2024-09-10: What We Can
- Log: What We Can
- Cast: Flay Allster, Lanra Gavarre (Kathras Fari's XO)
- Where: The Aion, Heaven's Base, Atlantic Ocean, ,Earth
- OOC - IC Date: September 10, 0099
- Summary: Flay Allster returns to the Aion to collect her mobile suit. Releasing it into her custody is the Aion's XO, Lanra Gavarre. They have a few things to talk about besides the handoff, including the past and the future as well as the crew's tensions.
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
"...Thanks for taking care of the Strike while I was away," Flay's face is perhaps tinted with a look of relief, as she boards the bridge of the Agamemnon-class cruiser, the Aion, stationed at the seat of the Gaia Sabers' power, Heaven's Base, in Area 10. It's still hard to get used to the idea of saluting a 'superior', but even if it's not Captain Fari she's speaking to... Commander Gavarre strikes enough of a impressive picture that she does so anyway.
"Oh, right... this is Second Lieutenant Flay Allster. I was on leave last week... so I'm here to pick up my mobile suit." She takes a deep breath. Despite the surprising amount of resolve she displayed, it wasn't long after the battle that she signed her papers for leave, and perhaps it wasn't long enough. It certainly gave her plenty of time to think, though... and now she's back in a Gaia Sabers uniform.
Instead of immediately wandering down to the hangar to take the Strike E and leave, she pays attention to the 'mood' of the ship's crew. While she still can't tell precisely how people are feeling, something about the atmosphere on Heaven's Base definitely shifted since Junius Seven struck the atmosphere. And perhaps the easiest explanation is... "I've heard we got a lot of new fresh recruits since the Junius Seven incident, but I didn't realize how many until I saw them all..." She says, as if it's just small talk. Fresh recruits who joined for the same reason she did... "And everyone seems a lot more serious now, but it's not like I blame them." She looks down. "Do you think we're going to have to go to war again? Against the Coordinators?"
<Pose Tracker> Lanra Gavarre has posed.
"You're welcome."
Lanra Gavarre salutes back, as is appropriate, her posture straight and her uniform sharp. Her eyes are less so, though--she looks at Flay, after all, and she sees a young pilot who did her best in the battle. She doesn't blame her for taking leave, like some officers are talking about the people who took off when they might be 'needed'.
"And welcome back in that case, Ms. Allster."
The mood is tense, in a word. The junior crew running most of the bridge consoles are talking amongst themselves, with similar questions and worries. Their superiors at the main stations are quieter, even Abram Zhukov, the blonde Zaftran who usually keeps everyone else's spirits up. His father's a General; he knows a few things others might not... but not many.
"You heard right," Lanra answers. "Of course, some of that is that there are openings; a lot of other people went on temporary leave. It might be their last chance for a while."
She pauses. Her red eyes take in Flay's demeanor.
"I do," she says. "...While usually I'd discourage the crew from speculation, it's hard for even me not to, here. We saw what happens when we leave the Coordinators to their own devices, after all."
She considers. "...You fought well out there. How are you feeling about the prospect?"
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
Flay appreciates the softer expression from Lanra - she was honestly expecting some judgement for taking some time off, even if it was short. "Thank you, Commander. Now that I'm back, I'll do whatever I can... whether it involves piloting the Strike or not." If it's the former, then the worst case scenario has already happened... but it already seems like Heaven's Base is consolidating its strength.
The tense mood is a little unnerving, of course. But she doesn't think it's wrong for people to be scared right now. She pauses, considering Lanra's explanation for the build-up of new recruits. "You might be right. But... I don't think many people suddenly decide to join the military unless they have a really good reason." She doesn't need to say what it might be.
Lavra's answer to whether there's war against Coordinators in their future is simple. Flay doesn't blink. "Left to their own devices? If you ask me, they're way more dangerous in times of war," She says, about the idea of declaring war against the Coordinators. "The enemy pilots, they were... really desperate. Like they were still fighting in the Bloody Valentine War," Flay notes, with a strained expression. "And I realized the world hasn't really let go. None of us."
