2022-11-08: An Offered World ~HEART~
- Log: 2022-11-08- An Offered World ~HEART~
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Alouette Pommier
- Where: Tsutsujidai - Alouette Pommier's Apartment
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-11-08
- Summary: After a marathon Tarabaman binge, Akane floats several offers -- some explicit, some implied -- to Alouette. All of them, in some sense, are her trying to give up parts of herself.
</poem>
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane needs a skip day to go over some things. The going over things is short, though, and basically consists entirely of 'so, like, where do I go from here now that I'm not playing nutritionist for Ouka;' Tarabaman Eclatant, conversely, is quite long, relatively speaking. 13 24-minute episodes is not an insignificant chunk of time by any stretch, and Akane...
... has kind of wanted to drag Alouette into this particular pit since they met.
It's also probably going to take more than Precisely Five Hours On The Dot; Akane loves production trivia and asking questions about how accurate the French is -- like, obviously it's indeed French, but what she really wants to know is whether having started here is giving her an obvious accent and set of word choice preferences.
It's after the five hour binge (that lasts seven hours) that Akane feels herself getting a little needy. She can at least wait until Tenne-blaster (a pun she feels the need to belabor -- see, in katakana it's ambiguous if it's 'Tenne Blaster,' i.e. a ranged-attack-focused, 'offensive' form of Tenne, or 'Tenebrous Star,' i.e. an allusion to Darkstar, a much earlier Taraba villain) is dead and the credits are rolling.
"It's amazing, right?" she enthuses. "I was surprised at how much of the stuff was right! It's great to watch with an expert! And the kaiju are the best versions of basically every one of them... and they're all so strong, too." Though she tries to hold down the questions she's thinking of, she can't quite stop both.
"Taraba Kaiju are so interesting, like... a real monster is a totally different thing. It's like -- the world is built just for them, and they're built just for the world. There's always a way they could get anything they want... But..." Her eyes shut for a moment. Her glossy lips part, and a sigh escapes.
Hm. "The only way they make sense is if they don't understand humans are even, like, people with feelings. They kinda... exist to do their one thing, where they want something, and then die for it. That doesn't mean they're not the stars of the show, but..." She rubs at the back of her head. "... no matter what it is they want, just wanting it hurts everyone around them."
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
When Akane asked Alouette if she wanted to skip class to binge an entire Tarabaman show, she was a lttle surprised for a number of reasons. Back in June-ish, when they met up in that small outdoor diner, Alouette suggested watching the show together, but she got a more than bewildered response from Akane... so she dropped the subject.
She supposes that a lot of things have changed since that meet-up. They're no longer strangers working together on a rescue mission, not enemies or rivals fighting on opposite sides. They can just be friends, who skip school to watch tokusatsu together. No matter how difficult it is to get used to other parts of living in Tsutsujidai, that's a good change, Alouette thinks.
And when the credits roll, not only was the acting not painful on her native ears, the storytelling was surprisingly very polished too. She enthusiastically nods, giving Akane a chance to gush about her favourite media series. "I really liked the lead character," Alouette chimes in. "I thought it was really interesting they told the story through a Zentradi perspective... you don't really get to see that from shows back then." It's clear that the socio-political theming of the show resonated with her quite a lot.
But of course, kaiju are Akane's passion, and Alouette knows that she wants to hear her thoughts on them too. "You said that most of the kaiju were powered-up versions of old ones, but I still thought the way they integrated with the new setting was very compelling."
"And..." she hesitates on this next point. "I definitely preferred watching them over fighting them myself.. but it's still sad that they have to die to solve the conflict." Akane's next statement is similar to this sentiment, but it feels like she much more just.. accepts that as how it is. Maybe that's why she gave up on doing kaiju attacks?
