2023-02-05: Empty Walls

• Cast: Seolla Schweizer, Teletha Testarossa
• Where: TDD-1, Pacific Ocean
• Date: U.C. 0097 02 05
• Summary: Mithril accepts a new soldier onboard the Tuatha de Dannan. Informally: Tessa gives the meet and greet to a defecting pilot.

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<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        -> Personnel File: Seolla Schweizer
        -> Birthdate: DEC 25 0080
        ===Primary Notes===
        )Subject of the AEU's 'School' program of human experimentation.
        )High aptitudes in marksmanship and physical mobility.
        )Currently recovering from regimens of multiple high-intensity combat drugs.
        )Notably high metabolic rate - adapted to effectively a constant source of water and caloric intake.
        )Has requested Mithril and other Shuffle network aid in rescuing fellow 'School' subjects.
        )Claims a willingness to do anything required of her in the meantime. (Please be careful with her. She pushes herself very hard.)
        )Assigned to attend Jindai Academy in the meantime - is, however, fleeing surveillance and capture by the current Romefeller agents and has records concealed.
        )No formal previous records - she has fled illicitly. School personnel likely assume she is still alive, but she is attempting to make herself scarce at the moment.

        Thus concludes the basic report the Tuatha de Danaan receives on their latest added transfer member. Seolla, for her part, came aboard the submarine with extremely little but a small duffel bag with a handful of clothes - one of which is already a uniform for aboard the submarine. Immediately upon boarding, she unpacked, retreated to her bunk, and fell asleep for 12 hours. Then she took a shower, wordlessly made her way to the mess hall, had a rather disproportionately large lunch, took additional food with her back to her bunk...and fell asleep for another 12 hours.

        So the fact that it's only 'a few hours later' than when she came on makes Seolla think she has basically just taken a few little naps, ignoring how it's that in addition to a literal entire day zonked out. She figures it's probably a decent time to actually introduce herself to the bridge - and she trudges her way up there, uniform disheveled and unbuttoned with a frumpy and strained tank top underneath. Fanning herself with her debriefing and still working up quite a sweat, Seolla announces herself with a momentary, "Reporting in, Bron- eeer. . . i-it's me, Seolla. I didn't...really say hi since I was exhausted when I got here, but I feel a bit more restless now. It's fine to be here, right?"

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Mithril is always welcome to handle others in return for the implicit debt involved; Moreso when the actual subject is related to Mithril's own goals of preventing war in general.It wasn't the usual route of Mithril scouting out people in war camps or whatnot, but...Well, when one's from the AEU's programs of human experimentation, extremely willing to assist in whatever endeavours, and Mithril's own knowledge of how to deal with combat drugs (and the weaning of them from people who've been doped up for Black Technology), the choice was simple enough.

That is to say, Seolla is lucky; Stupidly so, considering that only the skeleton crew was at the bridge right now, along with Tessa managing the final bits and pieces of the day before heading for dinner and winddown. Indeed, the passing crew did raise a few eyebrows, but briefings were briefings, and so was...the knowledge of the new crewmate.

"Seolla..." ...There was a bit of leeway about combat drugs; Let the leash loose. Give them the space they need. This was making Shuffle owe them another favor, after all. After squaring away the obvious sight in front of her, Tessa... "Ahem. In normal circumstances, yes. Since it's not normal circumstances, I'd advise you to keep yourself well-dressed when heading up." Layman's Terms: Please cover yourself up...

"Not that...anything is normal right now. Welcome aboard, Seolla." A small smile offered from Captain to new Crewmate; Taking on new people wasn't exactly a new thing, but one from the AEU...

...Granted, none as strange as this. "Slept well, at least? I'm just about to head for dinner."

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        There's a bit of a dark hue under Seolla's eyes...despite sleeping so much, and despite marching her way in speaking a little too fast, she seems like she's...about on the same energy wavelength as someone who hasn't slept well, but who's pushing through with a bit too much coffee.

        She does look around the bridge with a bit of curiosity - it's a lot more high-tech than any ships she's boarded. (When she was aboard Grims' ships, he had a bit of a 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' approach to hauling around a total bucket of bolts...) It's nothing she really understands the intricacies of, and since Tessa's heading out herself, she doesn't have much pull in just hanging out somewhere so mission-vital.

