2022-09-07: Put On Your Own Mask First
- Cast: Yuta Hibiki, Kamille Bidan
- Where: Tsutsujidai
- Date: U.C. 0096 09 07
- Summary: Yuta searches for a helping hand. Kamille finds more connection than he was expecting.
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
Kamille Bidan, M.D., is not sure how he became Kamille Bidan, Monster Investigator Or Something. It's just that between his friend Guy being taken down by powerful monsters, those NERV kids dealing with monsters that hurt him right in the Newtype if he gets too close, and old memories of AEUG working alongside Photon Power Labs, it seems like he just...has a lot of run-ins with them, and he feels like he ought to figure out more about them. Which has led him to visit quiet Tsutsujidai, which by all accounts has a lot of monsters and...nothing to show for it. No scaffolding on buildings hastily repaired and reconstructed. No fenced-off danger zones. Nothing.
And a *terrible* layout as far as he is concerned.
"I don't get it! It looks like a grid! A solid grid!" At least according to his GPS, and yet he has gone around in a circle three times trying to find City Hall or anything resembling it. He has passed this same stupid drink machine at the same city over and over. It's the same one, dammit! He is aware he looks like a very frazzled and irritated young man muttering to himself, but when he gets annoyed enough he stops caring. Much.
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
What does someone wear to a doctor's appointment? Especially when the doctor comes to you! Yuta rummages through his closet, tossing clothes this way and that. In the end, he decides on his school uniform, vest and all. It's a bit much for such a hot day, but he wants to make a good first impression. This was Leina's friend, after all!
Yuta holds onto the slip of paper Leina had given him as he sits outside his apartment. 'Dr. Kamille Bidan. Tell him you're a friend of Leina Ashta.' Looking up from the instructions, he checks his phone. Time to get going.
As he walks, the sun beats down on him. It doesn't take too long until Yuta comes face to face with a very frustrated looking young man -- very clearly an outsider. There's only so many people in Tsutsujidai, after all! Yuta scratches at the side of his face. "Hi. Sorry if this is weird, but are you Dr. Bidan?"
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
It's not hard to identify Dr. Bidan even if one isn't a scholar of the Gryps Conflict. Very blue floofy hair, bluer eyes, scowly. Currently pondering if it would help his emotional state to punch this stupid soda machine. It's just there, mocking him and his sudden loss of his sense of direction. He used to navigate colonies just fine, and Green Noa was mapped out like a spider's web! Just one punch on the machine, just one-
He hears a voice address him and quickly changes gears. Yes, he's just Getting a Drink, that's right, just Picking Out a Bottled Tea. He flushes, clears his throat and turns around to see Yuta. "Ah, yes actually!" He blinks, not expecting anyone to recognize him. "It's quite alright, though I'm off-duty if this is a medical issue. Can I help you?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta blinks. Was this man about to attack a vending machine?
Putting that thought aside for the moment, Yuta steps closer, offering his hand. "Yeah! I'm Yuta Hibiki, and Leina Ashta sent me? I think you're here to meet me."
He's nervous, that much is clear. Yuta looks like a fairly average high-school boy, if rather short. If anything, the most unusual thing about him is how... colorful he is. With hair as red as any apple, and eyes bluer than should really appear in nature, he's a bit of a spectacle compared to the average person of Tsutsujidai. A wristband covers his left wrist, but the rest of his outfit is normal, even average.
"I'd be happy to invite you back to my apartment, if you like? My parents are," there's a pause that lasts a bit too long, "on a trip, so we'd have privacy. And I've got some cool drinks, if you want!"
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
Kamille is rather short for an adult man himself, and even he, in his (mildly!) stressed state, notices how...vivid Yuta seems compared to everyone else. He just chalks that up to exhaustion on his part. He just hasn't been paying as much attention to the thin crowds.
He stands up straighter when he recognizes the name Yuta drops. "Ah, a friend of Leina's!" Which means she probably had some reason of her own for sending this Yuta his way. "Well, thank you, if it isn't too much trouble. It would be nice to get out of the heat." He pretends he was never planning on doing violence to a vending machine. Who, him?
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta smiles. "Leina is really great. She recommended you!" He begins to lead the way, looking back to make sure Kamille is coming. Thankfully, it's not too far to his apartment building. It's a nice enough place -- clean and bright. Yuta lives a few floors up.
"Here we are." He opens the door with a smile. "Just a second, I'll get some refreshments. Please, make yourself at home!" Yuta hurries into the kitchen.
