2022-02-06: Skipping Stones
- Log: 2022-02-6: Skipping Stones
- Cast: Renais Cardiff, Kaworu Nagisa
- Where: Tsutsujidai Ward, Nouvelle Tokyo
- OOC - IC Date: February 6, 0096
- Summary: Two enemies meet on neutral ground, and have a mostly-amicable talk about their friends, and their fears.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Peace.
It's in short supply in the Earth Sphere. It always has been. For all the miracles mankind has created, that's the one that they've never managed.
A stone skips across the surface of Tsutsujidai's reservoir. One, two, three, four, five, six. Splash.
Renais picks up another flat stone, turning it over a few times in her golden hand, sitting at the water's edge.
An end to pain, an end to cruelty and war. She wonders, maybe if they could work that miracle... she wouldn't have to do any of this.
She knows that's not true. There's more to it than just her personal feelings. But she can still wish for a miracle, even while she works to stop them.
Even this hidden escape of hers isn't free of it, it seems--it's barely hidden, anymore, and certainly not peaceful. But for now, today, there's peace. It's the closest thing she has to a sanctuary, a place where she doesn't have to think about her duty.
With a rapid flick of her hand, she tosses the stone. One, two, three, four, five. Splash.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
As long as Lilim are individuals, they will have different ways of thinking, different ways of viewing the world, different ways of solving problems. Those differences will often cause them to come into conflict. There are ways to make everlasting peace happen. It always comes with a great cost, though--one too high to pay. Either the peace of the grave, or the peace of uniformity... Kaworu's brought about both. One is unspeakably lonely; the other, someone dear to him rejected. It's why he can be the way he is now. He's ascertained, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what is most important to him.
For him, then, the question is now whether he can bring about the miracle that is making it happen. Either way, it puts him at ends with Triple Zero in general and Renais and specific. But both of them know that. Both of them have made their own peace with it. And because of that, they can enjoy a mote of peace in this place, even if the truce Renais made wasn't with Kaworu.
So, when the youth steps into Tsutsujidai--not-there one moment, there atop the sluice gate the next--and gazes over the town, his eyes stop below at her, skipping rocks across the reservoir. He hops off the edge of the sluice gate and lands light on his feet after a languid, slow-motion fall. From there, he strolls along the shore until he reaches her. He makes no attempt to mask his presence or his approach. Unless Renais is *really* lost inside her own head, she'll notice him long before he comes to a stop nearby her.
"Hey," he greets, his usual friendly smile in place. "What are you doing?"
He of course can see for himself that Renais is skipping stones. What he really means is 'why'--why she's doing that, out here all on her lonesome, well away from any of the actual residents of Tsutsujidai, real or created. It may not be any of his business, and indeed his own business here lies elsewhere, but he can't help but be curious.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais hears his footsteps first, and tenses. Her guard is never fully down. She relaxes again upon seeing Kaworu, though... not quite fully. It's understandable--this may be neutral ground for them, but she's seen him from across the battle lines, now, in a unit with a disturbing resemblance to that... *thing*.
"Skipping stones," comes her neutral reply. She doesn't answer his real question; and yet, she does, whether or not she intends it to. People milling about ship corridors, busy with their presumably ruinous plans. Too many people. Too much noise.
She glances down beside her at a small pile of skipping-stones. She gathers up about half of them, then lets them slip through her fingers to make a pile closer to Kaworu. The cyborg looks up at him. "What about you?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
It's true. Kaworu--well, he isn't the type to hold grudges in general. But this in particular, he doesn't hold against her. Neutral ground doesn't change their respective circumstances, especially since, as she's already mentally noted, they've met on the battlefield now. It's easier to see someone as an enemy after you've actually fought them.
Out loud, Renais answers tersely, and only the question on its face. However, her feelings continue to bleed through. Kaworu watches her for a moment, those overwhelmed feelings nibbling at the edges of his perceptions. When she says nothing further, he nods. "I see."
It's a bit more of a surprise when she makes her silent invitation by splitting her stack of stones and creating a second pile closer to him. It's touching. He was smiling anyway, but his eyes soften.
"I came to talk to Shinjo-san. One of her creations attacked Nouvelle Tokyo, and was rather indiscreet about it," he replies, kneeling down to pick up one of those stones. "It's had the opposite effect of what I imagine she wanted--that is, it's brought *more* attention to this place."