        "Oh! Yeah, I'd wanted to meet you, Captain, since I'll be...doing what I can to help out, though I'm really more of a pilot than a crew member. Ah, but I'll learn whatever I gotta do here! ...mm, I'm not hungry right now, I just ate before napping, but I'll joi-"

        An embarrassingly loud grumbling sounds from Seolla's core, and her arms tuck down over her stomach. A slight flustering redness in her cheeks. "...I...I guess I'm hungrier than I thought. The food here's pretty good too, ahahah...! And I'm suddenly really in need of some water too..."

        -...the gesture does push the top of her uniform a little tighter on her shoulders, but she maybe didnt clearly get the message...

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Tessa's eyes have the bare hint of a dark hue; The marks of stress over a year of constant work and little vacation. (Even Jindai. She's never truly off of work.) Still, she's got that aura of managing to be upright, managing to be a rock in the sea with their current predicament. DANA has wisely hidden any sort of map or coordiantes, merely the sonar of what was nearby. Somewhere over the pacific, but nothing more conclusive.

She's still puffing her chest out with a slight bit of pride. This was the ship she designed and built, after all. "Mhm, I understand." The document is fresh in her mind; Around the same age, experimentation, the willingness to go back in to rescue people... "Pilots are crew members here, too. Have you not...talked with them in any capacity?" She's standing up as she does so, stretching before turning on her heel, the light beckon for Seolla to follow along. It's not like Seolla needed to follow orders, but Mithril did enforce themselves appropriately, and... "Ahem. Your...Uniform, Seolla."

Napping? Her? ...The gears in her mind are slowly turning, the slight hint of concern while walking down the hallways to lunch. "...A question. How long do you think you've been on this vessel?"

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        At the more discrete nudging, Seolla does fix the buttons on her uniform, fanning herself a little more fiercely. ...Has it necessarily solved a problem to do so, given how it's...testing limits a little bit? Maybe. It remains to be seen. "Mm, I'll have to...get used to the usual temperature around here. Kinda used to being up in the skies and cooling off that way, so I feel a liiiiittle claustrophobic in here. It's not that bad though. This is pretty big for a submarine..."

        Pretty soon the mess hall is back in sight, and Seolla swiftly fills her bottle back up with water and waits in line for what's on the menu today. "Oh, I napped when I got here so I only just woke up. I've met Sagara, of course, but other crew members or pilots, I'm still gonna have to meet...it's, ah. Not...my strong suit but I'll...I'll figure it out."

        "...haven't I only boarded a few hours ago?" Seolla ponders, sipping half of her water bottle's contents dry in one fell slurp.

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

The buttoning does draw Tessa's eye the slightest bit...She's sure that these clothes were pretty well-built, even with the memetic phrasing of "military-grade meaning cheapest bidder" and whatnot. Was it just how she walked? How she composed herself? Her gaze lingering on those buttons (those poor buttons) for a few before peeling her gaze away, mulling over temperatures instead. Metabolism? "I designed it this way. Since the Tuatha de Dannan has a few..." How to call it? "Minor advancements applied to it, we can afford to widen the spaces without having to compromise on noise or fuel consumption." Oh, her confidence is clear in her voice.

What to have, what to have...Something safely nutirious and reliable. "I don't think you'll be too out of place. PMCs pick up the people who aren't willing to be in any of the regular armies for one reason or another." Common knowledge; If you were here, you were either dissatisfied, looking for something else, or a personal thing that Mithril knows but will overlook. "Seargent Sagara's an important one, at least. There's Peggy Goldberry, the doctor in charge of our general health. You'll be reporting to her if anything goes wrong. Leave nothing unsaid about your body's health, she's dealt with worse."

A lightly growling stomach, bringing out a small blush as the line shortened, bit by bit. "XO Mardukas and Lieutenant Commander Kalinlin are the chief heads below me. If I'm not commanding, XO Mardukas is your chief POC, with Kalinlin being the person to follow on the field. The rest...Well, you'll learn as we go along. Uruz, Anzus, Kano, Perth, Gebo, Teiwaz, Ogma...The preliminary list should be in your bunker, and I believe you're acqauinted with general callsign ettiquite, yes?" The words flow like water; Practiced, knowing, completely in her element.

She settles for the general menu of the night: Britannian-style potato, a good piece of chicken, and some salad on the side. "...A few hours?" Metabolism, huh...She makes sure to stay silent until they're both seated, scratching at her chin. "Seolla, its been over a day. Is it normal?"

