View source for 2023-05-11: How 'Old' Are You?!

*'''Log:''' How 'Old' Are You?!
*'''Cast:''' [[Character :: Ruri Hoshino]], [[Character :: Emalya Zamana]]
*'''Where:''' Nergal Corporate Holdings -- The Moon
*'''Date:''' 2023-05-11
*'''Summary''': ''Ruri meets a fellow Nergal employee and learns that she's, like, SO old. She also learns other things about Emalya, like her family, the family she's lost, and why she's fighting now.''
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[[Category:Logs]]
[[Category:Phase 1, Turn 3]]


 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        3SA has plenty of interests, on the Moon -- primarily the Nadesico, through Nergal, whose corporate holdings and research are impressive. It's Nergal business which has brought the Nadesico here today, as Mr. Prospector insists that they have to make a ''delivery'' of a certain package. What's in the box? Never mind that.

        It is a ''complicated'' handover, though, which has seen the Nadesico berthing in one of Nergal's operational facilities. Minato Haruka, one of the Nadesico's helmswomen, has insisted that the South Gate Moon Cake here is to ''die'' for --

        So, obviously, she's dragged the Littlest Operator In Nergal's Employ off to the southern gate cafe to try it.

        "I'm working," Ruri tried to protest.

        "This is more important!", Minato insisted.

        And then Omoikane decided Ruri deserved cake, and, well, that was that.

        Capitalism makes for nice ''facilities,'' at least, so this cafe is warm and pleasant affair. Minato and Ruri eat cake together, and chat about nothing important at all, as is the fashion on their ship. But then, Minato's phone rings, and she pouts down at its screen with painted lips.

        "Haa, what a pain..." Minato puffs out a breath, in an aggrieved sigh. "Ruri-ruri, do you mind if I take this? I won't be far."

        "I'm a teenager now," Ruri points out, stoic. "You don't have to watch me, Minato-san."

        "No, no, it's just rude to step away! But it's fine, right? You're a peach!" With a wink and a smile, Minato stands from her cleared plate and moves off to a quieter place to take her call.

        ... even if Ruri insists she doesn't have to keep an eye on her, Minato is, in fact, still keeping an eye on her over there. But, you know. Subtly.

        Ruri goes on eating her cake; she's a slower eater than Minato is, but that doesn't mean the Moon Cake is ''bad.''


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Nergal facilities are noted for having Nergal employees.  That much is known.  ...But they are ''not'' particularly known for their tiny teenagers!

A certain employee was ''also'' here for the cake, but she happens to spot something while she's in line.  She tilts her head, looking over to the girl alone.

"Ma'am?"

Emalya looks back to the clerk, "Oh, thank you!  That's all I needed.  Your cake is very good!  I am having more!"

She smiles brightly and then steps back, taking her plate and fork and cake and looking around for a seat...

no, she's looking at that girl!!

"Hello!" A blue-haired woman says to Ruri as she steps closer, with the pointed ears of a Meltrandi.  "It is very good cake, isn't it?"

She does see that there's another plate there, but...

Whoever stepped aside would surely appreciate someone keeping an eye on her child!

She has a nametag!  It identifies her as E. Zamana, and a Nergal employee.  Specifically, her clearance reads 'SMS'...


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        Minato certainly spies the Meltrandi going to sit with Ruri! She's not worried just about that, though, so she doesn't end her phone call to get in the way. She's ''much'' more fond of offering people freedom than certain men she's dating who are ''deeply'' frustrating sometimes.

        Besides, Ruri could stand to make some more friends.

        Not that she's very ''good'' at it. Her hair is -- well, it has the ''memory'' of blueness; pale to white, there's still a distinct lapis lazuli shade to her twintails, which helps it stand out against her deeply pale ''skin.'' And her gold eyes, which are utterly unmoved, as she looks up to Emalya. "Yes," she agrees, with the Meltrandi, mildly.

        (Her own Nergal uniform has a nametag, identifying her as R. Hoshino -- Nadesico clearance.)

        "I haven't had much cake outside the Nadesico. I still like Ms. Howmei's better, but this is okay. It's very fluffy. And it's damper than other cakes I've had." The word is moist, Ruri! It's moist!

        There's a pause, as she takes another spoonful of cake. Give her a minute...