Gavarre says she fought well out there, and... "But it still wasn't enough! I needed someone to save me, and..." It makes her think of Rena's words. To keep her eyes open, even through the world's hatred. "If we really have to go to war, then I want to make sure it ends as quickly as possible. That's what any pilot would want, right?"
<Pose Tracker> Lanra Gavarre has posed.
"Good. That's the way." Lanra nods to Flay. Help however you can--Lanra feels similarly, after all. It's part of how she achieved the rank she has.
"You're right about that," she says simply to Flay's comment on the new recruits. "...More soldiers than not skipped leave. Even knowing they might not get another chance soon. But I think those who have places to go should remember what they're fighting for, if they can."
"Hmm..." Way more dangerous in times of war. "They did, didn't they?" She looks distant. "But even when we made 'peace' with them, they still did this. ...But you're right. I certainly haven't let go."
"I never will. If 'peace' was really possible, I'd accept that, even if I don't much like letting them get away with the things they've done. But it doesn't look to me that it is. ...The decision's above my pay grade, in any case; I can only do my part."
A pause then. "You did," Gavarre answers. "But you came home alive. That means you can go out on the next mission, too." She considers that. "...Yes. Any pilot would want that. A quick end to war..."
"That's best. The Captain thinks so, too."
"...But desparate, you said. That makes sense to me. For a lot of people, the war never really ended. At best, it paused. ...And the things we lost in that war, we'll never get back. Neither will they."
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
Flay nods again, at the idea of doing what you can. It's a little nice to have even that shred of agency, but...
More Gaia Sabers stayed than left, after what happened... it sounds kind of surprising at first, but Flay imagines they're people who now no longer have a family or home to return to. "Those with places to go, huh..." She considers. "Do you have something like that, Commander?" From her demeanor right now... it's a little hard for Flay too say for sure.
But she has a somewhat better idea when Lanra questions making peace, and admits she still hasn't let go. "One of the pilots who dropped the colony was a part of Le Creuset's team... responsible for killing my father. I couldn't forgive him, and he's dead now..." Not by her own hand, but that's war. "But I just felt empty about it. Is that what it means to let go?"
She considers Gavarre's other argument carefully, too. That even in a time of peace, they still let this happen... "You're not entirely wrong... if there's anyone to blame for breaking the peace, it was them. The Coordinators, I mean." But what happens next, is on their own hands. Flay knows that. "And that means there's more people who will never let go."
Lanra points out that the most important part is that she came back alive. "That's true. It's not like I'm not grateful to be alive, I even made my proper thanks. I just..." Is that all it means, that she can fight another battle? "Wish we could have done more. But even a miracle... wouldn't have been enough." And if that was the case, what would it take to end a war quickly?
She considers that for a lot of people the war was never over. Even Rau Le Creuset's mad ramblings were lost on the world. "I know that way too well," She sighs, at the idea of the things they lost never coming back. "But someone told me that you can't just live for the dead, either. So... I think we need to do what we can for the people we can protect."
<Pose Tracker> Lanra Gavarre has posed.
"I don't," Gavarre answers, shaking her head. "...I lost my family in Bloody Valentine. The Gaia Sabers are my home now." And, some of the rumors go, the Captain. But those are probably only rumors... "They were in the AEU."
The pilots... Le Creuset's team. Lanra doesn't lose her cool, but she is surprised by that--Flay can probably see the shift in her eyes and eyebrows even if it only lasts for a moment. "I see," she says. "I'm sorry." But it's not an empty platitude; it's an expression not of just sympathy, but solidarity, by her tone. "...Revenge is something we often pursue. And 'justice' is real--'justice' is important. Nothing can bring back those we lost, though. ...I don't think you've let go, if you still feel the loss."
She pauses. "Yes," she says of the peace. Sure, what happens next is up to them, but, "There are. On both sides, I'm sure. But it's our side we're responsible for protecting."
She wishes... Lanra nods. "I understand," she says. "I wish the same, if I'm being honest with you. I can tell you that, because you've experienced that same loss. I wish we could've stopped it, instead of only lessening it."
You can't live only for the dead. That actually gives Gavarre some pause; she hesitates. "...A hard truth," she admits. "Sometimes, 'living for the living' feels like giving up on the dead. But I want the same. I'll rebuild my family, one day."
