2022-09-03: A World I Don't Recognize
- Log: 2022-09-03- A World I Don't Recognize
- Cast: Leina Ashta, Akane Shinjo's friend Ramo Marusa
- Where: Tsutsujidai - Pizza Parlor
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-09-03
- Summary: Leina and Marusan catch up after the DecuFes Kaiju Attack.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
09/03
>hey ramo sorry i left town so abruptly
>i had to help someone get back home
>can we meet up?
-=-=-
Leina doesn't pick the Foundation branch office, or the McDaniels - Akane knows about those locations, and even if she wants Akane around, she doesn't want her around for this. Instead she chooses a little local pizza parlor close to the train station.
The train station itself might be monitored, but she figures that local places near that? Whoever's watching could care less about that.
She's taken a booth near a back corner in the mid-afternoon it's a sleepy time of day for a place like this. Unlike last time, she isn't busying herself on a laptop, or listening to music, or doing anything on her phone. For someone so active, to see her just sitting tight is an unusual sight to say the least. She's dressed herself in a floral tie-neck blouse, faded jeans, and a pair of old flats.
She's ordered herself a drink. (Iced Tea) And she texted ahead and asked Ramo what kind of pizza she likes - getting that order started if she gave her the go ahead.
It's one of those moments where Leina just thinks to herself about her way of life. She manipulated Judau to becoming a pilot for the AEUG. She made a calculated decision when it came to Ramo that would do the greatest good for the most number of people. Both situations had negative consequences she didn't foresee. Both situations likely ended up with them in much better situations they were than before...
... but the negatives? In whatever accounting book she keeps in her head of debits and credits towards how she's influenced people. It still feels like she's responsible to some degree for the bad.
And she's just going to have to live with that.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
09/03
>It's okay. I know why you'd have to.
>Sure, let's meet up.
Ramo -- who has ordered a teriyaki chicken pizza -- arrives just a hair early, wearing a white T-shirt with a Pegasus-class assault carrier rendered in purple on it and a mid-length purple and white tartan skirt. (It's a much deeper purple than anything Akane wears.)
Getting herself settled in across from Leina, Marusan pushes her brown-black hair back a little bit and gives it a quick fluff out. (It is not actually very fluffy.) "Hey," she says, giving her a small smile. The bags under her eyes have returned a tiny bit. "Thanks for inviting me. And..."
She went over a version of this with Ako for a long time, a few nights ago. She didn't tell her about the kaiju -- the idea of getting her involved worries her -- but the skeleton of the issue -- 'what if someone tells you something about one of your friends you're not ready to hear' -- has been pretty well mined out.
... she's not quite ready to move on that conversation, though. Marusan has always been a guarded person, a bit. "What did you want to talk about?" she settles on, instead -- she allows Leina to take the initiative, at least for now.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
The Pegasus-class assault carrier on the shirt briefly startles her until she remembers this place is stuck in remembering the OYW as the last conflict this world has had. She ordered the teriyaki chicken pizza not too long ago, it's being worked on now.
Leina smiles at her, but she certainly notices the bags under her eyes - and the guarded nature of her intent. "Hey Ramo."
'What did you want to talk about?'
"Ah." Leina's eyes move to the side, her head tilting away a little. "... Sayla told me what happened." She clears her throat, "After." Pause, "Not anything you talked about. Just that."
She stops herself. Pauses. Leina lets out a heavy sigh as her posture slumps a little, then starts again, "... I'm sorry. You didn't ask to get involved in this. Or for what happened to you, to happen. It feels like I accidentally inflicted this on you without... your consent." Pause, "And your feelings were just collateral damage."
Her eyes lid, "I did want to say you did a great job. You and Ako. Thank you for - doing that. Maybe that's cold comfort... but you deserve all the praise in the world for what you did."
Another pause, as she straightens herself up, "I know this is all... heavy. Not the kind of thing you ordinarily want to get into. But it occured to me that maybe Sayla and me are the only ones you can... talk about it with now. If you don't - then we don't have to."
Another pause, "We can just carry on business as usual. Or if there's something you want to know, about what's going on, about here, about places outside of here - I'll do my best to answer. But I guess what I'm dancing around-"
She gives Ramo an apologetic look as soon as she says it, as she knows she's really into dance club, and dancing, "-is whether there's something you need right now, that I can give. Whatever it might be."
Lucine Azul has paged Akane Shinjo and Liam 7-020 with, ' Liam and I are set as one pair of Bujack participates, right? Ie, Liam's the one who will accept the dream, and Lucine is the one who will go 'WAIT WHAT
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Ramo feels a vague affinity for carriers that she cannot fully articulate. It's fine. Probably.