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        Tessa's insistent gaze does make Seolla a little bit confused...but she dismisses it a little bit, distracted by the slowly encroaching promise of dinner. "...Oh! I think Sousuke told me about this, that the captain of the TDD-1 was also its lead designer. ...wait-" Seolla finally, like, actually observes Tessa a little more intently, face leaning in close, eyes peering a little more diligently.

        "...I didn't even think to ask. ...you're right around my age, huh? ...I mean...I guess I can't be shocked that there's...more places that people around my age are fighting, but it's completely different for you to have been important in building and engineering all of this. I couldn't even begin to imagine...nnh, but no, that's right, the Lat-"

        Seolla interrupts herself again, but this time, looking a little more diligently at everyone else in the mess hall. "...the Latunes were probably raised to be able to do that sorta high tech engineering stuff, and Sayla told me that she knows one of them that I thought was gone. ...except I knew she was okay, somehow. I don't see her here though. If she's aboard your ship...she's got purple hair, and glasses, and is super duper shy and quiet. Nnn...I do really hope I get to see her some time. I miss her..."

        Seolla picks up a dinner pretty close to what Tessa gets - albeit with a little more of a large salad pile. "Oh yeah, I did stop by Doctor Goldberry's, mostly just to drop off my dossier and take a few medications." When she does finally sit down opposite Tessa, there's a distinct tiredness in her posture, leaning over the table with her head in both hands, eyes glassy and unfocused.

        "...mm, I'm still sorta...gradually recovering. I can't keep going on what I was taking before. Doctor Mass told me it'd probably...get me killed some day. But they didn't really have access to the best stuff in Tsutsujidai either. So for the past...month or two I've been...kinda sleeping a whole lot, and when I do get up and do something, I get shaky and dizzy even if I push myself just a little. ...Maybe it was always like that. Kind of a consistent, dull, pounding headache all the time, but I've gotten used to it, and it's not as bad after I eat something."

        Her eating pace is steady and consistent, at this perfect rate of x calories per second, practiced and routine even if it looks like a bit of aimless one-handed fork poking - she doesn't look like she's particularly starving, but her plate is half-empty at a deceptively quick rate...

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Tessa keeps quiet at Seolla's own deliberations, clearly waiting for the obvious conclusion to take form. Stopping under such an intense gaze, she can't help but stare back against those azure orbs. Her own eyes were filled with life, a bit tired, a bit...melancholic, for lack of a better term. But they still brimmed with a life already weighed down with wordly experiences, blinking a few times. "Yes...I'm 17." Seolla was one day off from The Crucial Date, not to say anything of the year. She wasn't one. Not at all. Just another circumstance from some other part of the globe that led her to being on the frontlines so early in life.

Purple hair. Glasses. "It doesn't ring a bell...Unless someone can confused black, brown, or blonde with purple, you won't find the Latune on this ship." The slow, subtle hit of something. Something else raised to do this, huh? Could they have built this? Could they have poured blood, sweat, tears, frustration, melancholy, grief, and pain into this blessed vessel of the seas? ...There may be a slight hint of pride in her voice. "I don't think I'm classified as one of them, either. It does sound like...Codivergent happenings. Were they in the School, or something else?" Best to probe at her intention's: Who, what, when, where, why. Most of those things could be checked off, but still...

Slowly eating, grateful that Mithril barely skimped on food. It wasn't exactly glamorous, but you could say that chicken was Actual Chicken, compared with some mess halls. "Mhm. Perhaps it's sleep debt and withdrawal." The dossier. "Were you pushing yourself? Doing something repeatedly, again and again, time and time again?" The obvious question.

After all, being thrown out of your comfort zone, no matter how perious, was something that took time to adjust to. "It may be..." ...Hmm. "Your body is continually on alert for combat." The obvious conclusion. She bites into a cherry tomato.

...Have to look at dietary requirements. "I'll have Doctor Goldberry start monitoring you closely. Dietary requirements, food, general mental state." Chomp. "...I know what that feeling is." Chomp. "Something happening to you and you don't know what it is, but it's something you aren't yourself without."

A gaze towards Seolla. "Am I right?"

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        The back of Seolla's fingers indent into her cheeks a bit. (Shockingly squishy - it can certainly be said that at least whatever terrible things she's endured, she was certainly fed well.) "I've always had to push myself to meet performance standards, and I had to always be on alert, so..."

