2025-02-10: My True Feelings Will Protect You
- Log: 2025-02-10: My True Feelings Will Protect You
- Cast: Flay Allster, Kira Yamato
- Where: Magallanica
- Date: U.C. 00100 02 10
- Summary: Fresh off her introduction to Terminal, Flay has a conversation she'd been hoping to for a long time now.
It'd been an interesting few weeks since Flay abruptly quit the Gaia Sabers. She'd spoken to Orlodhari... who treated her with the kindness she'd never expect from an Admiral. She met plenty of new faces, and potential new friends. But knew there was one person she just had to speak to - even if it wouldn't be so simple. Someone she used. Someone she hurt. Someone she hated. Someone she loved, maybe, in some twisted way. And more than anything, someone she wanted to protect. All the same, her stomach twisted into knots at the thought of it. After all this time, what would he think? Still, Flay doesn't think she could forgive herself if she put this off any longer. And so... a knock on the door of an unfamiliar home, a temporary one tucked away in Magallanica. "...Kira?"
"Flay... you're here. Come in." answers the boy from the other side of the door. The Kira Yamato who turns to face her... he looks different. It’s not just that he’s a few years older, or that his hair is a little longer... but there’s a certain melancholy in his weary purple eyes. He regards Flay, before slowly approaching - and the two exchange a brief, yet emotion-filled embrace.
But as they break off, the atmosphere remains still and silent, and Kira stares out the window towards the colony streets of Magallanica. When he turns his head again, the way he looks at her is as if one were facing a ghost. "Kira... why won’t you say anything?" Flay breaks the silence, trying to meet Kira in the eye... but his gaze remains distant. Was this another mistake?
"Even when I found out you were alive," Kira starts. “I felt that I failed to protect you.” That’s what their relationship was, after all. “I never thought you’d come back, so I didn’t..." He can only think about how he made a promise to her before going missing in battle. One that he could never keep. "...I'd get these nightmares, sometimes. Nightmares where I couldn't save you, no matter what I tried differently." Nightmares that he never told Lacus about, but perhaps she heard him in the night regardless. He's always been a fitful sleeper, ever since the war.
And after all this time, Flay feels… conflicted, knowing Kira was still so worried about protecting her. She shifts, uncomfortable to hear that he has nightmares about her death. She took advantage of his protective impulse, and even now... it haunts him as much as it haunts her. "You don't need to do such a thing anymore, Kira. I'm right here." she assures him. "If anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I made my own decisions, and mistakes. I used you, and I just couldn’t face you after that! I ran away from my feelings and even joined the Gaia Sabers! Maybe just coming here won't be enough to make up for it all, but I..." She starts, all while trying to keep the tears back. "If only I realized that sooner, maybe you wouldn’t have such terrible dreams."
"Tori!"
The tension in Kira heightens, and slowly fades., as his robotic bird, Tori, rests on his shoulder. "Mistakes, huh?" He's made mistakes too, and he has stolen away futures. He can never forget that. “We can’t change the decisions we made in the past. And there will always be painful memories..." Flay’s eyes track from Tori to Kira - she thinks she gets what he’s trying to say. "But I think we can always make new ones, Flay." He manages to smile.
"Kira..." He has the same gentle smile she remembers. “Let’s move forward. Together, okay? You don't need to have such nightmares alone anymore." A smile of her own forms. "But still... there’s one thing I want to know. Are you really going to fight again? With the Freedom?" She asks, with a hint of worry in her voice. It’s because of her, that he fought and killed with the Strike, and she doesn’t exactly want to place that on him anymore.
Kira goes quiet for a moment. He knows that they could be attacked at any moment, even with the protection of Terminal and the Magallanica Defense Forces. "...I never want to take another life again, if I can help it." He answers, first. "But if the lives of the people I love were in danger, then... yes, I would fly the Freedom again without hesitation. Through my own will." It’s why he chose to intervene at Cagalli’s wedding, after all.
Flay nods quietly, herself. It’s a different kind of resolve from Kira than before. "Then this time... let me be the one to protect you." She answers, matching that resolve with her own. "I may not be able to do everything a Coordinator can, but I can do that much." She brushes her bangs back, which had previously been hanging over her pale blue eyes. "I've been given a second chance to live. If it means you won’t have to carry that burden alone anymore.. then I'll use it." It's the only way she'll forgive herself.
