2022-05-02: Fight, Not Flight
- Log: 2022-5-2 - Fight, Not Flight
- Cast: Sousuke Sagara, Kaname Chidori
- Where: Nouvelle Tokyo
- OOC - IC Date: May 2, 0096
- Summary: In the wake of Behemoth's rampage, Kaname decides she's going to help Sousuke whether he likes it or not.
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
It's been over a week since the Behemoth attack. School was out for a day, allowing for authorities to check the school for any damage or signs of anything suspicious, owing to the fighting that occurred in Nouvelle as well as Nagoya. Considering Sousuke was on that team, of course, the odds of anything problematic was low. He knows how to dispose of anything that might be unsightly. He is, after all, the trash monitor.
It's been days since then, though. The attack was briefly the talk of the school, but it's Nouvelle Tokyo; Mightgaine is dropkicking bank robbing rats in Tokyo three days out of five. It doesn't stick. Sousuke, though, hasn't been as in and out as usual, and hasn't been causing much of his usual...Problems, either.
And so, as another school day ends, Sousuke Sagara joins Kaname Chidori at the gate.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname's been a bit quiet in the days since Behemoth. In some ways, it's a godsend for Sousuke--his antics have earned him fewer harisen bruises in the last week than he normally gets in two days. As usual, of course, she insists everything's fine. Her friends don't seem to agree, of course, and if Sousuke were perceptive in any of the right ways, he'd have spotted it: Everything is not fine.
Kaname meets Sousuke at the gate alone today--she waves goodbye to Mizuki and Kyoko at the front door, and stops next to Sousuke... holding a small wireless microphone in her hand. "Sousuke, what'd I tell you about bugging the teacher's lounge?"
There's no harisen in sight. Just a look of annoyed disappointment...
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
There is a discomfort in him. A feeling like how he knows there is danger on the battlefield, a thousand subtle physical cues merging into a single, bright warning in his mind. Those, he can name easily. How he knows that Kaname Chidori isn't quite on her game...he could not explain.
Still, Kaname approaching with a small device usually spells a whack or two, so he looks at her with some curiosity as she approaches. His eyes cut to her face, then back to the microphone. "Ah. They have found the decoy. Excellent," he says. "Considering recent events, it seemed prudent to monitor official communications for a while. Even the lowest level of governance becomes paranoid at times like these."
You can't go that way.
You can't go that way.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname makes a vague grunt of displeasure, looking at him under flattened brows, and shakes her head with a sigh. "*I* found this while I was talking to Ms. Kagurazaka today." Her eyebrow twitches, just slightly. "Get 'em out of there by tomorrow. Now let's go."
She pivots, hair swinging out behind her like a soft, blue pendulum, and she steps out onto the sidewalk, expecting Sousuke to follow. She's quiet for a good five or six minutes, as the sounds of far-off trains mingle with afternoon birdsong.
Eventually, she quietly asks, "How the hell can you just go back to normal after something like that?"
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
"I see," Sousuke says. As usual he shows no remorse; this is, after all, obvious to him. For some reason. Still: "Not a problem," he says.
Something wrong. His intuition. It's not like he'd emerged from a stone, he'd had men tell him about such things. He had always understood it to be the brain's ability to calculate data it couldn't necessarily individually identify. Sometimes it was instinctual, which of course needed to be guarded against and suppressed - though, it seemed like some of the most dangerous men he'd ever met had instead leapt down into that pit of beasthood.
...not the point. Something didn't feel right as he stepped into line behind Kaname. He finds himself checking behind himself, expecting an attacker to emerge, a hidden camera, a quiet tail. Nothing emerges.
He's halfway up a mental tree justifying charging after the old lady across the street when Kaname speaks again, and he looks up at her.
NOW his expression changes, a momentary comprehension. But it's gone quickly as his expression recovers to the intense neutral it carries when he's lost in thoughts, or, also just at most other times, really. "I told you before that I am a specialist," he says, not naming Khanka out loud. "Any battle can be desperate. Whenever weapons are drawn and battle begins, a soldier's life is on the line."
He stops speaking, eyes turning aside briefly. "And I have been on many fields where the enemy seemed invincible," he says, thinking of the old days of preparing rudimentary traps for Wanzers in the Helmajistan mountains.
"Thus, the details of the enemy's capabilities aside, much of that scenario was a return to normal, for me."
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
"Not that." Kaname swings her bag around to her back, holding it behind her head and looking up, blind to the potential threats Sousuke sees everywhere. A wisp of cloud slowly stretches out, pulled thin by the wind.
"That Takuma kid died. I keep thinking--" She stops, and backtracks. "He was an asshole and I'm pretty sure he was trying to bite my nose off in the apartment, but... it still hurts. Like I didn't do enough to stop things from getting to where they did."
She stops, eyes casting downward. "But you showed up to school afterward like it was a normal day. Is it just... a soldier thing? Is it the same for Kurz and Mao?"
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
Oh. That.
Having something to talk about does stop Sousuke from trying to convince himself the power lines are an enemy agent, at least. He keeps in step with her - easy, automatic. He's used to her pace by now.
