2022-08-04: Unfair
- Log: 2022-08-04- Unfair
- Cast: Akane Shinjo, Rikka Takarada
- Where: Tsutsujidai - A Bus For Two
- OOC - IC Date: 0096-08-04
- Summary: It's too hot, so Akane and Rikka catch the bus and catch up.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Tsutsujidai has gotten no cooler now that it exists in the same world, openly, as everything else. If anything, it might be a little warmer. Despite not having any particularly... lethal reactions to the heat (now quite demonstrated!), Akane still finds it oppressive enough that today is a big no... but she wants to get coffee and doesn't have any at home, which means leaving the house.
The moment finds her waiting at the bus stop closest to her house, thus. She's still in her new outfit, which only emphasizes the discomfort; she picked the coat for toughness over breathability. The corset is also still forcing her terrible posture bolt-straight, which isn't strictly relevant to the heat, but it's still...
... well, the situation isn't really about Akane's comfort anyway, anymore.
She fumbles in her bag, looking for her bus pass. "Nnghgh... where is it," she mumbles to herself.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
A part of Rikka had hoped that Tsutsujidai's new situation would at least come with it a lower temperature, now that they're no longer bound to Earth's seasons. But... no. Quite frankly that, combined with everything that's happened lately, makes Rikka really just want to stay home, sprawl on her bed, and listen to music all day.
And that was the plan, originally, but after lying there for a little while she started feeling restless again. She needed to get up - to do something, anything, and so reluctantly she left the cool safety of the junk shop to catch a ride into the city.
The funny thing about the bus stop closest to Akane's house is that it's the stop closest to Rikka's, too - so when she approaches the bus stop, she's greeted by the sight of Akane looking for something.
Rikka's a little surprised to see her still in her new outfit - a part of her had thought it had just been intended for them, as an indication of the change in their relationship, but it looks like she's still trying to portray herself as the villain, even now...
A lot of things come immediately to mind. Questions, things she ought to say and get clarified, even the idea of just turning around and heading right back to the junk shop before Akane sees her... and, most significantly, the memory of those bright, pleading eyes, that she just can't get out of her head.
But instead, what she starts with is...
"Hey, Akane... are you looking for something?" Rikka asks, taking a step closer. ...It feels so awkward, addressing her so casually the day after she declared war against all of them.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
Rikka approaching her... not like it's normal -- Akane's no dummy, she can hear the hesitation in her voice -- but like there's at least the illusion of normalcy actually kind of stings. It's a reminder of something she wanted -- badly -- and...
... well. Can she have it? What is it she even wanted?
Now is as good an opportunity as any to find out. "Just my bus pass," Akane answers, with a small shrug. "I guess we'll both be riding today! ... At least the bus has air conditioning." Small talk -- a kind she's greedy for. "It's pretty easy for stuff to get shifted to the bottom when it's that small and thin... they should really make these things bulkier. -- oh, here it is."
"This is perfect, though... I was kind of hoping we'd get a chance to talk, but dinner kinda didn't work out, huh?" She leaves aside the question of why it didn't work out.
At least she found the bus pass -- and just in time, too; the bus pulls up, and Akane starts heading onto it.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Rikka thinks about that. A bus pass... Come to think of it, hadn't Akane had a similar problem with that before...? Rikka takes note of that for later.
"Yeah, looks like it..." She agrees, and then nods. "Yeah, thank goodness. I'm pretty sure I'd just, die, if I had to take a hot bus in this kind of weather."
As for the bus passes, and their tendency to get lost...
"Right?" She agrees... and then goes quiet. So, Akane had been hoping they'd get a chance to talk, too... "...Yeah, me too."
She, too, doesn't bring up that question. Instead, the bus pulls up, so Rikka follows Akane inside. She rummages for her own bus pass... and pauses for a second, before scanning it.
If she does this, she'll be putting herself into a pretty committed position in regards to seeing it through - whether or not it goes well. It feels a little like sealing her own fate...
But in the end, she still scans it, and moves to take her seat.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Ahaha, right...? It's seriously too hot for this." Akane pushes her bangs up and to the side a bit... though she isn't sweating. She gets situated on the bus. Behind Rikka, of course -- next to her feels... too intimate right now. Something about the situation makes her feel like... she can't.
They're alone, now; it's a sleepy Thursday with no school, and it's not high-traffic hours or anything. "So now you know everything!" she says, brightly. "Well, maybe not everything, but we're on pret-ty close to equal footing here now~."
She pauses, then pivots. "I was lying when I acted like I only started remembering after Tonkawa and the others." She delivers a pretty spot-on re-approach of, "'...Volleyball club? Our school doesn't have a volleyball club.' I'm not even sure Hibiki ever fell for it... but you did~."