"But today," she says, "We have to protect the people we can. And that means getting within readiness. So I hope your leave refreshed you. We're going to need your strength."
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
"You too, huh?" She gives her a similar look of solidarity, before realizing she's still speaking to a superior, and just lowers her head a little. "Um... my condolences." The Gaia Sabers being her home is one thing, but she doesn't know enough about her relationship to the Captain to say... even if she doesn't blame a woman for taking power from using a man for what he's worth.
"Thanks, but you're right... that revenge is exactly what I was looking for. That even if Papa would never come back, at least he can pay the price for it. Turns out he was fighting for exactly the same reason." Her expression harshens. "People say that all the time, but I can't really see any justice in it. Because he's dead, and he got exactly what he wanted, anyways!"
She tightens her fist, and then considers what Lanra says next. "I do. It's just... I don't know how to feel when so many people lost their homes, and I got to come back to an empty one in Orb." She shakes her head, considering how Lanra must feel. "Is it the same for you? I guess that must be why you always stay on the ship... why you're so dedicated."
People who can't let go on both sides... but they've got to protect their own. Maybe it really was naive of Rena to want to protect everyone at once. "Right.. a lot of people need an answer right now. Both to why this had to happen, and what will happen next. I want to be able to give that to people... because it's what I needed back then, too." She doesn't doubt Lanra Gavarre has found an answer, though.
Even Lanra wishes they could have stopped it, but... at this stages, wishes aren't enough. "There was something more to it... but I can't really explain it. It was like a will of its own, telling us that we couldn't stop it no matter what we did. It was... terrifying. And now it's going to plunge the world into war."
"Giving up on the dead?" Flay wonders. "I guess it can feel that way. I don't really think my father would be proud of all the things I did after he died." She... did burn a lot of bridges, after all. "Rebuild your family?" She asks, though. She's a little surprised to hear it from Gavarre. "I think that's probably better than dying for revenge." She concludes, anyways.
She nods about protecting the people they can. Her strength will be needed? "It gave me a lot of time to think at least." She smiles, half-heartedly. "I'm not really anything special as a pilot... but I don't plan on turning my eyes from this. And I think, besides that, people are going to need my words, too. I'll make sure they're heard, with or without the Strike's strength behind them."
<Pose Tracker> Lanra Gavarre has posed.
Lanra nods to Flay. But when Flay remembers she's a superior and grows a little more formal, the Commander doesn't stop her. There is such a thing as propriety, even if she's very sympathetic to this particular pilot, considering.
"I'm looking for it too, though I couldn't tell you which of them ordered the strike that killed my family. ...Maybe if I knew it wouldn't do many good," she admits, like it seems not to have done Flay much good. "He did. But that just means that 'justice' has to be bigger than one man. ...They say they have the same reasons as us, and maybe some do. But no matter what their reasons, we can't let them get away with what they've done."
A pause, then. "...That's fair. It's the same. It is why. Going home now... it's just an empty house. It's not home anymore. Not without them."
An 'answer'. Flay is right; Lanra has one. It is not Rena's answer. "...The Captain's better at that than I am," she says. "He's really kept people going around here. If you can do the same... Then we'll rely on you for more than just piloting."
Something more. A will? Lanra is thoughtful. "Hm. You know, one of our crew expressed the same," she says. She doesn't share who; there's a reason for that. "That it felt like there was something 'behind' what happened. I assumed it was just sentiment, but maybe there's something to it. Who can say?"
A pause, then, and she doesn't smile, but her expression does go softer. "...I didn't know your father. I can't comfort you about what he would've thought. But I can say that deciding to try to rebuild, it helped me. Sacrifice is important--is noble--but I'd rather see our soldiers all live, if I could."
She can't, of course. That's the tone. But she would like it.
"That'll do," Lanra says of leave. "Not every pilot is the ace who turns the tide of the war. But that ace can't do it alone. It's what we do together that changes things. ...So use those words, Lieutenant. I'll be watching for them."
A pause. "That's all. The Strike should be in fine shape for you to reclaim. Unless you have questions?"