He slows as she does, too. He thinks of all the people he'd broken bread with and then later found himself shooting at. Bloodshed invisible behind those silent gray eyes.
"Perhaps it is," he says, in answer to her question. "Once diplomacy has broken down - once battle has begun and your life is in danger - then defeating the enemy and surviving is the only option remaining. The enemy dying is, at that point...inherent."
His eyes drift slightly down, finding a crack in the sidewalk. It seems obvious to him. Lately that means he's said something that will make Kaname mad. But...
But that's just the way the world works, isn't it?
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Death is a fact of life.
She knows that. Better than she should at her age, even absent the world she's been dragged into. But... why doesn't that make it any easier?
The gulf between understanding and knowledge seems insurmountably vast at times like this... "I want to help you, Sousuke. That's why I was out there the other night, because I knew there was *something* I could do..." She cracks a grin, and almost laughs as she continues, "Even if it was just yelling at you about how to use the LD."
She catches herself, blushing, and reverts to a forced neutral state, with the slightest bit of a scowl. "A-anyway. You've saved my life, so I'm just trying to repay the favor. But it's..."
She trails off. She doesn't know if she's ready. She's pretty sure it's a bad idea. Whatever this thing in her head is, it's important, and putting herself close to the danger is the opposite of Sousuke's mission. But, even so... she's not going to stay away.
She starts walking again. "... I guess I don't know what to do right now. I can't just do nothing, but... I don't know if I can handle more of this, either."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
'I want to help you,' she says, and he stops short, briefly, something unfamiliar in his stomach. He finds himself not quite certain how to reply. She was in a battle zone. Bullets flying - missiles! Still...her help was critical, too. It takes him a few moments to work his way around to, "It did help. The Lambda Driver is...a device I have difficulty with. Still, it is possible to provide support from a more secure location than a speeding vehicle."
That would be a joke in anyone else's mouth.
Each lost in their own heads, maybe neither notices as Sousuke's gaze grows more uncertain, something gnawing at him.
She starts walking, and he...takes a few seconds, to begin himself. "Keeping that danger out of your life is my mission," he says, maybe as much to himself as Kaname - and worded rather specifically.
A few seconds pass, before he finally says something that had been spinning through the deep, deep labyrinth his thoughts disappear into sometimes. "It was...difficult. Deciding what to do with you, and the Captain, and an ongoing mission all in play. I--"
...he trails off, no rest of the sentence coming to him.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname sighs. "What, did you want me to ride backseat in one of your friends' Mobile Suits?" she asks, eyebrow raised.
"Look. That night, in Khanka, I was... *so* scared. I wanted to go home, I wanted to be... *anywhere* but there. I wanted to run."
"... but when there's nowhere to run, what do you do, Sousuke?" She looks him in the eye.
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
He wanted her to...
It doesn't come. His dissatisfaction clashes with what he knows of the situation. Would she have been safe anywhere else? Perhaps staying in the safe house. Maybe. His answer that she can see is a slightly sullen look, that face he gets when his thoughts fail him.
And she breaches that night. Of course she was scared, he knows intellectually, but the thought of that deep, deep fear that he saw in her that night, he knows is something he doesn't understand.
He has been trained from too young to remember it.
What does he do...
Fight. Live. He doesn't remember the command even as it rattles his every atom.
"If there's nowhere to run," Sousuke says, looking up toward her. "the only way out is through. I fight, and I look for my chance. If the enemy has you cornered, escaping alive is victory."
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname nods. "And if things were different, if I could've just run away while you fought that guy..." She takes in a breath, and exhales shakily. Tears start to well up. "He would've killed you. I *know* a military nut like you probably thinks that's fine, as long as I got away safe--but it's not! It's--"
She swallows. "I can't lose anyone else, Sousuke. It might be why these people are after me, but whatever the hell is going on in my brain... if I can use it to help keep YOU alive, you're gonna need a fucking army to keep me away."
She reaches over to him and clasps his hand in hers, her face bright pink. "Because I don't want you to stop protecting me."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
He would've killed you, she says. She's right, Sousuke knows. That machine, Venom, that Gauron had had, was an even match for an M9 even without the Lambda Driver, and Gauron was as terrifying a foe as you could ask for. Without Kaname's guidance to turn the system on, he'd have been killed.
At that time, he had told her it was fine to run away and leave him to lose his life. He still thinks about that, and her total refusal. The Captain is a kind woman...a woman who prayed for her soldiers and showed sorrow at their loss. But not even she had ever loudly, stubbornly refused to let them put choose to sacrifice themselves.
I can't lose anyone else, she says. It's not OK for him to die, she says.
I don't want you to stop protecting me, she says.
Sousuke doesn't emote in big ways. But maybe Kaname is learning the way he gets when he's deep in his own thoughts, the tiny ways his expression changes as he flashes through a myriad of thoughts before getting poleaxed by one, a feeling he doesn't understand spreading warmly through his chest as she clasps his hands. "Kaname," he begins, weakly.
He looks up at her, as serious as always, but something in his gray eyes he doesn't know. "I understand," he says. "It won't be a problem."
