2023-01-26: Junk Food

• Log: 2023-01-26- Junk Food
• Cast: Akane Shinjo, Gridman
• Where: GGG Orbit Base
• OOC - IC Date: 0097-01-26
• Summary: After a few days of quiet, Akane Shinjo and Gridman eat cake and talk about all that's transpired between them.

---

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

There's been a lot of people who needed to talk to Akane over the course of the last couple of days; after Tsutsujidai's ordeal, it's been important to make sure she lands safely and feels like she's making progress. On top of that, she's been sleeping... a lot; 12-13 hours of sleep per day makes it a little difficult to catch up with someone, it turns out.

She really oughtn't put it off any longer, though. She wants to see Gridman, and she's finally said as much. Using her words. To Gridman! ... after she gets more sleep.

A VERTEX message arrives saying, simply,

> I still... want to talk to Gridman.
> Is that even possible?
> I'll be in the Orbit Base gym... I need to get used to leaving my room, even if it's a different room.

So here she is, in Orbit Base's gym, just like she said. They've been nice enough to wash and dry her usual school uniform shirt and skirt, but she's wearing what she borrowed from Hana today -- a pink vest, black tank top, and black skirt. Her midriff is a little bit exposed, and her arms are very exposed, but -- well, she can deal.

Right now she's sitting next to the treadmill, mumbling, "Ohhhh my god I'm so out of shape," under her breath. Being able to be visibly winded sucks, actually.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Initially, Gridman wanted to accompany Akane to the Orbit Base, hoping to ease any fears she might have of Alexis returning to harm her. But, when his presence itself causes her fear... The idea was put aside. It's enough for him to know that she's safe, and to put his trust in their allies.

Which is why, when Akane's messages arrive, he's dumbfounded. Blinking at them (once, then twice), he holds up the phone to the nearest of his comrades.

"Huh?" Borr squints. "She actually texted you! Damn, I owe Calibur some money. I say go for it. And take Calibur with you, I don't want to see his smug face."

---

Dressed in his most stylish clothing (this is a special occasion), and carrying a box of two slices of Aya's chocolate cake, Gridman waits outside the door.

"Do we knock?" He asks Calibur, anxiously.

"N--no." The samurai answers, then holds the door open. "She's waiting."

The decision made for him, Gridman quickly walks into the room. There she is. A thrill of anxiety goes through his heart, remembering the last time they met, but. It's different now. Both of them have changed.

"Akane Shinjo." Gridman murmurs to himself.

Approaching, he tries out his best, most practiced smile. What do you say in a moment like this? After a few moments of awkward silence, Gridman's feet have brought him before Akane. Staring at her, he slowly kneels down, placing the cake package on his lap.

"...have you eaten?"

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

The cake is a bit of a surprise -- and a pleasant one. Akane starts to move to get up, but her legs are so sore and she definitely needs another minute; still a little short of breath, she says, "J-just a second," before Gridman ultimately approaches and kneels down.

The cake is a surprise, and not a bad one; it reminds her a lot of her first interaction with the Yuta Hibiki that was Gridman, in a way that... ultimately doesn't feel bad. She straightens out her borrowed vest awkwardly, saying, "Not dessert. Jeez, it's a weird thing to get hungry, right?" She laughs a little, admitting, "I wasn't expecting you to be bringing dessert, though..."

Something's changed in Yuta's voice -- that much is obvious to Akane. Her first conclusion, though, is -- "It's okay if you're mad at me. To be honest, I'm kind of surprised you came. I'd probably be afraid of me, after what I did to you. I can tell... it's hard to miss in your voice."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Calibur follows slowly after Gridman, nodding to Akane. He lingers there, in a friendly sort of way. Hands in his pockets, slouched over. Really, he could say any number of things, but in the end, he simply gives Akane a rare smile and wanders off, giving the two some privacy.

"Getting hungry is so weird." Gridman says, with a smile. His voice is... almost entirely human-sounding, now, but there's still a metallic echo to it. And, of course, those yellow eyes. "When I first experienced it, I was concerned I'd damaged myself somehow."