There's a couch in front of a coffee table. A few windows let light into the room -- notably, there's a bluetooth speaker in the center of the table. The apartment feels somewhat unlived in, with few personal items scattered around. Before it can feel uncomfortable, Yuta returns with a tray in his arms. There's water bottles, two speciality sodas, even a little plate of cookies.
"These are the best sodas in Tsutsujidai." Yuta says proudly, as he puts the tray down on the coffee table. He helps himself to one of the sodas -- a marble trapped within the neck of the bottle rattles as it moves. "I hope they're to your liking!"
The marble rattles around again as Yuta takes a drink. He looks down, fussing with the lid of the bottle in his hands. "Dr. Bidan, how much do you know about Tsutsujidai?"
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
As a doctor? No, Kamille thinks, it's got to be more than that. If she thought Yuta needed Kamille as a doctor, she'd make a referral. This is probably something else.
He looks around the little apartment and takes note of how...sterile it is, but doesn't push the point. It'd be rude to ask, especially with how Yuta edged around his parents being 'on a trip.'
"Oh, ramune!" Not usually a soda drinker, he accepts one more out of hospitality than personal tastes. But he was a teenager once and he remembers how to open the marble sodas like a pro, only getting it a little fizzy. He takes a small drink, and then Yuta asks his question.
"...Not much. That it's a target for monsters, that it seems to be rebuilt too easily, that it can only be accessed by train. No air travel. I take it there's a lot more to know, and that's why Leina steered you to me?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Kamille likes the soda! Yuta smiles. It feels good to be appreciated as a host!
"Leina trusts you." He begins, looking up at Kamille again. "Leina said you've been through a lot, that'd you'd understand when things are, uh. Unusual. This is a really unusual city."
How to begin? Does he talk about himself, or Akane, or Tsutsujidai as a whole? All three are connected, of course. All three are spectacularly odd, as well. In the end, the full story comes tumbling out of Yuta's mouth, in the same order that he experienced it. He doesn't hold anything back -- leaning fully on Leina's trust.
Tsutsujidai is a creation of a girl Yuta's age, the god of this city. All the people within aren't human, but 'Repli-Compoid.' Yuta doesn't know what a 'Repli-Compoid' is. The god of this city, Akane, is their enemy, and tries to destroy them with their kaiju. Yuta doesn't want to hurt her, he wants to save her. Very few people in Tsutsujidai are 'real', or able to remember the kaiju attacks.
Gridman. Yuta transforms into a Giant of Light. When he fights as Gridman, the attacks he takes hurt him, even though the damage doesn't appear on his real body. Yuta has amnesia -- he can't remember anything before the day the kaiju and Gridman first appeared. He's been checked out by the doctors of Tsutsujidai, but -- if they're just creations of Akane, are they actually capable doctors? What if something is wrong with him that they missed?
"Leina said, um." Yuta takes a deep breath. It's clear he's upset himself, talking about all this. "That it's normal I didn't hang onto memories of my family or friends. The people I love. That I'm the first Repli-Compoid to ever get amnesia, probably. But I'm still... worried about it?" Yuta laughs, a little nervously. "It's stupid. Being worried about myself in the middle of all these people in danger. I'm scared it'll happen again, or something will be seriously wrong with me without anyone knowing about it."
His shoulders slump. "Sorry. That was so much."
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
Kamille hears everything.
If he were an ordinary civilian, he might find it a bit hard to take in. Virtual worlds come to life, Repli-Compoids, kaiju that reset, a Giant of Light...
But he's not an ordinary civilian. He saw buildings devoured by Zonderians and Doctor Hell's nightmarish Kikaiju rampage. He met (and idolized) Guy Shishioh, a cyborg who became something called an Evoluder that medical school is *still* figuring out. He has touched the dead more times than he likes to admit.
And Yuta needs him as a doctor after all.
He takes a little sip, and then gestures to the cookies. "You should probably have something yourself. That sounds like it was very stressful to talk about, I imagine. And thank you for trusting me with that information. I believe you, Yuta." And he knows now why Leina sent Yuta his way.
"There's a saying, 'put your oxygen mask on first.' It means you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. And it sounds like you've been fighting for others as Gridman for some time." His expression softens, goes from analytical to gentle and a little pained. "It's always young people who have to suffer to protect others...well, no matter. You don't want to forget again. You don't want to lose what you already have in your rebuilt life, am I right?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
When Kamille says he believes Yuta, the young man sighs in relief, a smile returning to his face. "Thank you so much. Some of my classmates think I'm lying about the whole amnesia thing."