        Ruri swallows, and remembers to say: "I'm Ruri Hoshino. Nadesico Systems Operator. It's nice to meet you." If Minato wasn't distracted by that phone call, she'd be so proud..!!


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Emalya is pale, too--but then, it might be more accurate to say she's a bit greenish.  She waits, though, for Ruri to answer, and her smile widens once she does.  She even starts to explain to her about the cake itself, and its resemblance to other cakes!

R. Hoshino...

"Cake is wonderful!" Emalya enthuses.  "An entire form of food devoted not primarily to nutrition, but to taste and texture!  It is a marvelous invention."  Pause.  "Damper... Yes.  It is very damp.  And I also enjoy the frosting."

She doesn't eat hers yet.  She's standing!  But Ruri introduces herself.  "I am Emalya Zamana, pilot with the Stragetic Military Services."  Ruri is so... CUTE.  And Emalya practically radiates friendly waves.  "It is also nice to be meeting you!  May I sit?  I am fairly good company!"

And she doesn't want to leave Ruri alone... "Of course," she says, "I have not been with the SMS for very long.  I was in office work before that.  So I still sometimes have the urge to bring coffee to meetings..." (She jokes?)

"It is impressive to be operating a system like the Nadesico's!  When I was younger I had only a single machine to pilot, not an entire ship!"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        Green around the gills...

        (Not that Meltrandi have gills. Ruri looked it up!)

        "I like it," Ruri decides, on this form of food with no practical function. And she listens as Emalya enthuses more, introductory-wise, and her head tilts to the left just ''so.'' "Okay."

        It's as simple as that! Ruri might be a genius, but she still doesn't have a very well-developed sense of stranger danger. Besides, Emalya seems friendly enough. And she notices: "Minato-san used to work in an office, too. I guess it's a hard environment, if so many people go from office work to combat."

        Ruri... might have an oversized opinion of how tough the office actually is. Being fair, she's never worked in one!

        She blinks, and nods -- expression gentled, though she doesn't get as far as ''smiling.'' (She doesn't seem like a child who smiles much.) "I trained to operate the Nadesico for a long time," she explains, "so it would be a waste to have me operate a single Aestivalis instead. But Mr. Biaggi," Gary Biaggi, of the AEU, if she's familiar, "taught me how to fly a Messer, and I piloted one with Minato-san, once. It was for a movie," she adds, in clarification, "it wasn't a real fight, or anything."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Emalya also likes it.  She is pleased to share this with Ruri.  And it is as simple as that!  There is such a thing as stranger danger, but Emalya herself is much less used to it.  Though she would have approved of Ruri's wariness had she refused her... she also approves of her friendliness!

"Ah, so?" the Meltrandi wonders.  "It can be!  I did not mind it so much, though.  Combat of course is easier in many respects, but I do not..."  She trails off, considering.  "Well, it is easier in many ways."

It's almost a smile!! "Did you?" Emalya asks of the Nadesico.  "I suppose that that is true!  My training in operating ships is something I never completed."  Mr. Biaggi... "Oh, wider experience is always valuable!" she says. "The Messer is a good machine."

And then, "Ah, so you were in a movie!  That is wonderful!  I adore movies.  I have seen many!"  She then smiles.  "My son wished to be in movies.  But he moved to a different dream instead.  I am glad that you have had this opportunity!"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Operating a ship is a lot different to flying a machine," Ruri agrees. "I was surprised how different it felt. When I'm working with Omoikane, we're not really in much danger. It's very difficult to destroy the Nadesico through the Distortion Field, and because the Nadesico is so large, even attacks which get through have to deal with a lot of armour. But in a Messer, there's just a thin hull between me and the world. They worry about it a lot, too... they really want to escape from danger."

        Why is she talking about the machine as if it has feelings? No reason, probably.

        She nods. "Bird Human," she says -- it recently released, and it was a big hit! Nergal was involved in the production, too, which explains why Ruri was there. "I did technical support, but one day they needed stunt pilots, and I thought it would be fun to try. It was fun," she adds, a beat later. Her tone doesn't shift from stoic, so maybe it's a good thing she's just explaining her feelings, here.