Gridman places the cake between them, unwrapping the package. Disposable plates and utensils are waiting within, and he carefully arranges Akane's cake, then his own. "This is almost like a picnic." He says, smiling. "Cake isn't the healthiest choice, but I thought you'd be getting enough of that here. Let's indulge a little."

Akane speaks up, and Gridman looks to her in alarm, eyes wide. "No, no, it isn't that! This is going to be a bit of a long story. I promise, I'm not afraid of you. You're my friend. I have complete faith in you."

"To be honest," Gridman takes a breath, lifting his cake into his lap. He takes a bite, stretching this moment out. "I did change after, um, what happened. When Junk was repaired and I woke up, I came to the realization that the 'Yuta' everyone knew was actually a fragment of Gridman's soul."

"My soul." His voice is soft. "That 'Yuta' exists as a part of me, now. He and I are fully merging, slowly. The true Yuta Hibiki has slept within his own mind, all this time. I didn't intend for this to happen, but --" Gridman looks up to Akane again. "Here we are."

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

Akane gives a small, awkward wave to Calibur as he heads off; she does notice the smile, though. It's a nice thing to see, for sure -- the warmth of someone else's regard, especially someone she's fairly certain she's had to fight against...

Akane tentatively reaches for the cake. It's -- difficult to accept; she hesitates, mumbling, "I -- I..." ... but as she's reassured, she tentatively takes it, saying, "Thank you." She doesn't start in on it just yet, though, instead trying to get settled for this 'long story' Gridman's offering.

... she's not ready for what comes next, though. "... uh? You're -- ahahaha, wow, I. I'm going to need a second. Your vibe did seem a little different, but not that different... wow." Blinking a little owlishly, she finally sets about taking a bite of her cake.

"Do you want me to call you Yuta Hibiki, or Gridman?" she asks, taking care to handle Gridman as his own unique entity. He's given her that courtesy to an almost endless extent; she can surely extend it back in this way. A down payment, perhaps, on the kind of person she'd like to be.

This does make the question of what happened to poor Yuta a little messier though. When she was attacking Yuta, she was attacking Gridman at Yuta's expense... that doesn't feel great. Akane takes a bite of her cake a little limply, then says, "That's... kind of beyond me to figure out. I wonder how it even happened... why were you spraying fragments everywhere, anyway?"

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

Gridman smiles helplessly, red eyebrows drawn together in distress. "Yeah, it's been a shock to everyone. I hope we can still be friends, despite this."

"Gridman, please." Akane is the first one to actually ask. It feels good to be afforded that courtesy. "I've already taken so much of Yuta Hibiki's life, I can at least leave him his name."

A few moments of silence as Gridman and Akane eat their cake. "...yeah. Even the other Hyper Agents I've met have never seen anything like my situation. All I can hope for is Yuta's forgiveness. If he asks me to leave, I'll leave. But I'd really like to stay."

Spraying fragments? Gridman laughs, the sound a little stilted. "I didn't mean to! The last thing I can remember is battling Alexis Kerib. He defeated me, stabbing me through with his spear. I was split into six fragments."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to bring him up." Gridman apologizes quickly, realizing Akane might not want to talk about the Hyper Devil. "But that's the truth of it. I fell into Tsutsujidai in pieces. Four of them became the Gridman, like Calibur. One of them took refuge in Junk, and one... for some reason, took Yuta's body."

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

"Gridman," Akane agrees. In some ways it's hard for her to say that -- she sees so much of Yuta, the Repli-Compoid who she'd offered a special dog, in him. It's hard to conceptualize him another way... but it isn't really about how she conceptualizes him. In this moment, the gold-eyed Repli-Compoid is Gridman, and that has to be what matters if she's to start walking back from the precipice she made his problem.

"Oh... I guess that makes sense," Akane reflects. Talk of Alexis doesn't seem to bother her that much -- if anything, it's... a bit nice to have companionship in the matter of being his victim, in a sideways way. "It's fine," she says. "I'm thinking about him a lot already... bringing him up doesn't really bother me. It kind of makes sense, though... maybe he got the Triple Zero stuff out of Renais the same way he did that." The same power can be used to harm and to heal, to corrupt and to purify, huh...