He gauges the surface of the water as he turns the stone over in his palm, thumb searching its surface as for life; then he tosses it forward like he'd just seen Renais do. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip... Eventually gravity asserts itself, as it inevitably always does, but until then, it gets quite far. There's a quiet, subtle delight in Kaworu's smile as he watches it go, clear to Renais if she's watching him. When at last the stone sinks, he looks down at her.
"That was actually quite satisfying," he remarks. "Do you do this sort of thing often?"
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
"Mm. When I was a child," Renais nods. "... not much lately." There's a mirthless little smirk on her lips for a moment. Doing it now brings back happier memories, though perhaps not strong enough to be vivid for Kaworu. The nostalgia of walking by the pond at an urban park, her mother always close by, helping her select just the right stones.
It hits a little differently, now... but it's still a good feeling.
"I could only ever get a couple of skips back then." She turns over a stone in her metal hand, winding back across her chest and tossing it with properly superhuman force.
It skips twelve times before plunging under the water with a muted, distant 'sploosh'.
She chuckles. "... almost feels like cheating."
"Anti, right?" asks Ren, looking up at Kaworu. She sighs. "I saw some of that... had a feeling he might. For an auto-intelligence kaiju, the kid's not very bright." She picks up another stone.
"A weapon made to think... guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he thinks like a weapon. It's the sort of conclusion you'd expect from a sword, right? You find out the trains are the way in... so you cut the link, problem solved."
When all you are is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
'Back then.' What achingly lonely words, like the cry of a cicada as it betters off in the summer night air. Kaworu watches her for a moment, smile fading; then he watches her pitch, sees how far the stone reaches.
Her talk of maybe-cheating gets a chuckle out of him too, though. "But only almost?" he suggests.
It seems like Renais already knows what he's talking about--both about the one who was using the Death Knight, and about what specifically he is. This isn't surprising; Renais offered her services to Akane, and Akane accepted. It's only rational that she'd be informed about the matter. Kaworu considers asking her about BioNet giving Anti that Death Knight, but discards the thought almost as soon as it comes to him. It would be better to ask Akane about it directly, especially since that's what he came here to do in the first place.
"Do you think so?" Kaworu wonders, of Anti not being very smart. "It's true the decision he made was rash and poorly thought-out. But he must be very young, too. If you were watching that battle, you must have seen the way he battled. He improved by the second. His tactical prowess will likely continue to improve, too." He kneels down, resting his hands across his knees. "...Whether Shinjo-san will be satisfied with that or not is another matter. I certainly can't imagine she's pleased with the results as they are now."
He gazes out at the reservoir. Despite the stones they've cast into it, the ripples have smoothed out, leaving behind a placid calm. "You're right about a weapon thinking like a weapon, though," he adds. "What about you? How would you have handled it?"
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais shrugs a little. "Well... it's not really cheating if it's within your capabilities." She narrows her eyes, peering out across the lake. She adjusts her position slightly, winds up, and...
The stone skims close to the surface, its leading edge angled up. It hits the surface--
And sinks unceremoniously.
"..."
Then she laughs. It's subdued, quiet, and short, but it's definitely a laugh. With actual honest-to-God amusement.
"What that *should've* done is skip off and arc," she explains with a smile. "I was trying to show off... anyway, cheating or not, I'd probably end up disqualified from competitive stone-skipping."
Is that a thing? She's really not sure.
Ren looks up at Kaworu. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that he's about three weeks old, and it doesn't look like he was really... primed with much. Except 'Kill Gridman'. He's learning, but... I don't think problem-solving's his strong suit yet."
She thinks silently for a few moments about the question. "... Well, first off, the trains wouldn't solve the problem. I think there's at least one way in here somewhere in space, probably in PLANT territory... and maybe another somewhere on Earth, or at least in Federation space."
"But either way, to take care of the trains... that's a hard one. If Anti'd succeeded with *his* plan, I'd give it about a week, tops, before they got at least one of the lines into Fujiyokidai back up. Still--that'd buy time to figure shit out, right? So... I could bomb the supports. If we're worried about lives, I'd plant bombs, call in the threats, wait for them to lock down the lines, then blow them. Every line going in and out all at once. And since we're already doing Kerib's job, maybe I'd get the old man to help close it up."
