2022-09-28: Untethering
- Log: 2022-09-28- Untethering
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Yuka Ohta
- Where: ?????
- OOC - IC Date: ?????
- Summary: Akane makes a friend.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The outskirts of Nagoya, 0081. Long before the Britannian invasion.
It's been two days since Yuka Ohta saw Horoboros. No one trusts a girl young enough you can count her age on her fingers -- save her great-grandmother, but... that could be the indulgence of a great-grandmother, right?
Yuka's great-grandmother is out for the night -- which means, of course: a babysitter.
It's the neighbor girl -- Shinjo. (... didn't the Shinjo family just welcome their first child last year? Didn't they live on the other side of the city, at that? Who's this sixteen year old?)
(... it's fine. Some other Shinjo, no doubt.)
They're three episodes into Tarabaman (plus one into Kaiju Coliseum!) when the girl lazily tosses her lilac hair and takes a long, lazy sip of her tomato juice, looking across the table and down at the young Yuka.
"Yuka-kun," she starts, gently easing her way into a question. She's tentative -- but there's a gravity in her voice, too, that suggests that whatever she's thinking about, she's taking it seriously.
"You're the girl who says she saw Horoboros, right?"
She shifts her position from sitting seiza to a lazy mermaid-sit across the zabuton. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuka Ohta has posed.
Tarabaman is a miracle worker, to ease the pains of a child. Each episode that passes, sees her face light up just a little bit more. It's quite the sight, to see her go from withdrawn to all-smiles over the course of an hour or two.
The floor all around her is covered in paper. Amateur artwork, no doubt, but with such shocking detail and attention for such a young child. And scribbles of writing...It's impossible to tell what it says. Or should be. But Shinjo knows what each bit says, doesn't she? All kinds of notes on the figures in her artwork.
Even as a child, Yuka has a talent and passion.
Little Yuka turns to look at her babysitter, when that question comes up. And her smile turns to a frown. "Th-that's right. I did. But... you don't believe it either, do you?" After all, only one person so far has even humored her at all. Even kids her own age are saying she's a liar. Or, less kindly, saying she's lost her mind. It's no surprise she doesn't have much faith right now. Ever since then, she's been treated with disdain, as if she's got some plague.
"...But I do. I wanna shout it from the rooftop." There's a tiny spark of hope there, visible in her eyes. They were enjoying Tarabaman together after all, so... maybe?
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The artwork gets a smile from Akane -- actually a pretty genuine one, at that. She looks it over with patience and enthusiasm. "Hehehe," she starts, scooting a little closer to the table. Her gaze sweeps down as she notes, "I like this one!" She holds up a drawing of Nalgus. "I like the one from Éclatant best... if you work on learning French, we can watch that one too!"
They can't linger on that type of thing for very long, though. Akane made the conversation serious, and so, they have to. "Hmmm... you know, I think it's actually kinda mean of them," she says. "A lot of people don't trust kids. I think... as you get older... it gets hard to remember that kinda thing."
Her expression turns a little wistful as she says, "Some people won't believe what you say no matter how hard you can prove it." She turns her gaze down toward the kaiju again. "I don't want to be... someone like that."
... she's already become the kind of person who struggles to believe others. In a dream, though... a dream can have the kinds of people she'd hoped existed. In a dream... maybe she can even be that kind of person. After all, she has control over so much more.
She perks up. It's a cruel thing to hold a girl like Yuka hostage to those worries -- so she shoves them down. "So actually... well, I wanna hear more about it!" She puts a hand down behind herself, propping herself up in her frankly-sloppy sitting posture a bit.
"Tell me everything."
Something nags at the back of Yuka's mind. This is too easy -- this isn't... how it was supposed to go, was it? This moment of loneliness was supposed to spur her forward -- lead her to not just friends but comrades, people who genuinely understood her.
... wouldn't it have been more comfortable, though, if that had been it...? If things had been just a little less difficult, a little less lonely...
... just once...
Maybe then she could have connected with people before making it to STORAGE. She deserved that kinder world -- that world that would never show her the pain of rejection or mistrust.
<Pose Tracker> Yuka Ohta has posed.
Days like this, smiling with someone who shares her interests. They're something to treasure. She's given a challenge, but little Yuka never backs away from one of those. "It's a promise then! French sounds hard to learn, but I'll do it! Then we can share your favorite together!" There's no sense of worry about how long that might take. No thought of how improbable it sounds. Yuka's decided it's a good idea, and she's going to commit to it.
