2022-10-04: I'm trapped with a room with you trapped on a ship with me, but we'll all be free soon, darlings
- Log: I'm trapped with a room with you trapped on a ship with me, but we'll all be free soon, darlings
- Cast: Yuliana Dispersal, Lilith Aiden, Mineva Lao Zabi
- Where: The Gwennangorn, over Korea
- Date: 2022-10-04
- Summary: Lilith and Mineva come to check on Yuliana before her transfer back to the REA. Lilith lasts longer in the room than Mineva does. Yuliana doesn't get to be half as terrible as she'd like to be.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Yuliana came aboard the Gwennangorn in dire straits. Her wanzer was bodily crushed -- the flamer fuel tank on its back exploded -- and Yuliana had to be carved out of her machine. It didn't survive the process; she did, though it took hours of effort.
She's made only two requests. Firstly, the use of a phone -- not to contact her superiors, but to tell her fiancee she's okay. She kept that conversation short, emphasising the fact that she was on a borrowed line... and that the Gwennangorn was seeing to her needs satisfactorily. And, of course, that she loved her, which is a very normal thing to say to someone you're set to marry.
That aside, she demands to be returned to the REA as soon as possible. She's quite agitated about it, but she's still listened to reason each time the person visiting points out she's not well enough to just take the next shuttle off Gwennangorn.
Part of the reason she's so insistent may well be the... complexity of the medication regime Yuliana is on. She's shared what she takes -- both daily and as needed -- but has declined to officially comment on why she's taking so many medications. Her remarks about her past medical history amount to 'no comment', at times verbatim. She is remarkably taciturn -- even subtly hostile -- to those offering her medical care. Of course, she also has a flinch response to procedures, an expectation of pain, and she submits with surprising readiness given her scepticism of the Gwennangorn's treatment... so there are certain conclusions one might draw, particularly given the REA's reputation.
She has been unwilling to comment on any of this baseless conjecture from strangers, of course.
She's been recovering in the medical bay for a few days, now. She's stable, at least, lying here. The line has been removed from her hand, but her right wrist is still captured in a brace to restrict its movement, and there are still plenty of regenerative patches and bandages applied her skin to repair the damage. The bangs which normally veil the left side of her face have been clipped back to give access to her forehead, where another of those cuts has been covered up, and so the long vertical scar down the left side of her face is plainly visible. Her eye, envy-green, still works just fine; her surgeon was very, very skilled.
And while Yuliana was lying here, out of contact with her people -- the REA identified her behaviour as unbecoming and promised to provide her with counselling for her stress. This, despite the fact that Yuliana has had no contact with the REA since the battle.
Something's strange. Perhaps a lot of things are.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
The first thing Lilith Aiden notices, as she crosses through into the medical bay, is a form of silence. She doesn't lurch, but she pauses, abruptly, noticeably. She can't feel Alma, or her crew, or anyone around her. She's always said 'maybe I'd be better off not being a Newtype', but this is weird as hell. She's not sure she likes it.
But she's not sure she doesn't. She'd heard the rumors of Yuliana Dispersal, though, so she came prepared for this.
Her lilac hair is done up, revealing the twenty-year-old burn scars on her forehead. Lilith's in her usual uniform, as she makes her way forward. Her expression is stoic - but more forcibly. She's having to remember how to control her expression range more without magical empathy. "Captain Dispersal. I'm Captain Lilith Aiden. You'll be happy to know we're on-route to an REA handoff as we speak. We still have time before we get there, so I wanted to meet you personally."
Lilith looks over her, but doesn't let her expression change into one of pity. It's a good thing Yuliana can't sense that on her. "I heard your superiors already threw you under the bus. I know how that feels." She doesn't express anything else, because from what she heard, Yuliana was an ASS, but she also had angry anti-Zeon tirades as a young woman, so, no place to judge.
"How's your pain?"
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Mineva accompanies Lilith to the infirmary; she'd wanted to see for herself how badly the Federation troops were hurt. She didn't expect to feel like she was, gradually, being psychically deafened as she approached the door. The equivalent of having water stuck in your ears after getting out of the pool, at first, a dulling and muffling.