"...Flay." Kira looks hesitant to accept such a thing. It's not as if he doesn't believe that her feelings are true, but the last thing he wants is for her to risk her life, only to lose it because she wasn't strong enough. For nightmare to become a reality. All the same, he's never forgotten the words that Lacus had given him. Neither strength alone nor will alone. Maybe it'll be all right... "Thanks. You've really changed a lot, but I guess I'm just glad you're here after all this time. I just hope soon... no one has to put their life on the line like that ever again.”
"I'm not the only one who's changed!" Flay points out. "But it's nice to see you starting to smile again. And... I hope so, too." She flips her hair, and then her own smile fades. "That reminds me, there's something important I need to tell you. It's about... Lacus Clyne." She starts, and Kira's eyes dart downwards, as she realizes she could easily give him the wrong idea.
"What's that look for? I don't have a problem with her anymore... and your relationship with her is none of my business." Flay prefaces, perhaps a little more harshly than she'd intended. "I want you to be happy. And if she's the one who can bring you that happiness, that's enough for me. Actually, we spoke not that long ago, during her trip to Japan... and we got along better than I expected to." she explains, absently twisting her hair. "It was.. tense, but if nothing else, I really did owe her an apology for the hostage situation."
That gets Kira to lose some of his tension, though with some trepidation. "...I'm a little surprised. But, I think it's a good thing, if the two of you are able to get along." He frowns, briefly. "Lacus was kind to me, when I really needed it. She's important to me, but... I'm not sure if I can be the one to give her the peace she wants more than anything. It's complicated, is all I can really tell you."
Flay thinks she might understand why Kira feels that way, considering the topic she's about to breach. Still, she decides not to use Kira's answer as a pretense to make any advances. If Kira still has any lingering feelings, it's for the better not to act upon them. "...She told me about Mendel Colony, and the Ravnui coup." Flay says, hushed, and Kira remains quiet too. "And about the real circumstances of your birth... that you're both more than just a Coordinator." She lays it out so simply, Kira might wonder if she's only masking her disgust, as she had before.
His purple eyes grimace, not meeting Flay's. He still hasn't fully gotten over it - the truth that he was born in an attempt to create the 'Ultimate Coordinator'. Rau le Creuset's words at the colony had never stopped haunting him. Perhaps he'd also been worried that if Flay found out, it would only further deepen the rift between them, as if it would only make him more of a monster in her eyes. "I think I get why Lacus told you. It's better, isn't it... to be on the same page. But even knowing that, you're still here?"
"Maybe if I found out before, it’d be different. And I honestly couldn’t believe it at first." Flay admits. "But here, and now... it doesn't change anything. To me, you're still Kira. It might not make things right, but I meant what I said about wanting to be there for you." She tries to give Kira a reassuring smile. "I can't say if Lacus is the same. She's a strange person, but I wonder if she'd really stay by your side if she didn't think you could bring her peace of mind. She doesn’t really seem the type to act on pity, you know?" They are both people who would do whatever it takes, but Flay had always envied Lacus for being someone who could have a place anywhere and everywhere. Honestly, the selfish side of her still resents the girl for it a little, but she doesn't make those feelings known to Kira. "And yet she's here."
Kira slowly nods. Athrun may have returned to the PLANTs, to fulfill a duty that had been imposed upon him, and perhaps to avenge the death of his friend. But he has Lacus, Cagalli, he has his friends... even Flay has returned to him. "...Yeah. We're not alone." He says, and then turns to the door. "I almost forgot. Why don't we pick up something for lunch? Then you can catch up with everyone else."
Flay picks herself up, and brushes aside her hair. "Sure," she smiles. "Sounds like a plan. Where to?"
"Apparently, there's this doner kebab place in Magallanica that's supposed to be really good. Although, my sister would probably insist on pouring chili sauce all over it..." He laughs softly, while Flay gives him a look of confusion.
"Wait a minute! You never mentioned anything about having a sister, did you?" Flay points out, while throwing on her jacket, while Kira just awkwardly smiles.
"Ah... it's a long story. Didn't you ever think Cagalli looked familiar?" Kira replies, as he opens the door, the artificial breeze blowing over his face.
Him and Cagalli? So that’s why... "No way, I thought she was /joking/! And she's a princess, too!" Flay scoffs, and it turns into a laugh. Yes, in retrospect their faces and mannerisms are quite similar... but it does make some of her previous assumptions embarrassing. "Don't tell me you want me to start calling you a prince. Because that’s not happening, Kira."
The conversation as they walk remains lighthearted. Kira and Flay had only ever been a source of pain for each other in the past... and while that vestige is one that will never fully fade, there will always be time to make new encounters, new memories. That's what it means to live.