        ...quite a lot has happened to Seolla all the sudden, hasn't it? It really is only just now sinking in, when she's gotten the time to take it all in. The dreaded certainty she's adapted to for so long has become a comfortable uncertainty.

        What do you do about the urge to fight when there's no immediate enemy? What is your most important task when the duty is to stand by and-

        Those hands quickly clutch her head - a dull throb only deterred by pushing it all aside. "...I've held on...really tight to who I am. I know what I have to do. The thing guiding me forward is to...save Arado and Ouka. Nn. Ouka was so close, too, but...it's really tough for her. I really wish..."

        The final bite of salad is cleared away - Seolla then diligently begins working on the potatoes. One food at a time, rigidly organized. Chicken saved for last. "But...god I hate being so worn down. I know the feeling of being so hot-burning and amped up was unsustainable. I know it! But I...it's so hard to get used to. It's demotivating, a little, to feel really, really weak."

        One hand covers Seolla's left eye aimlessly. "...if I was just propped up by the things they were giving me, where I'd burn my life up just to be slightly strong enough to push at what a normal person couldn't - do I have any place here, if I...if I can't-"

        A sharper swallow, as the realization sinks in. "...do I have to choose between...asking you to let me go back to something so dangerous to me...or running away and leaving those two behind? I...I really am not sure what to do if it turns out I'm so weak that I can't endure the sacrifice it'll take to be extremely strong anymore..."

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Tessa silently chips away at her own meal; Satisfactory, but the added conversation is making it a touch more fulfilling than her usual jaunts of moonlighting in the mess hall. She's listening closely; Noting the indents, the way Seolla's carrying herself, how that state of perpetual alert had nowhere to go. She's seen this a few times; Of people, brought out from somewhere...Doing their best to keep themselves calm, wary of things that were a certainty.

...It never got easier, seeing each one.

"Arado and Ouka. Those are the ones you want most from the School?" She's inquisitive. Snagging on every thread, every mutter, pushing forward. She wants to know more. Tessa wants to know more. She, herself, as a person, wants to know more about Seolla Schweizer.

She's working on each dish on the same interval; A bit of salad, a bit of chicken, a bit of potatoes. Always switching, always trying to vary. "I know." It's a similar feeling. Moving forward. Doing something. Always trying to take one step forward, no matter what. It's what she can do. "It's my job to keep everyone moving forward." It's what only she can do, as commander of the TDD-1.

"..." She sets the fork down. To push on no matter what, or to cut your losses and leave people behind. "...I can't answer that for you, Seolla. You're only a few days out from transfer. There's always the transitionary period." The first step is filled with regrets. Of what could have been. Of what one can do. "We're not going to ask you to burn your life away for Mithril. Not now, not ever." A tap on that same fork. Thinking. Deliberating.

"But what's certain is, you could get there before. And if I know people well enough, they can get there again without the crutches forced on them." Was this the way to tackle it? To say "Yes, you can get there?"? A deep breath. "It's not a matter of weakness. It's a matter of seeing it through."

...Those words were filled with a false certainty. Trying so hard to reassure someone of a question that she couldn't answer herself.

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        Thankfully, when it comes to the subject of the two most important people in Seolla's world, she's no shortage of information. Her eyes brighten a little bit at Tessa. "Ah-! Yes. It's really, really important that I can get them. Ouka's amazing at just about everything. All of us always looked up to her and she was always there to care for us when we were having trouble. Nothing really ever fazed her. It was a huge surprise when she went kinda berserk on an operation, but it was all because of what Akane was up to in Tsutsujidai. She got really, really sick from it though, since she needs a super specific diet to stay alive...it's because of all that, I was sent up to Tsutsujidai myself, to kill Shinjo in revenge for all that. Not that it was my idea! I was told to do it. But...then we all got stuck in there, and I got in really awful shape since I was only supplied for a few weeks, and Doctor Mass and Sergeant Sagara were there to help me, so that's why I'm here. They...they helped me realize I had to get out of there, as fast as possible..."

        "Oh, but Arado - I think Arado's going to be fine in there. Arado's super duper strong and sturdy. He's a big dolt a whole lot of the time," The tsun-aspect easily enters here- "Sometimes he can be a bit of a jerk! He'll make fun of us sometimes but it's easy enough to laugh it off, and...he always knows the right thing to say to people after that. ...He's a huge dummy, but he's smarter than he looks, too, and no matter how catastrophically he screws up, he's back at it with a bigger smile than before, trying harder than before. Sometimes...when I mess up, I can't deal with it, but Arado's never been that way. He's...he's unimaginably strong, actually, and I rely on him a lot. ...I don't know what they're going to do with him when I'm gone. We're supposed to be a pair, and he's kind of hopeless without me, but...but..."