By the time she's actually inside, it's like the world has lost an entire dimension of color, like her ears are shut to everything except the rush of blood. She's visibly disoriented for a few moment.
"Why can't I..." she murmurs to herself, rubbing two fingers against her temple as she stands beside Lilith. "Captain Aiden, do you feel...?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
It's the same aura as years prior, but Yuliana is a person, not a machine. Of course, there was no explanation back then, either. Yuliana's in the bed closest to the medical bay doors, which is the first hint that her condition was life-threatening -- but now, it makes it immediately obvious for anyone stepping inside that something is wrong.
It's better once you move inside. The other beds aren't even in her sphere of influence!
Yuliana opens her eyes and turns her head to Lilith -- she's able to sit up, or at least has been helped to do so, which is at least a little less dignified than just lying there. Her own expression is weary and numbed, characteristic of managed pain.
Green as jealousy, her eyes settle behind the Captain, to the girl behind her, at her murmuring. A little lift of her upper lip; her eyes shut, just briefly.
She'd enjoy this much more in any other situation.
And back to Lilith. "Thank you, Captain," she says, and sounds grateful enough -- a little pained, a little strained, but she did almost die back there. Perhaps her expression can be forgiven for not matching up so perfectly. "My... my pain is fine enough," she answers her last question next, and there's a little note of hesitation which might show some unfamiliarity with the approach. "It's not overbearing."
She frowns, fingers of her left hand curling in. (She's been allowed to put her engagement band back on now the swelling has gone down; diamond and emerald, all set in gold.) There's something that bothers her about Lilith, but her mind can't immediately settle on it, so it lands on what it can reach, instead. "I'll be glad to get home," she assures her. "But... what was that you said about my superiors..?" Yuliana hasn't exactly been checking the intranet in here.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
"Mineva," Lilith begins, having returned to casual address wih her, "I don't feel right now either. Don't let it bother you too much." It's bothering Lilith more and more, but she's trying to be professional and not seem like she's judging Yuliana.
As Yuliana talks, Lilith listens. She finally frowns at the superiors mention. She had falsely assumed someone would have mentioned it to her...now she has to break the news.
"A press statement was released. You're being put on two weeks stress leave with reprimand after your...outburst. It's written as if you agreed to this, but you've been here the whole time, and we've had no REA contact besides the transfer request. I'd know."
"I don't begrudge you myself for what you said, if that matters. I'm Australian, and I was a pilot in the One Year War." She lets the information settle together to reveal what she means.
"Mineva, are you alright?" Lilith checks on her again, making sure she's still not distancing out.
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Mineva frowns, nods, and takes in a deep breath to try and adjust. Something like this... must be coming from someone here. She doesn't know who, or where, but...
She screws her eyes shut a moment, and nods. "I'm... fine," she lies, taking an extra moment to process what the pair are saying, looking to Lilith and then Yuliana. "... trying to save face, surely." She doesn't know what Yuliana said--it was difficult enough to keep her focus on Banagher and the Unicorn without trying to listen for others--but... she has a sense of how the military machine works. "Bad press is bad morale... so they'd want to get out in front of it."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Oh, Yuliana thinks, Mineva can be bothered if she wants. Please, feel free to be agonised on her account.
It's too bad she can't really dig her claws into this, right now.
"Ah," Yuliana puffs out a breath, head sinking back into her headboard. If they say she was stressed, "... clearly, I am stressed," she affirms the REA's position, with the sort of bone-weariness of someone just submitting to that bus rolling over her. Her eyes close, and perhaps she's tired. "The Republic is simply very efficient, you understand."
Efficient enough to decide what she needs before even looking at her.
"It's as they said, as they said it," she insists, a shade stiff, when Mineva suggests it's all about saving face. Whether the grimace on her face is an acknowledgement that her loyalty isn't painting the full picture of the REA's qualities, or just a comment on her present physical situation -- well, that's ambiguous.
Lashes a veil, her eyes crack open, to glance aside to Lilith after a long moment. "... back then, I was a civilian in Indonesia... the flooding," she adds, softly, two words to describe the massive tsunami waves which rocked the ocean when Sydney was annihilated.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith can't really tell Mineva's lying as easily as she normally would, so she just nods. As Yuliana accepts her 'fate', Lilith just sighs. "I understand. They're throwing me into the fire for choosing the pilots over the base. Not that I could have done much to alter the course without a pile of bodies."