There's a hint of frustration and resentment as she brings up the 'old man'--her father, it's plain enough for Kaworu to see.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Seeing the stone hit the water's surface and sink instead of skip and arc, Kaworu laughs with her. He sees the humor in botching an action that should be easy. "Probably so," he agrees, smiling back. "A competition is meaningless if the separation in ability is so great that no one can challenge you."
The solution, then, is to run a competition between those of equally advanced ability... but Kaworu doesn't think like that. He's too used to being alone at the top, and he's not a competitive spirit besides. When he picks up a stone and tosses it across the reservoir's surface, it's solely for the pleasure of the throw.
"That said," he adds once it sinks, "if you want to try showing off again, I'd be pleased to watch."
Three weeks old... Yes, that's about what Kaworu had figured. He nods once, understanding Renais's meaning better now that she explains it. "Agreed."
Trains wouldn't solve the problem. Very true. Although Kaworu lets himself in at the sluice gate, there are several points in space through which one can enter Tsutsujidai. Still, he watches her and listens as she explains her personal process. His expression turns contemplative--but it's not because of her methods. Or rather, it is, but...
"Strange," he comments. "For you to say 'if we're worried about lives,' I mean. Don't you intend to end them sooner or later as a Herald of the Dawn? Even if you're concerned about how Shinjo-san feels about it, wouldn't it be irrelevant as long as you can seal her world back up?"
While that sticks out to him first and foremost, though, there's also the matter of her father. (Already doing Kerib's job... that's a discordant note in Kaworu's thoughts too, but he sets that aside for now.) "Do you think he *would* help you?" he wonders.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais nods, and picks up another stone. She looks contemplatively at it. This, at least, she has in common with others--pain and trauma are common to many, and superhuman capability only somewhat less so.
It'd be nice if it were that easy, she thinks. She's made friends--paradoxically, more now than when she considered herself an ally of Earth. But, all but one of the people she's found a bond with are relationships hanging upon a tenuous thread. One she'll have to cut, sooner or later, even if she doesn't want to admit it.
The cyborg assumes the same seated stance as before, taking more care with her hand... and she tosses.
It skims... and with a spraying splash forward, it skips off the water, sailing up along a shallow arc. When it drops into the water, it's reached nearly as far as her high-powered 12-skip stone earlier!
"There. Better." She smiles.
"You're right, it's irrelevant to me. But it's not irrelevant to her, I think... or to you, for that matter." It is, perhaps, not the full story. But the topic of her father comes up before she can dwell on it much.
There's a bitter undercurrent as she speaks. "He might. I'm not sure... he's pretty deep into about this whole thing, honestly. The practical, physics-based side of it." She shakes her head. "He'd probably either insist this place needs to go now, or start hyperfocusing on the dimensional-space bullshit going on here. 50/50, really."
It's typical of him, she thinks. All about mechanics, all about numbers and metal. He never had time for much else. An empty seat at the dinner table. Christmas mornings and birthdays with cards and gifts, but not him.
Waking up from the darkest period of her life, alone in a hospital bed, with a copy of M-Color Q on the bedside table.
"I dunno. Probably a bad idea."
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Without a word, Renais launches another stone, and achieves a throw comparable to the one she made earlier. Kaworu hums in appreciation, finally smiling at her when the stone fully submerges into the water. "Much better," he agrees."
As for the matter of watching out for lives, Kaworu had anticipated that Renais's response would be dissonant from her stated mission--but he hadn't anticipated that she'd include him in that too. He gives her a thoughtful, assessing look. "It isn't," he agrees. "Are you saying that how she and I feel about it is more important to you than your mission?"
The matter of her father, and the way she describes him, both now and when they first met... Kaworu's expression turns pensive. "It's a shame that we must stand at odds with one another. I think you would find many people in NERV whose life experiences mirror your own," he muses.
She reminds him a bit of Shinji in that way. He doesn't say as much, though, considering how appalling Shinji would find the idea, given how violently he reacted to the mere sight of her. She *did* almost kill him... may have even exposed him to Triple Zero energy, something that's been worrying him. Worrying Kaworu, too. His eyes lid at the thought... and at the memory of the battle against the J-Ark.
