View source for 2024-06-19: A Destructive Boon

*'''Log:''' A Destructive Boon
*'''Cast:''' [[Character :: Liam 7-020]], [[Character :: Elisa Kafim]], [[Character :: Yuliana Kafim]]
*'''Where:''' The Silent Castle (Mirrorgram)
*'''Date:''' 2024-06-19
*'''Summary''': ''Elisa summons herself to the nearest reflective surface to Liam... and Yuliana is here, too! She issues Liam with a series of questions to help her understand the world -- even though it's a difficult audience, for Liam. Yuliana helps. In the end, the boon Elisa promises Liam is simple: she will break something which blocks his path, so long as it does no harm to her or hers. But can he possibly call on a power like that...? (CW: Coercive control)''
----

[[Category:Logs]]
[[Category:Phase 2, Turn 1]]
[[Category:Phase 2]]


 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Dr. Hinoki is a busy woman, with patients all around the globe. There are days when Liam feels he doesn't deserve her attention, that he was ''impossibly'' lucky that Leina referred him to her. Now is not one of those times.

        "I can't." Liam sits on the plush, earthtone couch, in a manner of speaking. His voice is as tiny as the ball he's curled into. Dr. Hinoki stands next to him, an arm's-length away, and unclips one of the wireless leads from the back of his shoulder. "Can't do this. Not now."

        "If that's your call, then we'll stop reprocessing, for now." The doctor steps around to Liam's other side, rather than reach across him. She unclips the other lead, and Liam feels her move away. He hears the soft rustling of cushions as she seats herself opposite him. "Can you tell me what you're feeling? You made good progress last session. Has something changed?"

        Liam's head snaps up. His face is a tear-streaked mess. "I know!" he says. He takes a breath, but it turns into a sob, and he keeps sobbing. Dr. Hinoki slides over a box of tissues with all the care and grace of someone disarming a bomb. Liam's gaze flicks down to track her hand, the box, the brief intrusion into his space. He plucks a fistful of tissues, and tries to wipe away the tears and snot.

        "Square breaths," says Dr. Hinoki. "In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. Rest, two, three, four."

        Liam does what the doctor tells him to do. After four repetitions, he can unclench his hands. After six, he uncurls his legs, and stretches them. After ten, he feels composed enough to talk again.

        "I'm sorry," Liam whispers. "Something made the memory worse. Can't talk about it." His arms are crossed before him; he grips his upper arms with both hands, and squeezes.

        "You can't talk about it?"

        "It's a secret. Somebody is trouble--that--somebody could be in trouble. I promised I'd keep it secret."

        "Liam." Dr. Hinoki folds her hands. "Everything you say here will stay here. It's your call. Do you want to talk about it?"

        Silence fills the air--or something like it. Liam hears the hum of the white noise machine, the light fixtures, the breeze coming out of the vents. Fear grips him: fear of dragging someone else into Elisa Kafim's sphere of influence. He takes a few more square breaths, and reminds himself that Dr. Hinoki was a pilot, once, and knows what it's like out there.

        "Okay," Liam says.

        He tells her almost everything that Lucine told him. He leaves some of it out--the location, of course, and the exact circumstances--but he lays as much as he can on the table. His gaze stays locked on Dr. Hinoki, watching for facial cues that will tell him he's crossed a line. She doesn't give any. She simply listens, nodding here and there, as Liam speaks. Her expression is as nonjudgmental as it's ever been. It doesn't keep the tears away.

        "That woman's a minefield," Liam says, at the end of it. He mashes another wad of tissues in his hand. "Lu should've ''known'' better than to try and help. She just got hurt, and hurt her. And now--she ''reminded'' Elisa that we exist, because Yuliana will tell her, and--" Liam trails off to take another square breath. "Sorry. Just mad. Frustrated with her. With all of this." God, he's a mess. Liam reaches out and drops the tissue ball into the wastebasket.

        "Take your time," says Dr. Hinoki.

