2025-01-02: Precious Humanity
- Log: Precious Humanity
- Cast: Elisa Kafim, Kaworu Nagisa
- Where: Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island,Earth
- OOC - IC Date: January 2, 0098
- Summary: Elisa is thoughtful on the battlements, and Kaworu comes to visit. They have a discussion of what was, what is, and what may yet be.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
The Silent Castle is busy lately. Its Silence is metaphorical as well as real, but lately it is not entirely accurate; preparations are begun in earnest. But not here. Not on the battlements, where Elisa Kafim stands, heedless of the cold in her black robes. She looks out over the snows--over the perfect ice that she recreated in the wake of the world's Breaking. Her green eyes are focused on the horizon. On the distance of this Earth that she has chosen to see defended...
She is in the battlements of the North Wing, of course. There are few who are welcome here. It is her private sanctum in many ways...
And she is thoughtful, now, in this eternal night of the North Pole's environs.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu's 'castle,' metaphorically speaking, is a long ways from here. But it's not especially difficult for him to go to places like the North Pole, given that it has been an area of interest to NERV for a long while. The Void may have been leeched from the ice, but this was the Empress they were talking about; certain paranoid members of NERV would like Kaworu to keep a close eye on it to make sure things really are over.
This means he has the opportunity to pay his friend Elisa a visit, over at the Silent Castle. He's not a regular fixture here, but he is a strange fellow and therefore memorable, and so it's not difficult for him to simply stroll on up and be announced. Assuming all is well, he'll be guided to the battlements where Elisa is. He doesn't diminish his presence, and strolls up with hands tucked in his pockets as they usually are.
He's also dressed in the uniform of Tokyo-3 Municipal High, despite this being the furthest thing possible from weather-appropriate wear. He likewise does not heed the cold.
"Hey," he greets Elisa with his usual crooked smile. "I hope you don't mind me dropping in on you like this. Your people let me in." He comes to a stop next to her and turns to gaze out towards the vast expanses of ice. "How are you feeling?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Those certain paranoid members are wise to keep an eye on the situation. Elisa is doing nothing less. ...Granted, they probably want to keep an eye on her, too...
But that won't be a problem much longer for her.
She does not visit Kaworu at his home. It would be worse for all involved. So it is a welcome surprise when she notes his presence here. Her servants are willing to let him into the castle, and even more unusually, into the North Wing; he is specifically the only one welcome here besides Elisa herself... Which says something about their friendship.
"Hello," Elisa greets in return, with a nod. "I do not object. Quite the opposite, I am pleased to see you. ...And more, because it means they recalled my instructions."
How is she feeling...? A strange question to Elisa much of the time, but not strange for Kaworu. "...Curious," she says. "I spoke to an interesting young woman the other day. Flay Allster. She helped me to understand human weakness and strength, and how they coexist."
"...I am... restless," she settles on eventually. "While it is one thing to wrap up loose ends, I have now tested myself against the Empress, and my strength may or may not be enough. Relying on others is... unusual, for me."
"Caring for 'pain' is unusual."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Perhaps instead of 'paranoid,' they should be referred to as 'appropriately vigilant'?
But there are indeed changes brewing like a blizzard on the horizon.
Kaworu is easygoing and courteous to Elisa's servants, as he always is--not just to them, but in general. Elisa says she's pleased, not just to see him but because her servants remembered that he is welcome here in a place where few are.
He listens attentively, curiously, when Elisa answers his question. Flay Allster... He isn't familiar with her personally, but it sounds as though she's been a help with Elisa's personal quest. That's good to hear. "How did she do so?" he wonders.
Restless, she says. Her strength may be not enough. "Are you concerned that She will break through again soon?" he wonders, this time with a touch more concern--'soon' being the operative word there. His smile soon returns, though. "Unusual--but, perhaps, not unpleasant?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
A blizzard that may yet consume more than they hope.
"She showed me weakness when she was unable to cope with the necessary terms of victory, in a mission for the Gaia Sabers. But she showed me the strength of her 'pride' when she declined my Power, chose not to pursue something that would have allowed her to achive her goals... at the cost of the reason she cares for them in the first place."
"Fascinating girl. She has manipulated others, but foresworn such means for the future. I wish her well."
A pause.
"No," Elisa answers. "Not soon. With the North Pole restored, the weakness in the Veil is gone. Unless there is another mass death or other devastation in Earth's near future, she has no hope of breaching it. ...Of course, those things happen often, here..."
A pause. "I think my power will be enough. I did not draw upon all of my strength. But I will need our allies, on this side."