She listens, as Akane says a lot of difficult things. Yuka might be a gifted child. May be a genius by the time she's an adult. But right now? She can't be more than seven years old. So some parts of it go over her head as she scrunches up her face.
(Don't they? Why does a part of her feel like she DOES understand it?)
Yuka starts to come up and hug Akane's leg when she says she wants to hear about it. Something stops her. Remembering a rule she sat down when she came in. That she doesn't like being touched. If she wants a hug, she'll initiate it herself. Important rule to set down for young children, even if most, unlike Yuka, would have ignored it. She sniffles a little. "I'll tell you everything then!"
There's an itch at the back of her mind as she starts to tell her story, in that way only small children can. The nudge is telling her something's wrong, but... no. That feels dark and painful. Whatever it is, she pushes it away for right now.
Was it worth it, really? That long stretch of being lonely and outcast? Throwing her entire self into a driving focus, to the exclusion of any sense of a normal life. Maybe she never could have been normal.
But wouldn't it have been better to have the chance? To have a friend who believes her along the way. Yuka's kept up a smile all this time, even when it hurts. Even when it's the hardest thing in the world. She wants... a connection. Somebody who understands.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
That's a fascinating story. Akane scoots a little closer to her charge as she listens to it; 333 years... that feels like forever. And it would be right on time for it to start waking from such a slumber now.
(... Will she become that kind of legend, too, if she's ever pulled back from where Tsutsujidai belongs...?)
She gives Yuka a gentle ruffle of the hair as she finishes, and says, "... I believe you. There's no way you could make something like that out of a bad dream or a big cat you saw. I wanna look into it for you!"
Pulling herself back into a more upright sit befitting a babysitter, Akane lowers her whole body just a tiiiny bit more. The bid for a hug does actually catch her, too; she needs a moment, but... she does gesture Yuka a little closer and then draw her in.
"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything. All you need to worry about is having fun, okay?"
Would it have been so bad, to know someone else would take her seriously? Take care of her?
Would it be so bad now?
Things... don't exactly fall away. The dream shades into itself, at once fully the same and fully different. Yuka -- an adult, now, standing in an endless expanse of black cut through with wire after wire after wire, red and yellow and green.
"You get it, right?" comes Akane's voice -- a little more hollow than before. The enthusiasm for Yuka's dreams is gone. "There's not much in the world that changes with one person gone... I don't think 'something only I can do' ever really exists."
She saunters toward Yuka, utility knife in hand. It twirls around her fingers lazily, once. "The coveralls kind of work for you," she says, "but there's a few things I don't think really suit anymore."
The situation is well past asking for permission. She scoots up toward the researcher, looking at the beakers and flasks on her name badge. "This shouldn't hurt."
Akane's lips turn up. Her eyes don't reflect that. The hand not using the utility knife hangs limp.
She begins picking that name badge right back off of the left side of Yuka's chest, stitch by stitch. "You like the hearts of kaiju so much, don't you? That's why the symbol of your research is right over yours!" Tick. Tick. The seams holding the patch there pop one after another, as Akane slices through them. It flops forward once only the seams along the bottom remain. As the young lady repositions her knife, still hovering dangerously close to Yuka's chest:
"I don't think kaiju need hearts at all."
<Pose Tracker> Yuka Ohta has posed.
The small, innocent Yuka is so cheerful and happy as she's swept up into a hug. Overjoyed at somebody listening and understanding. Somebody... believing her story. It's everything she ever wanted.
(Ever? Wasn't this less than a month ago? Why would she think that as if it's been years?)
She understands. She'll just relax and have fun. Miss Shinjo is going to take care of everything. All Yuka has to do is whatever makes her happy!
—--
As the dream slides into something new and Yuka begins to appear as an adult again, her colder, less expressive eyes glance around. It's not worry in her eyes. More... a vague, dampened curiosity. Her expression is just that bit less lively compared to usual. All these wires, they feel... familiar. Maybe... like scaled up modeling wire? That thought fades as quickly as it arrives, as her eyes settle on Akane.