... kinda heavy, but maybe it's what she needs to be thinking about right now, anyway. "I guess Alexis wanted to hurt you pretty bad, too..." Akane chews on that, wondering, "Maybe he did what he did to me to make you vulnerable. ... that doesn't feel great."

Another bite of cake. "Wow, this is -- really good, actually. But, uh... I'm sorry. For stabbing you. Even I don't really get why I did it... I think I was just -- scared, and you were there, and I felt like if you kept caring about me..." An awkward pause. "Then I'd just be another victim of Alexis's. And I hate the idea of feeling that helpless."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

A little smile, as Akane says his name. Gridman can tell she has reservations, but she's making an effort for him. That matters far more than anything else.

"I'm glad. I wish we could've stopped him, but he escaped during the last battle in Tsutsujidai. Not before he ran his mouth, though." Gridman sighs. A large bite of cake seems to raise his spirits. "I wonder if we'll ever know everything he's capable of... If he was just on our side, he could do so much for everyone! Actually, I met someone who claims to have known Alexis hundreds of years ago. Apparently he used to be a decent person. Kinda weird, still, but not... evil."

Gridman lowers his head. "I didn't have it as bad as you did. I don't think... either of us should blame each other for the stuff he did. It's way too tangled up, and it won't help us. I admit, I've been thinking about all the stuff he said to me during the fight, but all it's done is make me feel bad."

"Easier said than done, but." Gridman eats another bite. "I think it's important."

Akane apologizes. It's not something Gridman was expecting. It takes him a moment to process it, and then he looks at her softly, those yellow eyes so full of life. "It's okay, Akane. I understand. I forgive you. I don't know how the true Yuta will feel about it, but I have faith in him. I think he'll understand, too."

"Speaking of this stuff... How do you want to move forward? It was my mission to save you. I won't consider that mission accomplished until Alexis can't hurt anyone else, but." He shuffles in place nervously. "Do you want to be friends? Would you rather I left you alone? I want to make sure you're comfortable."

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

The more they talk, the more Akane feels at ease with the idea of talking. She did want to talk to Gridman -- and now she's getting to, and it's... not so bad. She feels less cornered, rather than more.

She looks down at the cake, then at her arms. It's still strange -- seeing herself this way, while still thinking of the person she really is. Right now, she's an Akane Shinjo who has to worry about the amount of cake she eats but still doesn't have any scars... it's a very surreal experience.

"I don't think we're gonna get a lot of mileage out of 'as bad as you did,'" Akane concedes. "What did he say to you? He's got this way of talking where, like... he'll say something to you that implies something else, and then what you start thinking about feels like it's just... something wrong with you?" She laughs, admitting, "I'm probably not explaining it great..."

So she lets go of it, for now. Gridman has a more pressing question. "I think... I'd actually like to be friends? I'm still figuring out what that looks like right now. I don't really think I should be in Tsutsujidai after all this... I'm pretty scared of not being able to handle the rest of the world, but I'll... figure something out." She brings her left hand over to her right thumb, gripping it and absently squeezing a few times.

"I never hated you, even when I was screaming for my kaiju to kill you," Akane answers him. "I just... felt like I couldn't come back from where I was. Like I'd always be someone who just hurt other people around me. And the only way for me to go be alone again was to beat Gridman -- beat you." She laughs, and puts a hand to her face.

Something gnaws at her, though... "What did he say to you? We don't have to talk about it, but... I did get a couple years of him. I might have an okay time figuring out what he was getting at."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"I think I can get what you mean. Let me see if I can remember his exact wording." Gridman says, thinking it over around a bite of cake. "He called me half formed, and implied that was why he wouldn't, uh--"

Gridman glances at Calibur. The samurai seems entertained enough, looking at a set of weights.

"...a long time ago, I offered Alexis my heart if he'd let yours go. He didn't go for it." Obviously. "And he made me think the fact that I'm broken into pieces is the reason why."

