2023-12-10: Final Cascade
- Log: Final Cascade
- Cast: Alma Stirner, Yuliana Kafim
- Where: Alma's Apartment, Fujinomiya
- Date: 2023-12-10
- Summary: Two of Yuliana's victims visit each other. They talk about their hobbies, and the places where they live -- but the conversation soon turns to where they came from, and the scientists who hurt them. But Cascade can't forgive one of the victims, either -- because after a year of Yuliana's abuse, she can't believe she is a victim. She shares with Alma her plans to change her name and go on the warpath against all those people who hurt them, including Yuliana herself. Unlike Alma, she's a spiteful person... though she still supports Alma's desires to settle down.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma Stirner has been convalescing for... a while. While she was never quite as incapable of her own choices as, say, Taisiya, building back the capacity to be her own person has taken a long, long time. For some time, she'd been living at a medical facility in Fujinomiya; after a couple months' observation, she'd been doing well enough to live on her own in an apartment nearby.
(That had required a loan at first; it turns out that not everywhere has caught up with science crime-related service-connected disabilities at the same rate. About a month in, a social worker suggested contacting the Republic of Zeon veterans' office rather than trying to go through the OCU; while it ended up bounced back through Londo Bell anyway, that did lead to some adjustments to her records that made it a lot easier. ... It turns out the Federation is more willing to pin this type of thing on long-term effects of the Flanagan Institute than on even a burned REA lab.)
Alma looks out the window, watching a brief winter snowfall; right now, she's waiting for water to come up to temperature for hot chocolate. She's dressed very casually, in a Londo Bell workout shirt and matching shorts. ... Some days she isn't up to sorting out her wardrobe, still, and it's not like today was a 'going out' day anyway.
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Cascade Wattana, meanwhile, has been recovering at Le Refuge Garde -- which is a Southern France hospital, but they're allowed leave, by this point. And they've taken a weekend to go and visit a friend in Fujinomiya, because, against all odds, they have made a few friends along the way.
Well -- today, she has; Cascade's having a femme day, as evidenced by the ribbon in her blue hair and the flowery skirt. (Not all skirts are women's skirts, but this skirt is a women's skirt.) She even has a nice little Venus-symbol pin at her lapel to clue people in; one of the nurses gave her a set, Venus, Mercury, and Mars, when she got frustrated about how to express her gender on the ward. This also means it clips over her clothing, instead of being a push-pin affair.
... being at hospital so long means she hasn't had to worry about housing, and maybe that's a mercy.
But on the second day, she has an evil plan, and she excuses herself from her friend -- to go track down another address. She looks down at her phone, as she follows the directions; it's pretty obvious she's approaching. (And it's not like she doesn't stick out -- there aren't that many Thai people, out here.)
Up to the door, and... knock, knock, knock.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma hasn't made a secret of where she's living at all; despite the fact that it's a risk, it's not a risk that she considers particularly worth covering. There are lots of ways to find someone in the Earth Sphere, and...
... well, making herself difficult to find would put some obstacles in front of things she considers important.
The knock at the door startles her, but she sounds more like herself than she has in a while in responding to it; she calls, "Aaaa, hold on!!" before throwing a blanket over her shoulders and making her way toward the door. (She doesn't want to get blasted with mid-winter chill upon opening it.)
She opens the door, and her gaze meets Cascade's; she gives them a small, awkward smile, trying to figure out where to begin. One hand reflexively comes up to the back of her head, and she starts with the basics:
"Ahaha... hi. It's been a little while, huh?" Sometimes you just have to start there and see where things go. "C'mon in. Do you want hot chocolate?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"It's-- it's okay!" Cascade calls back, through the door, perhaps a shade dumbfounded. She smiles back, when the door opens, but it's a little awkward on her face too.
It's kind of hard not to be, considering how they met.
"Hi, I, uh --" Cascade starts, and she might have been about to launch into an explanation for why she's here, except Alma's already inviting her in. "Sure." The relief is basically palpable, rolling off her, as she steps inside. "... thanks. Pretty fuckin' cold out there, heh..."
She sheds her jacket -- and makes sure to transfer her pin from its lapel to her blouse -- by the door; if there's a place to hang it, she hangs it, but she doesn't mind just carrying it either.
"Nice place," she says, as she heads in. "I'm still in hospital... they let me out on leave by now, though. Apparently they got all the edicts out my head, so I don't gotta worry about getting called back these days. So I guess I'll get gone as soon as I figure myself out... you find it hard to get a place?"
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Some things come back easier than others. Alma's always been accommodating, and even after her first trip through the science crime wringer, she remained someone who genuinely enjoys the company of others; if anything, that element of her gets more pronounced each time.
