2022-11-18: "It's Perfect Here"
- Log: "It's Perfect Here"
- Cast: Ennil El, Akane Shinjo
- Where: Starbows, Tsutsujidai
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-11-18
- Summary: It's not fair. It's just not fair. She could have been happy.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
This is not where Ennil El thought she'd be right now. In a lot of ways, she's not totally sure where here is. Her time with the Ruin Disciples has been interesting and, deliberately, brief. Mostly they are allowed their own space. She has taken advantage of that, because...
Anyway, things changed. There is a sense that something is coming to a head. The Chief has laid out an agreement, and he intends to honor it. Ennil El is part of that. And so now she's in Tsutsujidai, wherever that is, really, nursing something that wants to be a Starbows coffee. This deep into the cup, having long since given up on actually tasting coffee, it's a sort of sludge of dark chocolate, aggressively salted caramel, and a tremendously pathetic thin layer of cream. At least it's still warm.
She's grateful to be here, where no one who sees her will know her. They might not know what they were seeing if they did. The soft pink tanktop and cute white skirt don't communicate the Ennil El most people are used to seeing, and the slouch in her shoulders and wistful grin are almost as unidentifiable.
"Don't tell them, but I'm glad that's over," she confides. Face to face with a god. "They're good people. But... Loud."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane always takes a little time to really feel settled in in a Starbows booth when she's not alone. There's something about having to deal with someone else's energy that puts her just a touch off her game -- especially someone she didn't realize she was making a deal with when she made that deal.
"Ahaha, right?" Akane says, with a little giggle. "I don't totally mind that, but I like to keep things pretty chill." Sipping at her own drink -- a horrible red concoction that's mostly sugar with just a hint of acidity under all that -- she looks Ennil over. Not a match for 3G's usual profile, which means... this has to be someone new, right?
"So... just so you know, if something does boil over," Akane says, her expression suddenly serious, "it's going to be tonight. I don't think there'll be a problem, but you should be ready for that." Now that she's broken some bad news, an almost-reflexive urge bubbles up in her:
"Do you want a protein box or something? Maybe a bag of chips?"
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
"Chips," Ennil nods. The shift in tone doesn't seem to affect her much - she's still smiling. "Yeah, don't worry. I understand the job. Nothing I haven't done before. But thanks for the heads up."
She looks Akane over for a second. It's not long, but there's a momentary intensity... and then Ennil's presence melts away again. She leans back into the booth, presses a hand into the table. "You know, I think they think they're helping me. Makes sense - that's what they do. They're heroes."
That is what they do, isn't it.
"But yeah, I got that sense. I haven't really got the tour yet - just 'orientation' - but,"
It takes a moment to remember this kind of thing. Finding the line. One deep breath.
"I like it here. And that's you, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane nods, listening to Ennil. "I'll go get them in a sec," she says, nodding. "But yeah -- that's how it came out for me too. All, 'oh, I think what you're doing is right,' all -- 'we'd like to help you.'" Akane kind of rolls her eyes, and concedes, "As far as I'm concerned I'm just using you guys."
She sees no reason to lie about this or lead them on, at this point. They're not even really in control of themselves, after all. They've drawn a conclusion consistent with the assertion in their brain and they'll act on it. When people follow their presets you don't need to agonize.
"And yeah! I made this whole city." It's... more 'awake' than it was when she made it, a little livelier, a little more capable of flowing on its own. But that's a bit of an irrelevant aside. "It's just the right size. This is about as far as a world needs to go."
Having answered that, Akane gets up to get those chips, giving Ennil a minute to digest that before saying anything.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
Ennil's quiet. This is Akane's show. She does take a little drink off her cup, letting the mess sit on her palette.
'I'm just using you guys.' Ennil's eyes settle on Akane's for a second after that. But just a second. An acknowledgement. Akane goes on, and Ennil's hands slip into her lap, the cup finally released to rest on the table. There's something almost playful in the smoothness of her posture, the stillness on her face.
Akane can see the strings, and Ennil knows how to play the doll.
Eventually there are chips, and the bag slips open with the same practiced ease of motion. She takes just one, pops it in, lets the salt sting her tongue for a second. Then she smiles. "Yeah, I think it's perfect."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane likes being in control of the show -- now more than ever. She just needs to keep that control a touch longer... and then --
-- well, she'll need to keep it forever after that, she supposes. (Never mind how disastrous it was the first time. It'll be better this one, because...)
"So, tell me a little about yourself!" Akane says, instead of pressing in on that. "How'd you get involved with... you know, all this stuff. You seem a lot different from 3G, so I'm guessing you're not, like, someone they were keeping in reserve."
