View source for 2023-05-31: It Isn't 'Normal'

*'''Log:''' It Isn't 'Normal'
*'''Cast:''' [[Character :: Ruri Hoshino]], [[Character :: Eight York]]
*'''Where:''' The Nadesico
*'''Date:''' 2023-05-31
*'''Summary''': ''Eight and Ruri talk about Leina, in the wake of the revelations at Dakar.''
----

[[Category:Logs]]
[[Category:Phase 1, Turn 3]]


 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        The Nadesico... has things to do.

        Reports. Data sets. Analysis.

        Minato's taking it pretty hard. Megumi is, too. Goat's grimmer than usual, not that most people could tell. Akito's retreated to his room. Omoikane says he's sulking, there.

        Ruri remains at her station.

        The Nadesico has things to do.

        Beside Erina, for once, she works; the Nadesico is berthed, but much of this analysis requires the tools of her station. Surrounded by a dozen holographic windows -- a 'bowl' -- data streams around her. 01001101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01001110 00100000 01000101... is it like that?

        They're not crying about it.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

The Ra Mari II is in need of some repairs, as wll as some restocking.  They carry much of what they need, but the chance to resupply instead of relying fully on those resources is one they'll take for sure.  ...The crew is subdued.  But they have their orders, and Eight has put Rezza in charge of handling matters for now--not that they're not usually on top of maintaining the needs of the crew.

Eight York, instead, has decided to go over to the Nadesico.  It's important to maintain good relations between their ships, even moreso right now, at a time like this.  And it technically counts as resting...

Kind of.

Eight walks over, and makes her way to the bridge, stepping out onto it like she's the captain of a sister ship in the Alliance, which--is exactly the case.  She was told...

"Ruri?" Eight wonders, and looks to--ah, there.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Captain York," Jun Aoi greets her, with a nod. She's (a) Captain on deck, so he has to maintain ''some'' formality. (The 3SA is close-knit enough that one's Captains ''can'' approach each other's decks without much worry. How much of that is the Nadesico being carefree is up for debate.) "We're just handling operational reports, here. Oh -- right there," he nods, down, to the lower level, when he hears who she's looking for.

        Ruri is occupied in her data bowl, of course. Hands pressed to her console -- she doesn't appear to be ''typing,'' in there -- she works at an alarming pace.

        Erina Kinjo Won, dry, glances beside her. "You won't get her attention so meekly," she points out, and she is not as warm as Eight's friend at the helm. "Besides, can't you see she's occupied?" Erina's bossiness and insistence on constant hard work is... a known quantity.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

"Mr. Aoi," York replies, nodding to him as well.  A lot of the formality comes from the way that the RMII at least still runs mostly like a military ship, for all that it has a lot of civilians on it now. He explains what they're doing, "I see.  Carry on, then."  She won't stop him. But Ruri is pressed to the data bowl, and Erina...

"Ms. Won," Eight greets pleasantly.  "It's nice to see you.  And you know, you're right!"  Erina's nature is indeed a known quantity, but Eight is used to dealing with bureaucracy.  Not ''everyone'' just gets out of her way when they see the Captain's hat or the maternity uniform, after all.

Eight steps down, and turns toward Ruri.  Then, with a winning smile at Erina, she says, "Ruri!  It's time for a break."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

                        < RURI-RURI ALERT >

        Unfortunately for Erina, Eight has a ''secret weapon:'' Omoikane flashes up a window in the middle of the data bowl. "Huh?" Ruri asks, looking up, and then poking her twin-tails ''out'' of the bowl. It's --

        It's adorable, actually.

        "Oh," she blinks. "Captain York. Hello."

        (In the background, Erina says, "isn't it childish to use your computer as an excuse?", because not ''everyone'' on the Nadesico recognises that Omoikane is Omoikane. Just ignore her.)

        "Ruri, why don't you go have lunch?" Jun suggests, from the upper deck. "We can handle things here for a while."

        "Um..." Ruri starts, settling back down in her seat to look at her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and her screen and

                        < LEAVE IT TO ME >

        The most important screen of all, of course, is Omoikane's vital messaging.