"Ahaha, yeah... December's December no matter where you go," Alma says -- and then pauses for a second, brow furrowing. "... Well, as long as you're on most colonies or the northern part of Earth." There's a lot of places where December is really more of a July type of beat.
Alma notices the pin transfer, and gives Cascade a small nod. "Hey, that's a pretty good idea," she says, with a small smile.
They end up at practicals, though, and Alma moves to the kitchen to check on the water. It's just about boiling, so she pulls down some mugs. As she prepares the chocolate, she thinks of what to say about Cascade's own progress. "... That's good. I can do a lot of my daily stuff, but I'm still not cleared for some things." She doesn't sound like she wants to go into detail. "I'm glad you're improving, though!"
As to whether it's been hard to find a place... "Eeeh... not really. The Photon Power Labs helped get everything squared away here... I'm going to have to move again soon, though. I'm thinking of either moving back to Side 3 or up to Londenion... the PLANTs might be on the table, too, actually."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Thanks! Got it from one of the nurses -- Carine Caron, dunno if you ever heard of her." Alma probably doesn't have reason to know many French nurses, but stranger things have happened. "Couldn't wear my ribbons on the ward, so my whole shtick was ruined... this works pretty well, though."
Cascade takes a seat, and nods, when Alma talks about her own progress. "Good for you," she says, and doesn't pry into just what she's not cleared for. She'll say it if she says it. "... looks like you're doing pretty good, too. Nice work."
She taps a finger on the table, as she considers Alma's eeeeh. "Damn," she remarks, eloquently. "I was thinking of going up to Magallanica, actually... like, Callisto really helped us out back then, so I guess I'd still feel safer in their territory."
With a frown, "Though... I might wanna stay closer to Earth."
And if there are stormclouds over that statement, it might just be a trick of the light.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Caron, Caron..." Alma's brow furrows for a few seconds. She does know a lot of people, but... "Okay, no, never met her. And yeah, that makes sense." Alma nods, finishing with the chocolate. "Do you want anything in yours? Milk, extra sugar..." There's a pause, before Alma adds, "I hear some people put alcohol in hot chocolate, but... ehehe, don't have any."
With an awkward smile, she loops back around to the question of whether she's doing good. "Some days are better than others. It helps if I don't do much, but too many of those in a row and I get kinda weird..." She waves it off, saying, "Anyway -- Magallanica, huh? I can see that being a good pick!"
She considers inquiring about staying closer to Earth, but thinks better of it in the end. Instead, she continues, "If you need a hand getting situated, let me know! It might be good for me to have a few days out in a row..." An awkward addition comes a moment later: "... I've been trying to find a hobby but it hasn't really worked out, hahaha..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Extra sugar? Sure," Cascade shrugs, after a moment's deliberation. It can't hurt. And she shakes her head, and adds: "I can drink booze again, now I'm off the meds they had me on, but... not my favourite."
And perhaps Alma can see, in one way -- the vendetta in her heart. She hasn't given up on the idea of fighting, all this time. Who she's fighting...
Don't worry about it.
Cascade has to laugh, though. "Seriously? I meet you face to face for the first time in fucking forever and the first thing you do is offer to help me move?! C'mon!" That usually involves a lot more bribery. "And hobbies, like... beats me," she adds, with a shrug. "I'm into fashion, but I don't know you'd call that a hobby. More, like -- got damn sick just telling people my pronouns every day, so I had to figure out how to differentiate myself." Necessity is the mother of invention, apparently.
"Been getting into writing, too..." She adds, and doesn't get into why.
"I dunno," she shrugs, leaning back in her chair. "Half the stuff people suggest to me, it just reminds me of my shit-ass life. Sick of walking on eggshells around myself... but what can you do? Ugh, how about... stamps. Don't reckon no one did any fucked up lab experiments with stamps. Let's go collect stamps."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma nods, getting the sugar from one of the cabinets and adding a fairly substantial helping; after a little thought, she adds some to her own chocolate, too. She's got a sweet tooth.
Alma laughs when Cascade does, and says, "I like you! And, uh, I still kind of feel weird about how I was when I was..." She gestures vaguely, settling for, "her attache," eventually. It's a bit of a bring-down -- but she doesn't linger there. She knows that if she loops around it it'll get worse rather than better. "I'm still kinda figuring out how I want to dress after everything..." She does remember Elisa being particular about makeup and having clothing preferences as far as Alma was concerned -- and playing around that sticks with her, a bit.