Yuta takes a cookie, chewing on it quietly as Kamille speaks. "I've been fighting as Gridman for as long as I can remember. I'm proud to defend Tsutsujidai, but it's getting harder. In the beginning, it was just kaiju. But now it's real people, and my friends are getting hurt. I never wanted to hurt anyone." Yuta's voice is very soft.
"Yeah. I know I haven't been around very long, but what I've built is precious to me. My friends, my comrades... Even the hard times. I want to keep it all safe." Bright blue eyes look at Kamille, somewhat beseechingly. "Is there a way to know if that's possible, Dr. Bidan?"
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
"...I don't know."
Kamille isn't one to be indirect and soften a blow, but it looks like it pains him a bit to say so. "From the sound of it, you're something new. A Repli-Compoid, and we'd need to know more about how you, for lack of a better word, work. I'd love to say that anything is possible with enough determination, like some dear friends would say, but it doesn't always work out that way." He takes a slow sip of his soda, not used to the carbonation.
"But if it is possible, I want to try to help you. I'm not a psychologist," he admits, "but memory loss is usually linked to traumatic brain injury or major shock. It's possible when you lost your memories last time, you'd undergone something traumatic or stressful. That doesn't mean it will or won't happen again. You could try keeping a journal if you aren't already. Just jot down regular events, anything that seems noteworthy. Going out to lunch with friends. Homework stress. Keep your mind engaged, and on something besides what you're doing with Gridman."
Surely that's got to be something, right? There has to be a way to save this kid. What would Guy or Koji say?
"As for keeping your friends and comrades safe, I speak from experience. Fight alongside them. Trust them. Love them. Treasure them. You're just one person, Gridman or not, and you may not be able to keep everything safe yourself. But..." Hmm. "But you've got justice on your side. Something like that? And bonds, and those are more powerful than most people know."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta's face falls, just a bit, but he nods. Brains must be complicated, especially for an entirely new species. "Yeah. I've learned that the hard way. No matter how hard you try for something, sometimes it just isn't meant to be." Yuta's thoughts go to Akane, but he shakes his head quickly. He can't worry about that now.
"My friend, Rikka, is the one who found me. She said I was passed out in front of her house, she didn't know how I got there, or how long I'd been there, or anything." Yuta takes another bite of his cookie. Kamille is right, it's grounding to eat something. It makes him feel a little better. "A journal... Will that really help? It seems so simple. I was expecting some kind of serious medical test, or something!"
Yuta practically drinks in Kamille's words, hope blooming in his eyes again. "Justice and love -- it really makes a difference? There's someone I want to save, more than anyone! Akane. Even though she wants to kill me, there must be some way to get through to her. That'd be justice, right? Getting an innocent girl away from someone using her and hurting her?"
"Dr. Bidan, um." Yuta looks down, fussing with his armband for a moment. "How did you stop fighting? I keep hoping each battle will be the last, but more awful things keep happening in the world. I feel selfish just wanting a break from it all, but I don't think I'm cut out for this. It's not like I have anything else to do, really, but." Yuta pauses. "I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore."
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
"Well, I don't exactly have my equipment with me right now! And I could give you a checkup, but I'm not sure how much good it would do. You said you heal up after battles, that you don't maintain long-term injuries? Try to keep track of your energy levels too, document any symptoms. A journal can just do a lot for your mental health," says Kamille. "Believe me, justice and love makes a lot of difference. What's in people's hearts, what motivates them, it matters a lot more than whether you're human or a construct or anything else..."
And then Yuta, unknowingly, asks two questions that penetrate Kamille. He tries not to show it, burying his shock reaction with a swig of ramune and glancing away so Yuta doesn't see his eyes widen, but it's clear he's affected nonetheless. He looks distant for a moment, fragile.
The Psycho Gundam towers above him, its pilot blazing, her passion and her rage.
"You have to try," he says finally. "To help her. To listen to what she needs, to come to understand her, even if she always hates you. If you know she needs help, reach out to her and don't give up." He makes no promises.