"...And yes. Unusual, but not unwelcome. I would not call our allies 'friends' as I do you, but it is... well, to have colleagues again. And pain, well... Before, I cared nothing for pain. It was a pointless stimulus. But now, I understand the pain I caused Yuliana..."
"And the pain I eased for her. Both. It is more important than I realized, as part of 'life' for people."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"I see. She sounds like a fascinating person," Kaworu replies of Flay, a note of approval in his voice for Elisa's description of her. "A shining example of the strong will Lilim can possess." Perhaps one day, they'll have the pleasure of being able to meet.
Elisa speaks of mass death or devastation. Kaworu doesn't even need to say anything; she points out how common such things are on Earth all on her own. Still, she's confident in her own power--but also in the need for allies.
"Yes, it's good to have companionship. Such things aren't created equal, as you say, but understanding many, many others creates a rich and vibrant heart." The pain she's caused Yuliana... Kaworu's gaze softens in empathy. As much as he loves Shinji, both of them have hurt each other over the many times they've met again, never meaning to but doing so all the same. That, too, has added texture to their hearts.
"Yes. For the ones we love, it's crucial to understand that. We are not completely divorced from humanity, but we can't be considered human, either." He gazes back out at the icy plains. "Yuliana and Shinji-kun... They're both so very human still, despite everything."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Perhaps so. ...She might or might not appreciate it, considering. But maybe so; Kaworu is altogether easier to talk to than Elisa.
A rich and vibrant heart... "Mm. I suppose I need that. To avoid becoming what She has become. A rich, and vibrant heart to share with my wife, and our followers and children..."
A look to Kaworu. She nods, when she understands his expression has softened.
"Yes," Elisa agrees. "...Nor, I think, do i wish to be completely divorced from it. 'Humanity' is a thing that the Empress took from me. I would not change who I am as a result, but I will have my vengeance for that, too." She, too, looks to the icy plains. "They are. Despite everything... They have such love. And even when Yuliana ascends as I will, she will retain that 'heart'. She is set upon it."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Probably not--and probably so. Kaworu isn't always able to communicate well with Lilim, but he does not engage in hostility. (Sometimes that doesn't help. Some Lilim generate enough hostility for everyone they meet.)
"I feel sorry for Her," he remarks. "But She must be stopped all the same, for the sake of the Earth and its denizens."
One can feel sorry for a rabid animal and commit oneself to putting it down all the same. Elisa has every right to avenge herself on her, too.
"Yes. Yuliana has grown a great deal since I first met her." He doesn't say you must be proud; it either goes without saying, or exists independently of how Elisa feels. "Shinji-kun will be the same way, when it happens to him. It may not happen this time around--he's far enough from NERV that it would be difficult for circumstances to guide him that way--but it will happen, inevitably."
He looks back at Elisa. "Are you looking forward to it? Or do you hope things may remain the way they are for a while longer?"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"It is strange to me, but it seems like you, to feel sorry for Her. If I were a kinder being, I suppose I might as well; her rage is ultimately fruitless. It will never recover what she wanted." She switches, from bothering to refer to the Empress in divinity. Not in this context. "...But whatever the reason, we will end her. If it is a kindness, so be it."
Yuliana has grown... "She has. Sometimes despite my efforts, and sometimes because of them. I must remember that."
Shinji... So it will happen to him as well. Elisa inclines her head. "I see." She has nothing she can say to that, really; Kaworu knows what must happen, and he is prepared for it.
"...Both are true," she reflects. "I am fascinated and heartened to know that she will finally have her own strength, separate from what the Empress has done to her. I wish to know what we shall create together, the existence we will forge. At the same time..."
"...I wish to... enjoy the time I have with her as as close to 'mortal' as I am, I suppose. It is precious to her, and I suppose, it will be a precious memory to me."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu does note that switch; for some, it might seem too subtle to hear, but it's as plain to him as if it were written out in front of him. It's an important step for Elisa, he thinks, context-dependent or not. "Yes," he replies. To all of it.
He chuckles a bit. Sometimes despite, sometimes because. "Yes. As much as we might like the ones we love to look at only us forever, Lilim are creatures of community. The connections they have and nurture bring them happiness. They aren't the only ones for whom that is so, either." He smiles at her. "We must both remember that as well."
He doesn't go further into what may happen to Shinji in the future. It's not the same as what will happen (what has happened) to Yuliana. It's a mark of his friendship with Elisa that he brings it up at all.
He listens thoughtfully to her answer. "I understand that feeling," he says with sympathy. "I believe there's no need to hurry. You will have eternity together soon enough."
He won't, but he doesn't begrudge Elisa or Yuliana that.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Yes, Kaworu says, and that is a perfectly reasonable response for Elisa. She accepts it.
