2024-06-24: .it takes two to tangO
- Log: .it takes two to tangO
- Cast: Yuliana Kafim, Elisa Kafim
- Where: The Silent Castle, Kaffeklubben Island
- Date: 2024-06-24
- Summary: Elisa leads Yuliana on another dance, and through her wordless honesty sees that there is more she must compel her to say. But Elisa has been leading their dance for a long time -- so even when she rewards Yuliana's painful truths with her own, Yuliana reaffirms her devotion instead of turning away. Yuliana finally manages to request Elisa strip the tracking chip from her bracelet... but she's still grasped tightly. (CW: Coercive control)
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
OST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-7ZpVlTYOI June Valli - Strange Sensation
"El~yul~aaa~," came the siren's song, lilting invitation, "won't you dance with me~?"
And of course she would.
When Yuliana drops her heavy cloak onto a coat-hook at the side of the dancing hall, she is draped in a green dress, tight about her bust and arms and split down the middle of her legs to create a flowing skirt. The back of her dress is open, and her tentacles snake out from her lower spine, each adorned with their own trailing cloth.
She sets her hand on Elisa's arm, feels Elisa's hand on her side, and tangles her fingers in hers. As the tango beat sets in, her leg flies up to curl at Elisa's back, before it comes down between her legs, and she lets herself be twirled by their hands up high.
"You really are a wonderful dancer," Yuliana sighs, as she sinks into her wife, her back arching in and her arm arching out. "How lucky that you've always known...!"
Is it luck -- that Elisa has always been able to tango with her wife like this?
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Of course she would.
Elisa is in green, too--a sweeping green gown, though her back is not open. The height of her heels only emphasizes the length of her body, as she leads Yuliana through the dance. The tango beat sets in, and Elisa twirls Yuliana and then leads her with steady steps up, up, up the way--
She smiles. "I have a wonderful partner," she demurs to her dancing, "How could I show anything less?"
How lucky, indeed. But it was not luck. It was foresight. It was skill. It is--
"This way..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Oh, Elya!" Yuliana sighs, as she turns, sinking her weight into her wife's grasp as her arms arc up, before they fall back to her sides, vulnerable to Elisa's fingers grasping them.
She steps forward, and feels her wife at her back as she does, her knee sinking deep towards the dance floor. But she doesn't fall, though for a moment she might seem she could escape, her arm stretching out as she starts to move away, anchored by Elisa's hand.
But she is anchored -- and she moves back, arms up with hurried little steps, until her fingers weave between Elisa's again and her hand comes to rest on her arm anew.
She once told Elisa that dancing was a very honest type of communication. There were things people could say with their movement they simply couldn't with their lips. If that's so, then...
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"Yes," Elisa answers Yuliana, when she says her name. She has no intention of allowing her to escape, of course--no intention of having her dream that she would wish escape. Such a thing...
Such a thing she's headed off by now, hasn't she?
Those hurried steps prompt a wide, slim smile from Elisa.
She continues to lead her in the dance, up and down, from here to there, a spin--
Yuliana certainly believes that to be true. And perhaps it is. Elisa is 'honest' in her movements that she feels close to Yuliana, and wishes to stay that way...
But there are things she could say with her lips that she does not.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
In the dance, Yuliana's heart reveals what her mind can't cope with recognising -- the conflict she feels, the push and pull, the ambiguity. It's not something she could dream of wishing for, and yet her breath hitches in her throat, as she pulls away from her wife for that one, precious moment.
And yet she hurries backwards, back into Elisa's arms, and step, step, step -- the tango is not a slow dance, though there are certainly moments of stillness, moments of tension. She twirls, and grasps at her wife so that she may kick her leg up behind her back, managing to stretch it out quite long despite Elisa's artificial height advantage.
"I missed you so much," Yuliana sighs, her lashes a veil as she looks down to their next step.