        Liam glances at the door. "Okay. I need a moment. Going to the restroom. I'll be right back."

        Five minutes later, Liam stands with his face immersed in the sink, holding his breath. His right hand rests atop the drain, slowing the outflow of water to a trickle. His heart is no longer pounding. He's held his breath for almost a minute, and he feels ready again. Liam straightens up, water sluicing off his face as he opens his eyes, and looks into the bathroom mirror.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Elisa did not need to be reminded of Liam and Lucine.  She already remembered, already went to some lengths to confirm who they were.  ...Mostly, asking her in-house intelligence expert to brief her on their names.  Parminder is so very helpful.

What she does not know, or need to know, is 'where' Liam is.  She only recalls that she spoke to the one, and so, she must speak to the other...

The bathroom mirror abrubtly fogs and then clears--and within it is Elisa Kafim, looking at Liam with reptilian green eyes.

Her expression is neutral, her scrutiny plain but not ''overtly'' threatening beyond the simple fact of her presence here.

"Liam," she say.  "I am assured hat this is your proper name, and that it is not preferred to use your numerical designation."

"I spoke with your woman.  Now, I will speak with you.  You will answer my questions, and ask your own.  In return, I will grant you a boon of my choice."

"Do you accept?"

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Parminder is ''great'' at names. He knows ''everyone's'' name. Especially that guy who gave him a fake number at the club. Watch your back, Dmitri.

        But that's him, and this is now. Distantly, off-screen, a voice chimes out. "El~yul~aaa~ I'm boooored! The boys are in ''class,'' sooo... oh," with the sound of clasps fastening, "who are you talking to?!"

        And all a sudden, Yuliana bursts into frame, embracing her wife and giving that snake-eyed woman a big ol' smooch on the cheek. Her black cloak has been hurriedly fastened more securely, for modesty's sake. (Not that she doesn't have black robes on underneath, but she can't let a stranger see her ''neck.'') She remains all up in Elisa's personal space, frill brushing her cheek as she turns her head to beam at, "... Liam! How lovely to see you!"

        She slips her hand into her wife's fingertips, as she leans forward, a little. "Oh, but dear, you don't look ''well,''" she notices, after a moment, with a brief frown of concern. "Are you sick? Do remember to take your medicine, won't you? I know it can have just the most ''terrible'' associations, but I'm sure your doctors ''now'' don't wish to harm you. Why, just like Dr. Kimura wishes to help me! Isn't that right, darling?" Yuliana asks, looking to her wife again.

        ''She'' looks well, though, in spite of Lucine's report. Her smile, returning at the end of her advice, is positively ''sunny;'' she's openly affectionate with her wife, with no hint of flinching or freezing up, despite just what kind of horror she's embracing. Her tone is cheerful, and her greatest ''concern'' is apparently being left to her own devices as her family takes care of other tasks.

        It's almost as if they're in the middle of a second honeymoon!

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Liam's eyes close for a moment, the better to focus as he takes another square breath.

        'Liam.'

        Panic shoots down his spine, like lightning. Liam's eyes snap open, meeting Elisa's. In that instant, he tries to scream. His body won't let it out, not ''quite''--old instincts tell him that at best, no one will listen to him, and at worst, they'll find some small way to discipline him. The strangled cry is drowned out by the sounds of water.

        A moment later, Liam realizes this is the call Lucine told him about. Elisa herself confirms this. Liam has a cultural rubric for this--he won't insult the Others by comparing them to Elisa, but there are similarities. Acknowledging her is dangerous. Denying her is even ''more'' dangerous. He has to play along. He has to, even if he wants to scream at her, and then run.

        Liam's hands grip the sides of the sink. He opens his mouth to answer, and then--

        "Yuliana?" His voice is a tiny squeak. "...'m taking it. Was in--therapy." She might notice the pattern in the way he starts to breathe. Water drips from his nose and chin. Liam dips his hands into the sink, and splashes his face. "I can talk, though." Will Dr. Hinoki notice? What if she comes in and sees this? (No, she's always respected his privacy, that's not going to happen.)