"Oh," she says, after a few moments. It's a pretty noncommittal response -- at least until Leina slumps a bit. Collecting herself, she asks, pretty directly: "What's the alternative? Not telling me would've led to a lot more people getting hurt." Or worse. "I don't even know if you're the reason I remember. For all I know it's because I slipped in the shower and hit my head a week or two ago."
Leina winds around to her ultimate point, and Ramo thinks a little about it. "... I guess," she reflects after a little bit of thought, "we can talk a little about it, yeah. I guess..." She thinks back a bit. Tries to find some mental 'in' on this situation. What she settles for, eventually:
"I want to know why she's so scared that this works on her. She's never really opened up about anything... I feel weird talking about her behind her back like this." She tries to think a little about what she means -- she knows that if anything she's the one with greater insight into Akane's psyche, but...
"I guess some of the people who come here now do talk about -- the war outside, and a lot of other things, but it doesn't feel... real. Like it's something happening on TV. I feel like I'm failing a history test I didn't know I had to study for." That much, at least, is true; even as Tsutsujidai has nondisruptively adjusted to account for being out of whatever space it was in before, there's still a certain... slidiness to the issues that plague the modern world, for its residents.
Liam 7-020 has paged Lucine Azul and Akane Shinjo with, 'Depending on what's happening he might be one of the later ones taken, but'
Liam 7-020 has paged Lucine Azul and Akane Shinjo with, 'That is dependent on what Triple Zero stuff is going on (fyi there's a yogurt brand called that and i go o_o at it when I see it)'
Lucine Azul has paged Liam 7-020 and Akane Shinjo with, ' :nods!'
Lucine Azul has paged Liam 7-020 and Akane Shinjo with, ' yeah, liam, what's it like knowing that humanity is a virus on existence and that your whole existence is meaningless and a fluke being manipulated by equally meaningless virusesesesesii'
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
What is the alternative?
She pauses, thinks about it for a while, "Figuring it out on my own I guess." Leina says of the alternative, "But you're smart, and discreet. It was your school, your classmates. You'd see things I wouldn't even think to look for, find angles of approach I wouldn't." A beat, "Telling you was the best decision I could have made."
As she slowly looks at her hands. "I don't know if it caused it or not. You were probably most of the way there already. If I did, it was just the final nudge."
It may be confusing why she thinks that. It's just... Ramo already felt more real to her than most of the people in town. Yet with all that in mind... she still feels bad?
'I want to know why she's so scared that this works on her.'
It's a question that Leina tends to dread. She can be fiery, politically. However, that's mostly with people who know the score, or are diametrically opposed to her. Not people who are ignorant. Where it feels like she's crushing innocence. However, Ramos is smart, and resilient.
And more importantly, it's what she thinks she needs.
"... Alright. I was born in a poor Colony on Side 1. Just before the One Year War." Her hands play on the outside of her iced tea. The pizza is finally dropped off, and she mouths a quick 'Thanks' to the owner of the parlor. However she doesn't dig in, "I was too young to remember any of that. It was hard on my parents? What looms larger in my mind..."
Leina gives Ramo this intense look, worried this will be a lot, but having no choice but to tell her. She owes her that much, "... I was eight. Colony 30 was on the same Side as ours. There were some protests against the Federation that got out of hand, became riots. And the Federation special forces unit at the time, the Titans? They turned off the Colony's air supply, then gassed it. They killed ten million people that day."
A pregnant pause, "There weren't any protests on my Colony after that."
She lets that just sink in, "The Titans were eventually defeated - and their actions disavowed by the Federation, even if they couldn't be bothered to condemn them before. Then Neo-Zeon rose up."
Leina's fingertips are causing small streaks upon the outside of her glass, "After the first few battles earthside... to broker peace the Federation decided to give them Side 3. It could have resulted in another war, just as awful as the One Year War."
Leina notes quietly, "This may be hard to believe, but they didn't care. Neo-Zeon dropped a Colony on Dublin after that agreement was signed... you know what I heard some of the Federation's top officials say?"
'Say' is a word doing a lot of heavy lifting. She read it from their hearts. "'A Colony Drop is great for us. Fewer mouths to feed.' ... It's because the status quo of the Federation, is war and violent revolution, Ramo. It's what the people at the top count on. They love it when groups like Neo-Zeon rise up - because they're convenient scapegoats to blame all their problems on. The elite only grasp for greater power. The rich to line their pockets. And they let everyone else be collateral damage."
She inhales after a moment, as it's painful for her too, "That's just a few conflicts. There's more. So many more. We'd be here all day talking about everything in my lifetime. The Red Comet sent Axis - an Asteroid Base towards Earth, trying to make it uninhabitable - force all survivors to space."