A step Elisa decides -- because she didn't even ask whether her wife wanted to lead, this time.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa is an expert at this: dancing, yes, but the specific and intentional use of her body. She is an athlete; she is a Queen among athletes, an Olympian in her youth, and now that her body is a suggestion to the world, she is even stronger in this arena than she once was.
So it is that she can focus on Yuliana. She can notice in those moments of tension the way that Yuliana's breath hitches--that she has to say that she missed her.
No, Elisa feels that distance.
"And I you," Elisa says.
That veil... Elisa would push through it, if she could.
Elisa decides the next step. And the one after that.
"To be away so long... I know that you didn't want it."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
And Yuliana, with all her passion for dancing, is a hobbyist; if anything, her wife outmatches her, here. She loves to dance, but she has never won gold for the limberness of her legs or the execution of her movement.
She is Elisa's Queen Consort; she is not the Queen Regnant, here.
They both are Queen. And yet...
As Yuliana is spun, her gaze settles on Elisa, instead, and her lashes can offer her no quarter now. She finds that she steps backwards, as Elisa leads their steps, and she must trust her to take them to safety. Her heart flutters in her chest, with her quickened breath.
"I didn't want it," she repeats her, as she moves her foot backward, to arc against -- into -- Elisa's movements. "I was just confused... I thought it bothered you. I let them say such awful things..."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Queen, and Queen, but one is first. One is here more. One lurks in the depths.
It is her way, much like her maker's...
Elisa smiles at Yuliana, taking them through step after step into something like a lack of danger. That quickened breath widens her smile.
Elisa's heart continues slow, THUMP two three four THUMP two three four. Her breath comes only when she speaks.
"Taking what you require from them would never bother me," she says, answering a different statement than the one that was given her. It's fine. "Such beings as they will say as they wish. ...It is in their nature. To misunderstand greatness, to fail to understand the mighty..."
"I care more for your thoughts than theirs, my love."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Yuliana is really just the tip of the iceberg, for all the world dreads her.
Beneath her -- behind her -- there's...
Her heart is quicker than her wife's; her breath more frequent. And when Elisa answers a different question, her mind is swift to adjust, to assure her that was the worry she voiced. They don't understand, Elisa says, and Yuliana believes her.
She sinks down, in her wife's embrace, her leg sweeping long against the floor. Without Elisa holding her up, she would surely tumble, at such a daring angle; surely sprain something, or worse. Instead she is able to rise again, into her wife's arms, fingers tangled with hers as she grasps her for support.
Her wife, who cares for her thoughts...
There's a kind of anxiety carried through her quick steps, an unspoken tension in the way her leg kicks out only to curl about her wife. But what Yuliana says is freely volunteered, if given between her staccato breaths. "I was afraid," she says, looking still to her wife. "I felt like you didn't want me to work on what I was, when I was there. That you didn't approve, it bothered me. I felt like -- those people could accept me. They wanted to help me... I thought maybe I could make peace with the world, with their help."
The tension in her movements rises to her brow, a little more present in her confession, as she admits: "Elya -- I never wanted to be enemy to all the Earth Sphere. I know I'm a brutal woman," as she confessed to the inquisitor, during that fight, "but I wished to save the world. I think... you don't like that part of me!" She exclaims, finally, as her back arches, sinking into a backwards dip.
She trembles; she is in Elisa's hands, and she is all too aware of that, as her mind catches up with her voice.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa.
Elisa supports Yuliana; she will not let her fall, will not let her out of her arms. Until Yuliana says something freely volunteered, freely given. What she wanted...
Elisa pauses the dance, but does not remove her hands from her wife. She holds her, still, hears that admission, and it is fine, to talk of a different kind of honesty.
She considers, for a moment, eliding the entire thing. But...
No, perhaps this is just the way. She continues the dance, picking up at the next downbeat.
"That is not so," Elisa says gently, "Though there is some truth in the rest."
"... At first, I wanted to 'evolve' humanity, but it was ultimately only part of what I wished. But your compassion has won through. Because it is what you want, I have accepted it, and I have come to enjoy our work assisting the weak, making them strong. ...My new allies, Teodor and Ingvar--I would not have them, if not for your work, and thus the change in my attitudes."