        "You seem okay," Liam says. Addressing Yuliana is a bit less impossible-seeming than talking to Elisa directly.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Elisa may even ''notice'' that panic, since Liam broadcasts it with his expression.  But thankfully for most, she has no ability to read the minds of the living, at a distance or otherwise.  But before he can answer...

"Ah," she says, "My Yuliana.  That is true.  I also think it likely that Liam's doctors are trying to aid him."

"That would explain your unsettled demeanor," Elisa considers of therapy.  "But I have already contacted you, so I will go on ahead.  Yes, Yuliana is well;  she has returned home.  I am aware that there was some concern..."

She doesn't follow up on that.  She's just Aware.

"Very well.  Then my first question is this:  In light of the fact that you and your woman allow yourselves to be separated... is it true that you feel you are stronger when held apart from each other, as she indicated?"

"That you can keep a relationship going while focused on different goals and locations?"

He did not technically accept her terms... but he ''did'' say he could talk.

She smiles, then.  She has the ordinary number of teeth.  "As you can see," she says, "I am intending to have a discussion with young Liam.  You are of course welcome to join us."

In fact, that might be ideal.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Oh," Yuliana says, her frill wilting a little as he reveals he was just in ''therapy.'' But before she can wonder if it's a good time -- knowing, that is, just how bad an idea it is to talk to ''her'' right after ''her'' therapy -- Elisa says she'll go on ahead, and of course Yuliana isn't going to tell her ''not'' to do what she wants. Isn't it nice that she's calling other people at all?

        Sure, it's over a mirror rather than a phone call, but be nice to her horror witch wife, Elisa is trying very hard.

        She smiles, squeezing Elisa's hand as she explains the situation. "I ''am'' okay," she picks up, where Elisa trails off. "I feel so much better now I'm home! It's always kind of stressful being away for a while, but all is well, now."

        She tilts her head, when Elisa issues her question to Liam, the tips of her frill curling in what may well be akin to question-marks. "I see, I see!" She says, as she smiles to her wife. "I'm so glad you're socialising more, my darling. Of course I'll join you!" And she's still quite sunny, as she takes the invitation, leaning on her wife as she looks into the mirror. "Since it's an interesting question, don't you think?"

        Imagine having ''different goals.''

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Water flows down the drain. Liam cups his hand beneath the faucet as Elisa speaks, then raises it to his lips. It's barely a few sips of water at best, but it's cool and pure. His throat feels less dry. Elisa feels that she might as well keep talking now that she's got him on the line? Liam's face settles into a more neutral expression now that he's gotten a handle on his panic. It's the same calm, deferent expression he wore when dealing with the doctors in the lab--he can't muster up anything else.

        "I accept your terms," Liam says, now that he can focus on Elisa without the ancient parts of his brain screaming about a predator. The first question. "'Allow' implies that... we'd stay close by, regardless of what else is important to us." The thought makes his skin crawl. He thinks back to Yuliana's accusation, relayed secondhand. Did she really think her wife would send someone to find her when she was vulnerable?

        Liam swallows down the nausea. "Our relationship is very important. But we both have relationships and duties outside it. It doesn't take away from it."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Therapy.  It's fine.  Elisa will just keep going, especially when he has that helpfully deferent expression.  Besides; he does accept her terms.  That's enough for her.

"Yes.  I was also stressed by her absence... But it is important, her health, and they were looking out for her."

Then she looks thoughtful.  "Yes," Elisa says to his initial statement.  "Of course."

"I see.  So, there are things you place as equivalent in importance to your relationship, or even greater.  Lucine indicated this as well; it is strange to me.  Why do you not simply break down the things that keep you apart, or choose a goal in common?  Is it because you lack the 'power' to make your concerns the same?"

"My Yuliana and I work together.  She wishes to help others, and so I make this a priority."