To his second question, Kamille sighs and folds his hands. "No good news there. I was badly...wounded at the end of the Gryps Conflict, and was in no shape to pilot a Gundam for a while. I'm only still in practice now because I started practicing again while I recovered, just in case. And I had to stand by while people I cared about..." He stops and shakes his head. This isn't about him and his troubles. "You're not wrong to want a break. I think I'd be more worried if you enjoyed a life of stress and violence. It's not for everyone, and that's a good thing. If you need a break, take a break and don't be afraid to rely on your friends sometimes. You're not fighting alone, right? And you don't need to be wrung out like a towel, Gridman or not."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
"No no, I understand!" Yuta holds up a hand in an appeasing gesture. "I don't think Gridman can get injured, really. It just hurts when something hits us. Bullets, or drills... nothing ever actually happens to this body." Yuta gestures at himself. "But sometimes it's like it still hurts, even though nothing's there. It's not a huge deal, but I'll write it down!" It's nice to have SOMETHING to do that will help, after all. Inaction far more difficult. "I'll keep a journal, every night! Even if something happens, a part of me will still survive." It's almost a little sad, how quickly Yuta clings to this idea. It seems like this might be the only helpful thing he's been offered for his worries.
Yuta isn't a Newtype by any means, but he even he gets the sense that he's said something to upset Kamille. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask something that would bring up painful memories." Yuta half-stands, then sits again, his hands hovering in his lap. He wants to do something to help, but what? After a moment, he picks up a cookie and holds it out to Kamille.
"I'll try. I'll never give up." Yuta says, quietly. "Akane made all of us, but she's still a person. She's not some kind of invincible goddess. I want to go to school events together, and hang out as friends. She deserves more than hiding in her room and sending kaiju out to battle."
A wince. "S--sorry again. I'm sorry you were so hurt." Yuta fusses for a moment, tugging at the bottom of his sweater vest. "I know I'm just a stranger, but if you need to talk, I'll listen." Blue eyes are soft, as they look at Kamille. There's definitely something odd about them, something a little overbright, maybe?
"I... hope, maybe, once Akane is saved, that I won't have to fight anymore. Until then, I think I have to keep going. Akane really hates me, and so her kaiju focus on me in battle. If I'm not there, or other people get their attention..." Yuta's eyebrows draw together. "It happened in the last battle. Her kaiju shot down two of my allies because I couldn't keep its attention." He wavers, imagining fighting for the forseeable future. "But, maybe if she only sends out one, sometime? I'd really like to take a nap."
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
Kamille glances at the cookie for a second, and then takes it graciously with a little smile. "Thanks. You came to me, so I shouldn't burden you with my own troubles, at least not today. It's an adult's job to shoulder those. I have a feeling you're right, that you'll be able to reach her. Nothing about precognition or anything like that, just a sense of it. You've got a sincerity and strength of soul. I can tell." And he doesn't need to see an aura to tell that.
Eye contact with Kamille, direct eye contact, is strange. His own eyes are a vivid blue themselves, and there's something deep behind them, something that seems to draw from something else. And he notices how memorable Yuta's eyes are. Memorable, that's it. Probably just because the boy is under a lot of stress.
He breaks the eye contact and folds his hands on the table. "I hope you get to rest too. You deserve a break. I don't know what the future holds for you or Akane, but in the meantime, fight when you have to fight. Fight with your all, and then take care of yourself. Remember the thing about putting on your own mask first. And strapping yourself in first when the gravity fails. Same deal."
<Pose Tracker> Yuta Hibiki has posed.
Yuta nods, accepting Kamille's decision. "I'm sure you have lots of friends who support you, too." He ducks his head a little at the praise, but smiles. Being believed in by a heroic pilot has to count for something! "Thank you. I'll take every vote of confidence I can get!"
Blue eyes are significant in Tsutsujidai, marking someone as a true 'awake' person, able to remember the worst parts of the city. In a way, Kamille fits in that group perfectly. It's a little thing, but it makes Yuta feel more comfortable with Kamille. For a moment, Yuta wonders how the other man got injured so badly. He's seen videos of Gundam pilots, really, anything could go wrong. But it doesn't feel like the right time to ask a question like that.
Looking away when Kamille does, Yuta rolls the little marble around in his soda. "I will. I can't take care of anyone if I'm injured or something. As long as they need me, I'll do my very best!" He makes a determined little gesture, then smiles. "Thank you, Dr. Bidan. Leina was right, you really are great."
<Pose Tracker> Kamille Bidan has posed.
It was never officially broadcast just what happened to Kamille Bidan, ace pilot of the Zeta Gundam. He just disappeared from the public eye. Kamille's just fine with that.
"I do," Kamille confirms with a smile, a stronger, warmer one from him than Yuta has seen thus far. "And thank you," he adds as he stands and bows slightly. "For your hospitality, and for telling me more about Tsutsujidai than I expected to find just sniffing around. You keep listening to Leina, she has a good head on her shoulders."