2024-07-18: Is It Right to Hate?
- Cast: Marian Cross, Murasaki El-Amari
- Where: Defense Force base - Orb
- Date: U.C. 0099 07 18
- Summary: Does suffering justify one's hate, even if another is willing to take that on?
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
The scent of charcoal and savory hotdogs, wings and burgers wafted through the base grounds. The mouthwatering smell mixes with freshly cut grass erects a sense of primality that could make anyone's stomach growl. And this is precisely what Marian is doing. Hosting a casual BBQ party in the base grounds, just aside some paved roads and lamps, as a get-together with any off-duty soldiers in the base. The lamps aren't on right now, but they will be as soon as the sun sets. The sky is a dim blue hue, with the sun is still hovering above the trees.
Marian is just mingling with the crowd, talking merrily as she works the one of the few grills she's setup. And the crowd seems happy and grateful they have a commander on base that's not such a stickler for rules and even cooks some great food for them. There are even beers for the off-duty officers, and juices for on-duty ones. But she only allowed them to stay for a bit before sending them on their way. It's all a very elaborate setup for a 'casual' BBQ party.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
It's a typically warm day in Orb, so Murasaki elected for an indoor workout today. Leg day, so she was really hoping to get back to her personal quarters for an evening of rest. That is of course, until she smells the aroma of barbecue. An idle comment to a soldier walking past tells her one of the officers is running a casual barbecue for the base.
Well, she should get protein in after a good workout, right?
Murasaki makes her way over to the party, luckily it wasn't at the mess so her workout attire was appropriate. She'll just grab a burger, something to drink, and be on her way. Shouldn't be an issue.
Until she finally catches sight of who is running the grill, and her jaw starts to sting a little bit.
Okay, just play it casual, get your food and leave, no chit chat. Murasaki waits in line, trying to avoid eye contact. When she finally reaches the front, she just simply asks for a burger, with cheese, still avoiding eye contact.
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
"That's a little overcooked, but should be fine," she says to someone besides her helping run the grills.
The line isn't particularly long, with four grills around. And not long after, someone familiar came up to the front of one of the grills. She didn't come up to her grill, but she noticed her instantly when she's in her workout outfit as opposed to almost everyone else's slacks and uniform. Even Marian set aside her jacket and is just baring her usual dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up while she cooks.
Marian could tell she's trying to avoid her, so she doesn't call out to her right now and just continue as is. But she is going to catch her for a conversation as soon as she tries to leave.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Cheeseburger acquired, no attention from Marian as far as she could tell. Okay good. Time to flee. Even if she does notice, surely she's not going to beat Murasaki again in front of this entire crowd right? That would kill the mood wouldn't it? Right. So time to just grab a juice bottle and casually get out of here.
Murasaki plucks an apple juice from the selection and starts to walk off. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. That's the ticket, that's the way.
Nothing could possibly go awry.
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
Soon as Murasaki walks off, Marian gestures for someone to take her place at the grill. She grabs a nice chilled can of beer, seems like it's a Japanese brand, and follow behind.
Once they're away from the crowd, but still within sight, she sped up and called out, "going so soon? We've got hotdogs and wings too."
A loud pop followed by fizzling as Marian cracks open her can while attempting to stop Murasaki for a conversation. She's no doubt wary of her, after what happened on their first meeting, but she still wanted to talk, to set things straight, perhaps.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki shakes a bit when she realizes she's been caught, her burger jumping ever so slightly off the paper plate. She turns sheepishly to see Marian standing there.
"Eh...heh...oh yeah, you know...just got out from the gym...leg day...sore...didn't shower yet, and uh...wanting to rest, you know?"
Murasaki is trying not to show her nervousness, but she also knows that Marian could do a lot of damage to her head with that full can.
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
A sip, or rather, more like a chug, as Marian throws her head back. She lets out a sigh as she enjoys the taste, swirling the can and finding it half empty already. Then she turns to Murasaki, who appears to be stuttering somewhat, and quite nervous, even if she's trying to hide it.
Could she be afraid of her? Why would she be afraid of her? Murasaki could fight back. Marian's pretty sure Murasaki is stronger than her with how hard she hit her last time. Sure, she has her injuries, but it's not just that. Murasaki is just naturally stronger, thanks to her half-coordinator blood.
"No one's gonna smell you with all that BBQ around." A pause, then, "...relax. I'm not going to do anything crazy. Things just got a little bit heated last time. I'm sorry."
She's sorry, she says. But it's not sincere. She just wanted Murasaki to stick around. And as for the injuries that occurred during the test? Marian reported it as injuries sustained during the duel when the engineers came up afterwards.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki looks to her, but keeps her distance. This was too public. And besides, if Marian did fight her, and Murasaki did fight back, it was going to be the word of the so called Hero of Orb, and a higher rank, against the word of someone who was just above a total social pariah.