Her eyes slide to the side, "But, if I had to make an educated guess? Based on our recent conversation with Akane. The incident that sent Akane straight into the arms of her guardian? ... Junius 7. It's where Tsutsujidai appeared recently on Side 2."
She hates this. She hates what she's going to tell her next. "The dominant party in the Federation right now is the NIA - which, most politicians are a member of an organization called 'Blue Cosmos'. They're, racists, who advocate for a 'Blue and Pure Earth' - and they hate Coordinators."
She levels her green eyes on Ramo, "They forced policies upon the PLANTs. Production caps that wouldn't even let them feed their own people - and then made them export food. When the PLANTs tried to do something about it so their people wouldn't starve. 'Mysteriously'-" Leina just grinds this word out, "-the delegation the Federation sent died in a terrorist attack. In response, Britannia nuked Junius 7, killing everyone. The PLANTS? ZAFT? Coordinators? They've been at war for survival with the Federation ever since."
Leina's hand stops playing with her glass, as she folds them in front of her, "I guess, I can understand why she'd feel like fleeing from it all - is the best option." She adds quietly, "Maybe too well."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Marusan settles in to listen. She can tell this is something deeply important to Leina -- but she does comment on the original topic first. "I think you made the right one. I'd rather know than not..." ... is it fair that she's then not paying that forward to Ako by telling her? That's something that gnaws at her a bit -- a little more pointedly, even, than it did before.
She's no more 'awake' than any other person in the world -- but when Leina seems like she's struggling a bit, she leans in a little closer. It's not that she wants to pull back out of having asked -- but it does suggest to her that this really needs to be treated with some gravity.
... Not so much gravity that she can't eat, though. "Oooh, this is really tomato-forward," she murmurs. Akane would probably like this... if she were ever comfortable eating in front of other people. (Marusan's noticed that one for ages.)
Ten -- million? Ten million people, dead in -- an instant. Marusan's eyes widen, and she looks down at her pizza. ... her appetite, at least, is still there. "I mean -- I'd heard of that kind of thing happening in the Zentradi War," she says, "but I thought that things were supposed to be -- better now. Ten million... just -- for being spacenoids? For being mad at the Federation? That's like -- something out of the Middle Ages."
(Note that the 'Middle Ages' Marusan refers to are the 1700s-1900s. The future's a strange place!)
Something starts to click in Marusan's head, and she looks uneasy as she starts drawing the throughline of the facts. It only gets worse as she hears that the Federation considers mass death -- like Dublin, like 30 Bunch -- a net positive because it -- what, makes it easier to balance the budget? And they just... keep making it happen again, because --
Wait -- "'Recently'? How recently...?" she asks, though even if she gets clarification it's sort of academic. As far as she remembers, they've always been a non-ZAFT-signatory PLANT colony. If even that's a 'recent development,' that's... well! Honestly, it's less existentially challenging than it could be, but.
She takes another bite of pizza, listening to it. "Oh -- that's... the Bloody Valentine," she realizes, putting together a little data from the grant application she was reading when Sayla stepped in a few days ago. "Akane... did move here after Valentine's Day..."
Something starts to dawn on her a bit, though, the more she chews on it. "... Hold on," she says, before taking a bite of pizza. She needs to focus. Should she even voice that, though...?
"One of the things Ako and I talked about when we were having a sleepover at the office," Marusan starts, "is -- how easy it is to turn into the kind of person you hate, if you build everything you are around -- how much you hate them. For her, it's... she hates people who obsess over their first impressions of people, superficial stuff -- but I guess one of the guys in 2-D totally called her out on being that kind of person herself. It wasn't like she set out to be that way -- she just started obsessing over the impression she gave other people, and then... that... bled out into everything else." She takes a sip of her drink, then glances away.
After a little more thought, she finishes, "... I think -- Akane hates those kinds of people just as much as you do. I know she's kinda obsessed with making sure everyone in the class has lunch... she did it a lot when she was class rep. She still kind of does. And that's why... the PLANTs, Junius 7..."
... she trails off. Eventually, she settles for the most teenage answer of all:
"This sucks."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
It is comforting that Ramo would rather know than not. Something within Leina eases up subtly as she says that. Just offering a nod, but she certainly looks less tense, more relieved? It's validating to know that it was the best decision for Ramo too, after all
Leina hasn't grabbed a piece of pizza yet. This isn't the kind of conversation that would cause her to lose her appetite either, but she wants to give it that same gravity. "I wish it was." She says, "Better now." However, she could offer her so many examples of ways it isn't. And almost none of how it is.
"Last year-" 'Oh -- that's the Bloody Valentine.' Leina nods slowly, "I actually wore a shirt protesting Bloody Valentine here not long ago. Felt wrong, not to acknowledge it." It also served the purpose of helping pinpoint people who are like Ramo now, people who could understand there's an outside world.