        "Okay," Ruri says, and pressing her hands to her console, she dismisses the data bowl. She stands, and steps out, with a nod which becomes half a bow to Erina and Jun. "I'm going now, but I'll be back." It's the sort of statement you'd hear in any Japanese office when a coworker steps out for an errand -- less so in a ''military'' environment, but the Nadesico is a civilian ship, after all.

        Luckily, Ruri has very short legs, so she doesn't notice if Eight is walking any slower than normal.

        Ms. Howmei, luckily, is always prepared for any culinary emergency. Including (but not limited to!) a pregnant woman entering her lair -- cafeteria. Her cafeteria. Ruri will bring her a tray so she can sit down! There's a chocolate muffin and a can of orange juice on there, too, but she retrieves those for ''herself'' once she sits.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

It's ''so'' adorable.  Eight smiles more, because it's a genuine smile and not a 'i'm going to out-smile your grumpiness' smile.  "Hello, Ruri," she greets.  And Eight ignores Erina's comment about childishness entirely.  As expected!

"Thank you," she says to Jun while Ruri is looking at her screens, smiles again at Erina, and follows Ruri out.  She has STOLEN their operator.  It'll be fine.

Eight is actually walking a little slower than normal.  Imagine how much more trouble she'll have in a few months!  ...Maybe don't, yet.  But as they go to the cafeteria...

Eight smiles at Ms. Howmei, too, with a wave.  And the culinary emergency is, "I'm really really wanting..."

Eight's tray will contain a sandwich of ham, dill pickle, and raspberry jam, with some eggs.  And some milk for this one.

"Thank you for coming out with me, Ruri," Eight says once the girl has brought their trays over.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        Erina is, as expected, terribly grumpy about losing her. "Do you know how ''long'' it's going to take us to file these without --" she can be heard lashing Jun, as they leave the bridge.

        It's fine, Jun can handle it. Probably.

        "Weird," is Ruri's assessment of Eight's lunch, with a withering look to the jam dripping off the ham. She doesn't have to say it so straight-up..! And yet, she has. Nibble, she takes a bite of muffin. Nom, nom.

        "It's okay," she says, once she's swallowed that down. "The only reason we're still working on this is so many people took sick leave. It's not an extraordinary amount of work."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

Eight believes in Jun!  When she remembers to think about him.

Ruri calls it weird and Eight laughs.  "It's good for you!" she says.  "Well, good for me, anyway.  You'd be surprised at how the flavors come together."  She doesn't have to say it that way, and yet, she has.  Eight takes it in good humor.  She is tempted to also get a muffin though...

"I see," Eight answers of people taking sick leave.  "That makes sense.  Recent events have been hard on everyone.  Fewer are taking leave on my ship, but I see their difficulty. ...Of course, they all but ran me off once I finished my share..."  She would've done more.  But she understands the need to not tax herself too much, too.

"...How about you?" Eight wonders.  "How are you feeling?"  For someone else, she might leave it at that.  But for Ruri, she feels it's best to share too, instead of just asking questions.  "...I'm sad," Eight admits.  "Even though I believe that they can be saved, to think of what they've had to go through..."  She shakes her head.  "It's hard, when something that looked like victory turns into a loss.  It's hard on everyone."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        About whom?

        "No thank you. I don't have to know everything." That might have been a victory to get out of the resident tiny genius, but no, Ruri just doesn't want to know what Eight's abomination of a sandwich tastes like.

        She supposes it makes sense that there are fewer sick days being taken on the Ra Mari II; they ''are'' military, after all. "It's okay, I'm not sick," she says, to Eight, which -- well, meets the essential literal standards of their contextual conversation.

        But Eight starts talking about her ''feeling'' feelings, and a light frown crosses Ruri's face. "Oh.

        "Yeah."

        She takes another bite of muffin.

        "It reminds me of when we went to Mars. Well, we broke out of the Big Barrier so we could go and help people, but in the end, we just got a lot of people killed. Lucine-san was very angry... but the Explainer Lady just accepted it. The Captain managed to give the order, in the end, but she wasn't okay about it. Akito-san, too. There were a lot of people from Mars here when we killed a lot of people from Mars. But there were more sick days than just them."