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
Flay nods, when Lanra confirms she's looking for revenge, but she doesn't know who's responsible. Despite her own feelings of emptiness about it, she isn't going to tell the Commander that revenge is wrong. "Maybe it wouldn't," She agrees. "I think sometimes, that kind of truth just hurts too much to know. But I get wanting... closure, too." She sighs, before listening to Lanra's words about justice. "If their deaths weren't enough to create justice, I wonder if anything is." Durandal's offering to pay reparations, but it seems more likely... this keeps going.
Flay gives Lanra a sad look, though, when she talks about her empty home. "It isn't fair," She replies. "None of this is fair! No one should have to say they don't have a place to call home anymore... but it keeps happening." And a ship can often feel like a poor substitute for it, can't it?
"That's good to hear... about the Captain, at least. I think most people need someone like that." She doesn't have a very clear impression of Captain Fari yet, at least not compared to Commander Gavarre... but even before she joined the Gaia Sabers, she saw his interviews on TV. It's not a surprise to hear he's motivating people to keep going.
Flay gives a curious look when Lanra mentions one of the crew members also mentioned a 'will'. "Mmm, it's... someone else at the battle felt it too. And she told me these feelings usually come for a reason. My head was all over the place, so I thought I was just going crazy..." She even laughs, a little. "But who can say?" She repeats, her expression fading.
Lanra might not be able to comfort her about her father, but Flay looks thoughtful about what she says - about rebuilding. "I guess it's like - there's nowhere to go but up, right?" She asks. "I think only a strong person could see it that way." As for sacrifice... "It can be stupid, when you don't think about what you're leaving behind. The feelings you'll be leaving people with. That matters, too. So... I think it's better that way."
Flay knows that even if she takes his mobile suit, she can't be what she turned Kira Yamato into. So she just regards Lanra's sentiment with a nod. "What we do together... I understand. That means I'll be counting on your command, too." She smiles. "I won't hold them back."
As for the Strike... "No, that should be all. I might ask to use your simulator... just in case the worst happens."
<Pose Tracker> Lanra Gavarre has posed.
A truth that hurts too much to know... It could be. But Lanra doesn't flinch from most things anymore. She thinks she'd rather know. Because, "Closure. As you say." A pause. "...Maybe not," she admits. "But maybe they'll find a way so that it doesn't have to happen again."
To stop the threat.
Flay is sad, and while Lanra appreciates the sympathy, as a superior officer she can't have the same kind of outburst. ...So she tells herself, anyway. "I agree. Chaos robs so many people of their homes in this world."
"I certainly do," she answers of 'people like that'.
"Other people too... Hm. Well, this crewman's feelings are rarely wrong. I can't imagine an event like that having a 'will', but the people who did it must have."
Pause. Sacrifice... When it's stupid. And when there's nowhere to go but up. "It's easy, to get bogged down in the past and the present when they're both gloomy." She pauses. "...Hm. The perspective of someone left behind," she notes. "...Forgive me; that's a personal comment." Too personal, probably. "We can only try to avoid such regrets ourselves."
Counting on their command. She actually smiles back, though it's brief, businesslike. "Good," she says.
"Feel free. I'll ensure it stays open to you as long as you're around us. ...Dismisssed, Lieutenant. Take care."
She salutes again--and turns to return to other work.
<Pose Tracker> Flay Allster has posed.
"If there really is a way... I suppose all we can do is play our parts." She pauses. It used to be so easy to just blame Coordinators and the PLANTs, for everything that went wrong. But every time she remembers Nicol, talking about his grief the same way she talked about hers... well, it's a reminder of the way that chaos rid the PLANTs of their homes, too.
Flay wonders about that crewman, but if Lanra is keeping it close to her chest, she doesn't press. It's a distressing topic, after all. She wonders what it means that she was able to sense something like that at all.
"And when the future looks uncertain," Flay adds, though she tilts her head in curiosity at that 'personal comment'. Certainly, she hasn't been holding back on her own personal comments. "If that brought up something unpleasant, I'm sorry." A pause. "But I don't want to become someone's regret, either." Currency for someone else's despair, as Rena put it.
Flay catches that smile, realizing that even through her pain, Gavarre can be kind, too. "Thanks for everything... I'll be on my way. I'm wishing you and the rest of the crew the best!" She returns the salute a little easier, this time.