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
"Seriously." Rikka agrees. Taking a seat. Akane takes the seat right behind her. And thus, the two of them are alone - nothing around but sound of the bus's engine and the wheels against the road.
"...Yeah. I do." Rikka confirms, as Akane points out what she knows. It's true - she doesn't know everything. There's still a lot she can't wrap her head around... And a lot that she thought she knew.
Akane changes the subject - to something Rikka knew in her heart, but hadn't been thinking about. Akane had been playing them... and like she said, she fell for it. Her face reddens and she lowers her head a little, as Akane repeats that familiar phrase and points it out.
Tonkawa and the others... Rikka is quiet for a moment, and then...
"Why did you kill them?" She asks.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"It wasn't me," Akane says, though it's... hard to feel like there's much sincerity in it. "It was my kaiju." She knows what's really being asked, either way, though. "Kaiju are what make this city keep going... they're something only I can do. Sometimes things just need to be fixed."
Since she isn't exactly sure what Rikka knows or doesn't, but isn't in the mood to dance around things anymore, she notes: "It was the special dog. I was just trying to treat Hibiki, and those girls had to smoosh it."
Glancing out the window for just a second as the scenery flies past, Akane asks: "Does it even matter? Did you even get along with them...? Class is a lot easier without people like that in it." ... it's certainly been quieter.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Akane says it wasn't her... but, Rikka isn't entirely convinced. And so, she decides to press on that a little.
"So you're fine with what you've been causing...?" Rikka asks. ...And, things getting fixed... She frowns.
Akane explains why, then. The special dog... Honestly, Rikka barely even remembers that. She really has to think back - back to after Yuta had collapsed.
"Seriously...? They had to go because of that...?" Rikka asks, sounding shocked. ...She should be more upset, really. But she isn't.
Akane asks her if she even got along with them... and, it may be telling that she has to think about it for a moment.
"I wouldn't say that I didn't get along with them..." Rikka admits. "...But that's not the point."
She shakes her head.
"'Easier'... To me, it just feels... emptier." She replies.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"It's not a question of if I'm fine with it or not," Akane answers; she's gotten this kind of question a lot, recently -- she's had a little more time to think about it, and doesn't mind talking about it. Besides... they're alone. If there's anyone in this world that Akane wanted -- anyone who she could always tell the truth...
And speaking of which... "If you have to stretch it that far, it's pretty much the same thing either way." Rikka points out that it feels emptier, and Akane has to concede, "... that's true. It's not like there are new people." Even if she collapsed six classes down to five... the school really is emptier -- by a decent amount, at this point -- than when she moved here.
Her thoughts hitch on that for a moment. Why would it be that way...? Her kaiju can just make more people... why do desks go missing? Why aren't the old students replaced? ... She thinks of a garbage heap in her room, again.
"If you're so unhappy with how empty it's getting, though, that's pretty fixable. Even with what your little buddy said... that isn't true now that things are out in this world. This place would move on." The wistful smile on her lips widens a bit. "If you would just kill me, that would settle everything. It's not like it would make you a bad person, even~. Sayla was ready for it with Renais, if Alexis hadn't cleaned up my mess, and she's definitely a hero."
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
"Then why?" Rikka asks. If it isn't a question of whether or not she's fine with it... then why does this have to keep happening? Why do they have to fight each other?
Akane says that if she has to stretch it that far, in regards to how she feels about the volleyball team, it's pretty much the same thing.
"...It's not the same." Rikka replies. Emptying classes, but no new people... How long will the classes continue to dwindle? Until it's just the four of them? Or until...
...She doesn't want to think about that any further.
Thankfully, Akane continues... but, Rikka isn't sure this line of conversation is any better. She has a feeling she knows where she's going with it. Rikka's hands clench, bunching up the fabric of her skirt as she braces herself.
If she killed her, it'd settle everything. And Akane drives the stake even deeper, by reminding her of the time they fought Renais. There's a sharp intake of breath.
...It's true. Sayla would have done it - and she knew that, and she still passed the controls over to her. What would she have done, if Sayla had been forced to fire...? Would she have been able to handle it?
"...That wouldn't settle anything." Rikka murmurs. "...I couldn't... do that."
Maybe she isn't cut out to be a hero like Sayla is... but that's the one thing she could never do.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
"Mmhm. I think I knew that. That's what I told Sayla, too," Akane says, blandly. "I thought it might be different if I asked." ... Why?
She's getting to that.
"I said you were a hero, but I think 'good girl' might be better. There's no one else quite like you in my world or this one," Akane says, and for a moment, she sounds... a little closer to happy. "If you aren't going to leave, and you aren't going to kill me... you and I should get closer and closer instead. That's the reason you exist."