        Ruri tilts her head, though, considering the ''last'' thing she heard there. "... you have kids?" She asks, and actually ''does'' sound surprised, through her mild exterior.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Omoikane... Hmm!  Emalya recognizes that 'Omoikane' doesn't get the same honorific as Minato did, but that doesn't entirely explain the difference for her.  Omoikane must be a comrade on the Nadesico!  "Yes, I see.  There is much danger, in piloting a unit."  She pauses.  They want to escape from danger...?  "Do they?" the Meltrandi wonders.

But Bird Human!  "Ahhh, yes," Emalya answers, "Then perhaps I saw your scenes!  I was able to view that movie!  I enjoyed it!"  It is nice that she had fun.  Emalya also appreciates the explanation of her feelings, because it would be hard to tell otherwise.  "There is little else like the feeling of flying,' she admits.

Then, Ruri tilts her head, and Emalya smiles widely.  "Yes!" she answers.  "I have three.  My son's name is Kazsim!  He is a fine young man now--he has married, and I hope that he and his wife will soon give me a grandchild!"  She is still smiling.  "But of course it is up to them when... A mother can hope, though!"

"I have photographs if you wish to see..."

But she knows enough not to pull them out unless someone's ''sure''.  Even if she wants to!! "Oh, and his wife is very beautiful!  Like him, she has 'parents'!  It was a joy to meet them."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        Omoikane's name is yobisute, which means one of two things -- either they're ''very'' close, or it's an insult -- and she speaks of him warmly, so it's unlikely to be the latter.

        "That's why they're so manoeuvrable," Ruri explains. "At least, all the ones I've talked to. They want to help, like that."

        She nods, when Emalya says she enjoyed it. "I'm glad," Ruri says, expression not shifting much at all. "My friends were actors, so it's good people are enjoying their performance. And... it was definitely different, flying in a little machine like that."

        But -- children! Grandchildren? Ruri blinks, once and once again, blink-blink-blink. "You don't look that old," she says, directly. Perhaps she doesn't quite realise it's rude to point out. Or perhaps, with all the brazenness of youth, she doesn't care.

        "Oh," she realises, a touch later, "I remember, I read about this. Meltrandi didn't have parents for a long time, right?" She pauses, for a moment, glancing up. "I must have had parents... well, there were people who raised me, anyway. So it's kind of hard for me to imagine. But I guess I'm just kind of sheltered."

        She pauses, and adds: "Can you show me the photos?" She's sure!! Hooray!!!


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Not just a comrade... but a dear comrade!  A close friend!  Perhaps a confidant!

All the ones she's talked to... Emalya, admittedly, has never heard of talking to machines in this way.  So her eyes sparkle.  "I see!  I would not have known.  I rely very heavily on my own machine... It is good to think that our hearts could be one in this way."

"I primarily fly a variable fighter," Emalya explains, for her part.  "I am pleased to meet someone who had a part in a film I enjoyed.  For this reason, as well!"

When Ruri says she doesn't look that old, the Meltrandi laughs.  It is a musical, happy thing; she wears emotions on her sleeve to an extent extremely different from Ruri's private nature.  "And yet I am!" she says cheerfully.  "It is common among my people, I think.  Our ages are difficult for humans to identify sometimes!"

And then Ruri realizes, "That is correct.  I had no parents myself, only our lineage of clones!"  Then she considers that pause.  "Of course, I had people who attended to my training, even so.  Simply not a 'couple' as is the common thing with humans!  I believe your human word for them would be more... 'sister'."

Sheltered... "I was also 'sheltered' from many things when I was young.  But I have embraced many now!"

Then her eyes practically sparkle, moreso than before, when Ruri agrees to see her photographs.  "Oh, yes!  I will show you first Kazsim and his wife Medzra," she says, and pulls a wallet from her purpose that is ''full'' of photographs.  The first is of a happy Zentradi couple, one of whom somewhat resembles Emalya herself.  She passes that one over, "And this is my daughter, Radiha... She is very talented!  She has been studying in school for some time now, and the things she knows astound me! And my third child, Fahirth, he is what you call of 'nonbinary' gender!  Mine is apparently 'female'?  I did not realize that there were so many but it is wonderful!  He knows much of these things."

There's one photograph that Ruri might catch sight of that Emalya ''doesn't'' introduce however, of a Zentradi man with green hair and piercing eyes.

But she is happily showing off the others.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Variable Fighters are nice," Ruri agrees. She has occasion to talk to them sometimes, too!