"It seems as though many of you have different ideas on how to go about fulfilling your oath," he remarks. "Although your hearts seemed as one when we fought near Lagrange 4..."
For a moment, he falls silent. A warm breeze rustles the grass nearby; creates faint ripples on the reservoir's surface. When it stills, he regards Renais with a somber, even *grave* look. "...Do you also feel that way? That you are what is wrong with the world?"
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais looks over at Kaworu, lifting an eyebrow. There's absolutely some conflict going on in her mind--the necessity of causing pain to end pain. Perhaps a bit of wishing she didn't have to do what she feels she must do.
"No. It's partly for argument's sake, because... hm. I respect you, monseur Nagisa." She smiles a little. "And her, of course. And derailing--even directly bombing--a train is a shit way of killing people, besides. Too many unknowns, too easy to make mistakes and end up with a bunch of maimed or hurt." Bringing death is a kindness, in her mind--but leaving people living with pain, even if they'll eventually face the same fate, is its own cruelty.
She nods, lightly. "We're Braves," she says, self-assured. "I don't think it's something a lot of people would believe, but... we're still the same people we were. And... especially the old Galaxy Guard members, they've got the same spirit they always have. The same miracles, just..."
"Turned toward a better purpose." She's proud. Bitter at the loss of Guy, eternally pissed with her father, but proud.
She declines to comment on J's general reluctance to join in that cooperative spirit. She thinks about the battle--drifting a bit, her mind latches ont the shock, the horror she felt at the sight of Unit-01 tearing off its mouthplate, baring a maw that must have been roaring in the silence of space, pounding on the bridge. Trying to get to her. It was looking at her. "That purple thing..."
Kaworu asks a question.
"Yes," she answers simply, pushing down those thoughts as she holds up her left hand. Her sleeve falls back to bare the G-Stone on her wrist. It keens, flashing with the 'G' emblem inside. "You're NERV, right? You must know on some level what this is capable of." But that's not what he means. She knows.
"..." She drops her hand down again, hiding the G-Stone. "I don't know. Maybe." In her darker moments, she's sure she'd say yes. That she's a weapon, and if the world was just--if the world deserved to exist--things like her wouldn't. That regardless of who Renais Cardiff once was, what she became is a monument to humanity's sins, of the suffering and pain that needs to end. Akane Shinjo has paged Renais Cardiff and Kaworu Nagisa with, 'may i peek' Kaworu Nagisa has paged Renais Cardiff and Akane Shinjo with, 'okay by me if it's okay by renais!' You paged Kaworu Nagisa and Akane Shinjo 'Of course!' Akane_Shinjo teleports in.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
When Renais voices her respect, Kaworu's eyes widen slightly--before he breaks into a new smile. "Oh? Ahaha, I'm honored. For what it's worth, I agree; if your aim is *merciful* death, then it's worthwhile to pick and choose when and how you bring it about."
A better purpose. Kaworu won't argue with her about that, or whether she really is the same as she always was, or the sense of bringing about miracles to end miracles. It would be meaningless to try. Either she's wrong or she isn't, and regardless, Kaworu will stand against her and the rest of Triple Zero. If nothing else, they definitely still are Braves--for good or ill.
But then she brings up something else. "Purple thing?" Kaworu echoes. It's not hard to guess what she might be thinking of, though, considering he was also present for that battle. Rather than confirm that, he thus asks, "What about her?"
...It doesn't quite occur to him that she might have been *afraid* of Unit 01.
For now, though, Renais raises her hand, showing off the glimmer of her G-Stone. He lowers his gaze to it, then raises it to meet hers, both in silence. No need to confirm what she already knows, either. When she admits she's not sure, though... his gaze shifts subtly. Sympathy, maybe, or sadness. He lowers himself to sit on the edge of the shore and gazes out at the water.
"'The shore.' That's what my name, Nagisa, means," he says quietly. "The water's edge, where it meets the land; the place where two different worlds meet. It was the name given to me by those who brought about my birth." He smiles faintly; there is no joy in it. "It suits one of my nature well. I was born of two worlds, yet belong to neither."
He leans forward, dipping his fingertips in the water while his feet remain on the ground. "'You are what's wrong with this world'... Yes. I've felt that way. From a certain perspective, it's objective fact, even." (He doesn't seem to see any irony in describing something as both objective and a matter of perspective. But then, he *is* functionally admitting he believes he'd be better off dead.) "Yet even if that's so, I've nonetheless been born. I am here. It would be foolish to waste the chance I've been given."