The laugh, there, and Elisa is almost wry. Almost. "...Yes," she says. "I am beginning to see that. Even those we bring with us are likely to maintain some community... And when we maintain community with each other and them, we shall retain more 'self' than the one who broke herself into the Void. ...I have no intention of breaking."
We must both remember it. "Indeed." Similarly...s he appreciates Kaworu sharing what he does of Shinji, not because she will act on it, but because he would not. Even she can recognize that, and she will not trod on that truth without need.
"Hmmm... yes. The only need to hurry is that if we do not take our opportunity, she may surprise us. ...But perhaps tonight I will discuss it with her."
Soon enough...
"I am... pleased. Despite my missteps, despite my foolish following of her 'nature', I am to have all that I wished for. I..."
She considers. "I am not given to 'hope', but instead try to work to what I wish. But I 'hope', all the same, that your time with your Shinji is all that it may be."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu only smiles when Elisa says she has no intention of breaking. She, too, has grown. It's not for him to be proud of her, but it is for him to be glad for her, as her friend... just as Elisa silently acknowledges what he shares, as his friend.
Kaworu has always had a friend he loves dearly, who is like him in the way he feels, but it's refreshing to have a friend who is the like him in the way he perceives the world. Even if Elisa is not the same manner of being as him, she is similar enough--and loves enough like him--that these moments with her make him feel understood in a unique way.
It's truly wonderful.
"May your discussion go well, then," he replies. He doesn't think that Yuliana will be in a hurry to ascend, after the Empress, but as Elisa says, she may surprise them. Either way, it seems that Elisa is in a better place too, with hope for more.
She's not given to 'hope.' That makes sense, for her. Kaworu has a lot of thoughts and feelings on hope, but they are for Lilim. For Elisa, he simply says graciously, "Thank you."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
She has grown, and she has changed. Elisa may never be kind or even particularly friendly, but those things are true. ...And she is glad to have a friend. Perhaps she has two, now... But always, she will remember her first friend in her life in this way.
"Thank you," Elisa says as well. "...I look forward to hearing her thoughts. For so long, I was concerned only with her safety..." A nod.
"Of course." A pause. "...We are in my North Wing. I have more sculptures; I do not intend to take them with me, but I have finished them all the same. May I show you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
That is friendship, isn't it? To be glad to have someone who cares for and understands you. In the same way, when Elisa asks Kaworu that question, he is intrigued, and it shows on his face. The form of art he prefers is music, but sculptures are art as well, and he has enjoyed what he's seen of her work before. To see more would be a pleasure.
And so he replies, "Please." Where Elisa leads him, he will follow to observe and appreciate her latest works.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It is something Elisa has had the chance to experience, despite what her nature was intended to be. And it is indeed also a pleasure.
"Very good," she answers, and moves to the stairs, walking down through the tower towards the cold, cold environs of the North Wing.
But there is a room full of structures. The most prominent of course is Desire, the many-handed tower that Elisa showed once before. There are many others, with various strange shapes, often body parts iterated upon unusually, such as eyes that show varying signs of opening. More are draconic in nature, reminiscient of her kaiju. But a few are new...
The first is pure abstraction; cubes and spheres in an orrey of combination. Each is inscribed with symbols, but they are not magical runes but instead the sigils of individuals and organizations. The Photon Power League's is one; the Silent Castle is another.
"...This represents... Community," Elisa says. "I still do not fully understand it. But I tried to explore the idea that our orbits may be separate, but sometimes intersect. ...You can see the two merged together here, for now; that is meant to be temporary, and yet it is placed here in shape for as long as this sculpture should last."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
There is Desire, that rising tower that Kaworu bore witness to once before. He takes a moment to admire it anew before moving along after Elisa. He does recognize the theme of body parts, and the draconic look of some do remind him of her kaiju. When at last they stop in front of 'Community,' he takes it in in thoughtful silence.
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"So I see," he replies, of her not fully understanding. "It's different from your other works. Less organic. It's not yet something you have made your own. But it's something you're striving towards." He does look towards where Elisa indicates, and the sigils of organizations and people marked therein. It may be temporary, but that's good. Temporary means room for growth.
He thus gives Elisa an encouraging smile. "It's a fine start. I look forward to seeing how you continue to shape your 'Community.'"
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
The sculptures here would be considered horrific by many; less so the true abstractions, but the dragons certainly, the body parts, the hands. ...But Kaworu does not make these judgements to her.
Elisa appreciates that.
"...yes," she says. "Perhaps in time. I intend to make works with my wife, and with our followers, those who choose to join us in the Void. But... I think I will miss working with ordinary 'matter', as well."