        If Tessa wanted to know more about the three surviving students of the School - there it is, all blurted out very suddenly.

        "...You work hard yourself, don't you, Captain Testarossa? I can tell from how you can so easily say something like that. ...But...I want to believe in you. Believe in all of you. ...I'll...I won't lose hope that easily. Promise." Her hand extends out to Tessa's - it's rather on the big side compared to the captain's, and certainly rougher-palmed. "...If you're going to be understanding about...the things I have to deal with, then I'll...take my time with it. I have to keep moving forward, for their sake."

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Tessa watches. The way she talks about them. The explanations. Looking up to Ouka. The rapidfire versioon of how she came here. Her care for Arado; Even if there's a bit of criticism, it's a place of...care. She can't help but have her lips perk up in a small smile as she listens on, cupping her bottle of water and taking a long sip from it. She doesn't need to say anything to Seolla.

After all, the answer's right there.

"Eh?" Hard? Work? ...Well, yes. Yes... "I think you have your answer." A firm handshake. Her hand is soft. There's very little in terms of calluses, a faint restraint from the years of work, but very much hands that have worked more on pen and paper than on the field itself. "I won't let you fall down without support, okay? There's a lot going on, and lots to do, and...Have you been properly transferred to Jindai? The sooner the paperwork's done, the better. ...And we have to make sure you're getting the proper curriculum..."

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        "Huh-! ...I didn't know someone's hands could be this soft." Seolla muses, very unaware of what she's saying there. Her other hand locate's Tessa's other palm - hands crossing over herself - confirming that it's not just the one. "...Eh? Is this some sort of unusual condition you have, Captain Testarossa?"

        She just kinda...squeezes Tessa's hands like that for a little while, aimlessly and unknowing of what she's really doing, until Tessa mentions the idea of being supported - and all the sudden, a puffiness enters her cheeks, and her hands withdraw. "I-it's hardly like I need a whole lot of support-! I'm not going to be that hopeless on my own, hmph! ...guh, saying a whole bunch of really embarrassing things just because I haven't eaten as recently as I ought to...mou, yeah, I've been transferred just fine, I even have my uniform onboard with me...though...I hated the shirt of the girl's uniform and I hated the pants of the men's uniform, so I might clash a bit, but it's really important for me to be comfy and mobile there..."

        Head turned to the side, lips pursed poutily, she does murmur out, "...w-well. I haven't exactly ever had a lotta choices for fashion, so...do you want me to show you how I look in that, and you can be the judge on if it works...?"

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

A blink of soft surprise, jolting in place as both hands were captured(?) in Seolla's grasp. "I don't think it is, no...Soldier's hands are usually harder than expected, because of what you have to do while on duty. I'm certified with the usual required readiness tests, but I'm an officer, not one on the frontlines." Translation: She's fit. Running, curl-ups, push-ups, swimming, floating, all properly Britannian-military level.

But, well, a Captain can certainly tell one thing about their crew: When they're so clearly bonded with someone, but loathe to admit it. "I don't think it's a bad thing. It's good that you have people worth caring about, and the means to do so." A common connection. "You're still adjusting to the new situation, too."

"Mmh, if I could...? I don't mind, and we might have to get...something especially fitted." ...She's doing her best to not return her gaze to that chest. Truly better than military grade.

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        Abruptly, then, Seolla stands up, having finished her plate, diligently bringing it back to the kitchen for cleaning and walking a little bit overly fast to guide Tessa to where she's quartered for her stay here. Since the crew's running relatively light at the current moment, she has a small area mostly to herself - still one that'd have three or four crew members at full capacity under normal circumstances.

        "Honestly, it's kind of amazing how...almost luxurious this space is. I guess the TDD-1 isn't a normal submarine," Seolla muses, digging through her duffel bag and pulling out a black buttoned up shirt and a teal skirt. "I guess I've slept pretty great here if a whole day's gone by without me noticing."

        ---and right there and then, she starts changing?! The door hasn't even closed yet. Thankfully(?) she doesn't see fit to go without her undershirt for now, and it's not...fundamentally different between the shirt of a naval uniform and the shirt of a school uniform. (As predicted, buttoning remains a tight process.)