        She tilts her head, as she considers the possibility of ''sisters.'' "I don't think I ever had siblings," she says, which is a strange way to phrase it, but she's a strange girl.

        Ruri takes the photos, and examines them. Kazsim, Medzra... Radiha... Fahirth. She's struck by how ''old'' they all are. They're ''adults!'' And as for that last one -- "I know about that," Ruri confirms, on the topic of Genders. "Enba-san is, too. From the Ra Mari II. I'm okay with being called a girl, but I guess it just doesn't matter that much to me." Ruri isn't someone who invests a lot into her femininity, the way Minato does. She's too busy coding!

        It's nice that she's had time to think about it, though.

        She ''does'' notice another figure, in those photographs, though. And she stops Emalya, as she's going through them, to point to him. "Who's that?" She asks, apparently unaware of what landmines look like.


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

"Where I used to work, we developed many!"  Emalya likes them, too.  It was not her first unit, of course.

Ruri doesn't think so!  "Yes, I suppose without knowing your full origins you would not know this thing," Emalya reflects.  Because Ruri said she 'must have had parents', after all.  "Luckily, it is possible to find 'siblings' in life!  At least, we decided it was so, and who would stop us?  The human concept of 'family' is one that allows for many relationships!"

They are; Kazsim's 26, and even Fahirth is 19 now.  They're adults!  But the last one, Ruri know, "Oh, yes?" she asks.  "How nice!"  Then she considers Ruri's feelings on gender.  "I did not realize that it was important until Fahirth told it to me, but as I reflected on it, I found I identify very much with human 'women'," she explains in turn.

But Ruri points out another figure--and Emalya stops, for a moment, and perhaps Ruri can identify the moment that that particular question lances through the Meltrandi.  "Ah..."

"His name is Kadoran.  He is a brave and skilled pilot, and together with him I discovered what human 'love' is like.  My last name is his!  It is a tradition some human women prefer to do, taking her husband's name to become one name.  I decided to do it for myself.  ...He is kind, and always inquisitive, and very attractive, and..."

She pauses, and looks down.  "He died, four years ago, in battle.  I miss him very much."

She smiles, but it is a very sad kind of smile.  Then she bites her lip, and takes a deep breath. And then the sad expression fades, and she adopts a more upbeat one, though still a bit subdued.  "But I should have introduced him first.  He gave me all three of my children!  He was very good at being the father.  ...I keep his photograph to keep a part of him close to me.  I do not know if that practice has a name, but it is important to me."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Where they were born... you must have an interesting life." Ruri's reflecting on the ''Variable Fighters,'' mind you, not Emalya's children. Maybe she's just strange, the way children often are.

        Ruri nods. "That's what some of the women on the Nadesico told me, when I asked them what it meant. They said things like, 'my experiences match other women's experiences, so I'm happiest as a woman', and 'there's no way I'd be anything else', and 'I chose this because it's more comfortable for me'," she explains.

        Beat. "But Dr. Fressange said it didn't matter to her," she adds, "and Erina-san said it was just a distraction, worrying about questions like that. So it's not like it's universal, either."

        The fact that Ruri went around asking everyone to explain Gender is just a background Nadesico event which everyone has come to accept. It takes a village to raise a child! Or a warship. Or multiple warships. A village of warships?

        Ruri ''is'' still a child, though -- which explains why she accidentally runs Emalya through. "Oh," she frowns; the expression is subdued as anything over her face, but she seems genuinely bothered by what she stumbled into. "Um... I'm sorry," she tries, because she doesn't know what to say, but it seems like she ''should'' probably apologise. "But he sounds like he was nice."

        She pauses, and adds: "I don't know, either. But I can look it up." She pulls out her communicator, taps at it, and a set of holographic windows pop up as the Nadesico calls in.

                        < QUERY ? >
                        < WHAT'S UP >
                        < SOMETHING WRONG ? >

        "Nothing's wrong," Ruri assures Omoikane, gently. "I just wanted to ask... what is it called when someone keeps a photograph of someone who died with them?" Ruri asks the text box which pops up. And so --

        An encyclopedia entry on ''mementos'' is displayed!