"...It makes no difference to me if the world is my ally or my enemy, in truth. I do not care for most mortals. I do not care for their petty battles, their desires." A dip, "...But because you do, I have come to be a part of this world. I have come, if not to embrace it, then to at least begin to accept it."
"...Yes, those people care for you. Yes, they could 'help' you. And it is true that I prefer the 'you' who is free, unbound by 'scruples', who expresses herself most fully, at her most vibrant."
"...But this world will never accept you. Individuals may. Your friends at the League may. But NUNE will not. They would have you answer for what they call crimes."
She lifts the hand that was on Yuliana's waist, and rights her, reaching up to touch her face.
"If what you wish is to save this world, then that is what we shall do. If what you want is to leave in peace, there are other worlds in this universe; we could seek them."
"...But even if we find peace in this universe... It is borrowed, unless we can contend with the Empress. She will not forgive me for taking you."
"It is difficult," she admits. "I love your fire. Your recklessness distresses me. But they are ultimately the same; I cannot dislike the one when I love the other, as troublesome as I find it. So I shall try to keep you safe, whatever you choose."
She comes to a stop. "...You are what matters to me, Yuliana. This world I will steward, if you wish it. But for you. That is my 'truth'. I wish only you, and all of you. And while you continue to give yourself to me as we swore, I shall make your dreams come true."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
There is some truth, Elisa says, and Yuliana receives it, moving as her wife moves her, with her wife's movements. Just as Elisa accepted her love for the world, so too does Yuliana accept Elisa's pressure, stepping quickly and without error.
She recognises that they could help her... but...
Yuliana rises from that dip with her wife's aid, and when her fingers touch her face, she leans her cheek into it. She sweeps her leg, low, turning in a circle around her wife, as if the entire universe revolved around her.
(Hers, certainly.)
Elisa doesn't like... no, she just prefers it when her wife is free and unbound and expressive. And her pupilless eyes are expressive, widening as her lips part over her teeth, a pained grimace as she remembers the executioner's noose.
And even if they could find peace... they'll always be in danger.
They come to a stop, and Yuliana draws closer to her wife, looking up to her with those pained eyes. If she pulled away... she knows, hearing this, that it would destroy her wife. (Would the world survive, either?) She can't do that -- to the woman she loves, to the woman who saved her, to the woman who centres her above everything else.
"I'm yours," she promises herself again, voice hushed. "I could only be yours, zhenushka. You are the most loyal, the most lovely, the most limitless... I'm ashamed I held such awful thoughts inside my heart. I shouldn't have listened to them... I shouldn't have taken what I did. I always knew you were different to other women, but I loved that about you... you were dangerous, but never to me. It's so compelling... being special to someone like you. And it's so intoxicating... not having to worry about the consequences... just wreaking havoc. It is satisfying," she says, though she feels uncertain enough about whether she should be satisfied that she insists, "I have to admit that."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
There is much that revolves around Elisa, but Yuliana is her binary star, and they shall dance together forever. Until time ends. Until they finally sweep into one another and collapse into a perfect point...
Or maybe not. Yuliana 'could' choose otherwise. Elisa has offered. Surely, the pressure she's laid in the past does not ensure that the decision is already made.
Elisa sees the pain in Yuliana's eyes, and she watches her. She cannot wince in compassion, but she puts on a sad expression at her pain all the same.
Would the world survive? Best not to find out, yes?
"My darling Yuliana..." If there is relief on Elisa's expression, perhaps it is genuine. Perhaps it is one of the few emotions she knows yet.
"What did you take?" she asks, incisive but quiet.
"Yes," she says. "It is satisfying, isn't it? But if you wish to destroy with one hand and give mercy with the other, I shall not stop you. We have our Callers; we have our family." Separate, but both present.
"...But I hope that you will favor me with the delight of watching you in battle sometimes, glorious and free."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
The illusion of choice is more powerful than the real thing, when it's been properly prepared. Could Yuliana have pulled away, even if she'd found the strength?