She stands up, and for a moment, it looks like she might move to sit next to Rikka after all... but instead, she hugs her from behind. (It's an awkward motion, in her outfit, too; she can't slouch very well, so she has to get a little extra height by getting on her tiptoes.)
"It sounded like Utsumi already knew, so I guess you probably have some idea too. Everyone here just goes along with what I set up. I wanted a school where I'd be happy, so there was a school. I wanted friends who would accept who I am, so I have friends. Everyone has no choice but to love everything about me." Her hand comes to rest at Rikka's collarbone. The curve of Akane's thumb runs in perfect parallel with it.
Was that, too, Akane's design?
"I made sure you were set up to be that way," she continues, breath warm at Rikka's cheek. Afternoon begins its transition to evening, painting the sky the color of an angry sun -- an artificial sunset that offers no relief from the heat.
The bus passes one street down from one of the maintenance kaiju; it stands still, as always. The fixer of a fixed world.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
A 'good girl'... Akane actually sounds a little happier about that. And then, she says it - the thought that Rikka had been avoiding, and everything comes crashing down around her.
"That's the reason I..." She starts to repeat... but she is shocked, suddenly, as Akane stands and wraps her arms around her from behind. Rikka's breath becomes hitched, as if it had been stolen right from her lungs, her eyes opening wide.
It's true - Utsumi had said, if he barely has any friends, it's because Akane made him that way. Then, the same must be true of her. How much of what she is is only because that's the way Akane wanted it? Her home, so close to Akane's, her friends at school, her personality...
...Her feelings...
She feels Akane's breath on her cheek, so close, so very close, and her eyes track toward her. ...And then, after a moment, her gaze falls, before finding the maintenance kaiju that passes by outside.
What difference is there, between her and that kaiju...?
She wants to say something - anything - to assert her individuality, that she's her own person, the same way that others had tried to assure her that they saw her, and Yuta, and Utsumi, as real... but she can't. In this moment, words fail her.
"I was... born this way, already...?" She murmurs.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
This... really is unfair, Akane thinks to herself. She's been telling Rikka to leave -- insisting, practically demanding it, with...
... okay, not every tool in her toolbox. There are cruelties even Akane can't bring herself to leverage, here. Things that turn her stomach at the mere thought.
Still -- demanding someone leave when they can't... this, too, is an unfair relationship.
"Yep," Akane murmurs into Rikka's ear. Her head tilts -- almost lolls, really -- into Rikka's, those long, dark locks intermingling with Akane's own lilac shades. "You were made already as my friend, when you were made by my kaiju." Her hold on Rikka tightens, fingers winding into fabric, not quite digging.
She lets those words stand on their own, and they're... a miserable sort of comfort. Something this unfair stands as an affirmation that -- in the end -- the people who insist she's easy to see as some sad, exploited kid are wrong. No one seeing this would see another victim of the Universal Century's cruelties.
... at least, not sitting in the second seat from the back of the bus.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
Akane confirms it for her, her hold tightening. From the very beginning, Rikka had been made to be her friend.
"That's... I..." She starts. The words don't come out. Her head tilts forward, her hair concealing her face. It's... too much. Too much for her. Weakly she raises a hand sightlessly scrambling for, and missing a couple of times before she manages to make contact, the 'request stop' button.
She went into this hoping to learn more, and to maybe persuade Akane, but... she learned much more than she hoped - even if was something she already knew, but tried to ignore.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
The stop button is pressed. They're not far from a stop, either.
Akane continues to hold Rikka there, noticing the movement but not bothering to remark on it. What could she say? What possible thing would make this better? What possible thing would make this worse in a way that Akane herself was capable of?
The bus comes to a stop. Akane glances off. The whole world feels like it's ground to a halt. Akane waits for whatever comes next.
<Pose Tracker> Rikka Takarada has posed.
The bus comes to a stop. Rikka stands, to extract herself from Akane's grip - but carefully. Even after this, all of this, she doesn't have it in herself to hurt her. She steps away from her seat, and pauses for a moment, mouth opening wordlessly. There's so much she could say... but she can't. So instead...
"...Thanks. For talking with me." It sounds a little hollow as she says it - as she moves to get out of the bus without looking back.
<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.
<poem> The words startle Akane out of that empty look for just a moment. "... yeah. We'll see if it's the last time," she says, expressionlessly, as she slumps back into her seat. She has to hinge her whole upper body forward to slump against the seat in front of her, but she does it.
She watches Rikka go, remaining slumped.
Only once Rikka leaves the bus does Akane say anything. "... huh," she says, as the bus continues on its way. "She left." She wants it to be a relief -- to know that Rikka can leave. But... if she can...
... why won't she...?