breath, and she closes her eyes in remembrance... "It doesn't surprise me. It's easy to be cruel to someone who reminds you of your own situation."
Her throat feels a chill, a weight. She doesn't remark upon it.
Those seagreen eyes open, as she focuses upon that positive, "Yeah, I agree. She admitted something... difficult to me too." She doesn't want to break Sayla's privacy but...
"She tried to... get Sayla as well, reenacting one of the worst nights of our lives. ... And she told me that she took my place in it."
She has to take a steadying breath, "It didn't succeed, and I'm quite upset about it now that I know, but it demonstrated that strength to me well... that she was able to admit it to me, to let me understand why."
Then she tells her that she is trying to do a lot of things teenagers normally do, and Leina smiles broadly, "I'd love that, and more things you'd want to do besides. I regret that I didn't get to invite you to a recent sleepover I had at the Villa given that you were trapped. There was uh."
There's a grin that doesn't look ashamed, but more like she's trying to assess her reaction to it, "...some drinking, and truth or dare involved."
Leina makes a note however, that she wants to have Alouette and Tessa meet, desperately. The two have a lot in common in this regard of wanting the normal teen experience. It's just, she can't break Tessa's privacy.
Alouette's nervous laugh however, causes her listen to her seriously. Leina gropes through her memories of Shuffle's intelligence files on BioNet but in the end comes up short.
"I've gotta admit, I wish I had that kind of confidence that all of you have working like that, that grace under pressure." Leina finds herself smiling at the thought of it. An unexpressed feeling as a monster. She already knew Akane was a Kaiju, but at the revelation of her becoming a monster she murmurs to herself as her eyes fall, "Damn that Alexis Kerib..."
Alouette tells her she's talking about it now, and Leina listens for a time, and...
... she takes a moment to collect herself, "I see... even knowing that you wouldn't be reckless with it... The way you talk about strain, how dangerous it is. It sounds like your life was very much at risk from using it."
The look on her face is, quite serious, "I know that in 3G there's a whole, mythology behind that kind of heroism that makes it easy to put on a brave face, which is why I'm, just checking."
It might seem like she's putting pressure on something that's not necessarily there, trying to press her in this way but... then she takes a breath, and averts her eyes...
"...I'm sorry if I'm being pushy, I'm just... being sure as someone who once, took a bullet for someone else... and would do it again, despite the consequences that followed."
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"Oh wow.. that's really sweet." Alouette smiles, as Leina mentions that the shirt represents someone special to her. And there's a short giggle at her statement about Sayla.
A longer sigh, at Akane's capacity of cruelness. "She said she was really mad how hard I was trying for her - that it was too late for her. So she cut away my will to fight." There's still strong, evocative emotions related to that cutting motion. "I hope she can find the strength in that similarity now."
"She tried it on Sayla...? Oh gosh, no wonder she..." Alouette can't even really finish that sentence. But it does say a lot about how Sayla decided to follow Akane into the Walled Garden.
Either way, she's happy to shift the conversation to something happier. "A sleepover? I don't think I've ever been to one. But let's hope I can make the next one." She grins. "I'm not sure about drinking, at least not until I'm older. And even then... I'm not sure what it would do to my head." She admits, concernedly. "But truth and dare? Absolutely."
"At the time, it didn't look so graceful." Alouette laughs. "But it bought more than enough time for everyone to attack, and Anti to reach Akane."
"Which is to say, letting others help you is the bravest thing you can do. The public often forgets this one, but 3G's courage is not about suffering alone." Her tone is not quite harsh, but it is firm on this point.
And it softens promptly. "...No, I'm glad you're being pushy about it. It's important to hear, and it totally makes sense to be worried."
Alouette eyes widen when Leina mentions taking a bullet for someone. "...Oh, Leina.. you really are a strong person." She breathes out. "You say that, but I don't think you intend to be careless with your life, right? ...Because you have people you trust?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"... Your will to fight, to recover from all you'd gone through - it wasn't solely for her. It was cruel of her to cut it off." She tells her quietly, "I think she's finally acknowledged that her situation - while different, wasn't unique either. I think you helped teach her that. I hope she will find strength in that solidarity."