There are a lot of things which are better not found out.
Yuliana feels such guilt, seeing that relief, and it is plain in the flush on her face and the knit of her brow. She made her wife worry, she thinks, and it is on the heels of that shame that Elisa asks her question. She worries about it, and it leaves her with no space to defend against Elisa's conclusion.
"Of course," she promises, toes lifting up to let her press her forehead to her wife's. "Thank you. Yes, I love to fight... please watch me, zhenushka. I'll show you a glorious battle..." And then her gaze drops down, as her feet lower back down to the floor. "... and... I asked them to give me a phone," she admits, quietly. "I'll show you..."
She looks to her cloak, but she doesn't dare to pull away from Elisa to go and fetch it.
She couldn't do that to her wife.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Indeed. Some things... should remain mysteries.
Elisa does not have to try very hard to inspire that guilt; using 'sincere' emotion is sufficient. And it is as sincere as her emotions ever are--as sincere an expression as she can remember to give.
Elisa is not a normal, mortal woman.
But for now she smiles, forehead pressed to forehead. "Thank you," she says. "Be compassionate as you wish. But that is what I like to see."
A pause. A phone...
She is thoughtful, her expression growing distant. "So, they wished a method of communication to which I have no access, yes?"
A nod. "That is well. I trust you, Yuliana. Feel free to use it. I will not tamper with it, and I will ask Parminder to respect your privacy."
"After all, 'freedom' is important to humans, isn't it? Even my darling."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
That it is sincere, and given with such effort, only makes it more painful. Yuliana hurt her wife, and even as she struggles to appreciate the pain of others, she knows she should care for her wife's feelings.
Even so -- Elisa grants her leave to be compassionate, though she prefers the brutal side of her wife. "You're so generous, zhenushka," Yuliana murmurs. "I love you."
And when Elisa's expression grows distant, anxiety clutches Yuliana's heart; she reaches up, to cup a hand at her cheek, silently pleading with her to return. "Yeah," she admits, her frill wilting. That's what... they wanted.
Though Yuliana was raw enough to admit she asked for it -- it must have been them.
Her smile is fragile in its relief, when Elisa decides she still trusts her. "Oh, Elya," she says, and finds herself tearing up from the weight of the emotion. "Oh...! I just wanted to appease them, really, but -- but I don't even know why I'd hide it... you've always been considerate, Elya," she sings her praises, as she rests her cheek against her shoulder, sinking into her, weighed down by all her relief.
It must be relief. What else would she feel?
"Really," she adds, nosing her face in against her wife's neck. "When I actually told you I knew about my bracelet, you offered to neutralise the chip... and of course you're fine with me having a phone to myself...! You were perfectly willing to let me go out into the world without checking back in so often, as soon as I told you I was bothered... really, it makes the most sense that you wouldn't even monitor my purchases, you've always respected my freedom. You always have." Never mind that she has to bring it up to Elisa for these things to change; it's as if the story changes, mid-telling, to reflect better on her wife.
"If anything," Yuliana sighs, "I've exerted more control over you, haven't I...? But I'm grateful you appreciate my feelings about the world, zhenushka, even if they're not native to you. I'm lucky to have a wife who loves me so much..."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
Elisa was hurt. It's terrible, to hurt someone with such feelings. Isn't it?
"I love you too," Elisa says in return, intoning it seriously, almost warmly.
That fragile smile will do. Elisa would not want Yuliana to veer away happily, after all. Even so, "They were concerned. They do not understand our bond. I will not hold that against them, because they are your friends."
Of course Elisa did all of those things. ...It's also true that she doesn't need the chip to find Yuliana any longer, thanks to her greater meditations on the Void. But that is not important, here.
"Well, once you made clear how important it was to you... of course I would respect such a thing."
A smile. "I do not mind such control, my darling. Exert as you will. So long as we are together, I shall look forward." A pause. "...Yes. They are not native to me, but perhaps I shall find a few more of them, as I learn this world. I do not hate the Earth, nor the Earth Sphere. They brought me to you."