"But... yeah, I get you. I used to bake a lot, but now it kinda feels weird... I don't think it's 'never do it' weird but, I dunno. Stamps sound easy, at least! I can even keep an eye out for cool stuff, if you want." She thinks a little about her own options. "Maybe I'll pick up a children's card game or something," she says, laughing at herself.
The topic of hobbies is safe -- but having already brought their pasts into the equation, Alma can't quite let things go unsaid. "... most of my specialists have said that lingering on this kinda thing makes it worse and not better, but -- sorry. For everything, when I was you guys's attache. I know it's not my fault, but you still didn't deserve that kinda treatment..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
Cascade shrugs. "Don't worry about it," she says. "We -- weren't ourselves." Was she ever herself, growing up the way she did? ... don't worry about it. "... well, the feeling's mutual, anyway."
Which is more than she can say for the rest of the team. Good fucking riddance.
"You'll figure it out," she says, of clothing. "It's hard to fuck it up irrevocably, anyway, so long as you remember not to go streaking. Hell, go to parts of the AEU, and not even then."
She nods, when Alma talks about her worries with baking. "Yeah. Fucked up... give yourself time, I guess. And don't knock children's card games," she adds, with a beat of a pause. She even smiles. "You would not believe how good I've gotten at Uno since I went to a real hospital."
(As opposed to a torture factory.)
But Alma circles back to it, and Cascade shakes her head, lifting a hand, palm-up. "Seriously, man, it's cool," she says, and means it. "You're the last person I'd blame for that shit. You were going through your own shit... there's only one person I wouldn't excuse, under that kind of strain."
She shakes her head, and folds her arms. "... that ain't you."
The silence beats, one, two, three. "But if you ever want to talk to the others," she adds, quietly, "I found 'em. Alexsey Melnik and Brassy Cachet... we weren't the first people that woman chewed up and spit out in her team. Goes right back to '94..." She snorts, through her nose. "And who knows how many, before she got her own command? Fuck." Her anger rolls off her, with the tapping of her fingers against the table, one, two, three.
"... still hard to believe it's bigger than that," she adds, bitterly. "There's nothing wrong with you... but some people are just evil."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Told not to worry about it -- and then more firmly that it's cool -- Alma seems like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders; it's not a terribly large weight, but it is a weight, and it is indeed lifted. "Hahahaha... I'm glad to hear you say that. I was worried about you before I got... transferred."
She doesn't want to belabor it. If she'd have acted sooner, things could have ended up different -- but even now, she's not really sure exactly when Yuliana got her claws into her. It's something she's been discouraged from trying to pin down to a day or a week.
"I think... not right now, but maybe a little further on?" Alma says. "I'll bring it up again when I'm feeling up for it. It's not that I don't wanna see them, but I don't really want to let that become, like, my whole life?" Finally finishing with hot chocolate prep, she presents Cascade with one extra-sweet hot chocolate and affirms, looping back, "Maybe once I get really good at children's card games."
She spends a long time thinking, settling in on the couch with her hot chocolate. Eventually, she offers: "... Is it really that simple? I never wanted to think of anyone as just evil... Humanity all shares in the same light. I don't want the part of me that feels that way to change, even if it sounds kinda childish..."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I'm a survivor," Cascade assures her, simply. It's a rougher story than that, but that doesn't matter, now.
And she nods, when Alma defers meeting with some of the other survivors. "Sure," she says, easily enough. "But you better commit to that plural sound. If I show up three months from now and you're only playing one children's card game, I'm gonna have words. Fuck words." Oh no!! Those are bad words!!!
She sips the hot chocolate, and takes a moment to say: "... shit, though, this is real good." Sip, sip... it's still a bit too hot to gulp.
That gives Alma time to collect her thoughts, anyway.
"Heh... nah, that's just the way you are," she smiles, briefly, shaking her head. "There's nothing wrong with that. Probably better'n being made of spite and hatred, to be honest. ... but that's the way I am, too. Guess that's how I got through it... and I can't go betraying that person by not getting the bastards now I can." She sighs, looking down at her hot chocolate, with the little peppery patterns the sugar's made. "It'll probably take me a while... but I never gave up on it. Just... too bad that Devil-woman's already dead."
... and maybe it's no wonder Cascade reached out to Callisto, hearing logic like that.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Oh no! Now I have to commit," Alma groans, though it's clearly good-natured; she doesn't want to be miserable forever, after all, and she really does need to pick up a few more hobbies -- things that don't constantly call back to a past that she can't really recapture.
The compliment to the hot chocolate gets a big smile, though! "Ehehehe... I did a lot of field prep for hot drinks during the war. Coffee, hot chocolate, you name it!" Alma explains -- and that memory remains fond. "Aaah, that was kind of nice..." She sips at her own chocolate, and listens.