She turns that over in her head, eventually reflecting, "I guess J was a little different too, actually, but still... he was at least, like, similar in a kinda sideways way? Whereas you're... you kinda seem more normal."
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
"Hehe. What made it obvious?" She leans in a little, arms resting on the table, shoulders back. Playful, conspiratorial. "I'm a Vulture actually. It's part of how I could tell." She inclines her head out, towards the city. "I build everything myself too. Nothing like this, of course."
Straighten up. Back to that smooth, comfortable posture. "But it still has to be just right. It's my whole life, you know?"
Another couple chips. The smile shifts. It's a little less perfect, but a little warmer, too. She's enjoying Akane's company?
"Anyway, you got it right. No connection to 3G at all. They're... taking care of a friend of mine, and I can help out by being here. I was a little worried, but it's not bad at all!"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"You carry yourself kinda different? They're all kinda -- larger than life. ... a Vulture, though, huh..." Akane's thoughts drift somewhere else for a second -- but she quickly snaps back, leaning back in her chair as Ennil leans forward. "That makes sense. If you wanna poke around, there's a couple of junk shops in town."
She chews on the idea that they're taking care of a friend of Ennil's. That's... Akane recognizes a justification when she hears it, but there's definitely some sincerity in that, too... "I almost ended up on that side of things myself a while back. If Renais had beaten Guy instead of Alexis cleaning up my mess, like... that was the deal."
Akane's a little too numb at the moment to figure out how talking about that -- now, especially, with her new allies -- makes her feel. "Kinda funny we ended up on the same side after all that, huh."
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
"I know what you mean. They're kind of intense." There's a moment where it looks like she has more to say, but she lets Akane take the lead again. At least for a while. "Yeah. It sounds like it's been a wild ride. I don't feel like I really fit in, if I'm honest." There's that twinkle in her voice again. "They're just so... solid. They don't really ask me any questions, they don't care about my past. They all just know what they're supposed to be doing, and then they do it."
She sighs. It's the first break in that sunny mood. It doesn't even seem deliberate, really.
"I don't get it. Like, sure. I understand what needs to be done. But hero types always seem to think the only way to do it is point themselves straight ahead and push as hard as they can. It's like... they don't even care about breaking things."
Still, she manages to keep her hands in her lap, even if she does end up pressing at a fold in her skirt.
"Wouldn't it be better if things could just stay the same? Or, at least, just. Be a little smaller. Like it is here."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane picks up on something getting unsaid, but... her mind is a little bit elsewhere right now. "Yeah -- Renais was like that too... she ended up kinda adrift in comparison, after we got that stuff out of her brain. It must be easier to just... know what you're doing is right."
When Ennil presents a follow-up question, though...
'It's like they don't even care about breaking things.' That sticks in Akane's head. She isn't sure how to say what it makes her feel, but... she's never cared about breaking things, either. That never made her feel like a hero, though.
So she picks the easier prompt. "Yeah. I want things to keep going forever. Just like they are. Or -- well, maybe not like they are, but... like they could be." It's an unusual amount of wistfulness for Akane to bring to the fore -- but today really is the end of things, so...
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
"I'm gonna do my best," Ennil says, nodding a little. "For you."
Is that a promise she can make?
"I really hope it's just like this when I'm -- " Figuring out how to word that's a bit beyond her right now. It's the first sign of her self, because it's the first sign of it turning in the gears and getting ground down.
"When everything's over with," is what she settles on. "I don't know if you like the cold. But there's this thing, sometimes, when it gets cold enough... the sky reflects the ground, and it's all just. Gray. Really dreamlike, and soft. Everything's perfect. It feels like you could reach out forever and not touch anything."
She meets the eyes of the other girl again, and there's a little of that gray flattening those soft blues.
"That's how I feel, here. I wish I'd known sooner, actually."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Good. I'm counting on you."
That unstated word, though... that sticks in Akane's craw. She decides not to acknowledge it, though -- pulling at that thread in Ennil requires pulling at that thread in herself, and... it's easier to leave it untouched.
"I know what you mean. It was actually kind of like that here, at first, too," Akane answers, expression getting a little more distant even as those eyes meet her own red ones. "I decided on summer, eventually. I did try spring for a bit! But this is the kind of weather I like. I'm kinda surprised it hits the vibe for you even though it's so hot!"
Yeah. Make it a conversation about not a lot in particular. "Enjoy it while you can. I think there's pretty even odds that this is the last night you get to spend here. Still... good to get a taste of what you want in a situation like this."
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
'I'm counting on you.' Could that be true? At the beginning of all this, Akane had said she was just using them. Using her. Now she's...
She's relaxing. It's almost shocking how easy it is. To step backward. To feel someone else's hands on you and thank them for it. She smiles through Akane explaining how she played with the weather, how everything here is just what Akane wants it to be. She could enjoy the heat, too.