Droplets dip from his fingertips as he raises his hand; he turns it around, palm-up, and they trickle down into it. "All that lives must one day die. I understand that well, Cardiff-san," he murmurs, watching them. "Yet these lives that scatter the face of the Earth like drops of rain... They're so small. So fragile. And so very, very precious." He regards her. An ocean of sentiment ebbs and flows in his eyes. "I want to believe in the hope they strive for as they struggle to the end. I want to let them decide what that end will be on their *own* terms."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais nods empathetically to Kaworu as he explains. One of those perspectives is probably hers--though it's not a particularly helpful one for the discussion. They've established how she feels about intelligent life. "Shame we didn't meet five years ago," she replies quietly. He would have been much younger than her, but... somehow, she suspects he'd have been much the same. "You might have helped me, then."
Perhaps it doesn't matter, now. The dawn she works toward is also a twilight, just as much for her as for anyone else. She's broken in a useful way, at least--better to use that than try to fix something that'll simply be lost in short order.
'What about her?' Kaworu asks, casually. She tenses. That discomfort, that... fear, rises a bit higher in her.
"What about her? You-- you saw what it--what she was doing. What IS it? Why does it have that fucking MOUTH? Why does--" She stops, and sighs, a mix of anger, revulsion and fear coming to the forefront of her psyche. If she were in the Reine Noire, if she were faced with it now, she'd deal with this by fighting it. She'd lash out. Destroy it. It shouldn't *be*. Surely the beast can be killed.
But here, now... she thinks about those featureless white eyes, and the gaping abyss of the Evangelion's maw. In her mind's eye, it's deeper than the infinity of space behind it, and it pounds at the bridge to get at her.
"Merde," she mutters, bringing her hand to her forehead.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
A shame they hadn't met five years ago... Yes. A shame indeed. Kaworu nods in rueful agreement. Even so, he continues to smile. As if in consolation, he says, "Perhaps next time, we'll have a chance to meet sooner."
Whatever that means.
Either way, it's not a topic that will last long. Just as Kaworu hadn't argued with Renais about her mission, so too she doesn't argue with him about his hope or faith. It's kind of her that she doesn't, he thinks. Renais is generally speaking a kind person. It truly is a shame they hadn't met sooner. For now, though, her tension ratches up.
"Hm?" Kaworu tilts his head downward a bit as Renais expresses her horror, her *revulsion* at the Evangelion. It's not a sentiment unfamiliar to him, so he isn't fazed by it. It is a little odd coming from a Herald of the Dawn, in his opinion, but she *did* say they were the same people, simply with a new perspective. Perhaps it would be more useful to continue to think of them in that way, too.
"She's an Evangelion. Evangelions are just like that," he explains (thoroughly unhelpfully, though that's not his intent). "Although Unit 01 is a bit more... expressive, than most." He pauses, watching her expression. She seems thoroughly unsettled. "Was she that frightening to you? There were other Evangelions on the battlefield. I was in one myself," he points out.
Another pause. Then, carefully, watching her closely, he adds, "Her pilot is a dear friend of mine."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Renais looks with mild confusion at Kaworu. 'Next time'?
She doesn't ask--there are more important things on her mind.
"What--what the fuck are they?" she asks. "And why is..." She lets out a sigh. It's shuddering, slightly. She has a lot of questions, and can't seem to figure out which one to ask. She rubs her forehead. "... so that was your friend in there. Was he the one trying to get in at me? Did it go out of control? Why w-- why would you deploy a unit that just *does that*?"
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
Renais doesn't ask, so Kaworu doesn't answer.
...He wouldn't have explained himself even if she had, though. So it's just as well.
Kaworu's smile turns rueful at her questions. "The details of an Evangelion's make are considered organizational secrets," he replies, tone apologetic. "Their pilots can on occasion lose control of them, but they're effective weapons against their intended foes. This is why the Lilim continue to use them."
He picks up a stone and studies its smooth sides. "I, too, once wondered why the Lilim would use even that which they fear and despise in the name of survival. I don't think I can give you a satisfactory answer. I have a different perspective on the matter." Kaworu pulls his hand back, flicks his wrist forward, and sends the stone flying. He watches it go with interest.