There's just this, quiet nod at her not being able to fully finish that sentence about Sayla, "I haven't talked to Sayla about it - and Sayla didn't tell me herself, so, I'd appreciate it if you could... keep it private, but I felt it might be reassuring to know there was more to back up your... feelings about her strength, your hope for her future."
As the topic shifts, Leina smiles broadly at her, "Hey no shame, and no judgment. If you don't want to drink, then I definitely would never pressure anyone into it. But if you did want to try it slowly in a safe environment, I'd be happy to offer you that."
She grins at her, "And we'd be happy for you to join in for a game like that, but more besides... have you ever been to a concert by the way? I'm a big Sheryl Nome fan, but I'd never gone until recently."
Also she met her recently face to face and it was all she could do not to squeal on the spot as she was hosting a gala??? Gosh she's still processing that...
There's a smile again as she hears it confirmed that Anti reached Akane, that everyone helped him reach Akane, but indeed there's an underlying concern in the moment, and Alouette's comment kind of hits her like a brick wall...
... she's quiet, momentarily uneasy, because she's the type of person that tries to shoulder everything by herself. It is difficult for her to accept help, but her not to just, take care of everyone in her orbit.
Her eyes flick back to attention as she tells her that she's glad she's being pushy about it, then closes her eyes as she's told she's a strong person. "I don't want to die, no." She murmurs, "But I don't want anyone I care about to die either. ... Back during the First Neo-Zeon War, I became a prisoner of war for Neo-Zeon... when I was eleven. My brother tried to rescue me again, and again, and again. He put his life at risk, and when threatened by military punishment, he deserted - to put his all into trying to save me."
Her eyes crack open, half lidding, as she dwells upon the past, "I saw him facing down the barrel of a gun during one of those attempts. And I stood between him and that gun... because I recognized how much effort he had put into trying to save me - trying to protect me."
Her eyes finally manage to look at Alouette, "At that moment I knew it was my turn to protect him."
A deep breath as she tries to compose herself, "... Long story short, I nearly died. I woke up in an Pediatric ICU. I had to undergo months of physical therapy, and spent the majority of a year in a wheelchair."
Her expression softens looking upon her, "Protecting someone you care about - trying to save someone you care about, it's not for the faint of heart. You say I'm brave? Maybe I am."
Leina tugs at the corner of that well worn shirt, and lifts it up on the right side of her abdomen, just enough to show her the scar of the bullet wound. It obviously healed badly, scar tissue trails off of it like uneven tributaries where the infection spread and had to be cut out, "... But I'm not without my scars."
She lets the side of her shirt fall, and there's a look of sympathy and sorrow in equal measure, "And I think I don't need to tell you - that most scars aren't so visible."
She can only imagine how many invisible ones Alouette has at the hands of Bionet.
"That's why I want to know where your head is at here... you said you hope you never have to use such power ever again... that everything after a blur... how are you coping with the idea that you might have died?"
Then she adds, perhaps more importantly.
"Are you, coping? Or are you focusing wholely on the result that Akane is now safe, rather than your own feelings?"
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"...Yeah. She replaced Ikumi in my dream. What I felt for him wasn't actually... love, but he's still such an incredibly important person to me, and that situation was a big part of why." Alouette admits. She didn't quite get this part out when she was talking with Akane. How important Ikumi and Mamoru's role was during her hostage situation with BioNet. Maybe another time... "Mhm. I hope so, too."
"...Okay, I'll keep that secret safe." Alouette knows more about Sayla than Leina might know she does, but she's perfectly fine with keeping another.
And there's a shaky short of smile of acceptance, when Leina assures her there's no pressure. "I'll keep that in mind. ...It might be the memory trauma. Alcohol can make people forget things... I don't want that." And she hopes she can be perfectly powerful in a game of truth or dare even without it.