        Nibble, nibble. Ruri contemplates her muffin, distantly. "Ms. Ashta told me... well, I guess that was fake, too." She dismisses the feeling, and polishes off her morning snack.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

"Hmmm.  All right."  Eight will keep the sandwich for herself!  ...Which she would've anyway, probably.  She seems to enjoy it, and maybe that's what counts?  It's fine.

Eight is glad Ruri isn't sick of course, but that is not what she meant.  As Ruri realizes soon enough, perhaps to her dismay.  Eight takes the time to eat some sandwich as Ruri gathers her thoughts and speaks.

"...I guess Dr. Fressange is like that," Eight considers.  "But I see... I can see where it would remind you of that."  People weren't okay about it.  Of course.  Eight listens to that, and thinks about the feelings of civilians forced into decisions like that.

But Ruri mentions Leina, and Eight looks down.  "I don't think everything she had to say was fake," Eight says.  "She claims it was all of her own free will... But I don't believe that.  People who are controlled say all the time that they're not under control.  More than that... I spoke with her.  I couldn't tell what was wrong, despite my own experiences... But I won't believe that it all didn't mean anything."

"Do you mind telling me what she said to you?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "She said I should be careful of the Manhunters, since they don't like us. I guess that wasn't fake, since I looked it up, and really don't think they'd like us." Ruri reaches over to grasp her can of orange juice, and takes a second to figure out how to crack the seal. Those little fiddly tabs are --

        Oh, no, she's got it. ''Pshh,'' goes the juice, and Ruri sips. "I guess that's why she was able to get away from them when she was caught, though. Since Vist is a powerful corporation. Probably they just asked for her back." It hasn't escaped Ruri that this is, essentially, the position she's in with ''Nergal.'' Anyway.

        "Well, she talked about who Omoikane ''like''-liked, and about other people who knew how machines were feeling, too. I don't know if I should talk about that part, though." Does Ruri realise how ambiguous that statement is? No, she's not old enough to be ''that'' devious, yet. Maybe one day. "And how she crewed a ship when she was young, too. And how Dr. Mass was doing."

        Ruri frowns down at her can of orange juice. (Ms. Howmei has been trying to get her into freshly-squeezed juice anytime she has fresh fruit at hand, but it's futile.) "But she talked to me about the Banshee, too. She told me a girl called Elpeo was in there. And that's who tried to grab me, when I asked the Banshee..." She quiets, and shakes her head. "She got very upset when I wondered whether Mr. Links would die, too, like the people in the Banshee and the Phenex. She said she wouldn't let that happen. ... it was weird."

        Her shoulders droop, just so. "But she still kind of scares me. When I first met her, she almost shot someone just for his reputation." That person was Dr. Hell, but apparently that doesn't factor into ''Ruri's'' analysis. "So I didn't ask her about it. Well, it seemed like I'd just said something insensitive, too... I guess I was embarrassed, so I didn't say anything." Ruri sighs, gold eyes fixed on that orange can. "I feel like if I'd said something, people would have known. And Mrs. Carbine wouldn't have been able to do that to everyone." For all her genius wit, of course, Ruri's failed to calculate the most important thing here: no one would have found it particularly strange that a young woman was upset by being told her boyfriend was soon to die.

        Hindsight's a fool.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

"True," Eight says.  "The Manhunters are trouble."

Pshhh.  Eight finishes her sandwich.  She looks thoughtfully at Ruri.  She is also not unaware that this is Ruri's position on the matter.  "I'd assumed she had good lawyers, but..."  It may have been that, indeed.  And Omoikane?  And--"It's fine if you don't think you should," Eight says, rather than pressing for details on either topic.

"..Yes, she was on a ship when she was younger.  I remember.  We talked about whether it's all right for me to have children on a ship like this..."

But Ruri, of course, has her can.  And Elpeo... Eight is quiet, too.  It's weird?  Eight can see in hindsight why that might seem weird.  But Ruri, the way her shoulders droop--

"I remember that."  She almost shot Dr. Hell.  But suddenly what Ruri is saying clicks for Eight, and Eight looks a little stricken as it does.  Of course, Ruri blames herself, because...