        "I can only imagine the captain's quarters are a league of their own. Maybe you can show those to me some time-?" Seolla muses, pulling up the skirt and finishing the attire with the usual red ribbon Jindai girls wear, fastened to the black collar of this profoundly gender-blending uniform of hers - one she...somehow seems to make work, one hand on her hips as she finishes getting changed in record time. "...So - works well, aye, captain?"

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Tessa is the sort of Captain to adapt to changing circumstances; To watch the new crew members closely and note their capabilities and drawbacks. So far, with this and the dossier...There's a good sense of where Seolla shines, and a half-decent sense of her recovery time. Yes, the woman was just getting out of being transferred so suddenly, but she has support. Tessa isn't the type of person to push someone out of the nest with nothing less than their best.

She does follow along... "Mind the pipe on this turn, to your left." And as if on cue, that same pipe popped up on-route to the gal's quarters, nimbly stepping aside.

"...Has the School not talked about the submarine?" That just means it was doing a good job, up until...Recently. By choice. "Like I said, it's fitted with nothing but the best." And more. "I know every inch of this ship inside and out." She did design it.

And as if on cue, she stepped over the entrance to the quarters...Successfully. And took two more steps before tripping on her own two feet, crashing down unceremoniously. ... "Ow..." It takes a few seconds for her to stand, to raise her head and OhShe'sUndressingRightHereUhUhmRightLetsJustCloseThatDoooooooor...

Even if Seolla was wearing something underneath (and being tempered by Mao's own indiscretions), it was still a practical stranger undressing in front of her. "My quarters? I intentionally didn't make them that much more spacious..." Granted, it was by design, and both as a way to passively assert the chain of command. Psychological reinforcement even in the most benign of places. "When you have your first order, you'll see it." For a small while.

That being said, she rubs her forehead while looking over Seolla's attempted fit. "You'd be considered the..." Second weirdest? Third? "...Quite honestly, I think you'll fit in just fine in Jindai. The Student Council President will vouch for that outfit, if nothing else." And the rest of them, too.

"Though..." She's looking carefully. Yes, it fit relatively well. "Will the buttons last?"

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        Taking a seat on her bunk, Seolla handily drinks down half a bottle of water in one gulp, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and slowly pulling at her braid, briefly glancing to Tessa's much larger, more prominent one. "...Hmm, I wonder if I oughta...grow things out longer..."

        A pillow soon appears in Seolla's lap, hands resting upon it for a second, before clutching it a little bit close, the lower half of her face smothered in its creased fabric. "...Ughhh, no, if I sit here too long I'll wanna...fall right back asleep for too long again. I should stay...awake..." Eyes start to dip. Then-

        "Uwah, nonono, a little longer-!" Rapid head shaking, eyes blinking over and over to keep herself up. "I...really hope I'll fit in. But ugh. ...I was...attending Tokyo-3 for a little while, and it was just...really tough. I only kinda made a few friends and mostly with the people I was also fighting alongside working with NERV for a bit, so...I might be relying on Sergeant Sagara some. ...oh wait, do you go there too? If so I'll...rely on you too..."

        A finger falls on the metal buttons that are fighting for their life. Seolla looks down at them curiously, then back up. "They're not cheap, they're made of pretty sturdy metal, so I dunno why they wouldn't last..."

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Seolla's drinking habit did not go unnoticed. Was it just self-preservation? Something relating to her metabolism? She's already mentally mapping caloric count; How much goes in, how much goes out, how much is intended. There's no certain number in mind, but Seolla's going to find her food intake monitored slightly closely.

Note to self: Prone to falling asleep. Check brain scans, check for any sign of mental stress. Monitor closely. ...The slight pang of seeing someone like this as something to be fixed. ...Vexing, that, but she wants to be helped. That is the important part for all this.

"Mhm. Sergeant Sagara and I both attend Jindai, though we're both out frequently for missions." She chooses to skip over Kaname and Alouette; Outside of scope. "It's a hard process...Trying to fit in after so much, right?" ...Her mind brings up a fateful conversation. Sometimes, you just need someone to nudge you forward. "I do think you'll fit in, just..." ...This feels like a farce, in of itself. All her acqauintances were either crew or on the small slivers only gained in the past year. Who was she, to try and be a mentor to someone barely a year younger in something that she also failed in?