'Akane... did move here after Valentine's Day...'
Something wells up in Leina's throat, and she just nods. She can't tell her. If Ramo asked her, she would - but the last thing she needs is an existential crisis right now. They can work up to that.
As she concludes all of that conversation about a history lesson. Ramo asks her to hold on, and Leina quiets down, finally grabbing a piece of pizza. Takes a bite herself, then sets it down on the little oval plate in front of her. It's pretty good actually.
When she starts speaking again, she gives her a look just as serious, focusing entirely on what she has to say. And what she has to say... and eventually she just, slowly nods twice. "Yeah. This sucks." She echoes her. "That's, a big part of why I want to help her. Remember how she focused on why the Yumi foundation even needed to be here? You could tell, she didn't really want us here. Like we were intruders. But I explained how we wanted to send relief aid to the PLANTs, help people here too and... she was okay with it."
A beat.
"The family she wanted us to help? It's almost certainly someone who lost someone to a Kaiju attack, and she feels bad about it. ... There's a good person in there, she's just been, hurt and manipulated so much by someone with power over her."
Leina looks down at her hands, "I'm someone who's been hurt too, a lot by the way things are out there Ramo. It would be far too easy to think I should just - run away from it all - or tear down the whole system, by any means necessary."
She sounds a bit haunted as she says that, "But I try not to focus most of all on the people who are in power, how much I hate them. I try to think about the people like Akane, who's been hurt by them. How I'd be making their lives collateral too if I did that." She closes her eyes, as if it's painful, "You know all those people our age who say they want to change the world? And how most of their classmates might think 'Get real' or 'Yeah right'. Well."
She raises a hand with a furtive little smile, as if to say 'Guilty'. "I'm one of them. Even knowing how impossible it is first hand. I have to try. And I want to do it without violence against the system being the answer."
She drops her hand, and starts making overtures back towards her pizza slice, "Because that doesn't fight their status quo. It upholds it. And makes people like Akane collateral too - just as easily as they do. I have to believe it can happen. That there's that potential, that possibility for meaningful change without playing on their terms."
Leina puts on a smile, though it's subdued, "And maybe the best step I can take towards that right now is putting in my own effort to save someone they've hurt this badly."
[OOC] Leina Ashta says, "*blu-ray It's almost certainly a home that lost someone to a Kaiju attack" Alexis Kerib has arrived. Alexis Kerib leaves for Side 2 - PLANT [ZFT]. <Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
A good person underneath it... Ramo wants to believe that, too. It hurts to learn this kind of thing about your friend -- anything that mitigates that feels like a lifeline right now. She takes another sip of her drink; she didn't realize how hungry she was. ... Or maybe that's her just being tired and trying to prop herself up with calories. Hard to say.
With a small smile, Marusan notes, "I can hear a lot of Miss Mass in that. I..." Seeing Leina is an interesting exercise for her -- seeing that same anger, but through a very different lens... her thoughts draw toward their city. "I'm a little jealous. Like -- you're not that much older than I am and you seem like you have this so much more figured out. ... I guess that's kinda not my fault, but still."
Marusan starts to stabilize a bit after all that. It's still a lot to take in, but -- having someone like Leina to work through it with is a lot easier. "Akane... really didn't want you guys here, though? I guess that makes sense, but still --" She chews on that. "I think -- if that's all true..." This is such a delicate situation. "I don't know how much longer that window is going to stay open. The day after she made that recommendation to you guys -- about the people who lost their kids in an accident, she said she didn't really care how that went one way or another."
She reaches down, twisting a few locks of her hair nervously. "... I don't get why her guardian would want to encourage that. Like -- I get that he's not human, but... I don't think that really matters either way? Like... why do this? Why encourage her to make kaiju? Does he hate the Federation too...?"
... Knowing more about that is dangerous. Marusan had that much impressed on her by Sayla. But knowing what she's being pushed toward might make it easier to be her friend, right?
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's smile remains subdued as Ramo says she's jealous, how she has things figured out, "Don't be. The way I figured things out isn't something I'd inflict on anyone." There's no explanation forthcoming... right now at least.
If Ramo's watching closely though, she might notice the way one of Leina's hands is thumbing a part of her blouse though, on the right side of her abdomen, like some phantom pain she's trying to relieve. It's almost like she doesn't even realize she's doing it. "And it's not. But, you'll get there. Sooner than you know would be my bet."
She slowly nods on Akane not really wanting them here... and how she reversed positions on that family, "She's growing more desperate. She's just seeing her place of safety more and more compromised by what's outside. And her Guardian? He's isolating her, making her believe he's the only one she can count on."