But as for her claim of not going to do anything crazy...well just stay at arms length.
"...Okay." Murasaki says.
She looks around. They're out of earshot of the party but Murasaki is still nervous.
"I'm not exactly popular around here."
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
Marian realized it after the test when she looked further into Murasaki. Things that aren't in the files. Murasaki seems to be a shunned figure in the military. A kind of black mark that's not noted in the records. It seems High Command just delegated her to busy work after their perceived 'failed attempt' at protecting Lord Uzumi.
"Well, you should hang out with me more often, that'll make you popular," she joked with a little scoff. It won't. But she still tries to humor her. And it was a subtle attempt to recruit Murasaki to her side.
The crowd behind them naturally watched on with curiosity, but none of them approaches.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki still doesn't know how to feel about all this. She's honestly a little hurt at the insinuation that she needs to hang out with Marian to get any reputation back. This woman was an enigma. What did she think she was going to accomplish by attacking Murasaki during the Mobile Suit test? What did she have to gain? There were so many questions going around in Murasaki's head and she just wanted to scream for answers, but she knew there were too many people around.
"Look, I'm not...I don't know whats going on, okay? I just need...I just need to figure out...what happened."
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
Marian sighed and takes another sip. Her legs started moving, and soon she passes by Murasaki, getting eerily close to her. But she doesn't stop. She just kept on walking, as if inviting her to follow without saying a word. The glare she's getting from the crowd is also getting to her. It's an odd pairing to their eyes, no doubt. So she decided a change of scenery is required so they don't get interrupted.
The sky is getting darker. While the sun still hasn't fully set, the lamps flicker on and buzzes, just ever so slightly. The path is lit up as Marian walks, and Murasaki's, if she follows.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki watches as Marian walks past. Unfortunately, her path is the same one she needs to take to go home. Great. Well, no choice then.
She follows Marian, keeping her distance until Marian decides to stop.
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
Soon enough, Marian stopped. They're still on the path back to the main building, but it's empty right now. Most of the soldiers on base is likely at the party, or on-duty at their stations.
"I'll cut to the chase then," she turns and faces Murasaki. Her expression a serious one. "Come work for me, Murasaki. I can do better than what High Command have done for you."
She looks on into her eyes. Her body still and firm. An expression in body language to inform her that she's not joking. It would be a terrible joke. Almost treasonous, if one were to bypass the military command entirely. But it seems to be Marian's modus operandi ever since she's returned to duty.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki stops, and listens to Marian. Work for her? Doing what, exactly? She's heard she has Cagalli's attention. And with everything going on, all the powers that be working against Murasaki, it's almost tempting. But she needs to know more.
"Work for you? Doing what, exactly?"
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
It was then Marian's eyes narrowed and the corner of her lips curled up. A wry smile in response to getting Murasaki's attention.
"Anything you want. Within reason, of course," she now takes another sip. The can is almost empty now.
"I want you to understand we're on the same side." Another sip, which she has to tilt her head back to get at the final portions of the beer.
Her tongue laps at her lips, wetting it as the light shines on them. The sky is fully dark now.
"I can give you what you want to protect Orb your own way. If that's what you want."
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Were they on the same side?
If so, Marian had an incredibly weird way of showing it. And it was one thing to promise Murasaki anything she wanted. But if that was so, she found it hard to believe that Marian could promise an independent Orb, one following the ideals it stood for, one not bowing to the whims of the Seirans. Murasaki could feel the storm brewing, and how it was only going to be a matter of time before they made their move.
"What are you planning?"
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
"To keep Orb safe and protected as Lord Uzumi did. Away from the hands of those who wishes to harm it," she replies. "Seirans. ...and present company included."
She's still wary that Murasaki would do something dangerous. She found out she's unquestionably loyal to the Athhas and Cagalli during the test, but the same can't be said for the rest of the noble families.
"I know you're not that naive, Murasaki. I'm sure you've thought abou- well, let's say hypothetically, if the Seiran heir died from an 'accident,' it'll stop the marriage and stop the Seirans from taking over, hmm?" She asks pointedly. It's certainly something Marian has thought about ever since she started working behind the scenes. But since then she realized politics doesn't work that way. Not everything can be stopped by a simple bullet to the head. She have to stop someone she know is a variable that could bring about disastrous results to Orb if not kept in check.
"It's not that simple, Murasaki. Yuna's death wouldn't solve anything. The Seirans could use that excuse to start a war. 'Oh, how could Lady Cagalli allow the heir of the Seirans to be assassinated? She's not fit to be our leader if she can't protect us!' You know, things like that," she waves her hands dismissively as she acts out what she thinks the nobles would say in a mocking tone.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki looked down at her by now cold burger. Marian was right. Murasaki had contemplated it, but she knew that would just make everything worse and cement her as a villain in the annuls of Orb history. But she still thinks Murasaki is a threat. Why?