"...And there are things in them I have come to enjoy, as well."
"We are both lucky," she says, "To have one another. ...Yes. All will be well..."
All. Elisa will see to that.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Intoned like a magic spell... if not for the love behind it.
But what is love, if not a spell cast over lovers? A spell without magic circle or blood dripping down; a spell cast from deeper sacrifice. Love is a spell more powerful still than the mental control Elisa can exert over the isolated, self-sustaining and ever-present.
They say it is better to be feared than loved -- but greater still is being feared and loved.
Because they are her friends, Elisa won't hold it against them, after all.
Only so long... as Yuliana favours them.
"They couldn't understand," Yuliana agrees, quietly. "But they are my friends, Elya... it's kind of you to let them be, for me."
Of course Elisa would respect it...
Of course the strength in her heart is nurtured by Elisa.
"I value your feelings," she says, nosing at the feathering at her wife's ear. (That same feathering which informs Elisa of her wife's health and emotional condition, even now her connection to the Void is more fraught.) "Even if you married into them, zhenushka. And I so want you to enjoy yourself..."
Her eyes flutter shut, as she repeats, "All will be well," and her heart beats quickly in her chest. She is not yet calm, and that must mean...
Yuliana rests quietly against her wife, though, for a few moments. Elisa has seeded strength in her heart, but still she must rally it. ... there's something she wasn't quite able to come out and ask, when she returned home.
"Ah... Elya..." Finally, her voice returns to her. "... would it... really be okay? If you... if you took the chip out, I mean. And... and the spell. I don't want to lose such a precious gift, but... would it be okay?"
She asks as if it's an imposition, because she doesn't realise Elisa doesn't need it, any more.
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I do like to enjoy myself," Elisa says, and it would be a non-statement from anyone else. From Elisa, it is a realization that could be important.
Elisa is quiet, as Yuliana gathers her strength. She waits--and then she smiles, which Yuliana may feel though she cannot see it from this angle now, so nestled against her.
"I will do so tonight," Elisa says, without immediately answering whether it's okay. She lets that hang a moment before, "It is not a problem."
Elisa looks into the distance, past Yuliana.
"It is not a problem at all."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"And I like it," Yuliana encourages her wife, "when you enjoy yourself. Seeing you happy brings me happiness, too." She doesn't stop to worry about what she might be encouraging her wife to embrace -- what might bring Elisa joy; it matters, to Yuliana, that Elisa is able to step into her own as her own being. She likes seeing her wife smile -- and laugh.
She can't see Elisa smile when she finally musters the strength to speak, though she can still tell. Her wife so loves her, she would assure her of her action at once... why, then, is Yuliana tense, in those moments after she speaks?
It's only when Elisa assures her it's not a problem that she relaxes, sinking into her, sighing against her neck. "Thank you, zhenushka," she murmurs, warmly, to her beloved wife. She looks at nothing but her, nestled in this close. "I didn't wish to spurn your concern... I know you were just worried for me. But it was a little disturbing... since I wasn't able to ask you about it." As if the whole problem was that she hadn't spoken to her wife about her concerns -- and not the tracking device. "A little..."
More than a little.
"But you trust me," she echoes her words back to her, another of their love languages. "You trust me, so it's okay if I have a little privacy. I wouldn't leave you, Elya..."
<Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
"I am pleased that this is so," Elisa says. She may smile, and laugh, and find merriment sooner than later.
How? Don't worry about it.
That tension is an adequate price for the stress Yuliana has put Elisa through. But Elisa is still considering the matter of her own enjoyment, too. This encouragement... Well. She can meditate on that. First:
"Of course," she says. "I worry often. But I know that you will return to me, when you must go. I shall trust in your machinery and my magic that infuses it, to keep you safe."
A pause. Disturbing...
"Well, I shall try to disturb you less, my darling."
"...I know that you won't. Thank you, my Yuliana."
She knows. She requires it.