                        < The practice of keeping mementos allows people to remember important persons, places, or events. >
                        < Also called souvenirs, keepsakes, or tokens of rememberance, mementos can be personal effects or commercialised products. >
                        < A memento which is passed down from one generation to the next is also called an 'heirloom.' >

        "Oh," Ruri says, reading the information. "So it's a memento, I guess. Does that sound right, Mrs. Zamana?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

"Yes," Emalya agrees.  "I do!  With your clearance you might be able to view some of the records of our work," the Meltrandi volunteers.  "I cannot be certain, of course.  Unfortunately I can no longer make appointments to actually see our machines..."  Which she gathers that Ruri might like!! She doesn't entirely know ''why'', but hey, kids can be weird.

Ruri mentions the experiences of the women on the Nadesico and Emalya listens in interest, nodding along with the various answers, each a perspective.  "I see!" Emalya considers.  "I suppose they both have things that matter more to them..."

A village of warships!

But Ruri frowns, and she apologies, and Emalya shakes her head.  "It is not a problem.  If I cannot bear to have him brought up then that is the problem.  The memories, they are good memories."

Ruri doesn't know, but...?

"Oh!"

Messages, and Ruri asks a question before...

'Mrs. Zamana' is a little balm to her heart, at the moment, and it shows on her face.  It is an identity she worked very hard at achieving.  "...Yes," the Meltrandi says.  "That sounds right.  I have others..."

"But the best of them are my children.  I see him in them, even as they also are themselves.  It is... how I am told humans 'continue'."

"It is very convenient to have a friend who can answer such things for you. I have always had to ask many different people to understand."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "That's too bad," Ruri says. "I would have liked to meet them. I'll have to look it up, later." Kids can be SO weird.

        "I think memories are important," she insists. "Actually, they might be the most important things." She's ''alluded'' to not remembering her childhood well, though she's said little straight-out -- so perhaps it makes sense why she'd think they're so important.

        The balm is, being fair, ''half'' incidental -- Ruri doesn't know Emalya well, so a last-name basis is more comfortable, and she did just say she was married. But she ''did'' wonder if referring to her by name might help, since she was just talking about how she changed her name. Call it an educated social guess!!!

        "That's right," Ruri nods. "Though sometimes it's less obvious, looking at people, because sometimes people adopt children to pass things down, too. A lot of kids are orphaned, because there are a lot of conflicts going on. Well, that's a more complicated topic, though." Complicated enough for Ruri to talk about the 'people who raised her', instead of her parents.

        She brightens, though -- as much as someone like Ruri ''can'' -- when she comes to her friend. "Omoikane has a huge database, so whenever I don't know something, we can look it up together. I know a lot about science and maths and computers, but I never really learned about things like war or how society works. I like reading about it, though. I'd get bored if I knew everything."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

"I hope that you can do so!"

Memories are important... Indeed, they might be most important.  "I agree that they are important," Emalya says of that.  "At least, mine are very important to me.  And I do not believe that I am alone in this."  Obviously not, with Ruri right there.  Still, incidental or not, Mrs. Zamana appreciates the gesture.  It was nice!!

"Yes," Emalya agrees.  "Though I see it in personality, too--in the various ways that he and I raised them--there is also the obvious physical resemblance!"  She pauses, to think of that.  "This is true.  There are many such children."  But it is a more complicated topic.  Ruri can recognize that!  ...Well, she should be able to, considering.  "And then of course we pass on pieces of our 'selves' to our friends, as well.  This is something that I have seen as well..."

But Omoikane!  Now, the picture comes together.  "I see!" Emalya says.  "That is very nice, I think.  Both to have such a good friend, and to have his expertise.  I might have made many fewer mistakes in 'culture' with such an ally!"  She laughs, mostly at herself.  "I think it is nice to learn new things, as well.  I knew war very well from my own training, but to learn how society works has been the product of many years!"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "You're not," Ruri says, and this, too, is insistent. It's important to her!!

        "I went to a dinner to raise money for war orphans, once. It was... pretty weird. I guess I felt bad, since the Nadesico fighting might put more people in that situation." Ruri positions herself in one place, and not another, which is a little strange.

        Anyway.

        "But I've learned a lot from them," she admits. "... my friends." That's a second, related admission.

        Ruri's expression warms a little more, hearing her talk so nicely about Omoikane. "Yeah. I'm older than Omoikane, but he knows a lot, too. I'd know a lot less if I couldn't investigate with him."