"No matter what they want... even if all they want is to not hurt anyone?" Alouette unintentionally gets to the heart of it. "Kaiju are strange creatures.. but it's hard to hate them." She concludes.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The relief of getting through it with a genuinely enthusiastic Alouette is significant; when Alouette mentions she liked the lead character, Akane seems a little surprised but not displeased. "I'm a little 50/50 on the Taraba but the host is /great/," Akane agrees -- which seems to be more what resonated with Alouette anyway.
Akane glances down as Alouette gets to the heart of the matter; her heart feels like it staggers for just a second. She's spent so long being simultaneously ruled by her feelings and trying desperately to ignore them that the way in which her current situation has raised them makes every bodily sensation, every reaction to a situation a little -- startling.
"Yeah," is what she answers. "There's a kaiju in Q that's like that! The humans have to drive it away. They can't be together in the same 'world.' We could watch it sometime -- I have the M-Color release, but... not with me! Different hard drive."
Scooting just a bit closer to Alouette on the couch, she asks, "Are you settling in okay? It's been like a month... it's kinda hard to believe, right?" She brings one hand to her mouth and giggles, continuing, "No fighting... a lot fewer hard conversations. The first month was the best part, when I moved here, but... I think we can keep a good thing going. Or if you're having a hard time, we can make it better!"
BBSYS: Post 396, 'Luice Tanks Sinuses' has been published to Daily Spotlight by Lucine Azul.
BBSYS: Post 397, 'Lucine Tanks Sinuses' has been published to Vacations by Lucine Azul.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Alouette nods at Akane's assessment of the Taraba and the host. "I appreciate what they were going for through both of them being able to understand each other through loneliness, but she definitely got the meat of the story development, I think." She does notice that Akane always seems to have more to say about.. every other aspect of the show than the Taraba themselves: the kaiju, the host, and the support crew.
Alouette also notices Akane look away briefly.. perhaps that statement she made resonates with Akane more than anyone else. It resonates with Alouette for the opposite reasons, as someone who just abandoned a war against people who fought her against their own nature.
And for the same reason, she makes an inquisitive glance as Akane describes the plot of Taraba Q. "I wonder if that's commentary on how humans never seem to be able to co-exist with others," Alouette muses. That line of thinking... reminds her of the time Akane asked her in the hospital how she can fight for a world that was never made for someone like her. Maybe moving to Tsutsujidai was the answer to that question after all.
"But yes! I'd love to watch more Taraba sometime. That's the very first one, isn't it? Before it shifted into the superhero genre?" Alouette did some research before Akane came over, evidently. She always likes going into new things with a little bit of background knowledge.
"It's been okay! I've met new people, tried out some new hobbies.. it's all pretty new to me, really." She answers. "There were a few things I had a hard time with," she frowns. Mostly, she's thinking about how Namiko spotted Mic Sounders. "Although I'm not sure if they'll be a problem long term." Clearly, something is still bothering her a lot, but she's not sure if it's anything Akane has any power over.. and she doesn't want to involve Alexis Kerib. She definitely doesn't know about the alliance Akane made with the Ruin Apostles.
"Still though, I appreciate everything you did to help settle me in, I don't think it would've went nearly as smoothly otherwise," She smiles warmly. "I hope it gets even better from here, for all of us."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Yeah! Q is the first... it's also the one they reran during the One Year War, when they were trying to figure out over-the-air communications that weren't super screwed up by Minovsky warfare," Akane answers her. She loves this kind of production trivia -- it's not as interesting as kaiju, but there's a charm to knowing how something works, how the practice of making a thing flows from concept to creation. It's a logic she's only become more intimately familiar with over time.
When Alouette says that it's been okay, Akane has to take a moment to tell herself that 'okay' doesn't mean 'bad.' It means she misses a little of the emotional landscape -- too wrapped up in herself, too choked by her own heart. Still -- she smiles, in the end! "I definitely think it will," comes her ultimate agreement.
"Hmmm... about that," Akane starts. With Ouka's condition deteriorating, she's a little curious. "Do you want... a world like this for yourself? You don't need to share mine. I could make one for you. It takes a few times to really get right... I'm a bit of a perfectionist. It wouldn't be right away, but... it's something I've kinda been thinking about."