He's clearly upset even remembering this. Gridman rubs at his arm, glancing away.

"He made fun of Vit for detaching to try and get Ennil back. Lots of stuff about my heart. Which, I guess.. I really have been worrying about. I don't want to be incomplete. But I don't want to just." Gridman sighs. "Absorb my comrades, either. They deserve to live just as much as anyone."

But Akane wants to be friends. Gridman beams. "I'd really like that. I'm not sure what it'll look like, either, but. This is nice. Just being able to talk, and trust each other." A little pause. "If you ever need someone by your side, for the rest of the world stuff? I know you've got Rikka, but you can depend on me, too."

"I feel the same way, a little, about the Hyper World and all the people I knew there. I've just been avoiding thinking about it, or doing anything about it." Gridman pokes at his cake. "I have no idea what to do."

Listening as Akane goes on, Gridman nods. He doesn't quite laugh along with her, but he smiles. "This is kinda dire, but I'm curious. Why didn't you ever just... send a kaiju to step on who we thought was Yuta? Even with the Gridman, there must've been lots of chances to just. You know. But you never did."

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

"... yeah, that sounds like the kind of thing he'd do," Akane answers, visibly deflating to have to think about it. "If he knows that all those guys used to be part of you, he's probably guessing you're not sure about whether you want to be 'whole' or 'you' again, or whatever." It's a familiar form of abuse -- less expert, but as something thrown between giants, it doesn't have to be that precise.

Akane picks up her fork, tapping it against her plate. It's slow at first, but the longer it goes the faster and more agitated she gets about it. "I don't really know how you'd fix that though. It's kinda beyond me... if I knew how to untangle that stuff the last couple years would've been really different," she answers him, and there's strain there -- she means it, and even means it kindly, but it's clearly taking effort to keep the anger out of her voice.

... everything's easier with cake. She takes a few moments to savor the flavor rather than just chewing and swallowing, really appreciating the gift she's been given. "I know it's probably just as much about, like... going back home, after all this. But are you worried about the other Gridman, too?"

The other question, though... "I actually did send Anti after you at one point. But even then, he attacked you when both of you were still person-sized, and I guess... I kind of saw it that way too? Like -- I felt so powerless other than having kaiju, and I felt like it'd kinda be cheating, too. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I don't deal with it super great when things don't feel fair."

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"How is he so good at that stuff?" Gridman asks, frustrated. "I'd never be able to get into someone's head like this. It doesn't help that I'm --" He takes a breath. This is difficult to admit. "Kinda scared to fight him again. But this is something only I can do."

Akane taps her fork against the plate, and Gridman is suddenly reminded of his habit of tapping a pencil, or a finger, against things when he's anxious. Despite the tense subject, it gives him a warm feeling in his chest.

"Don't worry, this isn't something you have to fix. We've got lots of allies we can turn to, after all. Talking to someone who's been in a place like this would be really helpful, I think."

Gridman's cake is nearly gone. Despite having the mind and soul of a Hyper Agent, he still has the body of a teenage boy. He's almost always hungry. "Gridman Sigma is my brother. It's a weird thing where he and his host swapped, or something, and then got corrupted. So my brother is in the body of," Gridman's lips tilt up at the ridiculousness of it all. "The Tsutsujidai High math teacher, Takeshi Todo. And Takeshi himself is in Gridman Sigma's body. I'm determined to save them. Even if I can't remember our time together, he's my brother!" Gridman's voice echoes in an especially metallic way. "He wouldn't give up on me. I know it."

Anti coming after Gridman... That feels like another life, now. "That's right. He grabbed me at school, but I managed to convince him I wasn't Gridman. Whoops." A little laugh. "Do you know how he's doing, by the way? I haven't seen him since the fight. Since he's Gridknight, now, we're kind of family, I think." Gridman sounds supremely unsure. "And I want to be there for him."

"I can respect that. And, I guess it kept me alive. So I'm thankful." A friendly little smile. "Wanting things to be fair is what started all of this, isn't it? Because the outside world is so--" Several words run through Gridman's mind. Scary. Terrible. Cruel. "--unfair."