        She pauses, and adds: "If you told me you were focused on war, I wouldn't believe you, Mrs. Zamana. You're very normal. So I guess you've been learning about this for a long time?" Another pause, and she blinks, as something strikes her. "Why'd you decide to join the SMS when you had a civilian life, anyway?"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

Emalya smiles, at that.  It is important to Ruri, too.  And that is good enough for this moment.

"Ah, yes," the Meltrandi considers of the dinner to raise money.  "I have been to a couple of events like that.  They are... strange.  They seem to include many people who do not understand war very well, but wish to be involved at a distance.  I do not entirely understand."  She considers that.  "All fighting has that potential, of course."

But she's learned a lot... and Emalya smiles.  "Good," she says.  "It is very important to have good friends."

"I see!"  She seems genuinely interested in Omoikane even if... she's not entirely sure what more to say, other than that it is nice for Ruri to have such a friend.  Then Ruri adds that other bit, and calls her 'very normal', and the older of the two smiles.  "I have," she says.  "Until recently, I had not gone to war in nearly forty years.  Now..."

She considers.  Why?  "...That is a complex answer," she says, and it is 'answer' rather than 'question' because the question was obviously fairly simple.  "The timing is because my youngest is now an adult.  I no longer need watch over him as closely.  Indeed it is... desirable, to give him more autonomy."

"But the reasoning..."  She looks down.  "...I wish to understand my husband," she says.  "He wished to make the world a better place, and could do so with his skill at war.  I wonder... is it something that I, too, could do...?  Have I ignored my 'nature' in turning my back upon war for so long?"

"I do not know.  But by his example, I hope to do what I can.  ...I cannot, however, trust the overarching government at this time..."  The Federation has problems.  "But the SMS protects the Frontier fleets, among others.  Perhaps I can contribute here."

"..."

She looks back up at Ruri, and then adds, "But I admit, I miss my children already... But I cannot ask them simply to stay home with me.  They must live their own lives, as well!"


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
<poem>

        "Nearly forty years?" Ruri can't quite hide how ''that'' surprises her. That's, like, MEGA ancient???? Don't people have kids in their early 20s???

        Oh, wait. She probably did. Then they grew up.

        Even after she maths it out and realises that's a perfectly reasonable age to be, though, Ruri still stands behind thinking that's, just, IMPOSSIBLY old. People who are 20 are already veterans with years of wisdom and experience who are ADULTS and IMPACTING THE ADULT WORLD. Imagine someone being over ''twice'' that old!

        She understands it being a complex answer without blinking, though. That's just logical.

        She listens to the answer, too, without interrupting. Firstly, she replies: "Even if you're not living with them, I'm sure they still think of you. It would be foolish not to call them." Ruri... said a rude word!! Gasp!!!

        (There are worse words kids could be saying at 13. Whoever's kid this is really got off lightly.)

        "But I can understand wondering about that." She looks down at her plate -- now emptied, it's cake and she's young and it was never going to survive -- with an air of contemplation. "What I can do is fight, too. A lot of people think that isn't fair, since I'm a young woman... but I think it's pointless not to fight when I spent so much time on it. I want all that time to matter. But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I was trained to do something else. It might be easier, I guess. Or less morally complicated."

        You know. What with all the death. Wars tend to involve a lot of that, and Ruri's the one who pulls the trigger.

        "But... even though it's complicated," Ruri shakes her head, "I think that if I was a civilian, I'd be in a lot more danger. There are a lot of people who can't fight, and the Federation is kind of harsh, really. They wanted to attack the Orb Union... because they wanted their things, I guess. Well, the Nadesico couldn't accept that. I didn't like it, myself. So even though it isn't fair that I'm fighting, and even though we can do a lot of damage, I don't think it's bad to fight to defend people. If someone needs help, you should help them, I think. I mean... defecting from the Federation has been complicated, and Nergal-san isn't entirely happy with all the paperwork, but if we didn't protect Orb back then, more people would have died. I guess that's how I think about it. Since we saved those people, it's not bad."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
<poem>

"Yes!" Emalya answers, and laughs.  "It is strange to you!  But it is true."  She seems to be charmed by this idea.  Of course, her age doesn't quite match up with a human; she must've had her oldest at a younger age than would be healthy for a human--but since she started life as a teenager, it evens out a bit.