"As for my friend, you almost killed him that day when you descended to Earth in pursuit of Guy Shishioh. He fears you much as you fear him," he remarks thoughtfully. "The display of aggression to which you bore witness was no doubt a translation of that fear. I would recommend you not take it personally, but it ultimately is quite personal, isn't it? For both you and for him."
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
Of course. It makes more sense, now--it only does so much to assuage her, but...
"So it's... a sort of alive." If not in the traditional sense, in the same sense as a Super-AI, but... animalistic.
Bit of an unpleasant way to auto-balance a mobile weapon, she finds.
She's trying to keep her voice calm and even. Trying to keep the lid on. It's working, mostly, but the turmoil under the surface is plain enough to Kaworu. Her breathing is quicker than normal, and Kaworu can feel a measurable increase in temperature by this point.
"... and he's scared. I see." She smiles a little, a nervous sort of smile, nodding. "It's... yeah, I'd say that's pretty personal. Understandable, too."
She wants to apologize, but she's not sure that would help. His friend's reaction is maybe the most understandable she can think of, given the situation, and it's not like she's going to do things *differently*, regardless. People will still die. They have to. And they're going to be scared.
But it's still a shitty situation, for both of them.
And she's just given away actionable intelligence to the enemy. Her heart sinks--there's a bit of shame, there. Of displaying weakness, showing fear.
"Ugh. Shit... fuck." She sweeps up the rest of her stones and hurls them into the lake. "FUCK!" Her voice echoes over the water, startling nearby birds into flight. Fear is giving way to frustration, to anger. She fumes silently.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"An Evangelion responds to the will of its pilot. Without a pilot, it normally will not move, much like any other mobile suit," Kaworu replies. This is all he says about Evas being a 'sort of' alive. She's not wrong, but it would be best not to let her realize how not-wrong she actually is.
But... she truly is afraid. He looks over at her. It's not necessary--he can feel her tension, hear her quickened breathing, but some things are best seen directly. She seems to understand Shinji's fear, too. That's good. Kaworu isn't going to bother to ask her not to hurt him--there's no point in making a request she can't honor--but it seems, at least, like she understands. If it means she (and ideally, the rest of Triple Zero) will give Shinji a wide berth, then he could ask for nothing more.
Ironically, he hadn't thought of her fearing Unit 01, or really *any* Evangelion, as actionable intelligence. Not until Renais so fully loses her composure that she hurls all her stones into the lake and screams out her frustration.
"Why are you upset?" he wonders, as conversationally as if he'd asked her why she's wearing red as opposed to blue today. Whether Renais answers that or not, though, the fact that she *is* upset is striking. The fact that she's *this* upset over specifically Evangelions now does stand out. If it affected her this badly... did it also affect her comrades? Something to consider.
Though at this point, the conversation will probably not last much longer.
<Pose Tracker> Renais Cardiff has posed.
The outburst wasn't just from her fear--it was just as much frustration *about* her fear. She flops onto her back, coats undone, watching the scattered clouds of Tsutsujidai's summer in January drift across the sky. "...Because I shouldn't be scared," she says flatly.
It's not her place to be scared. A weapon shouldn't know fear. Fear gets in the way of the things she has to do--the things she knows she *must* do... J isn't afraid. She's not sure he's ever known fear in his life. So why is she?
The rational answer is, of course, 'he does, but he doesn't show it'. But right this moment, she's anything but. So, a sense of inadequacy starts to shade the roiling emotions. The thought that she might not be good enough. And so it goes, spiralling from there. She doesn't move.
<Pose Tracker> Kaworu Nagisa has posed.
"Hmmm..." Kaworu considers this, and her, for a moment. He doesn't argue the matter. He doesn't try to comfort her. He doesn't offer an alternative perspective. This is, after all, a matter on which they are very much enemies. Anything he might say on the topic would ring hollow at best and fake at worst.
So he lays down on the grass next to her, arms folded under his head. As the clouds drift by overhead, he hums a calm, peaceful melody. He'll keep it up until whatever time Renais decides to take her leave. Until then, he'll relax to the sound of Pachelbel's Canon in D. If she relaxes too, even a little, won't that be a wonderful bonus?