As Ramo works it out, why would Alexis encourage her to make Kaiju? Does he hate the Federation? "Would you believe her Guardian is attacking people in the outside world - trying to draw more attention to this place, and her?" Leina says after a moment, "Please don't tell anyone, but he sent a Kaiju to attack my ex-boyfriend. Just to make his family... upset."
Leina exhales, just looking weary, then shakes her head, "I don't think his motivation is the Federation. He's some kind of alien? Devil? Something. I don't know what motivates him - other than making Akane depend on him more and more. It's so painfully... abuser tactics, that it's hard to believe he's not human. So, I don't know, if I had to guess, based on the fact he's antagonizing everyone else just to corner her all the more? It's that there's something Akane can give him by being in this state, or Tsutsujidai can give him - with her being this way?"
Another shake of her head, "Sayla wouldn't tell me much about him, so it's really hard to speculate."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The gesture does register -- though it's also something Ramo doesn't quite understand the 'whys' of and doesn't feel like she knows Leina well enough to press on. They're colleagues, not intimate friends; maybe in time she'll ask about that pain that got Leina to this point.
Akane's Guardian -- sent a kaiju to attack people -- just to make her feel more cornered? "This is... more and more dangerous with everything you tell me." ... That doesn't change what she has to do, though. She has to be the kind of person who can catch Akane when she's ready to open up -- and not earlier. There are other people moving on other angles, here; she has to focus on hers. If she were to -- what, stride right up to Akane's door and demand to see this mysterious alien? -- she'd probably just...
... Marusan wonders if Akane's that far gone.
... it's a pointless worry. She comes back around. Another bite of pizza, instead. "Do you think... Akane's a Coordinator herself?" she asks, suddenly struck with curiosity. "I know we have Coordinators at school, and one guy in third year mentioned he'd been tested for Newtype potential... but it never seemed like a big deal, when, uh."
Here, she gestures pretty expansively with her pizza, before finishing, "Obviously it's a pretty big deal."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina just gives Ramo an apologetic look, but doesn't actually apologize verbally, as she knows Ramo asked for this - maybe it's what she needed. "Yeah."
'Do you think... Akane's a Coordinator herself?'
Leina furrows her brow in thought, thinking about this. Because... the way Akane felt psychically in her intent, that barrier - almost like a language barrier. "Maybe? If she was a Coordinator she'd have a lot less trouble in those heels." 'Tested for Newtype potential.' "Here it's not a big deal. Out there... admitting to being a Newtype is like, putting a mark on your head. To be snatched up, and taken to some secret lab somewhere." Leina cautions her a little more on the outside world.
The more, and more she thinks upon this though... "So. I'm going to tell you something that's going to be real shocking." Leina gives her a long look, as if trying to assess whether she's sure she wants to hear this, but, "Anti? Her 'little brother'? He's a Kaiju."
She lets this hang for a lengthy amount of time, "As far as I'm concerned - he's a person. I don't treat him any differently, and you shouldn't either. But... he is a Kaiju." Leina takes a moment to take a bite of her pizza, then sip her iced tea. Then she waits even longer. She can't tell Ramo that she's a Newtype. How off Akane feels psychically in her intent. How hard it is, bordering on impossible for her to connect to Kaiju, other than Anosillus, Nidaime... and Anti.
If she was human, a Newtype, a Coordinator... she should have been able to sense her better.
"I don't have any real evidence of this, but I think before, Akane was a person. And now..." Leina just, stops, to let that settle in.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Marusan looks down at her pizza. ... yeah, she's going to need the empty calories, if only because she's going to work them off crying tonight. (Not right now. She can hold it together, and indeed it's important that she does! ... But later.)
"He's a what," Marusan answers, instead, acting like Leina just said the sky was bright tyrian purple. She traces the implication, though. 'Coordinator,' 'Newtype' -- 'person.' 'Kaiju...'
... not.
"... I don't care about that," is what she eventually settles on. "I don't care if she's -- becoming a kaiju, or is a kaiju, or, whatever. I don't. She's Akane. She could be God and she'd still be Akane." That felt -- almost liberating, just to say.
... and it frees up enough mental energy for her to have a little more fun with it. "... plus, a 'Coordinator' would probably have a way better sense of style. You should have seen some of the notebook doodles she showed me when she was planning that outfit."
For a moment, she's a teenager again, as she murmurs, a little playfully, "Yyyyyikes."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's watching Marusan closely in these moments, before she says she doesn't care about that. If she's becoming a Kaiju, or is one. She's still Akane. And Leina actually smiles, "I agree. It doesn't change who she is."
However, as she playfully brings up Coordinators, and having a better sense of style, Leina actually giggles at her yikes, "Godddddd... I was trying to be supportive, and I meant what I said about... some parts of that combination being hot. But..."