However she is older even than other adults...

"...Yes," Emalya says, and there is something more wistful and fond in her expression as she thinks of them.  "It would be very foolish.  I will do so soon."  She has recently.  But it'd be nice again!

Ema has touched her cake, honest.  But she's been slow, because she's been talking.  And listening!  And it is sometimes difficult to do all three at once.  "I see," Emalya replies, just as contemplative; it would seem Ruri does understand wondering about it.  She hears her out before she replies, considering.  Ruri says she's 'not a civilian', and since she's on a warship this seems perfectly logical to Mrs. Zamana.  The Federation is harsh.

"It is unusual," Emalya realizes, "For a human of your age to serve on a warship.  I did not think much of it because I was created for warfare."  But she considers further.  "...it is true that you might be in more danger, as a civilian.  Fighting... While it is dangerous, it is a danger that takes your life into your own hands, instead of only in the hands of others."

"I think that that is admirable... But I admit, until my husband, I had no such reasons for fighting.  I fought because it was what I was made for.  I fought because it was what I must do.  I had never thought about fighting to 'protect' people.  Or to 'help' people."

"...But that is also important.  I have those now who I would protect."  She looks at her photos, still on the table, and then back to Ruri.  "But it is not a bad thing to find your own 'purpose', aside from what you were trained for, I think.  So long as you make the choice for yourself.  The wonder of humanity... is that they showed us that we could have that choice at all."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Ruri Hoshino has posed.
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        "Technically, the Nadesico is a civilian ship," Ruri says. "The crew were all sourced from civilians, except for Goat-san. But I guess I don't really feel like one, now we're not friendly with the Federation. I don't know that we're really enemies, either, but..."

        Ruri sighs, her shoulders sinking. "Well, there are a lot of bad feelings, and sometimes people's tempers get out of hand, especially in a fight. Sometimes I worry about that." She's worried about ''Omoikane,'' specifically.

        Ruri doesn't lose her temper in a fight. Ruri doesn't HAVE a temper, in a fight.

        She nods, though. "In most places, the minimum age of enlistment is sixteen. I'm thirteen, but I started working on the Nadesico when I was eleven." That's five years younger than sixteen! "Well, sometimes people fudge their enlistment paperwork to get in early, but not really this early. But Nergal-san wanted me, specifically." So they bought her for the team, even though she was so young.

        That's not a typo.

        "My purpose... Dr. Dorothy asked me about that, a few times. About what I wanted to do. My choices. I wasn't sure, back then. I'm still not entirely sure now, but... I do want to help people." Ruri sighs, again. "Well, I guess Dr. Dorothy wasn't a good person, in the end, but... even though she was a scientific criminal, it's hard for me to say she's a bad person. Ever since the pilot of High Tension died, I haven't seen her... I guess she really did quit, so it would be inconvenient if she talked to me again. Anyway, I don't think worrying about what I want is a bad thing, since a lot of other people do, too. And a lot of them are good people." Not all of them??

        Apparently Ruri REALLY doesn't know about stranger danger.

        "I guess we're both figuring it out," Ruri says, "so good luck, Mrs. Zamana. I hope you can decide whether fighting is right for you."


</poem>
 <Pose Tracker> Emalya Zamana has posed.
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"Oh..."  Emalya tilts her head.  "I never really understood the distinction.  You fight, you're a warrior.  But apparently humans think it's very important to distinguish it."  She rights herself.  "That is also difficult... I am uncomfortable, when I do not know who is my enemy."

But Ruri seems to be, too.  "Mm, yes..."  Bad feelings and tempers.  "This is true."

But Ruri has the information!  "I see," she says.  "That is very early for a human!  But it would seem that they really wanted you.  And you were in training even before that for the Nadesico..."  She considers that.

Something strikes me as wrong about that, but she can't quite put her finger on it.  It's something that makes her feel protective of Ruri, though.

"People are complex!  I am certain that my enemies in the war would have called me a 'bad person.'  Perhaps they were correct."  She can't deny that she was ''different'' then, certainly.  "I have trouble with good and bad people.  But I think that you believe in what you are doing, and so that is good.  And you have good friends to stand with you!"

She smiles back.  "Thank you," she says.  "I also hope this.  I wish you and Omoikane well on your own journey."

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