Akane doesn't realize she's asked a question with only painful answers, only painful results.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Similarly, Alouette is the type to also love trivia like this. To someone who was only taught absolute perfection, learning of the imperfect processes of things has its own charm... and it helps her to accept that things take time. That's why she isn't upset about her current life in Tsutsujidai not being perfect.
This was such an easy and fun conversation before, but then.. Alouette wouldn't say Akane ruined it, although it very much changes the tone. Alouette's expression drops, and she looks down on the ground, trying to imagine what a world that's only for her would even look like. She can't come up with any answer.. maybe because she's become so used to navigating a world she wasn't meant for.
"That's... I don't- I don't know," she struggles in a way she rarely ever has: a question Alouette has no idea how to answer. "I don't mind sharing a world with you-" she starts, but then another possibility comes to mind.
Is she gently being nudged away? Maybe because she said something about Taraba that offended Akane... no, that couldn't be it. Although Alouette does internalize the idea that Akane might prefer it if Alouette had her own world. "I'll think about it," she fidgets with her hands.
If she gets her own world, then it would be much, much harder for her to see Guy and the others. Maybe that's better.. it would ensure they don't get any more false hope about her coming back than they already have. But she can't say that would make her happy.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
It's obvious to Akane that she's upset Alouette just by asking; she can see the agonizing on display and it makes her nervous in turn, that she said something that ruined the night. She pulls back from it for now -- she doesn't want Alouette to associate the idea of being offered something with being upset, after all, especially when it's the kind of safety she wants to offer her.
"It's fine!" Akane enthuses, scooting just a bit closer still on the couch -- now close enough that Alouette can feel her breathe a bit when she turns and affirms, "You don't -- have to."
Even with the situation the way it is, she's scared that this means losing the young Ms. Pommier. So she decides to...
"Hey," Akane says, taking a deep breath and bringing one hand carefully toward Alouette's chin, tilting it toward her -- and then the other toward her shoulder, holding her there. "I don't mind if it keeps going... it's good. I'm having a lot of fun. Is there anything... else... you want to do tonight?"
This is a bad idea. This is such a bad idea. Akane absolutely shouldn't -- this is unfair and weird. "... no pressure," comes her follow-up, as her hand moves away from Alouette's chin. ... the one on her shoulder remains there, though -- steady, stabilizing. ... right?
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
As Akane reassures her, Alouette has to wonder if maybe she overreacted a little, if Akane really was just trying to offer her a safe retreat. She hopes she didn't ruin the night, instead.
As Akane pulls her in, Alouette looks her closer in the eye.. she can't quite tell from those bright red eyes what Akane is thinking, but she chooses to trust her, and tries to accept that she is welcome no matter how difficult that is. "...Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun, too."
Although she is technically the host tonight, she doesn't exactly have anything planned apart from the movie. Anything else would require her to leave the apartment and she's.. definitely not up for that tonight. "I'm okay just staying here for a while," she answers, a little distantly, but not coldly.
Being this close to another person, it feels very strange. But it also feels kind of important after a certain level of emotional vulnerability, so she lets Akane keep her hand on her shoulder.
"I'd still like to do this again, you know." Alouette reassures Akane, after she's able to think of the right words. "I'm glad you could share something that means so much to you with me." Her smile returns. Even if the circumstances are unfair, this is probably the first time Alouette got to do something like this, so she treasures it regardless.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane decides to stay where she is, practically leaning against Alouette. (It's fine, she tells herself. She has control of the situation -- nothing bad is going to happen to her if she stays close... and so many more bad things could happen if she pulled away again.) Her hand drapes across her stomach in not -- quite -- an embrace.
(Something tells her it's wrong to get this close -- that it's unfair -- but she desperately shoves it down. Her heart needs this and that's reason enough.)