There's a small shake of her head, "...I don't think there's any saving her ankles, or her ribs from this one. I think she's going for... Tokusatsu evil scientist? Honestly reminds me of some villains from the Magical Girl anime I watch at home."
She cants her head to the side, "Which reminds me... we should schedule that moving party. Before she changes her mind on that too. Though I have a plan..."
Leina actually looks, a bit sly? "... I'm inviting Rikka. If we can just get Akane to show up, I think she'll leap on the chance to have a normal hangout with her."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Right? What she landed on is okay, but like -- some of the steps she took to get there... whoof. Ridiculous." She feels a little bad bagging on Akane behind her back in this way -- but it is true that some of the designs she pitched were a little out there.
"... I mean, if she's trying to push you guys away, that checks," Marusan answers, on the topic of 'tokusatsu evil scientist.' "I hear she made a whole dramatic thing out of showing off her latest creation. She showed me and Ako, and then said she booked up a whole restaurant to show a lot of people..."
Marusan mentally traces that back. Ah -- that's probably how everyone else found out about the attack. Makes sense.
At the mention of inviting Rikka... "What's even up with those two, anyway? Akane gets weirdly guarded every time she comes up. They were really close at the start of the year, too, but then she started hanging out with me and Ako more instead... Maybe I'm just imagining it?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"I'm afraid to ask..." Leina winces, though she's no fashion snob. It's just she can imagine the cringe of her earlier attempts.
"Yeah I figure she's... trying to convince herself, more than us, that this is who she is now." Before... "Is that how it happened? Geez... I heard about the attack happening second hand, just didn't realize she put on a show." Leina rubs her face...
However, Ramo asks an important question. A real important question. And Leina has to take a moment to consider this. She can't break Rikka's confidence. She just can't. However... there's a way to work this without breaking her confidence at all.
Eventually Leina looks towards the door just to make sure noone's coming in, then leans in and says, "The way she looked when she was talking about Rikka?" Leina just has this big smile on her face, "I think Akane has a huge crush on her."
Technically, it wasn't just the look on her face, what feelings got through were just, overwhelmingly positive.
"As for why she's not hanging out with her as much. So, I think, with all she's doing though - she feels like she's not... worthy of her or something? Like she just feels like they can't be together because she's a bad person and Rikka just deserves better."
It's more complicated than that and she knows it, but she's trying to put the most truth possible in the statement, even if she has to omit some things. "But she wants to be around her so badly, it hurts."
[OOC] Leina Ashta says, "*blu-ray work this without giving away Rikka's secrets at all." <Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"There was this skintight kaiju outfit -- and then, like, ominous purple trenchcoat and gloves kind of deal? Like she'd be teleporting around with a gun or something." It's so ridiculous that even recontextualized the idea of it is absurd. "She figured that one would make her melt in the heat. ... and make the coat melt in the heat if it wasn't real leather."
A crush? That's -- actually new to Marusan, who is, for all her observational skills, kind of romantically oblivious. "... Wow, I mean -- I should have gotten that but... wow. Those two..." It takes her some time to turn it over in her head, simply because... even if they're classmates, she's never really thought of the situation that way.
"... hm. Yeah, it kind of works... or at least, it could. And if it doesn't work out... well, I mean, it's not the end of the world, right?"
... right?
"But... well, let's see. If that's true, we need to plan the move-in day a little more. I'm weighing whether she'd feel put out hearing someone else started dating or she'd get bolder herself..." ... She realizes that's an implicit confession that she's seeing someone, now, and turns a little bit pink.
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Leina's mouth is a bit agape as Ramo lays out one option after the next that Akane could have chosen. She has to kind of, force her mouth to close by the time she's finished, "Okay yeah, I'm glad she landed on what she did. Just imagining what Sayla would say if she saw her in any of that."
Leina repeats in wonder, "Ominous purple trenchcoat..."
The conversation then turns to Akane's crush though and - she's not actually shocked that Ramo is oblivious. Her life had been busy, too busy. And most teenagers are kinda bad at spotting that. Plus... well...
... Leina has an incredible advantage over most people. Sometimes she actually wonders how good she'd be at reading people if she'd never awakened as a Newtype.
"Yep. She probably would have been, real casual before in class - I imagine at first it was her wondering whether Rikka is into girls or not. Then even if she was, worried she'd ruin their friendship and make things awkward if she found out."
... ... ... Look Leina's helped some girls at her school get together, so she knows how this can be. And she can be attracted to girls, even if she mostly leans towards guys.
Would it be the end of the world though?
... there's a long moment of silence as Leina registers what Ramo just said, and how pink she just turned. And then there's a broad smile, "Congratulations. You don't have to say more if you don't want to." Leina actually winks at her in solidarity, "I just asked someone out myself, not long ago."