"No," Eight says seriously.  "That's not your fault.  Maybe it could've been a clue, and maybe not, but we weren't thinking in the right patterns to 'figure it out' in advance.  ...And it's not healthy or good to focus on 'what ifs'."

"Please, don't blame yourself.  She surprised all of us.  It's Vist's fault, not any of ours.  Most of us have things we can look back on in this situation and go 'oh, if I'd thought of this...' but there's nothing we can do about what we didn't do.  Only what we do now."

Would people have listened to Ruri anyway?  Probably not, but Eight doesn't want to inspire helplessness.  So instead, "It's just... it's very important not to blame yourself."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "That's what I thought, too," Ruri says, on Leina's alleged lawyers. "Since she's Dr. Mass's ward. But this way makes more sense to me." Of course Vist taking their assets back makes more sense to ''her.''

        But Eight insists that all she's saying isn't ''her'' fault, and Ruri, who is a remarkably responsible girl for a thirteen-year-old, looks over to her with a troubled expression. (It's not ''much'' of a troubled expression; she doesn't emote loudly. But it's there, in the arc of her brow and the pain in her eyes, for a practiced eye to see.)

        "A long time ago, Miss Langley told me that since I'm a prodigy, people don't just expect me to succeed. They need it. I don't know if she'd say the same thing, now, but I still think about it sometimes. I'm someone who can think in a lot of patterns other people can't use so easily. So it's difficult for me not to wonder." One heel hooks over the other, underneath the bench, and Ruri's toes scuff the floor in her distinctive metal shoes. "Ms. Ashta needed help, and I didn't help her. I even made her explain that machine they made her fight in. I don't feel good about that."

        The sound of metal on metal stills. "She talked a lot about who she liked, and who everyone on the Nadesico liked, and what it meant to like someone. It was a normal thing for a teenager to talk about. It was all... very normal." Melancholy, Ruri says: "I guess it always feels normal."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

"Mm."  It would, to Ruri.  Unfortunately, Eight sees the sense in it too.  She tries not to think that way as a rule, but she's familiar with the ideas.

Eight's eye is practiced enough; she sees it in Ruri, the way it gives her difficulty... and there's Miss Langley, again.  That girl...

She frustrates Eight.  Badly.  But she has to set that aside, for now, and focus on Ruri instead.

"People do tend to put those they think of as 'special' on pedestals."  Eight has it, too; she's not the same as Ruri, but she's young for her post, young to be helping lead a rebellion.  "That's a useful way of being able to think.  But if you let yourself get trapped in wondering, you'll miss more."  She considers Ruri's obvious discomfort, and sighs.

"...I don't feel good about missing it either," Eight admits.  "I was focused on myself.  On..."  Well, obviously.

"We talked a lot about things like that too," Eight says.  "And her and Banagher, me and Lavhi..."  She shakes her head.  "It was normal.  I guess that's part of what bothers me," she admits.  "The things we talked about... They're not for Vist to know.  They're not to be 'used' like that.  And neither is she."  Eight's hand curls, into a fist, as she thinks of it.

Then she relaxes, shakes her head again.  "We'll help her.  Then we don't have to think of 'what if'."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "That's true," Ruri sighs, too. She can see the logic in what Eight's saying, about how wondering is its own trap.

        Her fingers tighten, around her can, as she listens to Eight work through her thoughts.  "Yeah," she agrees. "The Captain wouldn't give up. So I won't, either."

        She takes another sip.

        "... but I didn't think about how Vist knows all that, now." Ruri frowns. "I guess Ms. Ashta wouldn't be used to the electroencephalogram scanning, either," which says more about what ''Ruri'' thinks of when she thinks of human experimentation, but anyway. "So they know everything about that, now... I guess I talk about this stuff too easily. I hope I didn't put anyone in danger." She's worried about Kaworu, but she's not going to ''say'' that, not in so many words.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

"Good," Eight says, of not giving up.  "I'm sure she wouldn't.  Yurika's really an inspiration."