Then Akane finishes her thought, and the tide sweeps her out again. Just one night? Is it really that bad? Akane's counting on her, but it doesn't sound like... like she has any faith at all in what comes next. The world squeezes down, and even Tsutsujidai feels frighteningly vast for a few seconds.
"It's... not fair."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane finally remembers she was drinking coffee (for a given value of 'coffee,') and takes a sip as the two of them comfortably settle into their roles.
"Yeah," Akane agrees. There are so many things here that could be unfair that she doesn't feel like it's worth bothering parsing out which ones Ennil's thinking about. "I've gotten pretty good at unfair."
Her finger comes to rest at the top of her straw. She stirs her coffee around a bit, just looking at Ennil. "If everything goes right," Akane explains, "this place is going back where it belongs. So will everything in it." So will I.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
If everything goes right, I,
Have things I still have to do.
"Of course. I'll take care of it." Her eyes are so dark. They fix on that finger, circling slowly. "You deserve..."
A quieter world.
"To make yourself happy. And, hey, eventually I'll be done - "
All of us will.
"And maybe, if you don't mind. I could find you again?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"That could be nice," Akane says.
As far as she knows, it's impossible, though. Gridman was a fluke -- she's starting to draw the line to what really happened there, and she doubts it'd happen again once she got everything back in place.
Still, if this situation is unfair -- what's one more pointless promise?
"Hmmm... do you want anything else to go?" comes a follow-up question. "I don't mind treating you -- especially this close to go time." If she's a Vulture and isn't fairly wealthy, she's probably had a rough go of it. Akane can do this much.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
She smiles. It would look better if it didn't feel like it was taking everything she had to hold herself up in her chair. She has to be strong. Someone's counting on her again.
Why? Damn it, why? She's so hungry. She barely touched her chips.
"Something sweet, I think." The smile tilts, her chest rising and falling slowly. Like she's in a trance. "What do you like?"
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
'What do you like?'
Akane's a little startled. "... Honestly, uh, you're asking the wrong person. I haven't eaten anything in a couple years." She used to be better at answering this, but now it's just...
It feels exhausting, to keep up all these opinions, these feelings. "Before all this," Akane says, "I used to like the oat yogurt parfait things. Do you want one?"
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
Ennil nods. There's a shift in her expression when Akane mentions not eating for so long -- but a god wouldn't need to, of course.
Still. It seems cruel. Something about it sits like ice in her gut. Is there anyone taking care of Akane at all?
"You know what? That sounds nice." That twisted little smile again.
It would've been nice to get that tour, though. To see how much Akane loved this place. It's always different when it's something you did yourself. She could say something, maybe. Make the most of the time she still has --
But that's not fair, either. Akane has a lot on her plate.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"OK. I'll go get it," Akane says, standing up again and leaving Ennil to her own devices for a little while. Still -- it doesn't exactly take long. This is a pretty sleepy little Starbows.
"Hmmm... anything else I can do here?" she asks as she sets down the little cup, glancing outside as the sun starts to set. "If not, I kinda have places to be."
Her arms hang limply at her sides, once she's emptied her hands.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
"Actually, I -- "
Don't want to leave you like this. I wish you'd eat with me. Just so you knew how it tasted again.
"That is -- "
You could tell me what makes you smile.
"No. It's perfect here. I won't let you down."
A step forward. She can't stop herself. Not totally. Her hand hovers, arm quivering, between Akane's shoulder and that soft lavender hair, her eyes sinking deeper into the murk.
"You're really... A strong person, Akane Shinjo."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Ennil cuts herself off twice. Akane notices... but she doesn't want to pry. Ennil seems like she's still finding her feet after some big changes. That's best to avoid messing with too much.
Touch. Akane reflexively flinches a bit -- but she'll live with it. After all, the forces of the Dawn are taking a big, complex risk on her behalf.
"That's what I've been trying to tell people," Akane says, shaking her head. She smiles, but it comes with a strain that leaks into her voice. She pulls away, saying, "Hopefully this goes off without a hitch and you get to just relax all night."
She pulls away.
... it's time.
<Pose Tracker> Ennil El has posed.
Ennil feels the flinch. She almost slumps back into the booth. But Akane would see that. So she picks up the parfait, gives it a single slow stir, and takes a bite. She smiles. "It really is good. You should... Give it another try, sometime. It can't hurt, right?"
She looks out toward the setting sun, but inside, she's standing in that perfect gray sky.
"As long as we both do our best, it'll work out. I want to believe that."
Each bite is so soft and sweet. The world is wrapped tight around her, without any sharp edges.
She steps out onto the ice, and waits for the ground to disappear.