"Why do you think I'm a threat to Orb? I've fought multiple times for this country, I've given everything, I don't want to hurt Orb, this is my home, okay? I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't trust anywhere else."
She walked closer to Marian. "You keep trying to poke me and prod me and I don't know why. If you want me to help you, you have an awful way of doing recruitment, okay? Agitating me into fighting you and then beating me on the face isn't a way to build my loyalty."
She was close now, as close as she had allowed herself to get. "If you want my help, I'll consider it. But I want one thing clear, before anything else: If I think you're going to go too far, I'll leave. I'm not your obedient lap dog, I'm not a tool for you to get rid of at your inconvenience, I will not be your pawn. Is that clear?"
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
Marian frowned, her hands now rapidly work to unbutton her shirt before pulling it apart aggressively. The rolled up sleeves are still on as the rest of the shirt hang under shoulders.
"So have I!" She bared her numerous scars at Murasaki. "Orb is everything I have left! I can't even have kids anymore! It's all I ever-" She stopped suddenly. Her eyes watering as she sniffles with a hand coming up to rub at her nose.
And with a deep breath, she continues, "I'm trying to help. I know how much it hurts to have all that hatred inside of you with nowhere to go. It eats up at you, like a toxic." She allowed herself to be open and vulnerable. A rare moment she's not been afforded, and avoided at all cost since she became the 'Hero of Orb'.
"I don't want you to be my obedient lap dog. I just want to give you what you needed, for Orb," she continues with her bravado dropped. Her expression is the softest Murasaki has ever seen her. "...if you can't hate me like I wanted you to, then I just want you to direct that energy elsewhere."
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Murasaki blushes a bit as she watches Marian strip her top. Things were starting to go from 5 to 2000 and she was a bit flustered.
But then she listened to Marian's plea. She really, really wasn't certain what to make of it. Was Marian trying to manipulate her feelings? Play to her emotions and sympathy? Murasaki didn't want to be cynical but in the aftermath of the assassination, she saw through too many facades of false sympathy...But then she listened to the pain Marian was expressing, and she could certainly understand that, where it was coming from. But the last line really hit her.
Murasaki walked even closer, a more familiar distance from Marian. "Why did you want me to hate you?"
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
"Because I've failed, just like you. I've lost everyone who was the closest thing to a family I had. I lost my chance to have an actual family," she clutches where her womb would be."I hated myself! Disgusted, loathed, despised at how utterly powerless I was! I wanted to die! It's all I've ever thought about, day in, day out, ever since I woke up... I wanted someone else to hate... Someone else but myself..."
Her arms hang low, and bent over to pick up the can she unknowingly dropped when she unbuttoned her shirt.
"I just thought- thought it could help you. To have someone else to hate," she says, but she's not looking at Murasaki directly. Her eyes look elsewhere, not dishonestly, but as if she's embarrassed she was wrong that she thought her method of coping would work for Murasaki.
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
The confession is...difficult for Murasaki to take in. This is why she goaded Murasaki to get so aggressive during the test? This was why she just started beating on Murasaki afterwards? Why she kept goading her? Agitating her?
"Marian...I have plenty of people to hate, I really do...I don't need more, especially not you." Her words are sympathetic, but she's clearly very uncomfortable with the idea of such a coping mechanism.
"I don't think the solution to that kind of problem is directing your hate towards someone else...if anything that's what keeps the entire Earth Sphere burning."
<Pose Tracker> Marian Cross has posed.
She shakes her head, unwilling to internalize that. The fact of the matter is, as far as she's concerned, if she's had someone to confide in, someone to hate, then she wouldn't be so miserable even to this day. Even now, she's only getting by by continuing to work, trying to not think about the scars she's bearing and what they entailed. "Fine then, you don't have to hate me."
"I'll give you what you need. You want to be back by Cagalli's side? I can arrange it. You want a better machine, I'll let Morgenroete know. You want to be promoted to shut those old farts up? I can pull the strings."
The parted shirt comes back together as Marian starts buttoning it back up. And then she starts walking pass Murasaki and back to the party. "As long as you don't bring harm to Orb. Do whatever you want."
Her back is facing Murasaki as she steps away. She wipes her face, sniffling for one last time, and as if putting on a mask again, she yelled out, "we still got hotdogs and wings!"
<Pose Tracker> Murasaki El-Amari has posed.
Deep down, Murasaki knew that everything Marian promised probably was true. If the two wanted to protect Orb, joining forces was the best thing. Murasaki needed allies, and resources she could provide to Terminal were also her best bet. But Marian clearly had a lot of pain, and the idea of wanting someone to just hate you...that still didn't sit right with her. Would that pain and desire for someone to hurt her lead the both of them down a bad path? Murasaki finally munched on her cold burger.
Maybe going back down for some wings wouldn't hurt.