She folds her hands in consideration, "I don't think it could hurt? I probably shouldn't mention I'm dating someone new too though. Right now the guest list is pretty small, and if most of us are paired up, she might feel extra left out and isolated? But if it's a small handful...? That might get her thinking about it in the way we want."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The image of Akane Shinjo, Albert Wesker Cosplayer gets one last little laugh -- Marusan really shouldn't laugh, it's dreadfully serious at this point -- and she moves on.
"... Honestly we've kind of already been dating for eight months. We just weren't really admitting it. It's --" Rubbing at the back of her head awkwardly, Marusan says, "A -- anyway! Right, yeah. We don't want them to feel like they're behind -- just... get them thinking about it." This is a bit of a weird strategy, but even so...
"... So tell me about your new mystery partner," she says, feeling like she's tapped into some rich, interesting, exciting vein of gossip -- or at least a new window in on Leina. Part of her is still sorting through what she knows about Akane and Rikka to try to find some interesting insights, but it's actually better for her to just -- enjoy the moment, and enjoy getting to know someone new.
"Thank you for the pizza, by the way," she says, remembering to take another bite. "I didn't even know this place was here... I guess there's a lot to explore even in a city like this, huh?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"Wow." Leina says to the idea of them already dating eight months, but weren't really admitting it. It doesn't sound like she's being negative about it, "I get it. It's tough sometimes to just acknowledge that kind of thing aloud." There's just this earnest smile, "I'm just happy you two got there. You know?"
She could pry further, she WANTS to know more about Ramo, but she's fresh off Rikka being a little weirded out about her asking if she's into anyone after she discussed Banagher.
Though maybe she shouldn't have worried because Ramo instantly asked! Leina puts her elbow on the table, and a hand on a cheek, and she's just smiling, "So he's a mobile suit pilot. And a really nice guy, kind of caught in the middle of a bad situation that's not his fault? I shouldn't say too much about that, as its all political - and dangerous. Sayla would kill me if I was that casual about it."
So instead she thinks about what to talk about there...
"So, I just met him recently, but we hit it off so well right away? Like - instant connection. He helped me out with finding someone I'd been searching for for eight years with no leads. But he's just so earnest, and idealistic." There's a small laugh, "And honestly, a bit naive too, but in an endearing way. I almost feel bad talking about anything political around him."
There's a pause...
"But he's the kind of person who listens to everything I say, and takes it all to heart. And has just interest in all the things I like, and want to do. And it never feels like he's doing it just because he wants to get physical."
There's a small shake of her head, "Sayla doesn't really like him much. She's scared we're going too far too fast, and... what he's caught up in, she's worried I'll get put in a dangerous situation. And hey, I get it but..." Pause, "Right now at least, he makes me happy. Even if we don't last as a couple - I'd still want to be friends with him."
It takes her a moment to come down from that before she takes another bite of the pizza herself, and smiles, "Honestly? I picked the place as I felt it was unlikely Akane would just, wander in. The train station was how we used to make it here, from Japan. But, now it doesn't work - so didn't think there'd be many eyes on this area, except maybe the station itself, if something started working again."
A beat pause, "I found the place while doing my morning run. Got a lot of exploration in just choosing a different part of the city every morning - before things get crowded."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Ahahaha... yeah, it's -- I should have admitted it to myself when we took the whole class to the mountains, but I just couldn't make myself." She smiles at that memory; even if she knows bits and pieces of it aren't what really happened... so much of what she felt about Ako got clearer to her that day. That much endured -- and that's what matters.
When Leina mentions she's dating someone caught in the middle of a bad situation that isn't his fault... "... Jeez, it's really going around," she says, smiling. "I can't say I'd want that kind of thing for me, but... he sounds like a really great person and I hope it works out. I dunno if 'works out' means you'll keep dating or not, but it sounds like you're comfortable with whatever happens." This also gives her a... slightly worrying window in on Sayla, but she kicks that aside for now.
Sip. "I wouldn't have ever thought of that before," she says, about the morning run. "I just kept going through the same loop every day -- school, my old job, home. I've been able to branch out a little more since Miss Mass hired me, though. Maybe I should try getting out more."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"I get it. It's hard. Especially if they're your first love. The stakes feel so high? Like your whole world depends on it. It's really nothing to be ashamed about, how long it took for you to get it out." She grins, "If you don't mind telling me some more about them, I'd love to hear. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."
'Jeez it's really going around,' "Afraid so." Leina says sheepishly, "And yeah. He's at least what I want right now in my life I guess. ... Thanks Ramo. I hope it does too."