A nod. "Thank you," she says. "We shall see. I have... a few more, that are new."
One she does not dwell on, though it is new. "This is Rage," she says in passing, and it is a near-identical copy of She Who Devours--in part. But the wrist is up, and it terminates in a humanoid figure of similar appearance to her own, but with dull, hollow eyes. "She could have been 'me'. But she was never given that opportunity. We slew her of necessity. But I do not forget where I came from."
But there is one after that, too. One more, beside it...
The last is of Yuliana. Not in abstract form, not changed to be a dragon, but Yuliana, exactly as she is, in repose. Perhaps dreaming. There are no strange hands, no viscissitudes of flesh. There is just the woman, as she exists.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Kaworu does not. His kin have strange appearances also. The hands are not disturbing to him; he can appreciate the art for the soul behind it.
"Hmmm... Does that mean you won't work with it once you've all gone to the Void?" he wonders, looking over at Elisa. "It's a different place with different materials, but will there be nothing of the old you can shape?"
It will be a sad thing if so. He can understand why she thinks she will miss it even before it's gone.
For now, as they move on, he looks towards Rage and notes the ways in which it's different--and the ways in which it's familiar. It can be painful to remember, as they discussed once. But there is no escaping one's origins. He understands this one well too. But she doesn't dwell on it, so he observes, he takes it in--and he lets them move on.
At last, they reach the final sculpture, at least for now. He takes this one in too: Yuliana in repose, as she is. To see it is to imagine an Elisa who sees her wife clearly and accepts her. His smile deepens to see it, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
"It's beautiful," he murmurs.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I am unsure," Elisa admits. "I know of the Void's power, but I do not know if I will be able to conjure gross matter within, rather than only Void energy. If I can, then I shall shape places to walk, places to sit, places to be for those who wish to recall their humanity. ...But while I expect I can... It will not be the same, shaping with Will, as shaping with my hands."
They move on from Rage. It is important to understand the origin--but she has moved past her own. She adds only one more thing. "...Perhaps I, too, will have Shards. But I will allow them to be their own, if so. Even if that means I must combat with them later."
But the final sculpture... Elisa is proud and happy with this one; she waits for Kaworu's appraisal.
"Thank you," she answers softly. "I wished... to present my Yuliana only as she is, rather than how I or the Empress or anyone else wish her to be."
"...I might grant her further strength, take away some of her pain and worry. A little more muscle still perhaps, I adore her musculature. ...But I will not. It is important, to let her be who she is. This is what I have come to understand; that when I wished to change her to keep her safe, it was not so different from the Empress's desires."
"And so, this will be my testament, remaining here, of who she is now, herself."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"True," Kaworu concedes. To shape matter that you yourself created is a different experience than from shaping that which already existed outside of you. That, at least, is a very Lilim experience--they craft goods from synthetic materials all the time. It's funny sometimes how they can reflect the cosmic in their struggles to shape the world to their own needs and desires.
"It's like children," he muses, of Elisa's future Shards. "To truly create new life, one must allow them free will, even if that free will leads to defiance. Only with freedom can any of us become all we can be." Even if--indeed--it means they must fight later. Kaworu knows that one all too well, too.
They stand before Yuliana's statue as Elisa speaks of her motivation. To let Yuliana be, and not try to make her into something else that she desires. To distance herself from how the Empress would have treated her--treated either of them. "It's a fine testament," he observes. "For her, and for you."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
It's interesting in that way; Elisa has used many natural materials here in the Silent Castle... primarily because they're very good at holding warmth, of course.
To create new life... "Yes," Elisa agrees. "It is so. Having been controlled in that way, I am loath to exercise it so freely as once I did."
"...Thank you," Elisa says. "I wished to show it to you, above all. That I could be sure you understood my perspective..."
"But I will show it to my Yuliana, as well. That she might see herself through my eyes and hands."
"'Freedom'... Once I found it an inconvenience. And yet now, it seems quite precious. So I, too, can be changed."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's unexpected to Kaworu, to hear that Elisa wanted to show him her sculpture of Yuliana even more than Yuliana herself. Unexpected, and touching. He looks over at her with a mote of surprise that soon melts into warmth.
"It does feel strange, doesn't it? Even we are not immutable," he muses, looking back at the sculpture. "So long as we continue to walk among mortals, we will continue to influence and be influenced by them."
They may be less 'pure' than they would be otherwise--but as the Empress's pure rage indicates, purity isn't necessarily a good thing. It's by being folded with weakness that they can overcome it and gain true strength.
And, though Kaworu doesn't mention it... they've been an influence on each other as well.