"Very well.  Ask your own question, Liam."  She squeezes Yuliana's hand.  "...I am pleased that you are pleased," she says then.  "I have also been working on art..."

But that's for later.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        Liam is polite to Yuliana's wife, and Yuliana is satisfied with that; of course she'd be angry if someone were ''rude'' to Elisa. Not that Elisa can't destroy her own transgressors, of course, but it's the ''principle'' of the matter!

        (She squeezes Elisa's hand, when she mentions her stress, in a silent show of support and closeness. She's here ''now.'')

        And then Liam answers, and Elisa considers it, and then ''Yuliana'' smiles. "It's very important to have goals which agree with each other," she adds, in support of her wife. "My Elisa and I could bear the time apart only because we both wished for my health to improve!"

        She smiles, as well, to her wife, and adds: "You're so talented, ''zhenushka...''"

        (It's a particularly fond way to refer to one's wife.)

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Liam nods. "I'm glad that Yuliana received the treatment she needed," he says. "Therapy is important. Finding someone you trust to help you, and working with them, even if it's difficult. And it takes real courage to open up to a doctor after other doctors have hurt you." A bit of mist returns to Liam's eyes. "Your wife is very brave for doing that."

        God, Liam thinks, as he chews on the second half of Elisa's question. That's telling. "That's not what I want to do," Liam says. "And that's not what she wants to do. I understand that you might be... coming at this with a... a different mindset, but to us, it's not about ''power'' anything."

        And now it's his turn. Liam swallows. "What would you do if the Empress showed up, and tried to make you return to her? By force, or otherwise?"

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Civility is so, so important in these matters.

Yuliana agrees wih her, of course.  And compliments her.  "Thank you, my darling."  That is also fond!

And Liam's words to Elisa's wife do please her.  "Yes," Elisa says.  "It is difficult.  My wife is courageous."  A pause.  "...As are you, it would seem."

But it's not what he wants to do, or what she wants to do.  "Hmmm.  I do have a different mindset," she says.  "If it were me, I would simply change the world."

Just that.

His question gets an unpleasant smile.  "I would do battle, to the best of my ability.  I confess, if it happened ''now'', I would be at a disadvantage.  Nevertheless, 'strength' is truth, and I have prepared for that eventuality.  ...And have more preparation yet to come."

She strokes Yuliana's arm.  "We have decided this together.  It is part of why I speak to you now."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "It is... very hard, yes," Yuliana agrees. "But Dr. Kimura has treated me well." And when Elisa points out that ''Liam'' fought those same battles, at least, Yuliana agrees: "My Elisa is right! You've done so well for yourself, Liam."

        What does it say that it took Elisa's prompting? (Permission.)

        It's simple, isn't it?

        But Liam asks about the Empress, and ''now'' Yuliana frowns, drawing closer to her wife -- Elisa knows her well, to start on comforting her ''immediately,'' with such a frightening topic. "If She showed up now... we'd have no choice but to fight," is her perspective on it, and they're not ''quite'' the same, placed together. "We made our decision."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        "Thank you," Liam says. He takes another square breath as Elisa processes his answer. 'Simply change the world'. That's a horrifying thought. If he or Lucine had the kind of power Elisa has, would they think that way, too? "The two of us can--" Another breath, as he steadies himself. (He noticed how Yuliana waited, there.) "We can only change what we can. That's part of why we fight."

        "Understood." Liam pauses, then corrects the trained response. "I understand. I don't want her to... to have her way with anyone, either. It was like the lab but worse. I think you're right to want to fight her."

        And now, for the question Liam didn't want to ask. "Do you have any more questions, Dr. Kafim?"

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

It doesn't matter what that says.  They have afforded Liam a Compliment.  That is good enough.  he question, though, "Hmmm.  Yes.  You do not have the 'power' that we do.  Your reach is more limited.  A pity you lack the ambition to grasp for more."