"...I didn't before. But lately. It makes more sense to me. What have I been doing that somebody else can't?" Quite a lot actually. STORAGE probably wouldn't function without her. They certainly wouldn't have either of their trademark robots without her designs and capability. Or the battery optimization that made them able to USE the second one. There have been several kaiju her insight has been pivotal for beating... and doesn't THAT part feel all the worse. That her knowledge was used just to destroy the things she loves, instead of finding ways to reach an understanding, or pacify them.
But right now, none of those things She did are on her mind. Only what she hasn't been able to do. Helping Akane break free, and giving her the tools to be saved. Protecting Kaworu and helping him bond with people. Helping the other people at NERV heal from their own traumas. She hasn't even been able to figure out what's behind that medal that seems to have installed a Namegon with... Angelic Traits.
Well, surely Dr. Cektru will figure that out. She even does her own piloting, unlike Yuka. And with that it all clicks into place. Yuka is so easy to replace, with somebody who can do all she can and more, but without the temper and attitude that puts off people from investing in STORAGE.
She doesn't flinch as her patch is steadily shorn away. "I do, just like... everything about them, really. But what do you mean? They don't... need hearts? How will they survive without them?" 'How will I survive without mine?' echoes faintly in the dreamscape, unsaid by anyone. And yet... she makes no move to run away. Even with the knife so precariously close to her own. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean just physical hearts...
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Akane hovers there for just a second longer. Yuka... isn't a particularly bad adult or anything. Part of Akane wonders, for just a moment, if they could've turned out even more the same if things had gone another way so long ago. If she'd been older (or younger, strangely enough) -- if the invasion of Japan had come at any other time, could her path have been much the same?
... then again -- Yuka loves kaiju with all her heart. There's nothing about Akane's heart even capable of that kind of genuine bond. Everything she's done all year... has been about carving those bonds apart.
Speaking of which. Tick, tick. Another stitch on that badge. Another carving-off. "I don't think that question is that important," Akane answers. "Kaiju have always been apart from everything else, right? What they want, what they need... that's what makes them the stars of the show." She lets out a momentary sigh, closing her eyes. "I think it's better to leave the question of how they'll survive up to them."
And if they don't... well. Is it really so bad?
Yuka's name patch, with its cute little flasks and beakers, falls to... well, something like ground, at any rate. Akane steps on it calmly. "Do you mind making yourself kind of a pain to follow?" comes her request. "I know they'll find their way to us sooner or later, but... it might make things easier if I have a little extra time."
<Pose Tracker> Yuka Ohta has posed.
"Not important... I guess you're right. I've been... projecting onto them too. They know what they need, better than somebody like me." For anyone else, it would surely be heartbreaking to watch, as Yuka's eyes seem to slowly lose their shine and zest for life. She almost seems... hollowed out, as if some essential piece of her simply up and walked away. She never even casts a glance down at the fallen patch.
If they don't survive... that's just how it goes. It's just... inevitable, sometimes. Why did she ever think she could stop that? Had any RIGHT to stop that?
She's vaguely aware of the request, as a haze settles into her head. So she nods in Akane's direction. "I can make that happen. I learned that skill a long time ago. To lose a trail, and be annoying to find." Of course she did. Why wouldn't that be essential learning for an outcast?
Yuka finds she has one other question to offer. "...Would you like me to bring my own model supplies along?" Is it because she's offering them to be useful? Or maybe just because it's a hobby. Something she can sink into and forget everything else.
She can't protect them, or anyone. ...So she'll preserve the cold, distant memory. A static, unchanging record of what is. What was. If everything is inevitable, this was always the only choice that could exist.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Something unchanging -- something unlimited. Oh, how Akane would love to see that.
"That could be fun. Maybe I'll show you the whole process," Akane offers, though she doesn't sound that enthused, actually. Something about the act of creating kaiju kind of ceased to be fun somewhere around Go'yavec. Something only she can do -- something she must do...
"Perfect. I'll see you around town," she ultimately agrees.
Alexis looks genuinely impressed -- insofar as he ever looks anything. (It's a subtle movement of the head and shoulders, a marginal improvement in posture.) "You really have managed to outdo yourself, Akane-kun! In terms of neutralizing your enemies, this might be your most effective kaiju yet."
"Mmhm." That's all Akane gives him. Despite a roaring success, she's never felt more hollowed-out and static herself.
Akane stares up, past an illusory sky. It feels like the 'honest' sky above is closing in. ... when the city in the sky meets hers, will the buildings grind together like a kaiju's teeth?
Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.