She winces, when she realizes that she gave Ruri ''more'' to worry about rather than less, but she can't just not engage with Ruri; she'll find things to worry about on her own anyway.  Better to be able to talk about it with her.

"...I imagine that Vist already knows a lot about that kind of thing," Eight admits.  "If they were primarily using Leina to gather data on us, I think they'd be going about it differently.  For better or worse, that's just not their aim.  Talking about things like this... Well, you can't go through life paranoid all the time.  It's no way to live."

Her expression softens.  "I hope not, too.  But we'll just have to work harder to protect everyone."

She glances down, then, at herself.  "A world like this... I have to believe we can still make things better.  So I will."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "She's a fool," Ruri says, of Yurika, "but I guess that's not bad."

        Ruri is ''very'' good at finding things to worry about, being fair. Worries are the plague of an inquisitive mind. Still -- she does relax a little, hearing Eight's logic. "Okay," she agrees, fingers untensing. "That makes sense."

        She takes a breath, and puts her can down, for a moment. Flexes her fingers. Looks down at her hands. There's that IFS tattoo, on her hand. It should make her more aggressive, but it doesn't. "When things like this happen," she says, "everyone gets depressed. It's hard to think anything can be good, I guess. I just keep working." She's quiet, for a moment, after that.

        "But..." Ruri starts, looking up. "If it was really 'a world like this', it wouldn't be shocking, I think. What happened to Ms. Ashta, it's not normal. Maybe it's not unique, either, but if it were the way the world's supposed to work, the bridge wouldn't be so empty now." All those sick days. No one's ''physically'' ill. "The normal conversations hurt because what happened isn't normal. And since it's not normal, I'm sure we can fix the issue. It's just troubleshooting, but for society instead of computer systems."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

Eight smiles.   Yurika is very special.

She's glad that she can reassure if only a little, though.  Eight does notice the IFS tattoo now and then, of course; she's looked up what the expected side effects are, specifically because of Ruri.  "I try to maintain a brave face, for the crew," Eight says of these things.  "But in private, I lean on friends.  None of us can do all of this alone.  ...I keep working, too."

Ruri elaborates, though--and Eight finds herself seeing what she says.  "...That's true," the Captain decides, after a few moments.  "It's not normal.  And the fact that we all have so much trouble with it, that's the proof."  She's just repeating her, really, but it helps her cement it in her mind, too.  "Thanks, Ruri.  I was getting worried, myself.  I talk a big game, but I'm..."  She shakes her head.  "Well, I'm thinking a lot about what kind of world I'm bringing my babies into, now."

"But you're just right."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        Ruri nods, looking to Eight briefly, when she says she works through it, too. They're alike, that way.

        "I think anyone would worry about that," she's willing to excuse Eight's worries, too. "But if we judge the world by the worst people in it, that's overlooking everyone else, I think. Ms. Ashta said that Elpeo wasn't a bad girl, but she just needed chances to be good. It seems like the Earth Sphere's that way, too."

        She tilts her head, looking to Eight again. "Well, now we have a chance to be good to Ms. Ashta, too. So by that logic, I don't suppose we're bad girls, either."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Eight York has posed.
<poem>

And in both cases, maybe they should stop and take a break.  But, well, that's what they're doing!

"Yes," Eight agrees.  "I think so, too.  We just need... to give people a chance to be good.  And they'll do it."  She smiles.

Bad girls... "I don't think we are," Eight says.  "We'll be good to her."  She nods.  "...Heh."

It's funny, but...

"Thanks, Ruri.  I can count on you to think things through.  And to be good company, too."  She considers.  "...Think Ms. Howmei's got any more of those muffins?" she wonders.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Well, it's not like you don't think at all, either." Ruri, you can just say that Eight also thinks things through. You can just say that!

        But Ms. Howmei, who is ''remarkably'' keen to all food desires, leans out from the kitchen and calls: "Muffins? There's a whole batch back here!"

        Enough muffins for Eight... and for Ruri to have ''second muffin.''

        Maybe the world really isn't all bad, after all.
</poem>