The mention of Indonesia just gets a solemn nod. Mineva would have been far too young to have a single memory, Lilith thinks briefly, glancing at her wordlessly, before turning back to Yuliana.
"You fought alongside Lieutenant Stirner. Thank you, especially if you two are friends. She's very important to me." A pause. "Is there anything I can do for you, before we arrive at the handoff? We're over Korea right now."
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Mineva was too young to remember it--but if not for the psychic deadzone surrounding Yuliana, Lilith might feel her heart sink into her stomach as the weight of the words hits her.
She looks away as her father comes to mind--Dozle Zabi, the man who carried out Operation British. A man she only knows secondhand, through photo and video... and through Char.
"I'm sorry," she says quietly, gripping her elbows, as she struggles in vain to find something, anything, to grab onto in this sucking void she's floating in.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Ah," Yuliana breathes, when Lilith shares the fire she's in. "I'm familiar. I've found myself in trouble for similar issues, after all." Now, was she being entirely honest when she was valuing people over property? 'Entirely' is a strong word. Let's focus on results.
She nods, though, and manages to smile when Lilith mentions Alma. (Despite her wounds? Despite her wounds.) "Yes," she says. "We are wonderful friends... I'm grateful she was there. Things may have gone much more poorly for me, if Alma were not set to my safety." She pauses, and adds: "Captain Aiden... can I ask what you were up to, in '88? Weren't you addressing the Mycenae, back then..?"
But -- Mineva apologises, and Yuliana's eyes narrow. "This isn't my ship," she informs her, cool, "so it's hardly my place to accept your apology,"
Her sentence falls to a vast, vast pit, and in the way of falling it hangs, there, for a moment, a thread of anticipation, a guillotine:
"Miss Zabi."
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith manages to smile at the thought Alma is good friends with Yuliana. Even if she has the outburst, even if she's...a void, they must get along well. "'88...yes, I was part of the AEUG fighting the Mycenae, from time to time. I piloted a red Nemo variant back then, was a good unit. Everyone was capable of using it, not just aces."
Lilith ices, though, when Zabi is mentioned. Mineva is about to get hit hard - and she can't feel the compassion, so she must hear it. "Then I'll accept it. You were an infant. Sins of the father, and what not..."
<Pose Tracker> Mineva Lao Zabi has posed.
Mineva sucks in a breath as the name drops. She feels blind--without intent, without emotion, without any way to read beyond basic social cues, it feels... almost accusatory.
Of course, Lilith is right. Rationally, she bears no personal responsibility for the actions of the Zabi family before her...
But even so...
"They're not my sins... but... it's difficult not to feel responsible..." Particularly when the latest claimants to Zeon's legacy use her as a symbol, a rallying point...
Yuliana's words, that look on her face... they feel like the pit at the center of the void, full of seething, bitter disdain.
"I'm sorry. Please excuse me." The wayward 'Princess of Zeon' turns to leave, breaking into a run, trying to get as far from that horrible, numb blindness as she can.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
For a moment, looking at Mineva, Yuliana is just one more person who's decided to hate her despite hearing only thirty-two words from her mouth -- many not even directed at Yuliana herself. There is anger, there, in her eyes.
And there is pain.
Nothing good comes from space -- but how would a child come to decide that, when the infinite possibilities of space fascinate so many children?
She asks to be excused, and Yuliana -- allows? commands? excuses? -- "Run along, now." Her tone is still cool, but not overtly harsh. Given the shape of her words, it's not impossible to believe she's trying to be reassuring.
Particularly given the way she sighs, head sinking back as Mineva hurries out. Her tongue clicks at her teeth, with a frustrated noise. "Tcha..! I'm no good with children..." Does she regret, then, that the Princess ran out so abruptly?
She regrets something, certainly.
"Well... I'm afraid I'll have to leave that to you," Yuliana sighs, shaking her head. "As I recall, it's hardly even the first time... when I was a brat of a Private stealing a wanzer to go give the Mycenae a piece of my mind, you were one of the people who yanked me from the jaws of death, if I'm remembering right."