"Is there anything I can do to make school easier?" she asks, instead of pressing that. "I know it's kinda new for you to be going to school with your whole brain." ... jeez, amnesia's a real common affliction among her buddies, isn't it? "All you need to do is ask!"
"I think we might try Hammer or X4 next," Akane says, absently letting the hand attached to the arm draped across Alouette slide up toward her hair. "Hammer's a little romantic... and X4 is so good, too." Her thought train drifts a little, and she asks, "Are these curls a ton of work? Ahaha... I'd never be able to keep up." Part of the nice thing about her hairstyle is that it wouldn't be a lot of effort even if she weren't able to absolutely control her look.
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Alouette doesn't say anything as Akane adjusts herself closer and closer. It feels a little too close for people who are just friends, she thinks, but maybe she doesn't know much about that after all..
Hmm.. making school easier. "Academically, I think everything is fine. Exams went well and the teachers have all been excellent. Other than that..." she thinks for a couple seconds. "What you're already doing for me is more than enough." Her problems with settling into Tsutsujidai.. had come from outside. None of them could be blamed on Tsutsujidai itself or Akane.
"Either of those sounds good," Alouette nods. "Didn't you recommend Hammer way back when we first met, even?" Alouette didn't show too much interest back then, but she's actually pretty invested now.
"Ahh, a lot of people ask me about them. I don't think it's too much trouble, because I'm used to styling my hair like this," she answers, in regards to how much work the curls are. "They're pretty distinctive, but I don't think it's something I would want to change." And that's when she notices Akane move her hand towards them. Normally, she'd probably instinctively grab Akane's hand away from her hair, but she supposes it's fine.. it's late and it doesn't matter if her hair is absolutely perfect right now.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane breathes a small sigh of relief. It's a little -- nervewracking, to hear that she can't think of anything Akane isn't doing for her, but at the same time, isn't that just a sign she's doing a good job?
"I think I did, yeah!" Akane remembers, at the mention of having recommended Hammer early. "Usually boy-and-boy romances aren't my thing, but they have a really interesting dynamic... it's a little complicated at first. They start out as enemies. I haven't actually seen the movie yet, but I think it's out... we could watch it together some time. It might be a couple weeks, though... things are busy."
Lazily feeling the hair, Akane continues, "-- Oh, wow. It looks like it'd be so much stiffer than it is. I can tell you take a ton of care with it." And then she just...
... stays there. She doesn't need to make any more direct offers, but -- half-embracing Alouette kind of stands on its own. Her heart picks up the pace a little bit --
-- and then she abruptly shifts tracks. Wrong need. Different one. "... Do you want me to cook dinner?" she asks, staying where she is rather than immediately scrambling to do it. "Lately it's been kind of an obligation... it might be nice to do it for fun instead."
<Pose Tracker> Alouette Pommier has posed.
Enemies to lovers is a classic setup, and it being a MLM relationship doesn't kill her interest; Alouette has seen a lot of hetero stuff, and it's refreshing to see other types of romances for a change. "Absolutely, I'd love to see it together sometime. And don't worry, I know you're busy, so take your time."
"Thank you!" she replies, to the comment on the hair. "I usually wake up extra early each morning just to make it perfect, you know." And then it goes silent for a bit, as the sun slowly begins to set. And then...
Akane detaches herself and offers to make dinner. Alouette doesn't want to reject her, but she also doesn't feel like sitting there and watching her make it, so her mind makes a compromise. "Why don't we both work on dinner together?" She begins to stand up and stretch. That was a long time spent just sitting.. and combined with the heavy topics they just went through, she feels like she needs to walk around a bit. "There's some ingredients in the fridge, so we can take a look."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Sounds great! Though, uh... I'll probably just have tomato juice, so -- pick what you like best!" Akane says, excited for this part for sure. She can use it to... clear the cobwebs about everything else. Get back to where she should be, with -- everything.
... She needs to get bolder, though. And fast, at this rate. Opportunities are slipping through her fingers...