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

How is he so good at that stuff...? Akane looks up at the ceiling, lips pouting out just slightly as she thinks about it -- as obvious as it is that he is good at it... how? "Huh. I wonder," she says, bending her left thumb inward and then pressing down on it with her fingers. "It could just be that he's good at reading people, but..."

She hears something, though, that catches her a little off guard. "Wait -- Todo-san's a Gridman?" Akane asks, incredulous. "He did seem interested in getting me doing other stuff... he assigned me a little extra homework. He seemed kinda interested in my craft knife, too -- which... was actually from Alexis... ahhahaha... oh, that explains a lot." It gets her thinking, though... "I don't know how much I can do, but I do want to help you if you want to save him. I don't know your brother or Todo-san for real, but if that's important... I want to be there for you."

She looks down at her rapidly-dwindling cake. "Anti's doing okay. I think he needs a little time to focus, but... he reached out a hand when he didn't really have to, and I'm really happy I had the chance to take it." He'd wanted to be there, he had said -- and Akane's trying, bit by bit, to take that to heart.

The last comment, though... "I mean -- it wasn't just that. What started this was... I guess just how lonely I was." Laughing at herself, she says, "But when it got really bad... yeah. Unfair. I was pretty scared of being an unfair kind of person, and it made everything a lot worse. I guess the real unfair thing was not just being honest from the start, but I got so in my own head, and Alexis kept making it worse..."

Cutting that off before she starts circling the drain, she says, "I hope I can live up to what you did for me. I do want to try."
BBSYS: Post 653, 'Valentine's And Me' has been published to Vacations by Sonia Sophia-Grace.

<Pose Tracker> Gridman has posed.

"Maybe because Alexis has been around so long? He's just got a lot of practice... maybe." It doesn't sound like a very solid theory, even as Gridman says it.

Another little, stilted laugh at Akane's incredulous laughter. "Yeah! And he's incredibly kind, too. I think it'd be nice if you could talk to him about all this. That craft knife actually has a lot of history. I think you two would really understand each other. Sigma said his host was a lot like you, before the 000 stuff." Gridman blinks in surprise as Akane says she wants to be there for him. He smiles, then laughs, squeezing his eyes closed in delight. "It's a promise, then. We'll save Takeshi together!"

"Good. Calibur would never say it, but he's been worried. I guess they can text again now -- not that Anti's any better at texting than you were." A teasing smile. "His messages with Calibur are just a stream of single words back and forth."

Gridman thinks for a moment, finishing the last bit of his cake. "I think. Making the world a more fair place is something worth living for. And fighting for, if you choose. You get to decide what happens now, Akane. Whatever you decide, I'll support you all the way. Just keep moving forward. There's no chance of you letting me down!"

<Pose Tracker> Akane Shinjo has posed.

"I could see that," Akane says, even if the assessment's a little half-baked. "When you spend a lot of time feeling like you're alone or you don't fit in... you get pretty good at reading people. Maybe he's been doing that for a long time. It does seem like he knows a lot..."

Hearing that that craft knife has history makes Akane flinch -- but she recovers. "I guess I was more on a script than I thought I was... that's kinda depressing." At the same time, knowing how much of this was contrived is a little reassuring. It means she needs to make peace with being a victim, but at the same time... there's steps after being a victim, too.

Rubbing at the back of her head, Akane notes, "I guess it runs in the family, ahaha... I can get pretty chatty online though. I'm gonna try to be more regular about it with you. ... Some of your memes are kinda cringe, but that's fine. I like that."

And as for the other steps in moving forward together...

"Renais suggested joining 3G. I... might, actually. It'd probably only be part time, but... I mean, if I was angry that Renais and Alouette got what I didn't... maybe I should just get my head around the idea I can have that." She takes a last bite of her cake and, through a mouthful of food, says, "Thanks. ... I'll try to trust you, too. I'm still a little scared, but... I don't feel as helpless as I did. I want to support you, too, Gridman."