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname watches as Sousuke works through a sea of thoughts. She's having to learn on her feet with him--for someone so stoic, it's essential.
And it's why, when he says it's not a problem--short, succinct, like always, like he's accepting a change in objectives--she hears the hints of emotion underneath. A bit of the uncertainty.
She smiles. "Sousuke... you're saying that, but we both know it *is* a problem." She's not sure he really understands, either, but she doesn't say that part.
"... Which is why I want to learn to protect myself. It's not exactly in your job description, but--" She huffs quietly. "If you can trust me to handle myself, maybe you'll stop listening in on my apartment at night." She gives him a brief scowl, but squeezes his hand.
Her free hand reaches into one of her lapel pockets to pull out a business card for one Sayla Mass. "And I was thinking... maybe I could help you guys out somehow, on top of that. I was thinking about calling Dr. Mass to talk to her about it."
"I think I'm in deep enough that I might as well take the plunge."
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
He won't let it be a problem. And...no matter the issue, he will protect her.
But, she's not wrong that it's a bit inadequate, too. There's problems, alright. Not least of them...
She wants to learn to protect herself. He thinks of the fear in her face at Khanka. He thinks of how her hand feels in his, delicate in a way he didn't know how to even understand until not so long ago.
"...I hoped you wouldn't have to," he finally says, a full thought computing enough to be spoken. Mira Kudan - she hadn't chosen to come back. She was off with Dr. Painrose's R&D team now, as far as he knew. "Keeping that away from you is my mission. So that you can live your life as you have. But....if it is your wish, then I will assist however I can. As you say. Being able to protect yourself better will make my role easier."
The card. Ah, Doctor Mass. "The Doctor is a wise person. I believe she will be able to give you good advice." Unlike him, a man who couldn't keep his priorities straight in the middle of a fight.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
Kaname laces her fingers in between Sousuke's, insistently. They're small, lightly callused as one would expect for an athlete--but soft, with short, manicured nails.
They don't feel like the hands of a fighter.
But even so, she insists.
"Well... it's not like you've failed or anything." Kaname looks over at him, brow furrowed. "Look. I--" She pauses, thinking. "I've got a feeling I'm gonna regret this, but... what sort of stuff did you know about me coming into this gig?"
God. It's like a cheesy action movie. The bodyguard assigned to a beautiful young woman who ends up falling for him...
... but why is it so hard to tell him? she thinks, cheeks tinged red, hand clasped with his.
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
He can't account for what comes across him as she laces their fingers together.
...and then she asks a question that causes a much more predictable emotion in him. She's right, she probably won't like it. Still, he speaks.
"Name, age, date of birth, place of residence and schooling...similar information about your family," he begins. "A brief biography. As I recall it was principally focused on the several times you moved in and out of the country due to your father's work. The athletic championship achievements." He doesn't have the document in front of him, so he's going off the top of his head. He tips his head slowly, eyes coming back into focus on her.
He doesn't...quite seem to have gotten where she's taking him yet.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
"Right... more or less what I expected, actually." She drops her shoulders a bit in relief. "Moving so much meant I didn't really fit in. Either here *or* in Dakar." Kaname kicks a stray stone down the sidewalk.
"The other kids had it out for me. I'd try running, but they'd usually catch me. Teachers didn't help, either," she adds, muttering. "After a while, I figured it out. I started fighting 'em." She lets a beat pass. "They'd still kick my ass a lot, but I didn't just let them."
"The point is-- I can't run from an enemy. Doesn't have to be a person... any problem is an enemy. I've gotta face it. Tackle it head-on."
She looks at Sousuke, hair flowing out behind her, grinning. "... we're a hell of a match, aren't we?"
<Pose Tracker> Sousuke Sagara has posed.
"Ah. I recall something about a house arrest, now that you say it." ...he does not seem to have an opinion about that. He has trouble understanding it properly, really. Sousuke Sagara never confronted bullies. Even people at Jindai who might have tried it on the weird gun nerd kid have been swiftly routed so effectively that Sousuke never really realized it was happening. So, as usual: He pours it into his world. "An attacker with greater speed, and no backup on its way....yes. Of course, fighting is the only solution."
But he looks back up to her, finding her eyes. "I believe...that I understand," he says, more tentative than he usually would. He does know a thing or two about confronting the enemy, after all. "Then....I will support you." He nods, firmly.
Hair flowing behind her, that smile on her face and that tinge in her cheeks...he can practically feel his own heart in his throat. Sousuke's not a smiley kind of guy, but his lips turn upward into that warm look he manages to achieve ever so rarely. "Indeed, it would seem so," he says.
<Pose Tracker> Kaname Chidori has posed.
<poem> Come to think of it, it's weird that Kaname only got suspended once.
... her dad probably had something to do with that, honestly. Maybe he wasn't *entirely* shitty.
Just mostly.
"Thanks, Sousuke." The grin matures into a proper *smile*, then, and there's more of a spring in her step, too. Knowing she has his understanding and support helps.
"--Oh, right, I almost forgot. They're doing a special showing of an old war movie this weekend, The Guns of Solomon. None of the girls are interested, and I don't wanna go alone, so..."