Nodding to her fellow femme, Alma affirms, "I think it's okay to try to close things up for yourself. Just -- make sure to protect yourself, too, okay?" Even if Alma isn't, herself, a particularly vengeful person... her long time with Lilith did help her understand how that kind of person lives. "I hope you make it past this, one way or another. ... ggghh, Devi was horrible. I try not to wish anything horrible on people, but..."
Her eyes turn down. "... it is kinda hard not to, sometimes."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Oh noooooooo," Cascade drawls, as if it's the most tragic thing in the world. (It is not.)
And even Cascade grins, when Alma lights up about her hot chocolate work. "Good skill. Transferrable. You'll be the star of the office, I bet." Beat, "... if you wanna go work in an office, I mean. You might wanna go back on the field? That's cool, too." It's another one of those awkward little check-and-balances; seems both their lives are full of them.
She frowns, sipping at her hot chocolate. "Someone like that... I get how she'd make monsters. Sometimes I even look at this kid on my ward, got out with us, and... it's lucky Prima got out when she did. Put her out on the field a few years, and she'd end up just like her... Devi was fucking systematic." In multiple senses of the word, even.
"They got me on hire to figure out how to make soldiers who resisted that anti-Newtype shit, so I was only there for a year or so... before then, it was Dr. Song ruining my life. Still gotta track her down..." Cascade reminds herself, consciously, not to break Alma's very nice mug and spill hot liquid all over herself. She has to be mindful of her strength, like that, sometimes. "... but I'm glad I wasn't a long-hauler under Devi, I guess. That woman grew devils under her... she was something else. Heard she was a Titan, under it all -- and I believe it."
Stormclouds.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
The idea of working as an office lady... hadn't occurred to Alma. "Aren't I a little old for that? Usually by mid-thirties you're supposed to marry out of that kinda job," Alma points out. "... then again, maybe I still pass for 26!" She at least does not have the delusion that she isn't recognizably a little Christmas cake-y.
The question does get a serious thought, though. "... I'm looking at pilot training, which is mostly office work unless things go really wrong. Maybe even something civilian or semi-civilian," she answers, and it neither seems nor feels like she's lying. "I heard a rumor from someone who was on the Gwennangorn -- uh, Lt. Madococen, this really nice guy who grew up on Side 6? Anyway, he was saying he had the inside line on a mobile worker training partnership between Side 6 and the PLANTs. I might go for that."
As they dig deeper into Devi, Alma's expression turns serious -- then a little nervous. "A Titan? That's... yeah, it wouldn't surprise me!" she answers. She gets a feeling in her gut though, and asks:
"... Is that the kinda thing you want to stay closer to Earth for? Hunting down, like, ex-Titans and EXAM Institute guys...?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Patriarchial garbage," Cascade waves a hand, as if to dismiss the idea of aging out of office work. "There's no age limit on the office. Didn't that ever seem weird to you? Like, it's office work. Fuckin' a, you're not gonna wear your back out carrying folders and shit. If anything, you oughta age into office work!"
She taps at her mug, though, as she considers Alma's thoughts. "Training? Yeah, I can see you doing well there. Never met a friend you can't make, huh? Probably put the greenhorns at ease real easy..." Considering some of the instructors out there, Cascade thinks she'd be a boon.
But Alma has a question for her, and Cascade laughs, without much humour to it. "Heh... you got me. That's half of it. The Federation hid all this shit, and I want a piece of their hides, soon as I figure out how to carve it. But... it's only half."
She scowls, looking down to her mug again. "The other half... is destroying her. Yuliana," she puts a name to her, finally, with no less loathing behind it. "That fucking devil... even if Devi did grow her in a lab, I won't forgive her!" Her voice raises, but only briefly, before she settles back down.
"... sorry," she mutters, glancing away.
"Though... I'm thinking of changing my name, before I embark on anything like that. Thinking... Concentric," she ventures, for the first time. "It's spiteful... but so am I."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"Huh. I never thought about it, but I guess that's kinda true," Alma reflects, canting her head. She takes another long drink of cocoa, agreeing, "I guess you're right!" It takes a few moments for Alma to really process it, before she goes, "Ohhhh, it's like that because -- oh." She blinks once, then again -- and then decides that doesn't need more digging.
Once Cascade says her piece, Alma nods to her. "I... don't know if I think chasing down revenge is healthy, but I don't think it's always a bad thing either. I'm not going to tell you how to run your life. If that's what you want to do, then..." She laughs, rubbing at the back of her head. "Just make sure that whatever you do, it's something you'll be okay with. In the end, you're the person who has to answer to yourself." Realizing she can still say that kind of thing and mean it... that, too, feels good. Maybe she's doing better than she thinks she is some days.