It's very simple.  But Elisa keeps Yuliana within her range of protection through the next discussion.  And Liam... agrees with them.  "I am pleased that you see the necessity," Elisa says, which is like but distinct from 'thank you'.  She does not comment on the difference between she and Yuliana's perspectives.  Instead...

"I do," she says.  "We speak of tormentors and masters.  What would you do, given the 'power' to destroy your own?  Given the strength to do whatever you wished in return to those who have hurt you?"

"I wonder that."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "A pity," Yuliana agrees, easily, with her wife. "Still, it is good that you use what reach you have. You aren't ''powerless,'' either... you know, I looked up that Dianthus, after your woman yelled at ''me'' for taking it? Utterly baffling at the time, I'd never heard of the thing, but it turns out it's quite the storied machine -- amongst Spacenoids, anyway. No wonder she was cross!"

        The worst part is, she's trying to ''compliment'' them.

        Yuliana smiles, when Elisa is pleased, and lets her wife speak for them. There aren't ''that'' many differences, apparently. Just a few small snags... but isn't that to be expected, in a marriage between the Divine and mortality?

        Elisa has another question, as well -- about what Liam would do if he ''had'' power. And Yuliana smiles, leaning on her wife and squeezing her hand. "I wonder, as well," she says, and remains in agreement.

        They get along so well.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Liam cups his hand beneath the faucet again, and the sink pours water into it. It's just a little, this time, and he lets it spill between his fingers. He takes a breath, and focuses on that, rather than Elisa's judgment. His right eye tics, anyway. He doesn't ''need'' the kind of ambition Elisa seems to value. (And that's why he's going to be powerless forever, says his horrid little inner voice.)

        Or--are they?

        "Her father gave it to her," Liam says. "He hasn't been seen since the Lizards invaded." His skin crawls, anyway.

        Elisa turns Liam's question on its head, and sends it right back. Again, there's a subtle little tic of Liam's right eye. His whole expression starts to tighten. It isn't just the Crucible's staff he's thinking of, though they're absolutely the first to come to mind. It's Emperor Charles. It's House Trevelyan. It's whatever horrid mess is left of Neo-Zeon. If he could bring Haman Karn and her murderous underlings back from the dead, just to make them suffer, would he? And why stop there? Obliterate the Lizards' drone fleet. Carve up the Benerit Group and send its horrible little scions down to Earth to actually ''struggle'' for a living.

        Liam's hands grip the edges of the sink for balance. Metal creaks. "I'd make sure they wouldn't hurt anyone else," he finally says. "Ever again. But it's--more than just the ''people''. They got away with it because everything is broken."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

It's totally a compliment.  He ''isn't'' powerless.  Elisa has seen that much; it has been enough to keep her interest.  And hearing that about her father... Well.  "Yes, it makes sense that she would treasure it so.  Sentiment is a powerful motivator for many.  ...And it is a fine machine."

But Liam responds to her question first with his face and then with his voice.  She cannot read his thoughts, but she can see his eyes.  Yes...

Metal creaks.  He is passionate about this response.

"Yes," she says.  "Yes, I rather imagine you would.  ''That'' is ambition.  That is what requires 'power'."

She looks to Yuliana.  "I did this, for some of those who tormented my wife.  But not all.  She was merciful in her judgement."

"...You may be aware.  The boon that I offered to your woman is your safety, when next you oppose my or my allies' aims.  You will not die in that battle."

"...But my boon to you is different.  You say that everything is broken... and you are right."

"When you want something broken to your ''benefit''--Broken, because it is in your way, because it is 'morally' wrong, because you on a whim wish to destroy--"

"Then, you may call upon me.  Should it not threaten me or mine..."

"I will 'break' something in your path."

"That is all.  Be well, Liam.  And consider the words that we have exchanged."

"My Yuliana, do you have anything you wish to say?"