Alouette lights up at the mention of Sheryl Nome, and Leina asks her if she's been to a concert. "Actually... kind of? And I even got to help set it up??" She answers a little excitedly. "The last night in Tsutsujidai, Rikka set up a concert, for Akane, to try and get through to her. She even got Sheryl Nome to help her with an unreleased song through a hologram. And she trusted me with the lights." The enthusiasm dies down a little into a more calm smile. "...I think it worked. Rikka really is incredible."
Alouette herself goes quiet as Leina falls into an uneasy silence. And she tells her story, a prisoner of Neo-Zeon, taking a bullet for her brother... "Leina... that's all so... it's horrible." She tries to find the words, somberly. And when she sees the actual scar, she just falls silent. Tries to understand what Leina is trying to show her by showing that scar, what she's trying to tell her by recounting that story. She thinks she understands.
"...There is one thing I remember. It was like my body moving on its own, to put up one last Protect Wall in front of the cockpit." She recalls, resolutely. "I want to think it's because of my own actions that I didn't die that night. And I think that's true still, but..." She closes her eyes. Leina really is so smart. "You're right. I've barely even given thought to it. And maybe I should..."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Any other day Leina would immediately be in shipper mode immediately at the thought of the implications of Akane replacing Ikumi and her immediately realizing what she felt for Ikumi wasn't love.
No. No that can wait until later.
There's relief at Alouette being willing to keep the secret safe... and...
"Oh-!" Understanding enters into her eyes right away, "I completely understand. There's plenty of other normal teen things we can do together."
Consider that suggestion withdrawn unless Alouette ever brings it up herself.
Leina blink blinks, then she startles - "You're joking!? Oh my gosh. I didn't realize Sheryl Nome was trying to get Akane and Rikka together too!!!"
Leina just can't stop grinning afterwards, "Damn, She really went all out. Soooo proud of her." Before she laughs, "More than incredible, I could have never predicted she'd do that in my wildest dreams."
The mood may turn somber soon enough, as it turns to talk of her past, and there's a weak nod, at being told it's horrible...
... Alouette may even get the sense she doesn't understand how horrible, how many omissions and gaps must be in that story just to shorten it to her point.
In the end, she listens to her and afterwards, she asks an incredibly simple question... "Alouette... would you like a hug?" Then she adds, "Because I'd very much like to give you one."
Perhaps it's not some deep seated analysis of what Alouette just described, some plan to deal with her feelings going forward...
... but not everything has to be.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
"I'm looking forward to all of them," Alouette smiles, chipper at Leina's suggestion of plenty of other teen things that are possible.
"Right?? And she even dedicated a whole song to it... Sheryl truly is one powerful lady." Neither of them might understand how much more of a power move this was considering Akane tried to set up Rikka with Sheryl at one point.
"I told her this before, but Rikka seriously is one of the bravest people I know ...I don't know many people who have the courage to collaborate with the world's top idol just to reach out to her crush." Alouette smirks. It's a massive oversimplification, but it's adorable in its own way, especially after seeing Akane separately gush about Rikka after the fact.
The somber mood returns. Although neither of the two young women might be able to fully grasp the extent of each other's pain, there's an overflowing sense of empathy nonetheless, as Leina offers a hug.
"...I'd like that, yes. I think we probably both need it, don't you think?" And Alouette reaches forward for the embrace.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"It's as Akane told me... she really can't stand to lose anyone." Leina says in admiration of Rikka. It's a quality she realized herself, but it was Akane who articulated it, "There's no length she wouldn't go to."
When Alouette affirms, and reaches out for an embrace, Leina rises just enough, to lean forward, and wrap her arms around her, squeezing tightly.
"You're a good person Alouette. ... You deserve to have your feelings taken care of too..."
And holding her for as long or as short as she wants, and no more than that.
"... by yourself, by the people around you. Just, always remember that. Like you told me earlier..."
It's hard for her to acknowledge it, what Alouette said, but she can allow herself to for her sake...
"...courage is not suffering alone, because you're so focused on others around you."
She may be a consummate hypocrite on this point, but when is she not for the sake of the people in her life?