"...Around 5 years ago, I also didn't fit in. A small school, before Area 11 became where it was known." The dredging of memories. The displacement. The isolation. The feeling of being there, but mentally...somewhere else. "I was out after a month." Hands clasped together, thumbs twiddling. "It's tough. I know it is." Her words are barely whispered, audible enough to pick out he deep shame of that time.

"But...I made it out. If I can have some semblance of school life, even with my job, then I think it can be the same for you, Seolla."

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        Seolla's 'used' to being examined a little bit closely - it's clear from a lot of things that her sense of boundaries is...a little 'off'. Not that she doesn't have them, but they're clearly built rather differently from most typical people. But then - since when was Tessa's company very typical people?

        ...even so, Seolla does sense that Tessa's fascinated in a way, watching her so carefully, and rosiness enters her cheeks. "A-ah...you've been observing me really closely, I can feel. I don't think your eyes have really been off me from the moment we met..." Two fingers pushing together. "...is there something I need to tell you, something you don't know yet? ...you seem to be very invested in me feeling well, so I'll...tell you anything at all."

        She hears Tessa out, slowly turning back to face her captain, eyes a little wide as she begins to understand. "Ah...right, of course a captain and engineer my age hasn't been through anything 'normal'. Mmmm. ...I always had a tough time fitting in, even befo-"

b[b[efore-? r0ads were a_ways rough __isn't taking sh)pe
                                        _uou t == t_ 2
__who w_re they agai_?
                        have to p_o_ect t_hem > but-

                                who_?

        ...she's paused for a long while then. Caught up in a faded, waking dream that always strikes her in downtime. There's a glistening in her eyes. Something important. Something so important. Something unimaginably important - but it's down there, deep in the river's sediment, and it's so, so dark. How can it ever be found. How can it-

        "...hey, Capt- ...Tessa. ...thank you for being there for me too. I had no idea this was even possible. Honestly, coming here, I was...a little bit scared you'd be like...some of the others I've worked with."

        ---maybe there's depths she doesn't yet know. Colonel Grims wore a smile on his face - roped people in - - - but the laughter at the sight of blood he had a habit of. [sometimes it helped take the edge off though, didn't it-?] [maybe if she learned to laugh about it]

        Rapid head-shaking. The braid tousles against her nose a little bit. A more clear, sky blue in Seolla's gaze, locked tight on Tessa's, even as tears well up from somewhere. "...But I imagine...they're warm people. They wouldn't have suggested I come to you if you weren't too. So I'll...hold everything about you close. Okay? Because...we're a lot alike. I...I really like telling you things."

        ...one soft pause.

        "...D-don't go asking anything weird or anything, though! Pffu..." As round and succulent as a cactus may be, its spines exist for some reason, no matter how easy they are to work around...

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

Was it really anything more than close observation? It did worry hr from reading the dossier; Child soldiers were always a...minor handful, and the request was something Mithril accepted because it was advancing their own mission. There was little alturism other than the usual "we're helping others out", in this case. But still. To hear Soella say it so blanatly, Tessa does look away with a cough. "I'm not the type to force someone to tell me everything about them, since I'm the Captain. We're soldier and officer here. I need to know how my crew is, especially the ones recently onboarded." Tell her? Tell her anything?

...Why did that sound so sinful, or was that just her own tiredness making connections where duty demanded there be none?

Of course, such thoughts fade away at Seolla's...strange tapering. No, she wasn't a Whispered. Not at all. But...She opts to remain silent. Everyone has a burden, and asking someone to talk about that would be unwise at the best of circumstances. There's only the minor shuffling of her skirt, pulling out a handkerchief, taking Seolla's wrist (gingerly, tenderly), and setting that same napkin on her palm.

'I had no idea this was even possible.' ...Validation. The Captain keeps silent. Let her work through it. Let her process. There's times to pull the band-aid, and there's times that time itself helps more than any shove.

"Yes. I understand, Seolla." Warm people, huh? It was Shuffle's suggestion. It was Mithril's choice. But in the end...It was Seolla who wanted to move forward. How nice. "Don't go around saying the thigns I said to others, okay?" Precaution after precaution. Limit knowledge. Staunch the floods.

Ensure everyone knew as little as possible for them to work with.

"So long as you're under my command, I won't let you be adrift." You have somewhere now. You can work. You can go to school. You have people who know the sorts of trials, tribulations, and pains and can help you with it.