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        "Oh? Then of course she would be attached," Yuliana says, when Liam tells her ''why'' she was so angry about the Dianthus. "Though she oughtn't have snapped at ''me'' about it," she adds, pouting briefly, before she assures him: "But of course filial piety has merit." She's being ''quite'' fair, she thinks. She didn't have anything to do with the theft, but she's ''still'' recognising its importance to Lucine. She should get an ''award.''

        ... metal creaks, and Yuliana smiles.

        "It is broken," she agrees. "And I still care for this world. I will right what wrongs I find, before it's time to leave... though I fear I'll leave the work unfinished." She sighs, as she asks: "There's so ''much'' to be done, isn't there?"

        She looks to her wife, and smiles, reaching up to cup her cheek. "There are some," she agrees, "who have suffered enough. You don't need to kill Dr. Petrov, darling... I'm sure she's sorry for her choice of employment already." Who is --

        What happened to --

        Her hand lowers, to Elisa's shoulder, as she turns back to look into the mirror as Elisa makes her offering. "Isn't my wife so wonderfully generous...?" She murmurs, smiling.

        "Do assure your woman there's no hard feelings," is what she says to Liam, when Elisa offers her the stage, "though I wish we'd met under less... embarrassing circumstances. I'm grateful to her for passing along my wife's burden, when I was too wrapped in my own problems to see her own."

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Of course there's no apology. Not for engineering the theft, or for the innocent clerk who was killed in the crossfire. Not for making them fight one of their kaiju to get it back. Bitterness curdles in Liam's heart. He takes another square breath.

        "...Time to leave...?" he murmurs, his brow pinching in sudden worry. What does that mean? Liam doesn't have much time to think on it. He was half expecting Elisa to make an offer like that, but it surprises him anyway. "I," he says, and the word is a little squeak. The anger hasn't ''left'', per se--it's just been shoved into the wings as fear takes center stage. "I will consider," Liam says. "And I'll pass it on." Even as a sudden stomach-churning dread grips him. Lu, he thinks, what did you ''do''?!

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Elisa Kafim has posed.
<poem>

Elisa does not often apologize.

"Much indeed.  Until we and the worthy who would go with us depart to the Void..."

"I believe you shall accomplish much, my darling."  Then she looks to Liam, as he speaks.  Time to leave, indeed.

"Very well," Elisa says.  "The offer remains open.  Take it, or do not.  It is your choice."

"Choice is the very beginning of 'power'."

"Come, my darling.  We go."

She lifts a hand--and the mirror fogs over, swirling with green light until it is only Liam's reflection once again.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Yuliana Kafim has posed.
<poem>

        What does Yuliana have to apologise for? Like she said, she didn't even ''know'' about the Dianthus, until she looked it up. She ''still'' doesn't know about whoever that dead clerk was. Lucine was just yelling at her for no reason!

        But perhaps she'll forgive her, eventually.

        Since the reason she was yelling at Yuliana... is surely because she was combining her will and actions with Elisa's.

        And isn't that, ultimately, a ''good'' thing?

        It's good when they're judged as one unit.

        Perhaps she and her wife will speak on this... and she will come to peace with Lucine's anger.

        Later.

        For now, she smiles as Liam questions their leaving, allowing Elisa to explain. "Be well," she offers, to Liam, as her wife lifts her hand -- and they go.

</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Liam 7-020 has posed.
<poem>

        Liam keeps his full attention on the mirror until the vision fades. He's left staring into his own face, and his eyes are still bloodshot from all the crying. He takes a few more square breaths, and splashes more water on his face. He can feel his guts twisting, anyway. Yuliana and Elisa, together again, so deeply-enmeshed it's like they'd never even been apart. Ever.

        It's easy for Liam to think of another, instead of himself. ''Anything'' but thinking about his own rage, and the truths he told Elisa in the name of their deal. ''Anything'' but thinking what he'd ask of her, if he dared call in that favor.

        He wouldn't. It would be reckless, and stupid, and evil, and it would make him wish he'd never been born. He'd never do it.

        Would he?
</poem>