Though on the last topic, Leina lets out a small hum and... "Would you be interested in travelling more? Seeing the outside world?" Leina asks Ramo with a certain curiosity, "We can help with that. I travel all the time for my work with the foundation. It might at least help you get a wider perspective about things. That life experience you want."
She makes a small gesture with her mostly eaten pizza slice, it's like 50% crust by volume now. "I realize you wouldn't want to right now... with Akane, and you taking the next step in your relationship with someone. But something to think about in the future. And until then, there's ways we could help expose you to the outside too."
There's a pause and she cants her head to the side, "You know what. It occurs to me this place hasn't had any new dance media in a... while now. Could start with that? I've got a whole list of musicals I could send your way."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Ahahaha... yeah. Everything feels bigger right now, huh." That's reassuring, in its way -- that the stakes always feel highest with your first love. (Of course they do. One thing out of one going wrong is so much bigger than -- well, any other number, by definition.)
"Yeah -- I don't know about right now, but I'd love to travel. Some girls in my class were talking about using the Deculture Festival as an excuse to go see Earth Fumo-Fumo Land, or Bottom World... Ako wants Waterpolis, though. ... I think I'd rather go with her, too." That brings a big smile to her face. "But that's not -- we don't have to explore all the same places. Maybe it's even better if we don't. So... yeah, I wouldn't mind that, once things quiet down a little."
Dance media... that has her attention. "Ooh! Now there's something that'd make my week," she says -- it's almost an uncharacteristic amount of enthusiasm, given the heavy topics from earlier. "I would love to see some new choreography. It's good timing, too, since we're kind of looking for a new routine..."
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
Ako huh?
Leina had a sneaking suspicion it was her, given how much Ramo had mentioned her before, but she didn't want to assume. "Waterpolis - just the two of you sounds like an amazing date." Leina just has such an earnest smile, she's just the biggest shipper, she loves it when people find love. She has a whole list of locations she could suggest, but... she's decided not yet. Let them see what's out there.
"Alright. Once things quiet down. Just let me know."
Ramo's sudden enthusiasm towards Dance though is infectious, "I'll send them to your e-mail. Whole bunch of files on my datapad right now. Maybe you've guessed by some of my cat pictures."
Leina winks at her, "But I'm kind of a theater kid. So I love musicals, and their choreography. Even if I'm not much of a dancer. I mostly act in just traditional plays."
Other than a school dance with Shiro once... she hasn't danced since Glemy forced her to learn in Axis. Which... disincentivized her to continue learning.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Something to look forward to! And a reason to work hard for Miss Mass, too. Even if it isn't obvious to her how helping Sayla will lead to a good resolution on this for Akane, exactly, Marusan trusted her -- Sayla did the legwork to help her when she was struggling, after all. If she can give her the space to help Akane in the same way, that's...
It's definitely enough.
"I had a hunch," Marusan says, grinning. "Plays are fun -- musicals are really fun. I think there's something about the logic of that kind of thing that just... it's kind of appealing? It's fun to imagine. A world where if your feelings are too big to say, instead of sitting on them -- you sing them." The tension lets out of her shoulders all the way, and she takes another bite of pizza. (She is definitely a crust eater.)
Acting, though... "Any favorite performances you've been in?"
<Pose Tracker> Leina Ashta has posed.
"Yeah, I feel the same way. And you know, the magic of the stage is that singing those feelings out can be like, a monologue. None of the other characters need to hear it. It's all private, and contained but also... open and honest?"
(Leina also is a crust eater)
"Viola in Twelfth Night, when my school was on a Shakespeare kick. It was pretty fun, as she spends most of the play pretending to be a guy. And it's just this mixed up romantic comedy that's one big identity crisis."
She actually laughs lightly, "It's pre-Middle Ages even in how old it is, but that's interesting in and of itself. Putting yourself in the head of someone from... just shy of a thousand years ago. Nowadays crossdressing isn't that big of a deal, we're even having a GUTS event about it - but back then?"
She shakes her head, "Dangerous. Scandalous. Really makes you think about how many people back then expressed themselves in the theater in ways - they couldn't otherwise."
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Yeah -- that really makes sense," Marusan agrees, as she listens along. "I can't imagine something that old resonating... but I guess people are the same no matter where and when they are, in a lot of ways. It's like -- that's how dance works, too, right? The steps are still steps, no matter how old they are..." Her lips turn up in a small smile at that.
Now that they're pretty confirmably 'in small talk mode,' Marusan stays animated, even though she's clearly still a little tired. At first she'd been a little worried about getting comfortable with Leina outside a group setting, but... this is nice. When it comes time to part, she does so with a smile -- and the confidence that, even if she can't directly face what's happening with Akane, she'll be happier and safer someday. It's important for her to do her own part -- even if that's just helping provide a space for her to connect with people besides her guardian.