Private Yuliana Dispersal, as it happens, snuck out despite the fact she was mechanic instead of a pilot, because she was sick of her people not addressing the Mycenae Empire. She disobeyed orders to help normal people, because it was the right thing to do.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
As Mineva runs off, Lilith is about to call out, but Yuliana speaks first. Lilith grimaces, but...Mineva needs her space, and security outside will make sure she's safe and guarded.
"Wanzer...ah! Yes, I remember. That entire war was a mess, but at least you tried to fight, and still are - it didn't scare you off. I'm glad you made it out."
Lilith's approval score goes up. How concerning.
"I met Alma- Lieutenant Stirner, on the battlefield." She eyes the engagement ring as she says it, smiling. "It's a lovely ring. Your fiancee must be quite the lucky person, not to say you aren't as well." Lilith is still feeling weird in this void.
She can't check Yuliana's mood, but she thinks she likes her. Pities her, a little, but...if she's a friend of Alma's...
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
Is it cruel to distract Lilith from Mineva while she's in pain? Yes,
...
oh, stop waiting, there's no qualifying statement to that sentence.
Her right hand -- gingerly, given the wrist brace -- comes to rest over her left, fingers playing about her ring. Yuliana smiles, again, and it's a warm expression. "We're very fortunate to have each other," she agrees, and all the tension in her expression flees her face in the wake of Elisa. "My boyevaya podruga," a Zaftran phrase which does loosely translate to combat friend, meaning someone she'll stick beside no matter what battles they face, "she is everything to me." Fingers playing about that ring, Yuliana's tone drops, just a little. "I must thank you for... ensuring I can see her again."
Saving her life, implicitly. She can't see her again if she's dead.
"I have always... been a little reckless," Yuliana admits, and certainly it sounds vulnerable, the way her gaze shifts aside. "It's rather shameful I still end up this way, even now I've experience of my own, but..." Her sentence trails, fades, and never entirely ends.
<Pose Tracker> Lilith Aiden has posed.
Lilith is starting to tingle emotionally from the void. It's feeling numbing at last, but something about Yuliana's presence is calming, in a way. She seems like a good person. And while Lilith could step away and reorient herself, it'd be rude to talk to her from far away.
"Likewise, for Alma. I hope we get a chance to duke it out on the battlefield together. Maybe, who knows, you'll save me." It's a playful joke, as she listens to the 'vulnerability'.
"I know how that feels. Being reckless. I almost got myself killed when I was younger. But...hey, we're alive now, right? Let's make the best of the future."
Lilith doesn't turn to leave just yet, but she indicates with a nod. "I should leave you to it, though. We're going to transfer soon, and the docs will want to make one last check that you're sound enough for it. I have faith they've taken good care of you."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Dispersal has posed.
"Oh, I'm sure we'll meet on the field of battle someday," Yuliana assures Lilith, and she sounds kind enough. "Londo Bell might be occupied with different priorities to the Republic, but the Federation stands together... mm, yes, who knows?" She smiles, and perhaps she's joking, too: "One day, I may be all that stands between you and a horrible fate!"
A horrible fate like Yuliana's present condition, presumably. What else would she mean?
The fate of Newtypes under her will is...
"So long as we keep helping each other, we'll surely stay alive," Yuliana says, and wonders, privately, whether Lilith would have kept to her morals if she knew what was to come.
Well, the sentence is good-natured enough, and she's smiling; these ideals of mutual support and mateship are some of the nicer qualities of a career soldier, all told.
She nods, settling back against her headboard support. "Understood," Yuliana says, breathing out. "They..."
Yuliana pauses, here, sentence hitching on itself a little, as she looks up to the ceiling lights. "... they've certainly... taken an interesting approach..." Why would it be interesting, to receive care which respected her feelings and experiences?
Why on earth does she sound just a little afraid, commenting on it?
"... it's... been just fine," she settles on, finally. "My thanks for seeing to the transfer, Captain. Good luck out there."
Yuliana will be home soon... she's too vulnerable, out here, reliant on Newtypes for aid.