"I think asking for a proper sleep schedule is within reason, shouldn't it? And keeping a log of your diet for the next week." Both reasonable demands. She hopes.

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

        That little offering of a handkerchief makes Seolla's face fall deep in - makes her fall deep in. A slow, soft smile crosses her lips. Even though this girl's a trained soldier - or maybe...because of it? After all, the program she's in is known in these circles for having done a lot of personality conditioning...

        If Tessa wants her to fall into some position, Seolla clearly would leap there of her own volition. The glimmer in her eyes of an unbidden loyalty. The searching in her actions for something to be loyal to. She wants to hold on, so she does - to Tessa's hand as it clears her face.

        "Everything will be between you and me, Tessa. And I can do that easily. Nnnn...I should probably...try to get on a sleep cycle that works well if I'm gonna try working as part of the crew, yeah? Something that gives me a good space to slot into. And a dietary log...I'm accustomed to that sorta...being logged as part of me getting food to begin with. Wouldn't the galley keep track of-"

        Seolla shakes her head. A little bit - forcefully? Some instinct that flares up whenever she gets obstinate around authority - an automatic brake to [stop] that and comply. "I'll get on that right away, Tessa. May as well start right now - we had the chicken and potatoes and salad earlier right? Hum hum hum..." A notebook from Seolla's duffle bag is procured, and she flips through page after page of drawings of peoples' faces - surprisingly decent pencil sketches - along with notes beneath them. A new section past an internal divider - =Dietary Log=. 19:00, February 5th, 0097. 300g salad (mixed vegetables, mostly lettuce). 180g chicken. 210g roasted potatoes. 1 liter of water. 2 pills of prescribed anti-withdrawal medication.

        She's practically sparkling and beaming from this. "I won't miss a single entry, Tessa!" And then she flips back to the prior section - beginning to carefully look back and forth between her sheet and Tessa's face, quickly outlining her basic shape and features before filling in details...

<Pose Tracker> Teletha Testarossa has posed.

She slowly wipes those tears off, a hand on that cheek to eep Seolla steady. It'll be good in the long run; Deprogramming, helping someone transition in an environment from total, complete alert to something less; Something where death isn't a thing to be worried about with every passing day.

She keeps that reassuring smile, pulling away after a few more moments. It's clear that Seolla needs someone, and hopefully, with this chain of command, and Jindai...Things will soon change. A bit of a rough transition period, but everyone has those.

"So long as you can do it and can make progress towards it. I don't think it'll change in a day, but take steps however you can, okay?" Sleep schedule, set. There's already a note to keep track of Seolla's variances; How early, how late, energy levels...Tessa's being thorough in the backend, if nothing else.

...? The sudden brake did raise a question, one vaguely noted. The galley? Of course. That was being done even before Seolla raised the question; This was partially to check on level of detail of recordings. The things that people say they know and he things that people can actually do were a vast gulf.

That being said, she can't help but look over Seolla's shoulder. "...Do you draw these on your off time, Seolla?" Sketching. This might be useful, actually...Worrying, too.

...She doesn't move for the length of that sketch. Just how much detail is in that drawing...?

<Pose Tracker> Seolla Schweizer has posed.

<poem>

       The finished drawing is...actually a little alarmingly detailed. It's an odd talent of Seolla's, it seems. Something practiced - though the notebook doesn't seem to be that big...

       -there's been a lot of lost ones-

       "Oh-! ...It's a habit I picked up...at...some point. ...there's a lot of stuff I wasn't allowed to remember, and sometimes, I'd...want to remember them anyway. So whenever I got a chance, and started meeting people, I'd draw their faces, and information about them. Never went on as long as the operation in Tsutsujidai, and I actually get to...keep this one. ...Do I even still need to do this? I did it there because I...assumed I'd just be going back where I was before. But I can't...I can't stand the idea of stopping..."

       Notes go down below it. Tessa's name - then: 'Very brilliant engineer.' 'Diligent and observant.' 'Can tell her about experiences.' 'Comfortable'- "...Ah, right, I probably should have the diet logs in a different book than this. The faces are for me to keep, but I want to give you the personal notes I take on my own activity, so I might need a few more things to write in. ...p...please don't take this away."

       ...When she finishes, though, she's quick to lay down on her bunk, staring up at the top for a few moments... "...I'm...so tired again. ...Tessa, I...just woke up a few hours ago, but...I really gotta...see you again...after..." Words trail off into dreamy murmurings...