"You're fine," Alma says, waving a hand. "Concentric, huh... that's not bad. Just... make sure you think it's a name you're willing to stick with after there's no one left to spite, or be ready to change it."
Scooting toward Cascade a bit, she adds, "I'm really glad you stopped by. It's nice to be able to talk about this with someone who actually knew her, who... knows what it was like."
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"Yeah," Cascade confirms, and doesn't dig into it.
It's not like she's a family person, anyway.
"Maybe it's not..." Cascade sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "... but I don't trust the way she's laundering her image, these days. Especially with that shit at the North Pole... I don't buy that she's just some victim, either." And if she's being unfair about that -- no one could fault her for her viciousness.
Put her transfer another way, and she dealt with that abuse for an entire year.
"She owes us all a pound of flesh, and I intend to collect." She breathes out, looks to Alma, and adds: "... I won't forget the shit she pulled with you, either. You didn't deserve that... no one does, but I can't believe it was you."
Burying her face in her mug, she mutters, around it: "You're really a good person... shit." Mutter, mutter, glug, glug... "... glad you like it," she adds, looking over the lip of the mug. "Maybe I'll trade it out for something else once I'm done... but it's nice to make my mission clear, you know?"
She shakes her head, and reaches out, her hand towards Alma's. "No problem," she says. "I shoulda come earlier, shouldn't I...? But... maybe it would've been too early, then. Not that people didn't think it was too early to come here after what Dr. Hell pulled, but... I'm glad I did. Meant I thought to stop by..."
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
"I mean... maybe she is, but that doesn't mean I have to forgive her. I don't want to -- spend my life chasing her down, or anything like that, but... I don't want to see her again," Alma answers, though this part she seems shakier on, less certain than her usual. "I appreciate it," she adds, at the mention of not forgetting what happened to her.
"And, like -- honestly, this might sound crazy, but a lot of the stuff I did with the Silent Calling I don't really regret?" Saying it stings... but saying it out loud makes her feel less crazy for thinking about it. "... Maybe the Newtype outreach. That part I think could actually end up pretty bad. Jeez -- you know, I should call some of those people, too. But, like... a lot of it really was just the kind of work that needs to get done and the Federation hasn't been interested in doing as long as I've been alive. I just worry about..."
She sighs, and lets it go. "... don't really have the words for it yet, ahahaha... Never mind." Accepting the offered hand, Alma agrees, "Yeah -- I don't think I could've handled this this well until... a few weeks ago at the earliest." She smiles, saying, "You're always welcome. I'll try to get you my new address after I move, okay?"
<Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
"I don't think anyone should forgive her," Cascade grumbles. "She sure doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Don't worry, I'm the last person who'd tell her where you're at, now." That woman isn't going to see Alma if Cascade has anything to say about it.
"But it's fine to find value in it," she shrugs. "I think it's a fucking Trojan chocobo, but it's not like I was boots on the ground for any of it, either. But, uh -- I'll see if I can find the people they're wrapping up in their net, get you their numbers," Cascade adds, with her own concerned frown. "I've been trying to keep tabs on it, but it's kinda hard where I'm at... and it's all pretty underground. Wild how they manage to keep them all secret when they're, like -- the most public fucking institution as far as making statements about us goes."
With a derisive snort, "Newtypism. Fucking unbelievable."
If anyone was going to not give the Silent Calling a chance...
"But... it's okay. I'm worried, too. I'm keeping an eye on it, all right?"
She squeezes her hand, and finds a smile for her amidst her vast inventory of frowns. "Cool. And, hey, if you need help, give me a call, all right? The docs are pretty good about giving me unaccompanied leave at this point. For now, you wanna go take a walk and track down some children's card games?"
God forbid she get her out of the house.
<Pose Tracker> Alma Stirner has posed.
Alma takes a few seconds to process -- and then concludes that she probably can't parse out the full extent of her thoughts on the Silent Calling here and now. That's therapy time, probably -- better to leave it for now and just accept that it's probably more complicated than she thinks it is, even now. "... If you hear anything, let me know," is what she settles for.
The offer of help gets a slightly less melancholy, "Sure! I could definitely use a few more people to call -- not that everyone hasn't been really great, but..." She shakes a head.
And then Cascade suggests getting her out of the house. For a second or two, Alma seems caught off guard... but she recovers, nodding. "Uh -- let me put on something a little less 'lounge around the house,' and then sure," she says, finishing her cocoa and then getting up -- well, to go do just that.